


Journey to The Blessed Isle

by Pookie_pai



Series: Modern Exalted [2]
Category: Exalted (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, F/F, F/M, Fights, Graphic Description, Men Crying, Original Character(s), Sex, Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:49:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 87,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24643609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pookie_pai/pseuds/Pookie_pai
Summary: A young woman's world is turned upside down when two Exalts turn up at her family farm needing aid.~~~This is a story containing original characters, based in the Exalted Modern setting. It uses characters from a game I was in about 7 years ago, as well as new characters. Forgive me for being liberal with the game mechanics, it's been a long time since I played Exalted and my GM took the rules with a pinch of salt!I've not even written anything since the campaign ended, so be gentle with me.
Series: Modern Exalted [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896184
Comments: 20
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

It was a shame really, the day was bright, a light breeze making the leaves gently sway, giving the day a comfortable coolness. Living so close to The Wilds, an uninhabitable area of dark forests overflowing with essence, made the weather on her small farm unpredictable. Days like this were rare, the morning had been busy, catching up on work that the previous week of rain had made impossible, repairing damage from the unrelenting downpour. The afternoon was meant to be hers, time spent walking through the outskirts of The Wilds, gathering herbs and listening to the gentle songs of essence that hummed through her, unheard by others.

That’s why the clattering and raised voices downstairs were such a shame. It had been so long since a patient had been brought here, she thought the beasts had moved on to torment another village. Alas no, downstairs was some unlucky person, unfortunate enough to have a run in with the Abyssal beasts that plagued the edge of The Wilds. She sighed, standing up from her chair, leaving her tea half drunk and still steaming. Always, it fell to her to comfort these visitors, the secrets left in her mothers books had taught her how to use what the land provided to heal wounds and ease their pain. It was never their wounds that killed them though, she could fix those, it was the blackened Abyssal taint that ate away at persons essence, their very source of life. All she could do was ease their passing, giving comfort in death.

“Israfel!” her fathers gruff voice called out, with the usual urgency it would have in these situations.

She made her way out of her room and began descending the stairs, her father's familiar, broad frame filled the door frame below. Her father was a large man, muscular from years of manual labour, but with a softness to him from good food and drink. His hair was a brilliant red, the same as hers, though his was now flecked with grey, as was his stubble. The rest of his face was weathered by working on a farm for his whole life, his eyes were round and inviting, though Israfel knew the sadness that laid just beneath them.

“Hurry child, this is serious.” he said, reaching out to take her hand.

Israfel accepted his hand, he always offered it to her and she always took it, gaining comfort from his warmth. The sights she had seen, she treasured the small display of compassion, it readied her for the emotionally draining work she was about to undertake.

He led her through dimly lit corridors into the bright and airy kitchen. This was her room, where she cooked for her father, not usually cared for the sick and injured. A bookcase to her left was filled with her mothers notes along with literature Israfel had brought from the village. She would read anything, it was her only link to the wider world. To her right a cabinet filled with jars of various herbs and bottles of essence infused spring water, all collected from the outskirts of The Wilds.

Her father tried to lead her further into the room, but Israfel froze, panic overtook her as soon as she passed through the door. This isn’t right, she though. Israfel had always been able to hear the song of peoples essence in her mind, it was always a single instrument playing a quiet melody. But this, this was like an orchestra roaring out of tune, unable to follow the conductor, all underpinned with a mechanical hum. It was the same overwhelming feeling she got when she strayed too far into The Wilds.

“Daddy…” she whispered timidly.  
He gripped her hand tighter, “It’s ok,” he pulled her into the room, leading her to the cabinet of herbs, “with your help, this one might even make it.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” a harsh female voice interjected, it had the same mechanical hum that underpinned the orchestra Israfel heard, “I was told we could find help here.”

Israfel and her father both turned to the source of the voice, a tall, almost painfully thin woman stood across the room. Her unnaturally pale skin shimmered in the sunlight that filled the room, her jet black eyes flickered green, she was dressed in combat gear stained with dirt and blood. Most of her jet black hair had been shaved off, what remained was pulled into a tight ponytail. The woman was frowning at her, black lips pulled thin as she stood unnaturally still. Israfels’ panic deepened, there was a darkness to this woman, it was different from the darkness of the Abyssals, but everything about her felt so otherworldly.

It was Israfel’s father that replied, “Humans die from these kinds of wounds, Israfel eases their passing. We never see your kind round here, he might just be strong enough to survive.” He pointed it the man lying on their dining table.

Looking to where her father pointed Israfel gasped, the man was huge, his legs hung off the end of the table and his shoulders filled out the whole width of it. No wonder he had been left in here to recieve treatment, he was too big for the meager infirmary she had set up. His face was contorted in pain that he felt even though unconscious, his breathing was erratic. He was dressed the same as the woman, but his shirt was flayed open along with the flesh underneath it. Quickly Israfel grabbed a few choice herbs and a bottle of spring water, placing them on the limited table space left remaining. Panic replaced with a sense of urgency, her desire to heal overtook everything else.

She unbuttoned the scraps of his shirt to assess the damage and frowned, “This is bad, when did this happen?” she asked, looking towards the woman.  
“I carried him for three days before finding a village, they directed me here.” she replied.  
“Three days…” Israfel murmured, “most people would be dead already, he might just make it with help.”

She held her hand out and, without needing to give instructions, her father handed her a sharp knife. The wounds were deep, down to the bone, the edges necrotic, they’d stopped bleeding, clotting off during the three days it took to bring him here. As always black essence visibly oozed from the wounds, but this was different, a glowing essence was mixed in with it, shinning like moonlight, trying to push the taint out. Methodically Israfel cut away at the necrotic wounds until she drew blood, exposing pink, granulating flesh. She then washed his chest, removing the dried blood and dirt that caked him, allowing her to pack the now clean wounds with herbs she had soaked in the spring water. The wounds were large and deep, it took what felt like hours to debride the dead flesh, to clean that enormous chest of his. She must have used half of her supply to pack the wounds, Israfel had never seen any so sever, most people were dead before they got her when hurt this badly. It shook her to the core; witnessing such desecration to the human body, to see the suffering this man was going through even when unconscious.

Standing back Israfel surveyed her work. The wounds now clean and packed had the desired effect, his breathing was now steady, shallow but steady, his face relaxed. He is handsome, she mused to herself while studying the mans face closer, his skin was a beautiful coppery-brown shade though slightly grey from blood loss right now, his features rugged. The man had a strong, high forehead, a chiselled jaw and a long aquiline nose. Israfel wondered what his eyes were like, hidden behind such beautiful eyelashes... But something was different about him. That’s when it hit her, his ears! Her eyes widened in shock noticing they sat atop his head, black and furred, the fur flowing into his long matted hair, like some kind of animal ears. She looked further down his body, everything else appeared normal until she noticed a tail, covered in the same black fur, gently swaying next to his legs.

Slowly Israfel reached out a hand, curious if the fur felt as soft as it looked, but she was stopped as a cold, black, metallic hand gently held her wrist in place. She looked at the hand, then her eyes travelled over the delicate wrist, up the sleeved arm until she was face to face with the mysterious woman that had disrupted her afternoon of peace.

“He doesn’t like people touching that.” the woman said coldly.  
“Oh, sorry…” Israfel said trying to step away.

Despite how gentle the grip on her wrist felt, it held her fast, completely unmoving. The woman reached for her other wrist, this hand was slightly warmer but still cool, softer on her skin, white and shimmery like the rest of the woman’s complexion. Israfel's father stepped forward protectively, but the woman smiled at them both. There was something unsettling about the smile, there was a genuine attempt at friendliness in it but it was so mechanical looking.

“Thank you, truly.” her lower lip trembled, a real show of emotion when it concerned the handsome stranger. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.” Her smile warmed for real this time, “So now what?”  
“Now we wait for him to wake up.” Israfel's father replied, pulling up three stools.

~~~

The orchestra continued to play in Israfel's mind, but it was in tune now, calmer, the mechanical hum continued to drone in the background. His breathing was deeper now, in time with the beat, slow and steady, giving out a calming aura. Israfel shifted uncomfortably on the wooden stool, exhausted, treating such extensive wounds had taken her till dusk, but now the sun was set, moonlight filling the room. Their female guest hadn’t spoken in hours, she sat holding the man's hand, her eyes closed, breathing so shallow it wasn’t even noticeable. She was so still sat there, it was difficult to believe she was even alive.

“So, who are you two?” Israfel's father asked in his gruff voice, clearly annoyed buy the continuing silence. “You’re clearly not from around here”  
The woman's eyes flickered open, black and lifeless only for an instant before the faint green glow returned. “You two first. I need to know if it’s safe to give out our names.”  
“Safe? We welcome you into our home and you question our intentions?” Her father grumbled.  
“Dad, it’s ok, they’ve clearly been through a lot. I’m Israfel and this is my father, Jared.” She said warmly.  
The woman's eyes went black again, just for a nanosecond before the light returned, “This place is so far from civilisation you two aren't even on record. I guess there’s no harm in it." She laughed to herself, "I’m Lisara Bell, this is Cullen.” she indicated to the still unconscious man  
“Well Lisara, you and your…” Israfel noticed the moonsilver wedding band glistening on the woman's metal hand, “husband are safe here.”  
A deep green blush spread across Lisara's face, “Husband?” she stammered before erupting into laughter, “No, no, no, Cullen’s my son!”  
Jared chuckled, “Your kind never fail to surprise me. I didn’t know it affecting ageing so dramatically.”  
Israfel looked to her father, then back to Lisara, “Your kind? What does that mean?” She knew there was something different about these two.  
Lisara flashed a toothy grin, “You don’t know what we are? But you’re an Exalt too aren’t you?”  
Jared placed a protective hand on his daughters knee and spoke coldly, “No she is not.”  
“Sorry,” replied Lisara, waving a hand dismissively, “her essence is strong, But I guess it could be from living so close to The Wilds.” she said doubtfully.  
“I don’t understand,” Israfel interjected, "what's an Exalt?"  
Lisara tapped her nose thoughtfully, "It's hard to explain but I'll give it a go. A millennia ago, during the Golden age there were great heroes blessed with the ability to shape Creation around them, they could manipulate their essence and draw on essence around them unlike normal humans could. You know what essence is?"  
Israfel nodded, "A little, mother wrote about it. Essence is the energy that flows through all Creation, through life itself."  
"Exactly." Lisara lent forwards, "When the Golden age ended, the souls of those heroes remained as higher souls."  
"Higher souls? As opposed to what?" Israfel asked quizzically.  
"Technology degraded our link to the world around us, along with our souls. We refer to our current state as having a lesser soul." Lisara's voice droned on. "When someone is up against unfathomable odds, or under severe emotional distress, one of the higher souls might link to the lower soul. That's the birth of an Exalt."  
"If Exalts can use essence, that means the Abyssals are Exalts?" Israfel asked.  
Lisara rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, "Well yes, but they're only one type of Exalt, there's lots of different types. Most of us use our gifts for good, or at least to survive."  
Jared snorted, "Plenty of non Abyssals do terrible things. I'm old enough to remember the destruction of the Yellow River cities. Essence use should be reserved for the Gods."  
The mechanical hum screeched for a second, Lisara tensed before breathing out slowly, the hum resumed. "The Gods aren't as holy as people think, trust me on that."  
Feeling the tension building, Israfel decided to redirect the conversation, "Can you tell us what you and Cullen are doing out here? Where are you from?"  
"We're from Meruvia, I was sent out here to do recon on the Abyssals, I brought Cullen along for training." She sighed, "Clearly he wasn't ready for this though, he's too young and foolhardy in his Exaltation."  
"Lisara..." Israfel put her hand on Lisara's, "he'll be ok, I'm sure of it."  
She only nodded in reply, then continued talking, more to herself the anyone else. "It was meant to be a simple mission, in and out, gather information to assess the threat they pose on Creation. We weren't meant to engage with them, but Cullen got careless, alerted them to our position. We had no choice but to fight, it was nothing on my part, I've been a soldier my whole life, survival is second nature to me, but him..." she reached out and stroked Cullen's cheek, "he's so reckless with his life ."  
"Foolish boy, life is too precious too be squandered." Jared interjected, breaking Lisara's focus away from her son.  
"He hates his Exaltation, it reminds him of the trauma he went through to get it." She held up her hand before anyone else could speak, "That's his story to tell though, not mine."  
"What kind of Exalts are you two then?" Israfel asked, trying to steer the conversation to something less painful for their guest.  
Lisara smiled sadly, drawn back to the kitchen, "He's a Lunar, a shape shifter. I..." Lisara tapped her nose. "I'm an Alchemical, it's an artificial Exaltation that allows me to use essence fuelled technology." Lisara noticed Israfel staring at her mechanical hand, "That's just the tip of the iceberg."

Israfel opened her mouth to reply but all the came out was a yawn. The day had been so long, her weariness had snuck up on her.  
"Come on you," Jared said, helping her to her feet, "It's time to call it a night." He turned to Lisara, "We have a spare room upstairs for you too."  
Lisara shook her head, "I'm fine here, thank you."

After what felt like climbing a mountain Israfel collapsed onto her bed, despite the whirlwind happening in her mind, exhaustion overwhelmed her, falling asleep the moment her head touched the pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the dawn of the fifth day since their unexpected visitors had arrived, Israfel had busied herself with farm work for the last four days, not daring to stray to far from her patient. Lisara hadn't left his side, refusing all offers of food and drink, not even laying down to rest. Miraculously though, she didn’t look tired, Israfel assumed she must be able to survive off of her own essence. Israfel wanted to know more about these mysterious Exalts but Lisara was clearly worried about her son, she didn’t need Israfel pestering her.

As the sun broke through her window, Israfel stirred, preparing herself for another hard day at work. Jared would have been up already, he liked to make an early start, trying to beat the unpredictability of the climate around here. Israfel's morning routine consisted of checking on Cullen before bringing her father a simple breakfast of bread and cheese. Then finally the real work began, ploughing the fields, feeding the animals, mucking out the barns, drawing water from the well were just the start of her chores.

She slipped on a simple dress, patches of different fabrics covering it where she had repaired it countless times, stepped into work boots that were shaped perfectly to her feet after miles of use. Brushing her long red hair, she tied it back to keep it out of the way. Israfel paused, looking at herself in the mirror, she was oddly pale for someone that worked outside. Her dress came down to her knees, hiding her thick thighs from sight, it sat shapeless of her body obscuring her frame from view. It wasn’t that she was a large woman, but she was softer and curvier than she would have liked. Israfel sighed, she never understood the hang-ups she had with her appearance, it wasn’t as if there was anyone to impress this far away from the rest of the world. Forcing herself to look away, she wrapped herself in a shawl to stave off the morning chill, before heading downstairs. The house was quiet and dark, but it was a cosy darkness, familiar and inviting. The kitchen on the other hand was bright and airy, the morning sun shining through the windows.

Israfel smiled to herself, Cullen laid on the table sleeping and he had rolled onto his side facing Israfel. It was the first time he had moved in days, a good sign. Lisara was no where to be seen, Israfel's smile widened, she must have realised he was recovering quickly. The wounds on Cullen's chest had been healing unnaturally fast, spurred on by his essence mixing with her herbs. They were now covered by his massive arm laid across him. His face was picture of peace now, almost unrecognisable from when it had been contorted in pain. 

Cautiously Israfel took hold of his arm, barely managing to lift its weight out of the way so she could examine his chest. The wounds had knitted together nicely, all that remained were three long, pink scars, still tender looking but definitely healed. The pink contrasted sharply with his dark skin. His chest was chiselled, strong muscles pulling the skin taught. She lent in for a closer look at her work, but before she even knew what was happening, Cullen's arm broke free from her grip, wrapping itself around her waist pulling her closer.

His eyes opened, dark brown eyes stared directly at Israfel, "What do we have here?"  
"I... uhh..." Israfel stammered, but was interrupted before she could say more.  
"You should have just asked." He said, grinning, showing off his white teeth with frighteningly long, sharp canines, "There's plenty of room up here if you want to join me."  
"Wha...?" She couldn't control the trembling of her voice.  
"Unless you have somewhere more comfortable we could go?" His voice was deep, smooth as honey as he purred at her.

A furious blush spread across her face, her whole body felt like fire, burning hottest where his massive arm encircled her waist. His song was soft, seductive, pulling her in. She didn't know whether to lean in closer or run away, fear mixed with an unfamiliar feeling, fluttered inside her. His eyes were like two brown pools she could get lost in. Israfel tried to process what he had said, he couldn’t have meant to invite her to lay with him... Surely not? He must have meant something else, there was no way he would have asked her for something like that so suddenly. But as quickly as she had found herself in his grasp, she was free, stumbling back into the safe, familiar arms of her father.

Stepping forward, Lisara offered her son a hand, "You don't have the strength to back up that offer."  
Cullen laughed, taking Lisara's hand, "You're probably right." He gingerly pulled himself up, the table groaned under his shifting weight. "Gods that thing really did a number on me..." He said wincing, placing his free hand on his chest.  
"Please be gentle with yourself," Israfel said, still in her father's protective arms, "there's still a long way to go until you're fully recovered."

Cullen slowly lowered himself off of the table, hand still on his chest, supporting his injured torso. Standing up to his full height, his ears almost touched the ceiling, it felt like his massive frame filled the whole room. He walked forward, slowly, unsteadily, towards Israfel. She felt like prey being stalked, dark eyes focused on her, the song in her head pulling her forward.

"I'd happily get injured again if it means being cared for by someone as lovely as you."  
His arm reached out for her, but Israfel was pulled away as Jared stepped back and spoke cautiously, "Do you mind not speaking to my daughter like that?"  
"Sorry and uhh..." Cullen rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. His whole posture changed, his ears turned back, as if he was shrinking away from her, "thanks for helping me I guess."

Instantly the tune in Israfel's mind shifted, it darkened, notes in the minor key droned on for an uncomfortably long time. She wriggled out of her father's arms, not used to hearing the changes in another's emotions so drastically. The song was painfully sad now, the sorrow of it creeping deep inside Israfel, chilling her to the core. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time, since her childhood and times she would rather forget. Panic built up inside her, she needed to get away from this confusing man and his loud song. She needed some quiet to try and calm herself down.

"I... I have work to do!" She blurted out before running out of the room, out of the house.  
Lisara frowned at her son, then at Jared, "She left before you had a chance to tell her we finished everything already."  
"Its fine," Jared said, shrugging, "she's a quiet girl. She needs some time to herself."

~~~

The rain began to fall, bouncing off of the trees, into the grove below forming muddy puddles on the floor. Droplets bounced loudly off of the modest shrine hidden here, running down it's mossy stones forming a pool at it's based. One rogue drop landed on soft skin, travelling along the surface before dripping off a petite nose to continue its journey to earth. A green eye fluttered open, followed by another, a sigh escaping plump lips.  
"I guess that means it's time to head home then." A weary voice said to no one.  
The soft melody of the grove, a single harp playing a gentle tune, had lulled Israfel into sleep. It was interrupted by a single deep note being plucked, as in if agreement, before continuing. She pulled herself to her feet, placing a hand on the cool, wet stone.  
"Bye Mum, I'll come back again soon."

As Israfel approached the farm, she noticed the slim figure of Lisara stood at the gate waiting for her. The now torrential rain that soaked Israfel didn't seem to bother the strange woman who stood still as a statue awaiting Israfel's approach. As she walked closer, Israfel realised the rain didn’t bother their guest, it didn't even land on her, evaporating before it had a chance to soak her. Her mechanical hum permeated through Israfel.

"You're soaking Israfel. Let's get you inside and warmed up." Lisara yelled over the sound of the rain.  
"But you aren't." Her reply contained an unasked question.  
"It's a simple use of one of my charms, my essence abilities." She replied, taking place along side Israfel. "Cold rain hurts my joints in my old age."  
"Old age?" Israfel said, studying the face of a woman who looked barely older than her. "How old are you? If that isn't a rude question."  
"I'm 62, young for an Exalt, but some of the trappings of human aging haven't escaped me." She replied.  
"You shouldn't have come out to meet me then!" Concern wracked Israfel's voice.  
"It's fine, I wanted to talk to you alone." She stopped them beneath the cover of a barn. "I wanted to apologise for my son's behaviour earlier. I hope he didn't scare you, he's a terrible flirt but he doesn't mean any harm. He's grateful to you, we both are."  
Israfel chewed her lower lip, remembering the coldness of his thanks. "I'm not sure he is."  
Sadness flickered across Lisara's face, "You're probably right. But I still am."  
A crack of lightning lit up the sky, followed by a roar of thunder.  
"We should get inside, the storms here can be terrible." Said Israfel, taking hold of Lisara's sleeve, leading her to the farmhouse.

"Welcome home Israfel." Her father's voice was warm and inviting as she entered the living room.

Jared was sat in his usual armchair, taking the occasional puff on his pipe. The smell of it always made Israfel feel at home. On the floor by the fire sat Cullen, his tail wrapped around himself. On hand absent mindedly twirling the fur, the other hand patted the ground next to him as he looked expectantly at Israfel. He was wearing fresh fatigues, clean and pressed. His hair was now brushed back off his face and tied loosely at the back. Israfel felt a twinge inside chest, the colur had returned to his face, his fangs glistened in the light. So handsome, she said to herself, like something out of one of my books. Though from his earlier exchange with her, he lacked the romantic charms of her books heroes. Cullen was much more... forward.

"Come, sit and get warm by the fire." He said, invitingly.  
Lisara snorted, "You call that a fire?"

She picked up a log from the pile, he essence revved up like a car in Israfel's mind before the log erupted into brilliant green flames. She tossed it onto the fire and instantly the room filled with a brilliant warmth and a green glow. Israfel's eyes widened in shock, seeing a true display of an Exalt's abilities for the first time, it had all seemed so effortless... She found herself wondering just what Lisara could do if she really tried. Jared murmured to himself as the warmth hit him, settling down in his chair and closing his eyes. His lack of response to Lisara’s charms was confusing to Israfel; he said it himself, their kind never came here, so how was he so unfazed by it? Lisara then sat herself down on the sofa, legs folded underneath her and closed her eyes. The sound of her essence fizzled out to nothing louder than that of a drowsy bumble bee. She sat perfectly still, not even breathing much to Israfel’s shock.

Hesitantly, she sat herself down next to Cullen, the fire inviting her despite his intimidating presence. Grateful of the warmth she held her arms out to the fire, frozen fingers defrosting. It was a refreshing break to not have to stoke the fire before feeling the benefit of it. Blissfully warm, she sat there in silence allowing herself to dry off. As minutes passed, despite the heat from the fire, Israfel could still feel the warm breath that now caressed her cheek and a blush crept across her face. He was so close to her...

"So now we're alone..." Cullen purred in her ear, "About my earlier offer?"  
"I don't know what you mean..." Perhaps if she played dumb and innocent he would get the hint. Not that she had to even play at being the latter, her Father had scared off any potential suitors.  
"You're cute. Want me to show you what I mean?" He reached out, brushing a wet strand of hair off her forehead.  
Gods yes, she did. But then what? He would go back home to Meruvia and she would stay here. Not exactly the romanctic tale she had hoped for. "Shall I make us some tea?" Israfel asked as she stood up, needing some distance from the man.  
"Got anything stronger? I could do with a pick-me-up." Cullen answered coolly.

Israfel knew it was might be a mistake, but it had been so long since she'd even had the chance to enjoy the comapny of anyone beside Jared. This was a good oppertunity to learn more about the world from firsthand experience. After picking out a bottle of honey coloured liquid and two glasses out of the drinks cabinet, Israfel settle back down in front of the fire. She poured Cullen a hefty serving, he seemed like a man that would need a drink after what he's been through.

Cullen eyed her half filled glass, "Not much of a drinker?"  
She shook her head, "It's good stuff for warming you up, that's all we really use it for."  
He knocked the drink back in a single go before proceeding to pour another. "Gods you're right about that, this is some strong stuff. Well then," he lent back, basking in the glow of the fire, "I want to know more about the mysterious healer that saved my life."  
Israfel took a sip, shuddering as the strong alcohol hit the back of her throat, "There isn't much to say really, I've lived on this farm my whole life. It's just me and Dad."  
"You must be very lonely." He said quietly. The flirtatious streak in his voice now gone  
She smiled sadly, "Yeah I guess so, there's a few villages nearby, but everyone my age has moved away, I just go there for supplies. We occasionally get visitors like you, though you're the first one to survive."  
"Sounds pretty rough." Cullen mused, taking another drink.  
"It's ok, people come needing help, so that's what I do." Israfel took another drink then smiled sadly, "I can go talk to my Mum, that always makes me feel better."  
"Oh your Mum's nearby? That's not too bad then." He replied, pouring another drink for himself and Israfel.  
Israfel stared into the glass before emptying it, "She's buried in a grove nearby."  
Cullen shifted uncomfortably, "Shit I'm sorry."

They sat in silence drinking, Israfel tried to pace herself, but Cullen kept pouring. Even when the bottle was empty, he went to get another. Jared had woken up briefly, frowned at the two of them and then excused himself to bed, Lisara remained unmoving on the sofa, her stillness unnatural. 

Israfel finally broke the silence, "Tell me about yourself, I want to know what life is like in the civilised world. I never get to speak to someone my own age... you are my age aren't you?"  
Cullen nodded, "Yeah I'm 25."  
"Just a year older than me then." She said, smiling warmly.  
"Yeah." He tapped his nose, "So about me... it's not that interesting really, I grew up incredibly privileged. Lisara comes from an insanely rich family so I never wanted for anything, went to the best schools. It was a pretty good life really. It’s pretty hectic out there, lots of pressure to get somewhere in life, you’re probably better off out here! I used to be a fireman but...” He stared into the fire sadly and knocked back a full glass before speaking again, “Then two years ago I Exalted, it all went to shit after that."  
Israfel put a hand on his, "Do you want to..." She was shocked by her boldness, but seeing him looking so sad... The healer in her took over, wanting to heal body and soul.  
He sighed remorsefully, "I'm no where near drunk enough for that conversation."

Cullen looked to his drinking partner, her hand rested softly on his, she was smiling warmly at him, though her eyes were heavy and her cheeks were flushed. His own cheeks flushed as he felt desire rise up inside him, then shame hit him. She was innocent and drunk; it wouldn't be fair on her.

"Cullen?" Israfel asked feeling his gaze lingering slightly too long on her.  
"I think it's time to call it a night." He said, breaking eye contact and standing himself up. "You ok?"  
Israfel struggled to her feet, she felt extremely dizzy, "Yeah..." she lost her balance and fell forward into Cullen's arms. "No..."  
"Come on then." He said, rolling his eyes.

She felt herself being lift off the floor, scooped up into his arms as if she weighed nothing. Guiding him through the house, she was carried upstairs, his long legs taking the steps two at a time. His song was faster now, she wasn't sure if it was from the effort of carrying her or something else.

"This is my room," she pointed out, "you can use the one opposite. But what about Lisara, will she be ok? She's not slept in days."  
Cullen shrugged, "She doesn't sleep. She'll be fine there."  
"You guys are so strange." She replied, reaching up to touch his ears.  
Cullen hissed at her, quickly putting her on the floor and pushing her away from him, “Don’t do that.” His voice was cold and flat.  
“I... I’m sorry.”  
He frowned at her, “No it’s ok, I’m sorry for being harsh. I just... don’t like it.”  
She wrung her hands together, “I guess we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like.”

Israfel suddenly felt very warm as his eyes slowly travelled up and down her body. She was thankful for the shapeless dress she was wearing. Her soft rolls mercifully hidden from his sight.

"Good night Israfel."  
She smiled, trying not to blush, "Night Cullen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should be getting a tablet with a keyboard later. That's gonna make this whole process a lot easier!


	3. Chapter 3

Israfel pulled the covers over her head, the sun was too bright today, burning away last nights storm. She groaned, her head was pounding and her stomach ached. Trying to pace herself had done nothing when Cullen had just kept pouring. She made a mental note not to drink with him again. Cullen... she groaned to herself. She had only know the man less than a day, but somehow he had left such an impression on her. There was such a gentleness to him despite the intense first impression he gave her, a kindness she hadn't expected. And a decency. His advances stopping the moment she had started to get drunk. Laid there, listening to his song, Israfel wanted to put it down to never seeing anyone else her own age, that must be it, she though to herself. The romance novels that she had read were just making her read more into this chance encounter than what was really there. None of this really mattered anyway, he would be leaving soon and she could forget this strange feeling inside her.

Then her mid flashed back to yesterday, the feeling of his hot breath on her face, his strong arms around her, his seductive voice inviting her to him. What would it be like to feel those arms enveloping her again, his hot breath as he panted above her, and that tail... would it wrap itself around her pulling her closer? She groaned as it felt like her whole body blushed. Hot... so very hot. Israfel threw the sheets off of herself, hand grasped at her night dress, lifting it up, over her thighs, stopping just above her hips. Shame washed over her, but then a great wave of desire hit her. Surely she could indulge herself? There was no harm in that, maybe it would cool her down for the next time she saw him. Work out some of this tension... Her hands travelled back down her body, finding the wisps of hair down there. Her breath quickened in anticipation.

Then came a sudden knock at the door.

Her eyes snapped open.  
“Israfel?” It was her fathers voice.  
“Just a second!” Her voice shaky.  
Jumping up and straightening her night dress, Israfel took a deep breath to try and calm herself before opening the door.  
“Morning Dad.” She said sheepishly.  
“Morning,” he said looking past her into her room, “are you ok? You overslept.”  
“Sorry,” she said while wringing her hands together, “I’m not feeling too well today.”  
He frowned, “I’m not surprised.”  
Israfel looked away from her father, “Sorry... I only meant to have one drink. Are you mad at me?”  
Jared shook his head, “No, you’re an adult, you can do whatever you want too.”  
“Is that why you’re trying to see if there’s anyone else in my room?” she said teasingly just as Cullen opened his door. A huge blush spread across her face.  
His ears were twitching, a big grin on his face, “I had fun last night Israfel.” He winked at her and walked away, his tail swishing playfully.  
She felt the blush spread down her neck, as if her entire body was blushing.  
Once Cullen was out of view, Jared turned to his daughter, “Please tell me you didn’t...”  
“Dad! Of course not!“ She was trying to keep her voice down, “You warned me about guys like him, with their sweet words before they run off, then I’m left all alone.” She frowned not comfortable with where this conversation was heading, “I’m going to get dressed now.”

Jared nodded wordlessly at her as she shut the door. Israfel leaned against the now closed door and breathed deeply, embarrassed by her earlier thoughts of him. Her father was right, he would leave, probably in the next few days, Cullen might be the kind of man that was happy with a brief encounter but that wasn’t what she wanted. She sighed as she undressed herself. What did she want? She found herself asking that question for the first time ever. This was her first glimpse of the wider world, and not just any world, but one of essence and adventure! Don’t be stupid Israfel, she thought, what about Dad? I can’t leave him alone and anyway, what would I do? Follow them around like a lost puppy? She barely left the farm, she had nothing to offer the rest of the world. She shook her head, just focus on something else, they’ll be gone soon and everything will be back to normal.

Israfel dressed herself in a knee length tunic, cinched in at the waist with a leather belt and proceeded downstairs. She walked past the kitchen where Jared and Lisara sat deep in conversation, she paused to listen in. From what she heard Lisara was asking about her, her father only giving brief but polite answers. Her stomach still aching from her hangover, Israfel didn’t feel like breakfast so she grabbed her bag and continued out of the house. A quick wander around the farm and Israfel realised that all the work had been done already, despite it still being early. Lisara must have helped, she reasoned to herself. Cullen was no where to be seen, but she could hear his song, he wasn’t far away.

Heading away from the farm, Israfel approached The Wilds, her fathers song was just audible still, she could always hear it until she entered the dense forest, then the loud thrum of Creations essence would fill her head. She paused, there was another song, growing louder. Israfel turn to see Cullen quickly walking towards her, he waved when he realised she noticed him. Israfel waited for him, his long legs catching up to her in what felt like an instant. Barely coming up to his chest height, Israfel looked up at him questioningly.

“You go into The Wilds?” He asked, falling in line beside her.  
“Yeah, I need to replenish the herbs I used on you.” He frowned at her, “It’s not that dangerous really, as long as I don’t go in to far.”  
“I’ve heard a lot about it, but it really is something up close. It’s like it’s calling to me.” He glanced at Israfel who was looking at him quizzically. “A lot of my brethren, other Lunars, are out there. They get lost in their shapeshifting and find their way here, or so I’ve been told.”  
“Should you be going in there then? I don’t want to try and explain that to Lisara if you go missing.” Concern filling her voice.  
Cullen laughed and pulled up the sleeve of his left arm, showing Israfel a silver tattoo of a crescent moon surrounded by runes on his forearm. “Don’t worry, this helps keep any transformation I do under control. It was the first thing Lisara did when I Exalted.” His voice turned bitter, his song sorrowful.  
“If you’re sure it will be fine, you can come help if you want to.” She said cheerily, trying to brighten the mood.  
Cullen snorted, his mood, his song unchanging, “I need to stretch my legs anyway.” The tone of his voice flat.

They continued their walk to the forest in silence until Israfel could stand it no more. “Why do you call her Lisara?” She asked as they passed through the thick treeline, “She’s your mother isn’t she?”  
He walked closely beside her, “It would get confusing at home if I called her Mum. I...” he stopped walking and tapped his nose, “I have two Mums at home. Mother is too formal, so I’ve always called her Lisara.”  
“I guess Mummy wouldn’t suit her.” Israfel replied laughing briefly, before turning to Cullen. “You’re lucky having two, I barely remember mine.”  
“You might not say that if you knew Lisara like I do.” He said as he put his arms behind his head, leaning against them as he started to walk again. “She can be a hard person to live with, I don’t know how Mum puts up with her.” He looked to Israfel who was looking at him intently, “Lisara’s Exaltation is strange, it’s not natural like mine or Mum’s, it was literally built into her. She’s incredibly strong because of it but... but when she pushes herself it’s like she stops being human for a while. I heard she did a lot of terrible things when she was younger. It was hard as a kid, never sure who or what will be coming home to you, hearing such terrible things about someone you’re meant to look up to.”  
Israfel stopped in Cullen’s way and smiled brightly as she placed a hand over her heart, “You are lucky to have her Cullen. She’s a good person really, Lisara loves you so much, she didn’t leave your side for three days, she didn’t eat or anything.”  
Her infectious smile had the desired effect as Cullen smiled back at her, “I know, it’s just so hard to see past myself sometimes.”  
Israfel cocked her head to the side not really understanding what he meant. She took his hand in hers and started to pull him along, “Come on, we’re close now! You’ll get to meet my Mum too.”

They made their way to the grove, sunlight beaming through the canopy bathing it in an almost heavenly light. Israfel ran forward still holding onto Cullen pulling him along behind her until they reached the centre. The grove was surrounded buy tall trees, the ground covered in a carpet of flora. At the far side, opposite to where they entered was the shrine where Israfel’s mother rested.

She let go of his hand, “Do you mind waiting here while I say hi?”  
Cullen smiled, “Go for it.”

Enjoying the peaceful melodies of Cullen and the grove harmonising together, Israfel made her way lazily across the rest of the grove. She ran her fingers through some of the taller shrubs and then knelt at the shrine to say a silent prayer. She daren’t speak aloud, Israfel got the distinct impression that Cullen’s ears were for more than just show. In her mind, Israfel spoke of her strange guests, of wistful plans for the future and how Jared was doing. I’ll speak to you soon Mum, she said wordlessly, placing a hand on the stone. The surface had been basking in the sunlight and it warmed her hand as she used it to help her stand back up then made her way back to Cullen.

Picking a small purple flower, she held it out to him along with an empty jar. “Can you fill the jar with these ones please, I’ll get the rest.”  
Cullen plucked the flower out of her hand, fingers brushing hers and held it up to his nose, inhaling deeply, “No problem.”

Despite the way she had held his hand earlier, the gentle touch of his fingers made her shiver. Her touch had been innocent, for guidance, but his was purposeful, almost as if he enjoyed teasing her.

Two pairs of hands made the work much quicker, Israfel was an expert after years of gathering and Cullen seemed worked from scent rather than sight, but it had the desired effect. The sun was high, it was midday, they had been out for a few hours, only a fraction of that had needed to be spent gathering. Israfel packed the jars away and took the lead heading home.

“Let’s hurry back, I couldn’t manage breakfast this morning, I’m starving!” She chirped.

Then she was stopped in her tracks, large arms snaked around her again, one around her waist, the hand coming to rest on her hip. His other hand came to a halt oh her chest, just above the swell of her breasts, her heart began pounding so hard she was sure he would feel it. He pulled her in, the hand on her hip gripping her dress, lifting it ever so slightly.

“I’m hungry too...” he purred in her ear, pushing himself against her.

Israfel swallowed hard, her body burning at his touch. Her thoughts travelled back to this morning, the unfulfilled desire she had felt. It was like he read her mind, the way held her, the way he panted gently behind her. How easy it would be to just say yes, to fall into his arms and let him take her. Was this how she was meant to spend her first time? Rolling around in the woods with a man she barely knew? Israfel felt as if her hear had stopped, he was more than she had ever dreamt about, so much more real than the men in her books... But then what? He would leave. Surely it was better to not know what he could do to her? He’d already given her so much to think about when alone in her room, he couldn’t light that fire more, she was already burning up. So hot...

“Cullen,” she whispered, “please stop this...”  
Instantly she was free. She found herself panting, leaning against a tree as her knees weakened.  
“Sorry, it’s just your scent gave me the impression that you were interested.” He ran a hand over his head, through his hair.  
“My scent?” Israfel blushed, “I don’t know what you mean...”  
“It's...” Cullen trailed off, his ears pricked up, tail bristled, “Shit!”

Before Israfel could ask what was wrong a flash of green lightning cut across the sky. Immediately Cullen bolted off in the direction on the farmhouse. Israfel tried to but couldn’t keep up, his trail was easy to follow though; it looked like it had been made by a stampeding animal rather than a man. Flowers and shrubs crushed, young trees snapped and uprooted. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, panic rising up inside, unable to even begin to understand what would make him react that way. Finally she saw the edge of the Wilds and the rolling fields that led home. Israfel burst through the treeline and skidded to a halt. The sky was filling with black smoke, a plume of it rising from the farmhouse. The breath caught in her lungs, as she tried to understand what was happening. Her home... Israfel stepped forward only to be stopped a hand across her chest, claws threatening to dig into her.

“Careful.” An almost familiar figure growled.

Cullen was hunched forward leaning on his free hand, all his hair, fur stood on end. Every breath came out with a snarl, his lips drawn back over his teeth which looked even sharper. His eyes, now yellow, were staring intently ahead, prowling the fields were great black beasts, masses of muscle and sinew, sharp white teeth contrasting against their dark flesh, sharp claws ripping up the ground as they walked. Israfel only glanced at them briefly, all her attention as on the burning husk of her home. The flames roared black with flecks of Lisara’s green mixed in. She tried to focus, to listen out but it was so loud, nightmarish notes filled her mind. So loud. 

“Focus.” She whispered to herself. It wasn’t working, the noise was still deafening. 

Israfel placed a hand on Cullen’s arm, drawing on his essence, his song erupted to life in her head, it was surprisingly calm, focused, it drowned out the monsters. Though she stared straight ahead, she noticed the shocked look on Cullen’s face as he turned to look at where she touched him. Her father had always told her to be discreet, not to pull on the essence around her, only to listen. But as her home stood in front of her burning, now wasn’t the time for discretion, she was desperate to hear her father’s familiar song. Lisara’s hum grew louder, she couldn’t see her anywhere but could feel her getting closer.

“Focus.” She said louder.

She closed her eyes, pushing everything else aside, all other songs reduced to background noise. 

Silence.


	4. Chapter 4

The air reeked of death. Cullen screwed his nose up at it, cursing his heightened senses. Israfel stood just behind him; her sweet, earty scent being smothered by the miasma of decay around them. His eyes transfixed on the beasts before him, these were the same creatures that had wounded him so severely only a few days ago. From his count, ten of them roamed the fields and farm ahead, their master must be nearby though, no way Lisara would have summoned her Sky Shattering Spear for mere minions. Cullen cursed himself, his essence was still recovering from the last battle, he might be able to take one or two on, but the rest would come quickly. He wouldn’t be able to keep Israfel safe and deal with them all. The familiar sickening feeling of being unable to protect those around him threatened to overwhelm him. He wanted to run, flee deep into the Wilds and let his exaltation claim him, give into his wolven aspect and lose himself to his bestial nature. Or perhaps run into battle, not caring this time he would surely die. Either option would be a blessed relief, an escape from himself. But his eyes were drawn to Israfel, the tiny woman stood beside him, trembling. She shouldn’t suffer because of his inadequacies. 

“Focus.”

The quiet whisper interrupted his chain of thought. Focus? He looked to Israfel who stared ahead intently, trying to figure out what she was doing. Then he felt it, her small hand on his arm. His eyes widened in shock, was she an Exalt too? Cullen could feel her pulling on his essence, trying to draw from his power. No she smelt human, felt human. Essence sensitive then?

“Focus.”

Her voice was louder, more determined now. Her grip on his arm tightened, her essence pulled harder. Then as quickly as she had taken hold of him, she let go, the break in physical contact breaking her link with his essence. 

“I can’t hear him...” She turned to face him, “I can’t hear him!” Her voice edging on hysteria, tears starting to fill her eyes.  
Cullen stood up to his full high and placed his hands on her shoulders “Israfel you’re not making sense. You need to calm down and be quiet.” He was painfully aware of how close they were to a battlefield, how easy she could attract their attention if she lost control.  
More tears welled up in her eyes, “But I can always hear him, it’s too loud here! We have to find Dad!”  
Tightening his grip on her shoulders, he shook his head. “You go back to the grove, I’ll try and find him.”  
“No.” The voice that replied wasn’t Israfel’s, it was cold, mechanical, devoid of any humanity.

Lisara had appeared just behind Israfel, hand raised she struck the young woman on the back of her head. Israfel collapsed forward into his arms, unconscious. His mother stood there, mouth and nose bloody, eyes flaring green. Her right hand was scorched black, molten green flowed through the cracks in her flesh. Here she was, the Lisara he hated seeing, the charms she used in battle pushing her humanity away, the side of her that was more robot than human risen to the surface. Her ‘clarity’, she called it.

“We have to go.” Her voice droning, emotionless.  
“Lisara what are you doing? You could have killed her!” He snarled at her, taken back by his own protectiveness of Israfel.  
“She will be easier to transport in this state.” Lisara said, crossing her arms.  
“Transport? What’s going on?”  
“She will be easier to move now. If she were hysterical it would make our escape harder.” She cocked her head to the side, “I assume you would not want to leave her here.”

Cullen looked to the burning farmhouse, understanding on some level what Israfel had meant when she said she couldn’t hear him. Jared must have perished in the attack. His heart sank, poor girl, only last night she’d confided to him about her loneliness, now she was even more alone. His own sorrow threatened to creep up, but he pushed it down. There was a bottle waiting for him at home so he could go back to wallowing in misery. Now wasn’t the time.

“You are not able to fight to your full capabilities.” Lisara turned and began to walk away, “We must go.”  
Hoisting Israfel up, Cullen slung the woman over his should and took one last look at the burning remains of the farm before catching up to his mother. The pair then broke into a sprint, taking a wide berth to avoid detection, Cullen just managing to keep up with Lisara’s effortless speed.

~~~

The world was going by in a blur, the wind roared in her eyes. She felt sick and groggy, the arm the held her down putting am uncomfortable pressure on her already weakened stomach. Where was she? What happened? She looked down to see tail trailing behind the person carrying her, it whipped about furiously in the wind. Cullen...

“Cullen!” she shouted over the roar of the air rushing around them.

It all came flooding back, drawing on his essence, the heat from the fire, the deafening noise, then.. then the silence she had felt.

That overwhelming silence.

Bile rose to her throat. The motion of being carried so quickly alongside her memory flooding back made her nausea hit her harder, “Cullen stop! I’m gonna be sick!”

They skidded to a halt and she was lowered to the ground. Israfel collapsed to her knees, retching, bile and spit spilling out onto the floor. She could feel one of Cullen’s large hand come to rest on her back, gently stroking her as she continued to retch, his other hand lifting her hair out of the way. When there was finally nothing left to bring up Israfel sat back onto her knees and wiped her mouth with her shaking hand. Cullen was squatting next to her, she turned to look at him; he was dripping in sweat, breathing heavily.

“You okay now?” He said in between breaths.  
Israfel swallowed hard, “He’s... “ The words threatened to get stuck in her throat, as if it would all become real if she said it. She pushed past it, words spilling from her mouth like the bile she had expelled, “He’s gone isn’t he?”  
Cullen nodded gently, “I’m sorry...”  
Tears welled up in her eyes, her voice breaking as she spoke, “Dad’s dead...”  
“Now is not the time for this.” Lisara stepped in front of Israfel. “This place is not safe.”  
“Are we being followed?” Cullen asked, Lisara shook her head in reply. “Then have some bloody sympathy and let us rest here. Israfel’s just lost her Dad and I’ve been running at full pelt for three hours. We need to stop.”  
“No.” Lisara’s voice was cold, lifeless. “This area is still dangerous. If you cannot run then we shall walk.”  
Cullen sighed and stood up, taking one of Israfel’s arms in his hand, he pulled her up with him. Her body felt numb, her legs were heavy as she began to walk in the direction Lisara had set off on.  
Cullen fell into step beside her, “I’m sorry about her, this is what I was telling you about earlier.”  
She felt his eyes on her but couldn’t reply.  
“I’m sorry for everything.” He said softly.

She couldn’t speak. If she spoke she knew she would break. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, not like this, she said to herself. Only this morning she had daydreamt of leaving the farm with her new companions, but not like this... It was like some cruel joke.

~~~

They had been walking for hours, through dense forests and finally out into open ground. They passed the ruins of mining towns, long forgotten about since essence had been harnessed to power most of the world. The sun set as they entered another abandoned town. The three of them walked along an empty road as the rain began to fall, nothing was left in town other than the empty shells of buildings, the previous inhabitants taking everything with them when they had moved further inland. Israfel had remained silent, not daring to speak in case she broke down.

Reaching what must have been a town square, Lisara stopped them all and without turning to face them began speaking. “There is a Meruvian military base 206 miles from here.”  
On hearing the distance they still had to travel Israfel’s heart sank.  
“I can make it there by morning without you two slowing me down.” There was no emotion in her voice. “You will wait here. I will return with transport home.”

Before anyone could reply, Lisara shimmered with essence before vanishing out of sight. Her mechanical humming quickly growing quieter and quieter.

“Let’s go find some shelter, I’ve got a couple of rations left too.” Cullen said, gently leading Israfel to a nearby building. “I’ll take care of you okay?” He was looking at her as they walked, a weak smile on his face.  
“Cullen...” She felt the tears welling up again.  
“Come on,” he put an arm around her, “The roof doesn’t look like it will leak here, let’s get you some rest.”

Israfel sat in the corner, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She shook her head as Cullen offered her some food. She was so cold, everything hurt, but that was nothing compared to the miasma of emotions swirling around inside her. Fear, sorrow, anger... all of them kept crashing into her.

He sat down next to her and rested his head back on the wall. “I know what you’re going through Israfel; the shock, the pain. I get it.” He sighed. “It hurts so damn much that you just need something, anything to block it out. Like hunger, or walking so far that your legs go dead.” He looked at her, offering her a protein bar. She didn’t take it. “For me it’s alcohol and sex.” Another sigh. “Don’t fall into the same self destructive path I did, because it still fucking hurts and you fuck everything else up to.”  
Israfel remained silent, staring at her feet, tears quietly falling.  
He put his arm around her, pulling her into his warmth. “Just let it out.”

With that the floodgates opened, Israfel sobbed into his chest, her whole body shuddering with the effort. Her arms wrapped around him and her hands grasped at his clothes tightly as she buried her face into his shirt. Everything hurt, her feet bloodied and blistered, her head ached, her chest felt hollow. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, a sorrow so consuming she felt lost in it. Emptiness, loneliness, fear, anger, it all washed over her as she cried. For most of her life it had just been her and her Father, but it had all been taken away in an instant. No more quiet evenings drinking tea together, no more words of wisdom from him, no more teasing him for his terrible cooking. Never again would he hold her hand, giving her the strength she needed to face the day. How could she live without his comforting presence?

Tears fell until there were no more tears to cry.

Israfel pulled away just enough to see his face, “I’m sorry.” Her voice was weak.  
Cullen shock his head, “Don’t be.” He brushed her unkempt hair from her face, “Feel like eating something now?”  
“No...” Israfel sighed, “but give me something anyway.”  
She took the protein bar he handed her. It was stodgy and tasted of cardboard, exactly how she had imagined military rations would taste. She chewed it methodically before forcing herself to swallow, it sat like a brick in her empty stomach.  
“You’ll get fed much better when we get home.” Cullen said moments before devouring a bar in two bites.  
“I don’t have a home anymore.” She replied, putting her head into her hands, tears threatening to come back.  
Cullen swallowed the remaining food that had stuck to the top of his mouth, “Yeah, sorry... But you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like. I’m sure Lisara won’t mind, she wouldn’t have brought you along otherwise.”  
“Thanks.” She whispered into her lap before looking up to idly stare out the window. “I just can’t believe it’s all gone. My home... my family. I spent my entire life on that farm and now... nothing. It just feels so surreal, like some weird dream. I keep expecting to wake up to the smell of burnt bacon.”  
“Burnt bacon?” he asked her.  
“Yeah Dad is... was...” she corrected herself, “a terrible cook. I’m gonna miss burnt bacon and raw toast. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Her lip began to quiver, “When will it stop hurting?”  
Cullen sighed, “I don’t know. Some people say time will heal all wounds, others say it never stops hurting and that you just learn to cope with it better. I’m still waiting to find out which one it is.”  
“Hopefully we’ll figure it out soon.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “I wonder if this is how Dad felt when Mum died, he would always tell me how much he loved her.”  
“I don’t know Israfel, but at least they’re together again now.”  
“Thanks Cullen.” She paused and began to blush, “Will you hold me?” She just needed something, anything to make her feel less alone.  
Without hearing an answer, Israfel felt his arm around her waist for the second time today. She was pulled into his lap, his other arm wrapped around her and held her upper body close to his.  
“Are you going to sleep?” He has softly.  
“Everything keeps going around my head in circles, I don’t think I can sleep.” She shook her head against him, “Can we keep talking?”

She listened all night as Cullen just talked and talked. Stories about getting lost at a festival as a child because his parents were to distracted by each other, a steward that was looking after Cullen was going to buy an ice cream for him until Lisara found them and threw the man through a food stall for ‘daring to kidnap her child’. Or the time his Mum, Evelyn he said her name is, gate crashed one of his science lessons in school and proceeded to explain to his teacher, in front of the whole class, why everything she was teaching about essence as an energy source was wrong. Hours worth of stories about the oddities of having two eccentric (his words, not hers) Exalts as parents. It made her think about her own sheltered life, no school, the few friends she had made from the villages had all moved on. It was like they came from two different planets; she had read about his world but it had always seemed like a fantasy to her. Bustling, high rise cities, millions upon millions of people... where would she fit into it all?

“Cullen?” she asked weakly, interrupting a story about his old dog. The villages she used to visit had always seemed so loud to her, she had stopped visiting them unless she really had too. The sound of people’s songs mixing together had become to loud, too disorientating for her. How was she ever going to cope in a big city? Especially without her father’s song to focus on anymore. How would she cope without him?  
“Hmmm?” He looked down at her and smiled.  
Her tears started again, she grabbed Cullen’s shirt and buried her face into it, “I’m so scared!” she sobbed. She felt his tail wrap around her hips, pulling her boy flush with his, “It’s gonna be ok, we’ll take care of you.”

Large hands stroked her head as she continued to cry, sun starting filtering through the dirty window.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write a (short) action sequence for the first time ever. And I'm very proud of myself for making it this far without any smut. I really want to write smut though xD

“Shush, something is outside.”  
Immediately Israfel stifled her tears, “I thought we weren’t followed?” Her voice hushed and shaky, panic beginning to swell inside her.  
“It doesn’t smell like the things from before.” He stood up causing Israfel to slide off his lap onto the floor and inhaled deeply, “It’s something else.”  
Israfel tried to listen out, but the resonance of Cullen’s song drowned everything out. “It’s not an essence user.”  
“Maybe not,” He sniffed the air again, “but it still reeks of blood. Stay here.”  
She stood up and grabbed his sleeve, “Don’t leave me alone!” Anxiety rising inside her, she couldn’t be alone right now. She felt as if she needed someone next to her just to give her the strength to even breathe.  
Cullen sighed, “Just stay back ok? And if things get rough go hide.”

Israfel nodded and followed alongside Cullen, holding on tightly to his sleeve as he made his way outside. The morning was fresh and bright, the wetness of last nights raid burnt away by the sun. Stepping outside there were no sounds of nature to be heard, what she could hear though was the sound of rubble being push aside, crushed and hissing as if a gas line had been broken.

“It’s coming.”

Cullen’s arm was held out protectively in front of her, he glowed with silver essence. Fur began to grow on his hand, fingernails extending into long sharp claws, the flesh and bone of his face contorting into a furred muzzle. He was snarling, rows of sharp teeth on display. Then it appeared, slithering around the corner of a nearby building. An enormous snake appeared before them, raising up to it’s full height when it spotted the pair, taller than the building it was next to. It’s dark green scales reflected the sunlight, it’s black eyes narrowing as it focused on Israfel and Cullen. A forked tongue slipped out of its mouth, then it’s great maw opened, huge fangs the length of Israfel’s forearms, dripped with a viscous liquid.

Cullen broke away from her, bounding towards the great snake. In turn, the snake hissed before slithering towards Cullen with surprising speed for a creature of it’s size. It lunged at Cullen, fangs bared, but he dodged to the side, the creatures bite tore into the concrete. Cullen then pounced, claws and teeth tearing into the creatures hide, blood spraying from the wounds, glistening scales falling to the floor. The creature flailed around, rubble from where it dislodged it’s fangs flew into the air, it whipped it’s body back and forth, Cullen flew to the right, thrown off. He smashed into a nearby house, the force of it causing the building to collapse around him, burying him under the rubble.

Israfel froze as the creature turned it’s attention to her, it’s movements slow, calculating, threatening. Closer and closer it came, forked tongue sniffing her out. She couldn’t run, her legs felt like they were made of lead, her heart pounded in her chest. This is it, she thought to herself, I’m going to die here, in a place like this..

The snake reared up before her, maw open, the viscous liquid dripping from it’s fang melting the concrete it landed on. It’s tail flicked around, coming roaring towards Israfel at tremendous speed. She screamed, holding her arms up defensively ii front of her, a pointless effort to try and stop the creature the force of the blow would no doubt kill her. But the tail never connected, with her scream she felt a rush of her essence, a great boom echoed around her and the snakes tail exploded into a cloud of blood, bone and sinew.

It threw it’s head back, roaring in pain, then in a flash of silver, Cullen appeared, scaling the beasts body. His claws tearing into it’s flesh as he climbed up it’s back onto the nape of it’s neck. One of his massive hands took hold of the creatures upper jaw, his other arm reached under it’s head and found purchase on its lower jaw. Planting his feet firmly on it’s head, Cullen pulled back spreading the creatures jaw wider and wider. It thrashed about, trying to throw Cullen off again, but he roared, his essence shining like a beacon around him. Then there was a loud crack as it’s jaws ripped apart, a fountain of blood erupted from it’s mouth covering Israfel as the creature fell limp, crashing into the ground. Cullen was sick with blood, he threw his head back, howling, flesh still hanging from his jaws. His sharp eyes focused on Israfel.

She dropped to her knees, shaking, adrenaline overloading her system, “Cullen?” She said, stammering, terrified of the beast he had become.  
He walked towards, a furred, bloodied hand held out to her, “You okay?” His voice was soft, it rumbled through the air, giving her some comfort. Despite the appearance, it was still Cullen.  
Tentatively she took his hand, noticing her own arm was dripping in blood. All she could do was nod in reply as he hoisted her to her feet.  
“That was pretty impressive, whatever that was. You’ll have to tell me all about it.” Cullen’s ears twitched, “But later, I think our ride is here.”

~~~

Israfel could feel herself trembling, the roar of the aircraft thunderous in her ears despite the ear plugs she wore. She was streaked with dried blood, her hair matted with clots. Lisara had mercifully offered her a set of clean clothes, combat fatigues, to change into. The trousers too big on her waist, too tight on her hips, too long on the legs, the shirt was itchy. Her lower back ached from the uncomfortable seat, nothing more than canvas stretched over a metal frame. This was not like the glamourous flight she had read about, no luxurious seats with complimentary champagne. It was a working aircraft, loud and uncomfortable.

Cullen had apologised to her as they boarded, explaining it would be a terribly boring flight for her. Both him and Lisara would have to spend most of the flight meditating, something he had told her Exalts needed to do to replenish their essence. She glanced to Cullen, he was back to looking human, his dark eyes closed, his coppery skin stained with blood, long hair even more matted than before. He was so still, his ears didn’t twitch at the sounds of the engine, his tail was motionless, even his breathing was shockingly slow. He had to meditate on the floor, his large frame to big for these tiny seats.

Lisara sat opposite her, she had removed her shirt, only wearing a black crop-top underneath, her combat trousers replaced with shorts. Israfel now understood what Lisara had meant when she described her hand as ‘the tip of the iceberg’; it wasn’t just her hand but her whole arm that was artificial. Both her legs matched her arm; black metal with armoured plates that slide over each other with incredible precision as she moved. But for the moment she sat as still as a statue, a deep frown painted on her face. Her long black hair, shaved at the sides, hung limply, obscuring half of her face. Despite that it was easy to tell she was Cullen’s mother, they shared the same features; a high straight forehead, a long aquiline nose and dark almond shaped eyes. The only thing that didn’t match was their skin tone.

The intercom crackled loudly, causing Israfel to cover her ears at the sudden sound. Cullen’s ears twitched and one of Lisara’s eyes opened just enough to see the glow of her essence. A voice distorted with static announced that they were about to begin their descent. The aircraft lurched as it suddenly changed direction, no longer travelling forwards, but down instead. Israfel groaned as her stomach churned, she reached for a bag that had been left with her after her messy reaction to the take off, bile and spit spewed forth, mercifully contained this time.

“You need a stronger stomach.”  
Israfel looked up from her bag, Lisara’s eyes were fully opened and focused on her, “Sorry... sorry...” she managed in between retches.  
Cullen had made his way ever too her, stooping down to avoid hitting his head on the roof, his hands intertwined in her hair, lifting out of the way, once again. “It’s no different than my first flight Lisara.”  
Lisara frowned, “You were a child.”  
“Not everyone is raised in a military family, plus these things shake all over the place and change direction at the drop of a hat.” He squatted down in front of Israfel. “It won’t be long now. You okay?”

Israfel shook her head, she felt like she would never be okay again, for the last two days she had been in a near constant state of pain and nausea, but that was nothing compared to the loneliness that consumed her. An all encompassing darkness that threatened to snuff out the light inside her. She was alone. Cullen and Lisara were kind, but they had been in her life less than a week, less than two days really, considering Cullen was unconscious for most of it and Lisara had barely spoken. It had all happened so suddenly, uprooted from her home, carted halfway across the world with the strangers, never able to see her Father again, how could she ever be okay? 

Israfel looked at Cullen, her stomach beginning to settle as she adjusted to the descent, “I’m sorry for being such a pain.”  
He was shaking his head, “Please don’t apologise, I know how rough this all is. We’re gonna try and make this all as easy as possible for you. Right Lisara.”  
Lisara stopped mid stretch, her spine bent at an impossible looking angle. “Huh? Oh yeah. We’re indebted to you, anything you ever want or need, it’s yours.”  
She was about to respond, she felt the tears forming as she wanted to ask to go home, for things to be the way they were before, for Jared to be okay, but her stomach lurched again as the plane bounced to a halt.  
“See, told you it wouldn’t be long.” Cullen extended a hand to her, “Welcome to Meruvia.”

Israfel took his hand, it didn’t give her the same strength her fathers hand did, but it steadied her as she was guided down the ramp the aircraft’s opening hull formed.

“Lisara!” A high voice yelled out.

The woman that bounded towards them, towards Lisara, was shorter than Israfel, her skin an even deeper shade Cullen’s, her black coily hair bounced as she ran, glasses slipping down her nose, long white coat trailing behind her and a shining golden sun etched into her forehead. Her features were a stark contrast to Cullen and Lisara's sharp angles; soft, plump lips, a wide, short nose, big round eyes. Her song was bright, elevated and joyous.

She rushed into Lisara’s open arms, “We lost communication! I was so worried about you!”  
Lisara started to stroke the woman’s hair, “Everything’s fine Evelyn, we just ended up a lot further out than expected.”  
The smaller woman then noticed Israfel and Cullen looking at her, she pulled away from Lisara, composing herself before storming over. She held her hand up, and orange interface appearing around it. “You’ve been hurt.” She tapped the interface with her other hand, “Though someone patched you up well.” Her attention turned to Israfel. “Was it you?” She asked, warmth radiating from her voice and song.  
Israfel nodded, unable to speak due to the nausea that still plagued.  
“Yeah. Mum, this Is Israfel.” Cullen said still holding her hand. “She’s gonna be staying with us for a while if that’s alright.”  
Evelyn pushed her glasses up her nose, “Unbelievable. You were out on official business and yet still somehow manage to bring yet another woman home with you.”  
Israfel felt her cheeks redden.  
“It’s not like that.“ Lisara said putting an arm around Evelyn, “Cullen, show Israfel to one of the guestrooms to get washed up. I’ll explain everything to Evelyn.”  
The two woman walked off, arms around each other, leaving Israfel alone with Cullen.  
“Let’s go find you a room then.” Cullen said as he began to lead Israfel.

The grounds of the home were huge, half stately home, half military base. Finely pruned gardens interrupted with prefabricated buildings. Men and women dressed in the same uniform Israfel now wore moved busily around them, nodded respectfully to Cullen as he passed.

“You live with all these people?” Israfel asked.  
“No, they work here. I mean there’s barracks for them to stay but this isn’t their home. Lisara and Evelyn do so much work for the military that it just made sense to set up base here.” He led her around a corner, “This is home.”

Israfel gasped, this ‘home’ was enormous, the building itself was easily the size of one of the villages she used to visit. A flight of steps led up to the massive double doors, lined with marble statues of different people, in all eras of dress. Everything was shining and clean, not a stray leaf or blade of grass out of place.

“It’s incredible! It’s so well taken care of! How old is it all?” Israfel said in amazement.  
“Actually it’s all a replica, Lisara’s original ancestral home was destroy in a war. She just finished having it rebuilt when I was born.” Cullen replied.  
Israfel followed him up the steps to the stately manor at a loss for words.  
“It’s ridiculously big for the three of us.” He opened the door and stepped inside, “It will be nice to have someone else staying here.”

All Israfel could do was gawk as she stepped inside, the interior was even more lavish than outside. Walls lined with great works of art, floors of polished marble, gilded wallpaper hung from the walls, everywhere she looked there was a piece of ornate furniture or precious artefact. She had never even dreamed of seeing such finery, let alone living with it.

“Don’t worry, where we stay is a lot more homely,“ Cullen guided her up the bifurcated staircase, “this is all for show.”

Israfel’s feet cried out in pain as she ascended the staircase, she struggled to keep up with Cullen even though he was clearly pacing himself for her. She fumbled her way up two flights of stairs, clinging to the banister for dear life. Cullen escorted her through yet more opulent corridors until they came to a halt at a heavy looking door. It had multiple camera pointed at it and a computer panel jutting out of the wall. Culled placed his hand on the screen, it beeped positively before the door hissed and slowly swung open.

The corridor beyond was still well decorated, but less... showy. The floor was carpeted with a lush, soft spread, the walls painted a soft cream, photos hung on the walls. As she walked passed she could spot Cullen in some, but there were many faces she didn’t recognise either. Some were soldiers, some were clearly other Exalts, others... she didn’t have words to describe the robes they wore or the vibrant colours. Birthdays, weddings, all manner if celebrations commemorated on these walls.

“Your family is so big!” She said in awe.  
Cullen stopped beside her as Israfel studied a photograph of him and his parents. “It used to be, now it’s just the three of us. Mum has a twin, but they and Lisara don’t get along so we don’t see them often.” He pointed to the photograph. “That was my graduation day, the last day of school.”  
Israfel studied the picture, Cullen was still incredibly tall but no where near as bulky, his hair had the same curls as Evelyn’s, he was lacking his ears and tail too. “You can really tell that you’re their child there.”  
Cullen laughed, “Do I not look like it anymore?”  
“You just look different there, you were a lot smaller then.” Israfel replied.  
He tapped his nose, “My body changed a lot after I Exalted.”  
Israfel winced, knowing what a touchy subject this was.  
Cullen clearly uncomfortable changed the subject, “Come on let’s get you showered, we both stink.”

The room she was shown to was comfortable and homely, the bed looked soft and plush, bigger than she was used to. She was grateful as Cullen showed her around the room and attached bathroom, she felt like a bumpkin not understanding the intricacies of the electrical devices or plumbing, two things her previous home lacked. She stood in the shower for what felt like an hour, washing away the accumulated blood and dirt from the last few days. Tears flowed with the water, silently as she was too exhausted to sob, running dow her face as the shower washed the filth away. Pain, exhaustion and sorrow enveloping her in the same way the warm water did.

When she finally gathered the strength to leave the shower, Israfel sat herself down on the bed. Her plan had been to dry herself, get dressed in the clothes that had been left for her and go learn more about her surroundings, but as she sat down and the soft mattress enveloped her, Israfel found herself giving in to the exhaustion. She laid back and let sleep finally take her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mention of sexual assault

A knocking at the door suddenly awoke Israfel, she was sprawled out on the bed, the towel that had been wrapped around her had now fallen loose.

“Israfel, can I come in?” It was Cullen’s voice.  
She jumped up, “Just a minute!” hurriedly putting on the clothes that had been laid out for her.

The black leggings she wore seemed too tight, obscenely so, the t-shirt so large it hung off one shoulder, the underwear she felt she would burst out of any second, clearly the previous owner was much smaller framed than her. Slowly, Israfel opened the door and before she could say anything, Cullen had invited himself in and sat down on her bed.

Israfel held her arms across her body self consciously, “Yes Cullen?”  
He patted the bed beside him, “I said we should talk later, you feel up for it now?”  
She walked passed him, choosing a seat near the window instead. Hoping he didn't notice how unseemly these clothes made her look. “What did you want to talk about?”  
He repositioned himself on the bed to face her, “Well first off I just want to know if you’re okay? Silly question I know all things considered.”  
“Sometimes I’m ok, but other times it just hits me again.” She said, hugging herself.  
“Yeah, I heard you got a bit upset on the flight here.” He shuffled closer to her. “Sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”  
Israfel shook her head, “It’s okay, you’ve all done so much for me. It’s a little overwhelming.”  
“Can I... can we do anything else to make things easier for you?” He shuffled to the side of the bed to face her properly. “I know this is all so new and different for you. Anything you need and it’s yours.”  
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “Would some clothes that fit be too much to ask?”  
Cullen laughed, “I’ll take you shopping tomorrow if you like.”  
“Thanks.” Israfel frowned at Cullen. “This isn’t what you wanted to talk to me about though, is it?”

She heard the mood change, his song had been light, but shifted to a more methodical, reserved rhythm now. Cullen leant towards her, fingers interlaced, his face dropped into a serious frown.

“I’m curious about your essence.”  
Israfel wrapped her arms around herself defensively. “I don’t know what you mean.”  
“Come on Israfel, I’m not stupid.” He snapped.  
She was taken back by his harshness, “Cullen...”  
He sighed, “Sorry, but maybe we can help you.”  
It was her turn to frown, “I’ve managed on my own before.”  
Cullen let out a single laugh, “So you admit there is something going on with your essence then.”  
Dammit, she thought to herself, “I... I don’t know much about it honestly.” She looked away from Cullen, “Dad never really explained anything to me, he just told me to keep it hidden. That I could listen but nothing more.”  
Cullen cocked his head to the side, “Listen?”  
“All essence has a song of some kind. Yours is like an orchestra playing its way through a symphony, it changes with your mood. Dad’s...” She rubbed her temples, “his was an acoustic guitar, strumming along gently. I could almost always hear his, only The Wilds drowned it out until...”  
“I’m sorry,” he reached out and put a hand on hers, “you don’t have to do this.”  
“It’s ok,” Israfel replied, smiling weakly, “I don’t really know how much more I can say on it all really. The thing that happened with the snake, nothing like that has ever happened before. I don’t even know what I did. I never Exalted. I didn’t even know what an Exalt was until I met you.”  
“Maybe Mum can help figure it out. She’s an expert on essence and Exalts.” He stood up, “Food’s almost ready, you could chat to her about it over dinner.”  
Israfel’s stomach rumbled at the mention of food, “It might be a heavy topic for dinner, but food sounds like a good idea.”

~~~

Dinner had been served in a simple kitchen diner, that reminded Israfel painfully of her own. She was surprised to find the Evelyn had cooked and at the sheer amount of food prepared. Bowls of different rice dishes, meats and fish in a variety of sauces, breads, fried vegetables and more covered the table. Israfel had tried to taste a little of everything but barely made it halfway through the spread before giving up, Cullen had eaten more that she thought possible even for someone of his size while Lisara only picked at her food much to Evelyn’s dismay. Conversation was clearly cautious, great care was taken by Evelyn not to ask Israfel about recent events, Lisara must have explained everything before she joined them. Both Evelyn and Lisara had glared at Cullen as he had helped himself to his first glass of wine, then the second, third and fourth until he had drunk a whole bottle. She remembered him mentioning alcohol before when he spoke of his own experience of loss, clearly it was still seen as an issue by his family. Israfel also learnt where Cullen got his flirtatious streak from, many times over the course of the meal Lisara had leant in close to Evelyn, whispered something into her ear, resulting in a tremendous blush. A lump formed in Israfel’s throat, this was all so unlike the quiet meals she shared with her father, but being round such a warm family unit still hurt. It wasn’t their fault, the wounds were so fresh right now.

Quickly, Israfel excused herself from the table, not giving anyone a chance to object as she hurried out of the room. She tried to retrace the steps the Cullen had taken her, desperate to get back to her room but all the corridors and doors looked the same. Realising she was well and truly lost, Israfel set herself down on the floor and brought her knees up to her chest. But before the tears could come she felt someone settle down now to her.

“Wanna talk about it?”

It was Cullen’s soft voice.

Israfel sighed, “There’s nothing else to say. I’ll just be repeating myself.”  
She felt Cullen’s arm around her shoulder as he replied to her. “That’s ok, you can repeat yourself a thousand times to me and I won’t mind.  
“Listening to you all talk just made me think about the last conversation I had with Dad.” She blushed, “It was weird and awkward. Not the goodbye it should have been.”  
Cullen pulled her closer, “You can still say goodbye, I’m sure he’s listening.”  
“I keep talking and thinking about saying it” she held her knees tightly, “but I don’t even know if I’m ready to yet.”  
“It’s been less than three days Israfel, still early. You have plenty of time to say it.” He said softly.  
Israfel sighed and stood up, “I think I need to be alone for a bit, will you show me where my room is?”  
Cullen stood up, towering over her, “It’s this way, you weren’t far off.”  
She followed Cullen through the corridors, until he stopped outside an unfamiliar door. He turned to look at her and placed a large hand on her shoulder. It was heavy, warm, comforting.  
“This is my room. If you ever don’t want to be alone, anytime day or night...” His voice was soft and inviting.

Maybe joining him in his room would be better than being alone, she thought to herself. A blush spread across her cheeks again. He was so comforting, how much more comfort could she gain from him? Maybe he could help her forget, for at least a few hours, she mused.

“Israfel,” he took his hand off her shoulder, “you’re Dad would be proud of you, not falling for the sweet words of a guy like me.”  
Her eyes widened, he had heard their last conversation! Her blush deepened and she stammered, at a loss for words.  
“You room is that one there,” he pointed a few doors away, “it’s not far if you need me. I’ll come get you tomorrow to take you out for some new clothes.”

~~~

Cullen leant against the door and sighed heavily, her blush got under his skin so much. He could feel his trousers growing tight as her image formed in his mind. He could see her beneath him, flushed, he imagined the redness creeping down her neck onto her ample breasts. What noises could he tease out of her as she blushed, he wondered. Would her moans be high pitched or low and guttural, would she scream for him?

His trousers grew uncomfortably tight.

Rubbing his temples, Cullen sighed and walked into his bathroom.

This is so wrong, he thought as he stared at himself in the mirror, she’s just lost her father, lost everything and here he was imagining himself taking advantage of her. He turned the shower on, switching the dial to the coldest setting. He remembered that time in the woods just before everything went to shit, how soft and warm she felt against him, and how she had asked him to stop. That was the crux of it really, she wasn’t interested in him. He knew when to back off.

Cullen groaned as he stepped into the freezing cold water, cursing himself and his weakness.

Maybe I should try and find one of the new maids to hook up with, he said to himself, that might distract me from Israfel... He sighed, remembering the countless women he’d taken to bed, not his own, his room was private, that’s what the guest rooms were for. None of them had made him feel better, every encounter just hollowed him out even more. All he wanted was to find comfort and meaning in someone else’s arms again, but no one had ever been able to replace her...

~~~

Israfel winced as the needle broken her skin, she watched blood fill the tubes. Her hand was going numb from the tourniquet, she wiggled her fingers. Cullen had come to her that morning, apologising that he wouldn’t be able to take her out today as Lisara wanted him to come to the capital with her for a debriefing. He promised he would try and find something more suitable for her to wear while he was gone though.

“Keep still please, I’m nearly done.” Evelyn said coolly.  
“Sorry.” Israfel said, holding herself still, “What are these for?”  
Evelyn held up a vial of blood to the light, “General heath checks. Plus I can learn a lot about how your body uses essence from these samples. Cullen and Lisara had a few interesting things to say about you.”  
“I’m sure they did.” She winced again as the needle was removed and Evelyn applied pressure.  
Evelyn removed her gloves and pushed her glasses up her nose, “If you have more to add I’d be very interested in hearing it.”  
Israfel shrugged, “I honestly don’t know much about it. It’s something I’ve always heard. I never tried to push things passed that, Dad told me not too.”  
“I hate to ask about him,” Evelyn said tenderly, “but could he hear it too?”  
She shook her head.  
“What about your mother?”  
“I don’t know, I hardly remember her.” She replied.  
“I’m sorry Israfel.” Evelyn placed a hand on hers, “It’s not much of a substitution but me and Lisara are here for you. We owe so much to you for helping Cullen come back to us."  
Israfel smiled in reply.  
“Honestly that man is a handful but he’s my son, I don’t know what I would do without him.” Evelyn frowned at her, “I don’t want to speak ill of him, nor do I want to make any presumptions about you... but I think you need to be careful around him”  
“Wha... what?” Israfel stammered  
“You’re vulnerable right now, I don’t want him to take advantage you. He’s slept with most of the staff here,“ Evelyn was blushing and avoiding eye contact, “I just don’t want him to hurt you on top of everything else you’ve been through.”

So he was a brief encounter type of man, she was pleased she hadn’t given into him.

Israfel frowned, she heard Cullen’s song roaring, furious before she heard the yelling. Lisara’s usual hum was gone, it was screeching in reply.

“You’re a fucking psychotic bitch!” Cullen yelled in his deep voice.

Israfel and Evelyn both stuck their head out of the door. Lisara and Cullen were stood either side of it, essence visibly flaring around the pair. Cullen turned heel and started storming off down the corridor while Evelyn slipped out of the room and over to Lisara. She grabbed her wife’s face, pulling her in for a kiss before Lisara could continue the argument. Instantly Lisara’s essence retreated, tension dropped from her body. Yet another blush spread across Israfel’s face, the kiss had de-escalated the situation so quickly, she now felt like she was intruding on a deeply private moment as the couple continued. She went off after Cullen, he had done so much for her in the last few days, perhaps it was her turn to be there for him.

She followed the sound of his song, it flittered between deep sombre notes and erratic chords, it led her to his room. She tentatively knocked on the door.

“Fuck off Lisara!” his voice roared, barely muffled by the barrier between them.  
“Cullen it’s me.” She placed a hand on the doorknob, “I’m coming in alright?”  
Silence.

Israfel entered the bedroom, the walls were covered in smashed photoframes filled with pictures of his younger self with another woman. The mirror on his dressing table was smashed beyond use too. Empty bottles and cans were placed on any surface they could be. The curtains were shut, and from the dust on them she could tell they hadn’t been opened in a long time. Cullen was hunched over the edge of the bed, head in his hands. His usually perky ears turned back, facing down.

She sat next to him, “Talk to me Cullen.”  
“She’s a fucking bitch.” He whispered, his tail twitched angrily.  
“You said that already. Tell me what’s happened.” Israfel said softly.  
Cullen clenched his fists around his hair, “She always thinks she has the right to try and lecture me. Like she’s so high and mighty!”  
“I’m sure she’s only trying to help...”  
“She... she told me it was time to get over it...” He blurted out with a sob.  
His tears shocked Israfel, he was actually crying. “Get over what?”  
Cullen laid himself back on the bed and stared at the celling, tears still in his eyes. It was a few minutes before he spoke again. “God it fucking hurts still... Her name was Felicity. I met her at college, it was love at first sight. She was so strong and beautiful, funny and smart.” Tears rolled down his face. “She was the first person that liked me for me, Felicity didn’t care about my family or wealth, she never asked me for anything other than my company. The years just flew by with her, we had our own place to live, we got engaged, it was all so perfect.” He rolled onto his side, facing away from her and continued. “It happened just over two years ago, I can still see it all so clearly, feel it all. I came home from work and I just remember that sinking feeling as I saw the door broken down. It was like everything happened in slow motion, I remember the blood on the floor. I followed it..” His voice started to crack, “She was on the floor blood pooling around her head...” he started to sob in between words, “there were men all around her, one of them was on top...” His whole body began to shake, “on top of her... I don’t remember much else, I just saw red.” He rolled over onto his back and covered his face with his arm, “The next thing I remember was holding her, she was gone already, so cold...”  
“Gods Cullen...” Israfel could feel tears on her own face, his sorrow so profound. “I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s been two years but it still hurts like it only happened yesterday.” He sighed wearily. “I’ve tried to fill the void, tried to drown out the pain but nothing worked...”  
She turned to face him, his arms were across his chest now, his face red and damp, eyes watery and puffy as he laid on his back again.  
“Cullen...”  
“I don’t know how I’m meant to get over it.” He chewed his lip before carrying on, “Every time I look in the mirror I’m reminded of it; if I got home earlier, Exalted earlier, she would still be here...”  
Israfel shuffled onto the bed and knelt next to him, “Maybe more time is something we both need.”  
He sat himself up next to her, “Look at you,” he took her face in his hands, “You’ve literally just lost someone dear to you and I’m here making you cry.”

She wasn’t sure what took over her, she felt the redness on her cheeks, the warmth of his hands on herself, Israfel parted her lips, “Cullen...” she whispered as she leant forward, wanting to comfort him, wanting to be comforted by him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping and a bit of smut

Surely he was reading into this all wrong. It looked like she was leaning into him, with that infatuating blush on her face again. Her plump lips parted slightly, moist, inviting... No... He pushed himself away from her, letting go of her face, she had made it clear she didn’t appreciate his advances. He wasn’t going to ruin this newfound friendship by being pushy. He stood himself up, grateful that his face was still wet with tears, it hid the blush.

“You want some tea?” He asked her, desperate to distract himself.  
“Tea sounds good.” He noted a hint of sadness in her voice. “Cullen...”  
“Yeah?” He replied, busying himself in setting up a tray.  
He felt her small hand on his bare arm, her milky white skin contrasting with his. Her voice was soft, “I am sorry for what happened to you.”

Gods it fucking hurt. Why had he told her? Why drag it up? Nothing ended the pain, talking about had just rubbed salt into the wound. And yet that soft hand resting on him eased it slightly. Despite only knowing her a few days, there was something abut Israfel, her kindness, her honesty that was so comforting. It was easy just to bask in her warmth, let it wash over him and forget some of the hurt.

“Thanks.” He set the tray down, “I’m sorry for dropping all that on you.” Cullen sat down and indicated Israfel to join him. “You’re the first person I’ve ever spoken to about it. After it happened I just shut down, Lisara and Mum moved me back here, they really tried with me but I was so wrapped up in myself I couldn’t see the help they were offering. I drank a lot, I mean I still drink a lot, but it’s not as bad as it was. I hurt a lot of people, lost a lot of friends.”  
Israfel smiled at him while serving both of them, “We can help each other now though, we both know what it’s like.”  
“That sounds like a good plan.” He took a sip of it tea, she made it milky and sweet, “Speaking of plans, there’s still plenty of time left to take you out today.”  
“Take me out?” There was that blasted blush again.  
Cullen breath out deeply, trying to push thoughts of her aside, “I said I would take you shopping for clothes. You don’t look particularly comfortable in what you’re wearing.”  
“That would be nice, but...” she wrung her hands awkwardly, “I don’t have any money.”  
“It’s fine, I said I would take you, it’s my treat. Let’s go now while everything will be open.” Cullen said desperate to not be in his bedroom any longer with her.

~~~

Israfel stepped out of the car, her legs felt a bit weak but at least this vehicle didn’t make her travel sick like the plane did. There was a sea of cars surrounding them and rows of shops directly ahead, people walking passed them with handfuls of bags, most of them stared at Cullen, giving him a wide berth. There were so many people, so many songs. She covered her ears instinctively, despite knowing it would make no difference to the songs in her head.

“Hey Israfel,” the sound of his voice was muffled, “you alright?”  
His hand landed on her shoulder and his song burst through, drowning out the rest of the noise.  
“I am now.” She smiled at him, releasing his ears to take hold of his arm, “Is it alright if we go in like this? You song makes everything else quieter.”  
Cullen nodded and led her through the rows of cars into the shopping district.  
“It’s been a while since I’ve been out here, but I think I remember where there are some good shops.” He said as she was led on. “I think we should go get you some underwear first. I can’t imagine what you’ve been given fits that well.” He was looking straight a head as he spoke to her, she noticed a tinge of redness on his cheeks.

They reached their first destination, a small lingerie shop hidden away down a side road. An older woman frowned at the Israfel when they walked in.

“Yes?” Her voice was shrill, unimpressed.  
Israfel was pushed, Cullen nodding to her encouragingly, “I don’t know what I need, but I need some new things, can you help?”  
“I’m going to go wait outside.” He looked to the shop assistant, “ Let know when she’s sorted and I’ll cover it.”  
Israfel was left alone with the woman, she was still frowning.  
“It’s a good thing you came here. You clearly are in need of some expert help.”  
She started to blush, “Is it that bad?”  
The woman crossed her arms, “Nothing you’re wearing fits.”  
“I think this is his t-shirt, I guess everything else was his mums old things.” Israfel replied. “I lost everything in a fire...” she closed her eyes and swallowed.  
The woman instantly softened, “Let’s get you sorted out then, I’ll measure you up an then we can pick out some things for you. Maybe pick out something your friend will like too.” She winked at Israfel.  
Holding her hands up defensively, “It’s not like that!”  
“Well let’s make sure you get something pretty anyway.”

All measured up, Israfel was given a tour around the store. The two woman talked, Israfel explained how she ended up here with nothing to her name, the assistant expressing her sympathies with tenderness. Israfel’s choices were plain, simple and comfortable, mercifully she was allowed to wear one set right away.

“That al looks so much better.” The shop assistant had warmed up to Israfel, “Now I think you need to get these too.”  
Held up in front of her was a black lace bra, extra straps across the chest an back, along with what Israfel assumed was meant to be panties, though there was hardly enough fabric to cover anything. “It doesn’t look very comfortable.”  
“You’re not supposed to stay in it long enough for it to get uncomfortable.” The woman replied straight faced.  
“I said it wasn’t like that with him!” Israfel blurt out.  
The woman shrugged, “You’re having them. Every woman needs a pair like this.”

~~~

Israfel looked over the top of her coffee at Cullen, he was frowning at her. “What?”  
He tapped the table then indicated to the four bags around Israfel, “Is that all you really wanted?”  
She laughed, “I thought you were looking at me like that because you were mad I got so much stuff!”  
“So much?” Cullen chuckled, “You got 4 dresses and a pair of shoes.”  
Israfel took the last sip of her coffee and stood up, “It’s the same as what I used to have, though the material here doesn’t seem as hard wearing as my old clothes.”  
Cullen shrugged, “It’s fashion over function out here, unless you want to wear military gear all the time.”  
She screwed up her nose, “No thanks, none of it seemed to fit properly.”

Israfel notice Cullen looking at her, his eyes wandered up and down her body, coming to rest on the hem of the new dress she wore, just above her knees. She had worn her new clothes right away, a yellow and floral pattern dress that was buttoned all the way down, darted to perfectly pull in at her waist.

Shifting uncomfortably on the spot, Israfel interrupted whatever her was looking at and spoke, her voice meek, “Shall we get back?”  
“Huh?” Cullen looked up, “Oh yeah, if you’ve got everything you need.”

He picked up the bags for her and they began to walk slowly through the shopping centre side by side. Other shoppers would stop and stare at Cullen, it had been happening all afternoon, but he just walked on, looking straight a head as if he didn’t notice.

“Why is everyone looking at you?” Israfel asked.  
Cullen shrugged, “There aren’t that many Exalts in the world, let alone ones where the Exaltation is so obvious. People have always stared though, it used to be at Lisara when we were out, I just got used to it.” He glanced at her sideway, “You’re doing a lot better, you’re not holding on to me for dear life anymore.”  
Israfel blushed and looked away, “I just got a little more accustomed to the noise.”  
“Well that’s good, I was getting worried that it might have been a mistake bringing you all they way here.”  
Her heart sunk a little, “A mistake?”  
Cullen stopped walking, “Lisara wanted to leave you in one of the villages, but I thought they wouldn’t be safe so... I brought you along. I didn’t think about how such a drastic change might effect you.”  
She stopped to face him and smiled, “I’m glad you brought me. It might not be under the best circumstances but I did want to see the world.” She rocked on her heels, “Plus I feel like you and Lisara became such a big part of my life so quickly, I would have been pretty upset if you’d just left me somewhere.”  
He nodded at her, “As long as you’re okay. Anytime things do get too noisy though, feel free to grab onto me.”  
Her smiled widened even more, “I will do!”

~~~

Israfel threw herself down on the bed, stuffed from another huge dinner with her new family, exhausted from the tense atmosphere as Cullen and Lisara refused to speak to each other, still clearly bitter about earlier. She wiggled out of her dress without bothering to get up and kicked her shoes off. Then she slipped her underwear off, enjoying the coolness of the air-conditioning against her bare skin.

“Cullen...” she whispered, wondering what he had been thinking as he stared at her earlier.

Despite the cool air being cool enough to make her nipples puckered and sensitive, her body started to feel warm, heat spreading up from between her legs. She sighed, never before had she been so intimate with anyone. She had never shared a physical closeness like this with anyone before, nor had someone left her feeling so emotionally raw. He’s not interested in me, she told herself, he had stopped flirting with her, had avoided her stupid attempt at a kiss earlier. Still, the heat inside her welled up.

One hand found it’s way to her breast, she gasped as her soft fingers brushed the sensitive skin. She took the hard bead and rolled it in between her finger and thumb and moaned quietly, letting the feeling of desire well up inside her, her womanhood twitching between her legs. He other hand slide down her body, grabbing the soft flesh of her tummy as she pinched her nipple, her moan louder this time. Her hand travelled down further, between her fine hair, pausing just on the cusp of where she was most sensitive and gasped at the wetness she felt. Israfel pinched her nipple harder, teasing herself, furthering her desire. It was a dance she had done with herself many times before. Normally it was just romance books that brought this on, but now it was more focused, more intense.

“Cullen...” she moaned as she spread her legs, her hand exploring further until she moaned, finding her sensitive spot.

Rolling her nipple between finger and thumb, Israfel arched he back as she took her sensitive bud in between two fingers, gently rubbing it back and forth. Her mind wandered, imagining strong, rough hands taking hold of her, exploring deep inside her. Would he touch her in ways she had never been brave enough to touch herself? Another moan. She increased the pressure, rubbing harder and faster until her legs began to tremble and her body grew tense. Waves of pleasure hit her, throbbing through her, her body bucking at the sensation, heart pounding. A quiet whimper escaped her lips as womanhood fluttered.

Israfel rolled onto her side and grabbed a pillow, burying her face into it. She could feel hot tears dampening the soft fabric. She had felt desire before, but it was never directed at anyone, she had never thought of anyone in such a way, shame washed over her. Not only was he not interested in her, but he was still grieving for his lost love. She would have to forget about him no matter how hard that might be.

~~~

A few doors along Cullen stood in the shower, head pressed against the glass, his hard cock held firmly in his hand. In his head the image of Israfel in her new dress, her thick legs on show and curvy body hidden beneath it. He imagined pushing that dress up over her hips, her legs wrapping around him, the way she would gasp as he entered her. Cullen groaned as he stroked his cock, face flushed with desire and shame. The cold shower doing nothing to cool him down this time as his movements intensified. A rumble came deep from his throat as his desire spilled from him, cock throbbing.

“Fucks sake.” He whispered to himself, shame washing over him with the cold water. She’s grieving and she told you she’s not interested. How much of an arsehole can you be? He told himself.

He stepped out of the shower and caught a glimpse of himself in the shattered mirror. More shame. His body marred by scars, disfigured by the marks of his exaltation. The there was his build... despite his frame he hadn’t been able to save Felicity, even Israfel had suffered because of his weakness. If he hadn’t been injured, perhaps she would still be on her farm with her father. There was no way she would come to care for someone like him.


	8. Chapter 8

An exacerbated sigh escaped Cullen as he rummaged through the bottom of his wardrobe. He could have sworn he had a few bottles of vodka hidden down here, but they were no where to be found. Once again his parents had been in his room, like he was some naughty teenager and confiscated his alcohol. All he wanted was to be left alone, to wallow in his misery but he knew they wouldn’t trust him ever again...

Gods he needed a drink. Cullen sat back on his haunches and sighed again. Time to destroy that trust even more He knew where Lisara kept some drink, safely locked away for special occasions. Lumbering out of the room, Cullen navigated the maze of corridors heading towards the study where he knew he could find what he needed. But something made his ears twitch, his heightened sense of hearing picking up a soft, gentle voice singing. He followed it, curiosity outweighing his need to drink.

It was Israfel, sat in her usual chair in the living room. Normally she was flicking through the TV channels; learning about the world, she had told him. Or reading one of the sappy romance novels she seemed to enjoy so much. But today she was curled up in a ball, headphones on singing along to a vapid pop song. The words were irrelevant, unimportant; what hit him was the sweet cadence of her voice. Beautiful, soft. For a moment Cullen let his mind wander. Often he had thought of Israfel, of claiming her body, but today he entertained himself with thoughts of laying with his head in her lap as she sang sweetly too him. Then guilt hit him. Despite the numerous women he had slept with since Felicity’s death, there was something about fantasising about this kind of intimacy that felt like the ultimate betrayal. It had been two years, yet it still felt too soon. Cullen practically ran down the corridor, desperate to blot thoughts of Israfel out.

By the time the third bottle was nearly finished, the sweet embrace of unconsciousness began to claim him. It was taking more and more these days to get him to the point, but he was finally there. Then a tapping at the door brought him back. Consciousness slamming into him. Shit, he thought, Lisara much have found the broken wreckage of her cabinet. Grumbling, he got to his feet; he had been so close to a few hours relief just for that bitch to ruin it all. The room span as he got up, he rubbed his temples giving himself a moment to orientate himself. There was another tapping.

With enough force to knock some of the broken frames off of the wall, Cullen slung the door open. “What?” he snarled aggressively.  
It took him a moment, in his drunken state, to realise it wasn’t Lisara stood there. Instead it was Israfel, hand’s clasped to her chest, eyes red and watery. “S... sorry...” she stammered, “I’ll go...”  
“No...” Cullen lent against the doorframe, “I thought you were someone else.”  
Her voice was shaking, he prayed that and the tears weren’t from his drunken stunt. “Can I come in?”

What he wanted to say was no. He’d been avoiding her, as if she knew about his thoughts of her. He didn’t want to be in a room with her; it was confusing being so close to her. That and the mess that he buried himself in was shameful. Even though she had seen it before and not judged him. But looking at her there, so vulnerable, he couldn’t turn her away. He had left her much to her own devices this week and outwardly it looked like she had been coping, but her tears told another story. Grunting, Cullen stepped aside and she stepped in.

“I was gardening.” There was dirt smudged on her face, grass stains on her knees.  
Cullen walked slowly across the room, trying not to stumble and threw the clothes piled up on a chair to the floor, “Sit.” He grunted, “Talk to me.”  
She perched on the edge on the seat and waited for him to join her. “Evelyn thought it would be a good idea to do something for Dad.”  
That explained the tears. “Drink?” He asked as he reached to pour the remains of the bottle out. The shake of her head made him paused though; she didn’t need alcohol to get through this... Did he?  
“I miss him so much.” She put her head in her hands.  
Guilt hit him again, for the second time today. Now his thoughts were consumed by Israfel. He had promised to be there for her, to help her, make this easer. Instead he had gotten lost in himself and left her to suffer alone. “I’m sorry Israfel. I’ve been an arse.”  
She wiped her face, smudging the dirt further, “No, you don’t need me bothering you with my problem. Is should go...”  
Israfel went to stand up, but he grabbed her arm with on one his hands, stopping her. With the other he wiped the dirt from her face. A blush spread across her face. Gods she was cute... and sweet and kind. Never had he met someone as tender as her before, not since Felicity had someone made him feel so comfortable in himself. And considering how much he disliked himself these days, that was quite an achievement. “Don’t leave me.” Having her here was sobering, he could almost forget his own misery with her here.  
“You want me to stay?” Her smile lit up the room.  
“Tell me about your garden.”  
Her head cocked to the side, “You like gardening?”  
“I never used to,” he tapped his nose, “but since exalting my sense of smell got a lot better. I can really appreciate the flowers now.”  
The smile on her face widened, “Any favourites?”  
“Chrysanthemums. I like earthy smells with a hint of sweetness..” Just like her scent.  
“I was planting some of the herbs I had on me when we left the farm.” Her smile dropped a little. “But I’ll plant some chrysanthemums for you too.”

Her kindness overwhelmed him. Even with her own problems she could still find room in her heart for others. How sweet it would be to reside there with her. Maybe Lisara had been right, that it was time to move on, it didn’t mean he’d have to forget Felicity. She would want him to be happy...

Through the night they talked. Tears were shed and passions shared. Israfel opened up about her love of singing but had blushed furiously when he asked for a demonstration, hiding her face and refusing. In turn he talked about the passion he once had for his work as a fireman, how it had always been a dream of his since childhood. The joy it used to bring him to help others. She expressed the same joy, when she had been given the chance to treat wounds that weren’t fatal. But then her demeanour changed, how she felt inadequate learning there were Exalts like Evelyn who could heal with a simple touch.

He slowly sobered up, drinking tea and laughing with her about childhood stories. How different they both were, yet sat with her everything felt so right. At one point Lisara had burst in, her face had been contorted in rage, but she must have seen his smile as she backed down without a word.

The early hours of the morning rolled in. Israfel had fallen asleep in his chair, her neck crooked at an awkward angle. Gently, not to wake her, Cullen had lifted her up, putting her down in her own bed before returning to his own room. He opened the curtains, letting the light from the rising sun wash over him. Just sitting there feeling an odd sense of peace.

~~~

It was the first morning of the new week when Israfel was woken buy a tapping at her bedroom door. She climbed out of bed and wrapped a robe around herself to answer the door.

Cullen was stood there in combat fatigues, “Hey, can I come in?”  
Israfel pulled the robe tighter around her and stepped aside, “Sure, what’s up? Why are you dressed like that?”  
He sighed and threw himself into her reading chair, “Lisara has been called out to the Tengese boarder, a special request from Mum's twin. There’s rumours that there’s an Abyssal down there, and Lisara has fought them before so they want her there.”  
Israfel had positioned herself on the end of the bed, facing Cullen, “Is she taking you along despite what happened last time?”  
He sighed deeply, “She said last time is the reason why I need to come, I need more experience. At least being closer to An-Teng, if anything goes wrong there will be backup.” He rubbed his temples, “She keeps telling me to stop wasting my strength... Maybe I should just go back to being a fire-fighter.”  
“Is An-Teng far? Will you be gone long?” Her voice wracked with nerves.  
“It’s a good 6 hour flight away, maybe a bit longer to get to the boarder.” He sighed again, “The quicker this is over with the better. Lisara lives for this kind of shit but I don’t think this is for me.” The screen on his smart-watch lit up and began to bleep, “They must be waiting for me, I better go.”  
Cullen stood up to leave but Israfel stopped him, grabbing onto his sleeve, tears welling up in her eyes, “Promise me you’ll come back safe.”  
She felt his warm hand gently brush her face, wiping away tears that started to fall, “I promise.”

And with that he pulled himself out of her grasp and walked away, taking one last look at her before closing the door. Israfel threw herself face down on the bed, her body shaking. Fear gripped her, what if something happens? What if he doesn’t come back? A sob escaped her as she let herself cry. I can’t lose someone else, she told herself, I can’t lose Cullen, not after Dad.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been crying for, she was so wrapped up in her sorrow and fear that she didn’t hear the knocking at the door or when the door opened. It wasn’t until a hand was placed on her shoulder causing her to jump that she realised she wasn’t alone in the house. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to frighten you!”  
Evelyn was sat on the bed with her, concern written across her face, hand still resting on Israfel’s shoulder.  
“It’s okay.” Israfel sat up hastily, wiping her tears, “Did you need something?”  
Evelyn smiled, “I was looking for a little company, I always get lonely when Lisara leaves.”  
Israfel nodded, “Sure, I think that’s a good idea.”  
“Get dressed,” Evelyn said, nodding, “then come meet me in the conservatory.”

Wearing a long blue maxi dress Israfel made her way to the conservatory, with the help of a cleaner who kindly showed her through the labyrinth of a home. The conservatory was more of a green house, huge exotic plants towered over her, the windowsills filled with planters filled with flowers of every colour, baskets hung from the ceiling over flowing with vines. In the middle was Evelyn, kneeing on a cushion, before her was a low table laid out with an ornate tea set and small, green, powdered cakes.

“Take a seat,” Evelyn indicated to the cushion opposite her, “do you like green tea?”  
“I’ve never tried it.” Israfel replied as she sat herself down, “I’m sorry about earlier.”  
Evelyn waved her hand dismissively, “It’s fine, I used to get like that whenever Lisara left. She came home one too many times in an absolute mess.”  
Israfel paled.  
“Don’t worry, that was in the early days, she’s a lot stronger now. And a lot less reckless now we have Cullen.” Evelyn’s voice was warm and comforting.  
“He was hurt so bad last time though.” She replied doubtfully.  
“Cullen and Lisara know what to expect this time.” Evelyn said as she poured the tea, “She’ll look after him.”  
Israfel could only frown, she had her doubts. The Abyssals had caused so much destruction, could two Exalts really manage?  
Reaching over the table, Evelyn placed her hand on Israfel’s, “Lisara has literally killed Gods. Trust me when I say they will be fine.”  
She managed a weak smile, “I’ll try.” Gods? She asked herself, just what is this family really?  
Evelyn shrugged, “I still feel anxious when she leaves, old habits die hard.”  
“How long have you been together?” She asked.  
The woman opposite her tapped her nose, “37 years, though it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.” She leant forwards placing her elbows on the table, chin resting on now interlaced fingers, “I’m sure my wife and I are a fascinating subject, but I was hoping we could talk more about you.”  
Israfel stared into her tea, “Honestly there isn’t much to say. I feel so dull and boring compared to you all.”  
“A woman who can heal aggravated wounds with only herbs and hears songs of peoples essence in her head is far from boring.”  
She took a sip of her tea, it was bitter, “You would have been better off speaking to Mum about healing, she documented it all. I just learnt from what she wrote.”  
Evelyn sighed, “I guess all that information is lost now then? Such a shame, The Wilds is an untapped resource for medicine still.”  
Israfel reached for one of the cakes, needing something sweet to balance out the bitter drink, “I could write down what I know if you like.”  
“Oh!” Evelyn sat back and clapped her hands, “That would be wonderful! Most helpful.”  
She smiled in reply, taking a bite of the cake then quickly frowning again, it had the same bitter taste as the tea and was more like a jelly than a cake.  
“Not a fan of mochi?” Before waiting for a reply Evelyn continued, “Out of curiosity, what is my song like?”  
“It depends really. When you’re with Lisara it’s bright, joyous, elated. It’s more reserved now, like you hold a lot back, or maybe it’s more Lisara brings you out of your shell.”  
Evelyn blinked, clearly shocked, “That’s a very astute observation.”

“Evelyn, can I ask you something?”  
The older woman nodded in reply.  
Israfel wrung her hands together, “I hope this isn’t offensive, but... are you and Lisara really Cullen’s parents?” She blushed, “I didn’t think two women could have children...”  
Evelyn smiled, “We are his parents, though it is a little unusual.” She tapped her nose, “I used both mine and Lisara’s genetic information to make him. I still have the tank we incubated him in.”  
She blinked in reply, barely understanding what she was being told. Made was such an odd choice of word to describe a child and incubated in a tank?  
“Neither of us carried him like other mothers do, but he’s our flesh and blood.” The pride she felt evident in her voice.  
“He’s so lucky to have you...” Israfel said as sadness began to wash over her, missing her own father dearly.  
Evelyn coughed uncomfortably, “Let’s talk about you again. Your blood tests came back, you’ll be pleased to know that other than being a little dehydrated at the time, you’re a healthy young woman.”  
She smiled weakly at Evelyn, “That’s good to hear.”  
“In regards to your essence,” She tapped her nose again (a family trait it seemed, Israfel noted), “the results were woefully inconclusive. There’s none of the usual markings of an essence user at all.”  
Israfel shrugged, “I’m sorry I can’t tell you any more about it.”  
“It’s fine, I’ve asked my twin to come back with Lisara and Cullen. They might be able to find some answers.” She laughed to herself, “Providing they and Lisara don’t kill each other first.”  
“Cullen told me that they don’t get along.”  
Evelyn laughed again, “That’s a bit of an understatement. They have tried to kill each other before, though I don’t think they would be stupid enough to try that with Lisara now.”  
“I... is he an Exalt too?” Evelyn nodded, “I don’t know if I’ll ever understand your kind.”  
“You seem to be understanding my son well enough.” Evelyn said, shrugging.  
Israfel blushed, “We just talk.”  
“I know what I said about him last time, but I’m glad he has you to talk to. It’s been nice seeing him open up again.” Evelyn said, pouring herself more tea.

Israfel thought back to the previous week, how he had been so distant but the moment she needed him, he was there. How he had confided in her about Felicity, how he had cried in front of her. Cullen was filling a hole she never knew she had in her life, a companionship that went beyond sharing blood, this was about sharing life. From the moment he had taken hold of her waist he had taken hold of he life. Now he was gone, unable to tell her when he would come back, her own insecurities about if he would come back taking over again. She hated feeling so vulnerable, her father had always been a source of strength for her, pushing her forward, but this man made her feel so weak. 

“I think you two need to have a good talk when he comes back.”  
Evelyn’s soft voice interrupted her thoughts, bringing her crashing back into the conservatory. “I don’t know what you mean.” She said defensively.  
The other woman sighed, “I’ve lived for 37 years with a woman who swings from emotionally dead to completely overwhelmed. You, I can read like a book.”  
Israfel looked away, her face felt hot, tears threatening again.  
“Look Israfel,” Evelyn stood up, “I’m his mother so I know I’m not the best person to talk to, but just think hard about what you want.”  
With that she left, leaving Israfel alone with her thoughts.

~~~

Israfel found herself in the garden shrine she had made for herself, it lacked the comforting song of her mothers grove, but at least it was private, away from the scores of people that worked in the house and on the grounds. Willow trees hung overhead shading her from the oppressive Meruvian sun, the ground was bare, waiting for life to spring forth from the herbs Israfel had planted. The shrine itself was a facsimile of the one in the grove, dark stones balanced together with an offering dish at the base and a simple incense burner.

Fear washed over her as she sat at the base of the shrine, life all seemed to daunting to face, everything so different, new faces everywhere. She longed for her father, his gentle, calming presence, his hands that would hold hers giving her strength. Cullen was there for her be he was anything other than calming, he was a turbulent man, plagued with his own issues. The fear he stirred up in her was different than anything she had felt before, frightened of his rejection but also of what would happen if he didn’t turn her away. Would he laugh at her inexperience? Would she be another notch in his bedpost? 

“Daddy...” she whispered, “I wish you could tell me what to do, you always had such good advice. Then again I know what you’d say about Cullen!” She laughed, “You’d tell me to keep away from guys like him.”

She went silent again, words stuck in her throat. She wanted to say she was sorry for the morning before he died; sorry for how she had barely spoken with him, for how she had wished she could leave the farm. She wanted to say sorry that she wasn’t there for him, but the words wouldn’t come. She couldn’t even bring herself to say goodbye yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it egotistical to say I'm proud of this chapter? I really like how the action sequence turned out. It's nice pushing myself to write different things

Communication had been brief since Cullen and Lisara had left. She always insisted on it, refused to have any distractions. Cullen told her it made her sound cold, uncaring, she told him it was so she was focused enough to make sure she always came back.

Cullen hated this, he was frozen and uncomfortable. The hiding spot Lisara had chosen might be alright for her slight frame but it was giving him cramp. Her cold hand resting on the bare skin of his arm wasn’t helping, the blackened soulsteel trying to absorb what little warmth he still had. It was necessary he tried to tell himself, Lisara was able to use essence to hide herself and those she touched, an optical shroud, but it was still cold. His Uncle Eddard was hidden on the opposite side, the fate and time manipulation of their Sidereal Exaltation essentially making them vanish from existence. The plan that was laid out was simple: now they had found where this Abyssal was working from, Cullen was to attack alone. Lisara and Eddard were there for backup, if he started to lose ground or if there were other Abyssals in the vicinity they could step in.

The ruins were dank and dark, an old temple to an even older god, long forgotten. It seemed a comically stereotypical spot for an Exalt that specialised in death and decay. Crumbling stone walls covered in moss surrounded them, grim looking statues of humanoids towered above them. There was no sounds of life here, even his sensitive ears couldn’t hear anything, as if nature knew what had settled here. It was disturbing how quickly these invaders had travelled, it was less than two weeks ago they were on the edge of The Wilds, but now their tendrils were reaching out to An-Teng, the pinnacle of civilisation. 

His ears twitched, one of the braches he had strategically placed on the ground had broken, the familiar smell of decay filled his nostrils. Cullen tapped Lisara on the leg, she squeezed his arm in reply, the two moving out of their hiding hole and forward as a single unit. Their foe came in to view. A small woman dressed in black leather from the neck down, her purple hair cut short, her face obscured by a skull mask. Lisara squeezed his arm again, it was time. He broke away from his mother, her shroud dropping off him as he flickered into view, blocking the Abyssals path. This was the one who had been aggravating the local shrines, murdering priests and leaving their skins hanging from the Torii for all to see.

“Who dares?” The small woman stepped back, a dagger manifested from black smoke into her gloved hand.  
“How dare you, you fucking monster.” Cullen snarled, nails lengthening to claws, teeth sharpening as his mouth grew into a muzzle, fur sprouting from his skin.  
She smirked at him, “Arrogant beast, you will regret coming here.”

Black essence flared around her, knowing it would be a mistake to let her manifest it into a charm, Cullen charged. His shoulder met with soft flesh, his ears welcomed the whoosh of air as he winded her, the satisfying crunch of broken ribs. The Abyssal flew from the force of the blow, her body on a trajectory to smash into one of the grotesque statues. Instead she righted herself in the air, feet landing on the acropodium, spring boarding off it back towards Cullen, dagger held out threateningly. He parried her, his hand deflecting her wrist harmlessly. As she passed him he struck, claws shredding leather, flaying her back open. She screamed and spun on her heels.

The pair danced off each other, dagger and claw deflecting one another, silver essence trying to outshine darkness, black essence attempting to drown out the light. She was slowing though, Cullen noted with pride, winding her early had given him the advantage. A sluggish dagger came towards his chest, he easily stopped it in between his palms. He smirked to himself, she had made a deadly mistake, from this distance he could easily rip out her throat. Cullen leaned forward, maw opened wide but as his jaws snapped shut they weren’t met with the tearing of flesh, but a think cloud of essence, the dagger disintegrating in between his hand.

“Shit!” He muttered, spinning around to try and locate his target.

His eyes met with a blur, three daggers danced before his face. An illusion, he told himself as her eyes desperately searched for the real one. Then his flesh was sundered open as the dagger cut from forehead to cheekbone, blood obscuring the vision in his left eye. His knees felt weak, a voice at the back of his head told him to give up now. Cullen jumped back roaring, he tried to wipe the blood from his eye but more kept flowing, his essence flared around him, quashing the curse she had tried to put on him. From his right eye he saw Eddard appear, staff at the ready, Lisara phased into sight just in front of them, her enormous sword blocking Eddard’s way.

“Stupid mutt! Now you die!”

Cullen’s attention back on his foe, the woman coming back into his vision, multiples of her appearing and disappearing as she feigned successive attacks. His eye couldn’t focus the shifting apparitions of the woman confusing his already hindered sight. He closed his eyes to try and focus, his vision had betrayed him already, luckily it was the weakest of his senses... his ears pricked at the squeaking of leather, his nose twitched honing in on the smell of death. He reached out, hand open, he hand found a thin arm. Quickly he pulled her close to him, his jaws closing around her weapon arm. She screamed and thrashed, pulling at his fur as his teeth sank in deeper. Sweet blood filled his mouth, urging him on to bite down harder. His teeth met with bone, silver essence dripped from his mouth as his jaws clamped shut. The Abyssal stumbled back screaming, blood spurting from the stump of her arm, her hand hanging limply from Cullen’s mouth.

She tried to scramble away from him, but Cullen followed her, stalking his prey. He had tasted blood now, he was eager for more. He spat the amputated limb aside and grabbed the woman by the hair, lifting her off the floor, she was screaming, thrashing weakly as blood ebbed from her arm. His teeth closed around her exposed neck, breaking the skin, tearing the muscle and ligament, cartilage snapping under the pressure, the screaming stopped, replaced by gargling, foamed blood oozed from her mouth. Cullen threw his head back, a red fountain erupting from his preys neck, she twitched then dangled limply from her hair before he tossed her aside.

“Nice job.” Lisara said, grabbing his head and wiping blood from his left eye, “Good, it’s only superficial damage.”  
Eddard walked over to the corpse, “A savage display.”  
“Hey!” Lisara shouted at her brother-in-law, kicking the severed limb at them, “Need a hand?” She burst out laughing.  
Cullen’s Uncle frowned even deeper, “It clearly isn’t your wit that made my sister fall in love with you.”  
“No, it was something else all together.” Lisara proceeded to make a rude gesture with tongue and two fingers.  
Cullen and Eddard groaned in unison.  
“Do you mind not talking about my mother that way.” Cullen said as he began to walk away.  
Lisara fell in step beside him, “I’m your mother too.”  
He rolled his eye then chuckled, “Don’t remind me.”  
Eddard caught up to the pair, “You’re method was effective. Bloody, but effective.”  
Cullen felt Lisara’s elbow in his ribs, “He made quick work of it because he wanted to get back to his new plaything.”  
He sighed deeply, she was annoying when she got like this, jovial from a successful mission without having to push herself. Though this was preferable to the her when she was pushed, logical but emotionless.  
“Ah yes,” Eddard pushed their glasses up and brushed dirt off of their Kimono, “Evelyn has asked me to come meet the young lady, she’s apparently quite the oddity.”

Cullen was finding himself eager to get home though, annoyed at how Lisara was right.

~~~

Israfel had been gifted a small room to use as a study. Evelyn was clearly excited about having access to potentially new and life saving information. She had herself up a small library dedicated to botany and alternative medicines, a computer for typing up what she could remember, finally there was a small drawing station to for her to sketch the different herbs that she used. Focusing on trying to recreate her mothers work had been a welcome distraction from how empty this massive house felt without Cullen or Lisara. Evelyn was a warm person when she wanted to be but the amount time she seemed to be able to spend socially seemed limited before she would have to hide herself away to recharge. Israfel had been very alone for these five days; working had been good for her. She rested her head on the drawing board, sketching clearly wasn’t a talent of hers, the herbs on the page were unrecognisable. Israfel sighed to herself, frustrated that should would have to try and find illustrations others had done rather than her own. Her mother had a wonderful talent for putting the world around her onto paper, Israfel had not been blessed in the same way.

The sound of Evelyn’s song grew louder, it was a song of joy, Israfel looked up expectantly, just knowing the woman was coming to see her. Evelyn’s appeared in the doorway, the golden sun on her forehead shining almost as brightly as her smile.  
“They’re almost home!”  
Israfel blinked in disbelief, they had heard nothing for three days, no communication and then suddenly a message that they’re nearly back? He was nearly home, she smiled to herself.  
“Let’s go to the landing bay and meet them!” Evelyn said, beaming.  
She nodded.

The sun was shining down on her, she basked in it’s warmth as she waited. They stood in silence as the ground team worked around then, clearing the area, monitoring flight paths and communicating with the flight team. Despite the silence Israfel knew Evelyn was bursting with joy, her song warm and melodious, euphoria washed over her as the melody filled her head.

A shadow cast over them, the tempo of the song hastened, the aircraft was above them, slowly ascending. The roar of the engine threatened to drown out all other noise, but Israfel clung onto Evelyn’s song, desperate not to lose the happiness that filled her. Israfel had felt so dark recently, today was the first day where she had felt more herself, the light that shone inside her felt so bright once again. The ground trembled as the aircraft landed, the downward facing thrusters kicking up a cloud of dust. With a hiss the hanger opened and three people descending, Lisara with arms open ready for her wife, a tall, dark-skinned woman with long, straight, black hair and small glasses. She held a silver and jade staff, the same colours as were embroided into her kimono. Israfel’s attention turned to Cullen as his long stride quickly shortened the distance between them, he brushed his hair off his face and waved.

“Hey Israfel!” His deep voice was soft, friendly.  
Israfel frowned at him, now his face was in full view she could see a long pink scar across his left eye, “You’ve been hurt again...”  
“What, this?” He pointed to his face, “It’s nothing, just a scratch.” He turned away from her, to wave the tall stranger over, “Eddard, come meet Israfel.”  
The woman walked straight up to Israfel and grabbed her by the chin, tilting her head up, “Now you are a mystery, aren’t you?”  
There was a reedy sound to this persons song, it was uptight, reserved. Just like how they held themselves.  
“Eddard.” They let go of her face and turned to look at Evelyn as she spoke, “Let’s get you all fed, then you can chat with Israfel. That’s if you want to Israfel.”

Israfel nodded eagerly, she had always been curious about her mother, but her father had refused to speak of her. The few times he had tried he had got so upset that Israfel had learnt it was better to avoid the topic. She barely remembered her mother, perhaps finding out more about her essence would answer more of her questions, help her remember more.

“Very well.” Eddard’s voice was cool as they replied.  
Cullen placed a hand on her shoulder and started to lead her away from the others, “You been holding up okay?”  
“Evelyn has been keeping me busy.”  
“Good, good. I was worried abut you.” He said tenderly.  
“Looking at the scar, maybe you should have worried about yourself a bit more.” She said, deflecting the conversation away from herself.  
“I think it’s sexy, adds to my rugged good looks.” He laughed.

Israfel blushed, he was right and she hated it. He made it so hard to lose interest in him, it was if he were a dark, marble statue. Next to him she felt short, fat, plain. She was overwhelmed by him, his charm, his confidence, but also his more vulnerable side. He was such a tender man despite appearances, despite his sad past. How she longed for him, to share herself with him, to receive his kindness every day, and to give him the kindness he so clearly needed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's all being written so fast, but I just can't help myself!

Israfel was knelt in the garden, her knees wet from the morning dew. Behind her stood Eddard, the shaft of their staff resting against her back. They wore another ornate kimono, sakura blossoms embroided into the thick pink fabric, their long black hair wrapped around an intricate silver head-dress, a shining green jewel at the centre of it. Lisara was perched on the branch of a tree, her long legs swinging idly, below her sat Evelyn, the two kept sharing loving glances, far more interested in each other than whatever Eddard had planned. Cullen was stood in the shade of the trees, hand across his face trying to hide a yawn. Israfel was tired to, Cullen had come to her room last night, speaking with her of the fear he felt during battle. Not a fear for his life, but of what he might become, how transforming into his beastial form was feeling more and more natural, he was afraid of getting stuck. She had listened to his fears, gave him comfort and reassurance that he needed. He had stayed they whole night, even when Israfel had fallen asleep, she awoke to him dozing in her chair.

She yawned, she had heard it was contagious and she was inclined to believe it.

“Focus on your essence please. Try not to get distracted or I will have to send our audience away.” Eddard’s tone was harsh as their song.  
“Sorry.” Israfel closed her eyes and breathed deeply, focusing on the song around her. 

It was a polyphonic mess, everyone was playing their own melody, nothing was in sync. She focused on Eddard, their song harsh like angry violins. Even through closed eyes she could see the glow of purple essence around her, she pulled on it, the way she had pulled on Cullen’s before. Their song burst to life in her head, everything else silenced as she was drawn into the essence swimming around her. She felt as if she were floating in a sea of murky purple water, mist rising from the surface. It wasn’t just feeling... she really was in an ocean somehow.

Israfel tried to look around, she swam in an endless sea, mist obscuring the horizon in all directions. Picking a direction at random Israfel paddled clumsily, trying to find something to explain what this place was, what she was doing here. It felt like she had been swimming for hours, her legs grew weak, her body felt numb and heavy, she could feel herself sinking. Just before her head was swallowed by the sea, she saw it, a great golden gate, a torii, two great white lions sat atop it. Then the sea claimed her, her vision obscured, thick water filled her lungs, she began to sink.

Two arms reached down for Israfel, but her arms were too weak to reach out panic hit her as she realised she would die here, suffocated by essence. Strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her to the surface, her head broke through the waters and she gasped, letting sweet air fill her again. Israfel’s eyes fluttered open to see Cullen’s face so close to hers, full of concern. He was cradling her in his arms.

“Breathe Israfel, everything is fine.” His voice didn’t sound like it was fine.  
She tried to breathe but as she inhaled her body shook as a coughing fit gripped her. Purple essence ejected from her and dissipated into the air with each cough. Her lungs hurt, starved of oxygen.  
“Cullen?” her voice was weak.  
“Oh thank the Gods.” His voice was shaky.  
Eddard stepped forward, “Well done. Let’s continue inside, you can tell me what you saw over tea.”

Israfel allowed herself to be carried inside, her legs still felt weak. She was laid on the plush sofa, propped up into a semi-seated position against the arm rest, Cullen sat by her feet facing her, one leg folded under himself, the other rested on the floor. Lisara and Evelyn curled up in a single chair together, Israfel smile at the pair, they had been nearly inseparable since they were reunited, Evelyn returned the smile but Lisara didn’t notice her face was buried in Evelyn’s voluminous hair. Eddard sat on the opposite sofa, they had set down a tray of tea but only served themselves.

“So what did you see?” Eddard leaned forward, their voice was inquisitive.  
Israfel shrugged and stared at her knees, “Not much, it was like I was lost in a giant sea, the waters were murky, everything else was foggy, I couldn’t see far in front of me.”  
“Really?” Eddard took a sip of their tea, “That was a lot of essence for you to see nothing. How strange.”  
“I did see one thing, though I don’t really know what it was or meant.” She drummer her fingers on her knees.  
“Do tell us Israfel.” Evelyn said as she leant forward to try and make tea but quickly gave up as she was too entangled with Lisara in the chair.  
“It was a torii.” She replied.  
Eddard sighed, “How woefully vague, there’s literally thousands of them scattered across Creation.”  
Israfel spoke slowly, embarrassed at how she had wasted everyone’s time, “This one look massive, it was golden. There were two white lions with golden manes on top of it.”  
Lisara finally showed interest in the conversation, she laughed heartily before speaking “Now that’s interesting!”  
Eddard frowned at her, “You know it Lisara?”  
“I do,” she cupped Evelyn’s face in her hand and kissed her on the cheek, “I’ll be disappointed if you don’t my love.”  
Evelyn smiled warmly, “How could I forgot where we got married.”  
“Ah.” Eddard replied knowingly. “Of course.”  
“Well where is it?” Cullen asked, his voice full of impatience.  
“That torii is a gate to Yu-Shan. The realm of the Gods.” Lisara grinned at her.  
Gods? Why would her questions lead her to the realm of the Gods? “How do I get there?”  
Lisara raised an eyebrow, clearly taken back by the question. “That particular gate is at the top of Mount Meru.”  
“Your not thinking of going there are you?” Evelyn’s voice was full of concern, “It’s not a safe place for humans.”  
“We can’t go with you, Evelyn and I are barred from Yu-Shan.” Lisara said chuckling.  
Eddard snorted, “Why does that not surprise me.” They interjected.  
“I’ll take you there.“ Cullen said, patting her on the knee, “It will be easier to climb Mount Meru with an extra pair of hands.”  
Israfel smiled as her cheeks reddened, “Thank you Cullen.”  
Lisara and Evelyn smiled knowingly at each other.  
“It appears my work here is done.” Eddard set their tea cup down, “I do not wish to impose on your hospitality any longer Evelyn.”  
Lisara flashed a toothy grin, “I’m sure you’re eager to get back to imposing yourself of Empress Kagura again.”  
Eddard’s face became a picture of disgust, “Your crudeness never fails to astound me Lisara.” They stood up and bowed slightly, “Please excuse me, I have to make arrangements to get back to my duties.”

Once Eddard had left, Lisara turned her attention to Israfel and Cullen. “Give me a couple of days to sort out your gear and to contact a few people, then I’ll take you to the base of the mountain.”  
“Thank you Lisara, I don’t think I can ever repay you or Evelyn for your kindness.” Israfel replied, her smile beaming.  
Evelyn spoke this time, “You owe us nothing Israfel, you’ve done more for us than you know.”

~~~

Israfel stared up at the mountain before her, the incline didn’t look to steep, steps snaked their way up leisurely. As she gazed further up the mountain her heart began to sink though, it ascended high into the heavens, clouds obscuring its full height. She began to doubt herself, her capability in climbing something so great. The clothes she was wearing were itchy, Lisara had insisted they wear military gear, though this set fit her properly at least. The pack on her back was heavy, she had been adamant she would pull her weight, not leaving all the gear to Cullen, she shifted the straps on her shoulders, trying to find a comfortable position.

“You’ll find a shrine halfway up, it’s that last point touched by humans, after that you’ll have to find your own way up. Make sure you get a good rest there before tackling the second half okay?” It was Lisara’s mechanical voice speaking.  
“Thanks Lisara.” Cullen clapped his mother on the shoulder, “How long will it take to climb?”  
Lisara shrugged, “Probably only a couple of days to reach the shrine, it will take you longer after that, maybe another three or four days.”  
“You two take care now.” Evelyn said pulling Cullen in for a hug, then bowing to Israfel.  
“A friend of mine will meet you at the gate. She’ll get you in.” Lisara said as she patted Cullen on the arm.  
“Thank you!” Israfel bowed deeply, “We’ll see you soon!”

~~~

Cullen was waiting for her, casually leaning on the trail shelter. She dragged herself up the last few steps, sweat dripping from her brow despite the cold air. He looked flawless, like he’d been for a stroll around the garden instead of the six mile incline they had just climbed. He help out his hand to her and she took it gratefully, leaning heavily into it, letting him guide her to a secluded corner of the shelter. They weren’t the only people seeking shelter from the cold wind, a few other groups huddled together, all of them staring at Israfel and Cullen. It was hardly surprising, they stood out in their military gear, the others were wearing traditional red and white robes for the pilgrimage halfway up the mountain.

“Do you want me to carry your pack tomorrow?” He asked as he helped her take it off.  
She shook her head in reply, still too breathless to speak.  
“Well let’s eat and drink from your bag tonight, it will lighten the load a little.  
“Thanks.” She wheezed.  
He pulled her in close as they waiting for the rations to warm up, “You don’t need to push yourself so hard you know. We can stop whenever you need, or I can carry you if you like.”  
“No,” she was finally getting her breath back, “it feels like you’ve been carrying me for so long, I wanna do this, I want to find my own answers.”  
He handed her a steaming bag of curried rice that she ate while leaning into him, “That’s fine, but don’t be afraid to ask for my help. I chose to come along remember.”  
“I know,” she said in between mouthfuls, “I just don’t want to take advantage of your kindness.”  
Cullen just chuckled as he began to eat his own meal.

They set of early the next day, rest had been hard to come by in the uncomfortable shelter, so rather than wasting time trying to sleep, Israfel suggested they pressed on. The steps were uneven, worn from thousands of years of pilgrimages. She stumbled a few times, her feet ached and her legs felt heavy from the lack of real rest, but Cullen was always there to catch her. During a quiet moment of their hike, Israfel snuck a look at Cullen, his tail wagged happily, his eyes half closed as he walked, a half smile on his face. Her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest, she was so elated to have this carefree time with him but what Evelyn had told her niggled at the back of her mind. How he was a womaniser but also that she should talk to him about her feelings. The fear of rejection crept back, if he turn would away from her, ruining the close bond friendship they had formed in such a short amount of time, or if he just use her as a brief distraction from his own pain. No, it was better to enjoy what the had, it hurt less than not having him there at all.

Her toe caught on an uneven step, the ridge on it higher than expected, the heavy pack she carried made it impossible to regain her balance. Israfel’s face was fast approaching the hard stone steps, but she was stopped just before her nose touched the ground, strong arms looped around her waist, holding her firmly.

“Right, if I can’t carry you, you’re at least holding onto me from now on.” His voice was firm but kind as he placed her feet.  
She smiled at him, taking hold of his arm, “Alright then.”  
“Do you need a break?”  
“I’m alright Cullen, I just want to get to the shrine so we can have a proper rest.”

~~~

Cullen looked down to the woman on his arm, her face flushed with exertion, he chest rising and falling with each heavy breath she took, her usually voluminous hair stuck to her head, but despite all that he still saw her as the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. Her green eyes shone with determination, her plump lips parted as she breathed, the curves of her body swaying with each step. It was torture having her so close, but she seemed so unfazed by their intimacy, like this was what friendships with her were just like. He helped her up the final flight of steps, taking her weight as she leaned on him, exhaustion evident on her face. He was impressed with her stamina, though it was understandable, she was a farmer before all of this. She had made this six miles without a real break, only stopping to take a drink, or when one of them needed a moment of privacy.

“We made it before everyone else,” he said smiling down at her, “hopefully we can get a comfortable room.”

The sun was just beginning to set, the sky a brilliant shade of orange while the setting sun framed the temple before them beautifully. It was an ancient building, constructed of dark cypress wood. Cullen led Israfel under a red torii and to the purification fountain, teaching her the proper way to wash her hands before entering sacred ground, the cool water biting in the cold air. Rows of guardian statues lined the way to the inner courtyard, great stone dogs with fierce faces warning off evil spirits. Upon entering the inner courtyard they were stopped by armed guard, suspicious of their untraditional dress, but once Cullen explained their destination lay further up the mountain they were greeted with open arms and led to a small but comfortable looking room. Two futons were spread on the floor for them, while the kotatsu was laid out with a simple meal of rice, vegetable and sake. It had taken some convincing to get Israfel to sit at the table rather than go straight to sleep, but she was clearly grateful for it, wolfing down her meal and basking in the warmth from both the kotatsu and the sake.

"Hey Cullen?" Her face was red from the sake.  
"Hmmm?" He set his fourth helping down, nervous about where this was going.  
"Why do all the staff stare at me funny?" The words tumbling out her mouth, the sake had clearly hit her hard.  
He groaned, this wasn't going to be a fun conversation, "They've seen us going in and out of each others rooms..."  
"So? We were just talking." Gods her innocence was endearing and infuriating.  
"Well I have a bit of a reputation..." He rubbed the back of his neck. This is it, the end of any chance I had with her, he said to himself.  
"Oh yeah... Evelyn mentioned that..." Her words were slurring together. "You have so many staff at home..."  
Cullen frowned, of couse his parents had been sticking their noses in his business.  
She fidgeted on her cushion, "Why?"  
That was a bold question from her, it took him by surprise. "I..." Cullen looked at her, she was smiling at him. So far Israfel had never judged him, not about the mess he lived in or the times she found him drunk. Maybe she wouldn't judge him about this. "I was trying to fill the hole in my heart. Hoping one of them would make me feel something again."  
Israfel looked away from him. He couldn't tell if she was sad or disgusted, the alcohol made her surprisingly hard to read. "I hope you find someone one day."  
Ah, there was the rejection. But what had he expected? For her to offer herself to him, to try her out and see if it helped? He couldn't take this torture anymore, he needed a moment to breathe. “I’ll go outside while you get yourself into bed. I want to see if there’s any advice the priests can give us for the next part of the journey.” Cullen said as he pulled the sheets back for her.  
She just nodded, he hoped it was exhaustion keeping her quiet, but somehow he doubted that.

When Cullen returned she was already asleep, curled up into a ball under the thick blankets. Cullen undressed himself and settled down into his own futon. He laid there listening to her gentle breathing, each breath was agony for him, reminding him how close she was, yet so far. Cullen sighed, wishing they had been given separate rooms.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised my husband I'd add the dog cheese story. One of the girls from Morning Musume told it and he cried with laughter at it.

Israfel found herself missing the uneven steps; the ground they traversed was steep, without a path to follow. Cullen bounded ahead of her, showing her the safest route up, but it left her to balance alone on the rocky ground. Lisara had been right, the decent nights rest had invigorated her for the day, though she wondered how long this feeling would last with such a tough hike ahead. She looked behind her, the shrine was obscured by the clouds they had passed through, she had been walking for hours. Looking ahead, she saw Cullen was now sat on a ledge above her, offering her hand, she took it and he pulled her up effortlessly.

“You holding up alright?”  
“I never thought there was anything this tall in Creation.” She replied, sitting down next to him.  
He handed her a protein bar, “There’s still a way to go.”  
“Don’t remind me, I’m starting to wonder if this is going to be worth it.” She took a small bite of the bar and frowned.  
“They taste like shit sorry.” He chuckled.  
“It’s not that, I just remembered the last time I ate one of these.” Her voice started to crack.  
“Try not to think about it.” He got to his feet, “You need to save your energy for the climb.”

Israfel nodded, picking herself up. He was right, now wasn’t the time to get emotional.

“So you remember me mentioning my old dog right?” His voice was jovial.  
She nodded again, chewing the bar as she walked. She had interrupted his story just after she lost her dad.  
“Well quite a few years ago, I was in the kitchen looking for a hangover cure, I’d been out with Felicity at a pretty crazy birthday party.” He laughed to himself. “So I was rummaging through the fridge and pulled out this block of cheese. I was feeling pretty rough and couldn’t be arsed to cook, so I just started eating this cheese and Bella, my dog was going mental. Jumping round me, barking, being way too loud for me in the state I was in. Felicity came in, she was super pissed off, ‘what have you done to that dog? Do you know what time it is?’ She was just adding to the noise.” He was still laughing to himself but she could see the hint of sadness in his eyes. “Then she asks me what the hell I’m doing, why was I eating the dog’s cheese?”  
Israfel couldn’t help but laugh, “Dog cheese?”  
“Dog cheese.” He replied, “I wondered why it tasted like shit.” Cullen covered his face, snickering to himself, “Fucking dog cheese.”  
“Oh Gods,” His laughter was contagious, Israfel near hysterical, “What did you do?” Tears started to run down her face as she giggled uncontrollably.  
His laugh was deep and hearty, “I just kept fucking eating it. I’m not a man to leave a job half done.”  
Israfel grabbed onto his arm, hardly able to walk from laughing so hard.  
“I should get another dog, no cheese though.” His voice was bright, carefree.  
“Thank you,” she was starting to calm herself down, “I needed that.”  
“Anytime.” He said before stopping and sighing.

They had been walking along a shallow incline, a merciful change of pace from the steep climb earlier, but now they were faced with an almost vertical ledge.  
Cullen set his pack down and pulled out a rope, “I’ll climb up and drop this down and pull you up.”

With that he started to climb, growing claws to dig into the smooth rock so he could find purchase. 

~~~

Four days had passed, the climb had been tough for Israfel but uneventful. The once comfy boots she wore felt like she was walking on glass now, her muscles felt stiff from sleeping one the cold, hard floor. She looked up at Cullen, even he was starting to look dishevelled, his clothes worn, ears constantly turned back and his tail now hung limply no longer wagging like it usually was.

“Thank fuck.” Cullen’s voice was breathy.  
He stopped walking and turned to Israfel, waiting for her, offering her his hand. She took it gratefully, not sure she would have the strength to take another step if it weren’t for him. She was pulled up the last few feet onto level ground. Israfel stood in awe, the torii was bigger than she could have imagined, the sunlight reflecting off its golden surface with a heavenly glow. Cullen stepped forward, bringing her along with him but their progress was halted, the two lions Israfel had seen in her vision blocked their path.

“What is your business here?” The lions spoke in unison, their tone threatening, their voice deep and rumbling.  
Cullen stepped in front of her defensively just as another figure appeared from behind one of the great, golden pillars.  
She skipped forward and patted one of the lions on the head, “They’re my guests.”

Israfel peeked out from behind Cullen to study the woman, her song was heavenly, angelic. Her face was familiar, she had been in many of the photographs with Lisara. She was tall, almost as tall as Cullen, her athletic body evident even under the huge fluffy jumper she wore. Her hair was a brilliant orange almost reaching down to the floor, her skin was golden, shining in the morning light. Israfel noted that her hands were constructed of interlocked golden plates; another Exalt like Lisara? She asked herself.

“Sunchild!” Cullen yelled letting go of Israfel and wrapping his arms around the woman.  
A pang of jealousy came over Israfel as the woman returned the hug.  
“Cullen look at you! You barely came up to my waist when I last saw you! Look how big you’ve grown!” She ruffled his ears playfully.  
He visibly recoiled from the touch. His ears clearly out of bounds for Sunchild too.  
“Sun,” he took Sunchild by the arm, “this is Israfel, did Lisara tell you about her?”  
Sunchild grabbed Israfel, pulling her in for a hug, her body was hard but warm, “It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’ll help you find the answers you’re looking for!”  
“Uh thank you Sunchild” Israfel’s voice was muffled as her face was pressed into the other woman’s chest.  
“Let’s get you two inside, I’ve booked us in to the best hot springs in town, it’s perfect for relaxing after that climb!” Sunchild said as she linked arms with the two of them, leading them under the torii.

A blinding light overtook Israfel’s vision forcing her to close her eyes. When she opened them again she was no longer at the top of a mountain but a bustling city street illuminated with a brilliant sun. Unbelievable creatures moved around carrying out mundane daily tasks, a dragon flew overhead, people with the heads of animals bartered and traded, lions like the ones outside patrolled the streets. The path they were stood on was paved with jade and embellished with gold, the skyline was filled with sparking towers and statues that reached towards the heavens. A cacophony of noise exploded into Israfel’s head, louder than anything she had ever heard before, deafening and overwhelming. She untangled her arm from Sunchild’s and threw herself at Cullen who caught her and held her close. His song filled her head, quieting the symphony of Yu-Shan.

“Is it too loud?” He asked tenderly.  
She nodded into his chest.  
“Yeah there’s a lot of essence here. Just stay close.” He put an arm around her shoulder and started to walk her in the direction that Sunchild was indicating.

~~~

Israfel sank down into the water, her arms wrapped around her naked form self-consciously, the water instantly soothing her aching muscles. Sunchild was next to her, arms behind her head smiling to herself, seemingly oblivious to the Israfel’s discomfort.

“This is the life isn’t it.” Her voice melodic but underpinned with a slight mechanical buzzing. She lifted a long leg out of the water, wiggling her toes.  
“It does feel good.” Israfel said, trying to focus on Sunchild’s song.  
“So,” the golden woman said as she slid closer to Israfel, their shoulders now touching, “you and Cullen? I’m glad to see he’s found a nice girl after what happened.”  
“Oh, no!” She exclaimed, “we’re just friends!”  
“Really?” Sunchild said, smirking as she lent in closer, nearly cheek to cheek.  
“Really.” Her tone probably colder than she had planned. She was still picturing the affection hug those two had shared.  
Sunchild slid away from her, “Well that’s a shame.”  
“You’re friends with Lisara and Evelyn?” Israfel said, desperate to talk about something other than Cullen.  
Tapping her nose, Sunchild replied, “Well I’m friends with Lisara, we go way back!”  
“You don’t like Evelyn?” Israfel asked, clearly confused as to how someone could dislike the kind, motherly woman.  
“Don’t get me wrong, “ Sunchild waved a hand in front of her face, “I love both of them, but I know Evelyn still holds a grudge.”  
Israfel turned herself to face Sunchild who carried on speaking.  
“She’s never got over the time Lisara had a crush on me.” She chuckled as she said it, “I mean Lisara’s not my type, she never had anything to worry about, but I get it.”  
Israfel frowned, it was hard to imagine Lisara, who was so dedicated to her wife pining after someone else.  
As if reading her mind Sunchild continued, “Lisara was pretty messed up when she was younger and she reacted terribly to her Exaltation, plus she just lost her Mother when I met her. I guess what with us being the same and how I’m a touchy-feely person, she got confused.”  
“It’s hard to imagine Lisara like that...”  
Sunchild smiled widely, “She’s gotten a lot better, nearly dying and then having Cullen sorted her out.” She stretched her arms above her head, “I’ve probably said more than I should have, Lisara doesn’t like talking about the past too much.”  
“I guess everyone has things in their past they’d rather forget.” She said sadly.  
Sunchild put an arm around her, “And yet here you are, in the City of the Gods seeking answers about yours.”  
Israfel squirmed uncomfortably, feeling the naked woman so close to her, “I just want to know about my Mother.”

The bright sky suddenly began to darken, the sun wasn’t setting, it was just fading from the sky to be replaced by a large silver moon. Stars twinkled brightly in the sky as a large red centipede scuttled around the springs breathing fire into the lanterns, illuminating the pool.

“Ah the Games of Divinity are finished for the moment.” Sunchild stood up, her skin glowing in the lamplight. Her body was toned with long elegant limbs, “We should head home, things get a little weird while Luna is in charge.”

Israfel stood up as well and quickly scrabbled to get her gown, covering her naked form as fast as she could despite the water still dripping off of her. Sunchild, in contrast, was taking her time, drying herself thoroughly before walking into the changing room, her robe thrown over her shoulder. A silver kimono had been laid out for Israfel and she was assisted into it by a kindly looking woman with glowing eyes and purple fire for hair. Despite the heavy appearance of her new garb, the fabric felt soft and weightless on her skin, it was as if she were wearing the clouds themselves.

Outside Cullen stood waiting for them, his hair still wet, the fur of his tail dripping onto the floor, he was smiling widely at her. He had been given fresh clothes too, a black haori with white cranes printed on it with black and white hakama tied at his waist, reaching down to the floor. The way the lamplight bounced of his coppery skin took Israfel’s breath away. Cullen offered her his arm which she eagerly took, the world instantly quietened once more.

“Feeling better?” His voice warm and seductive.  
“It’s feels like I never climbed that mountain,” she looked to Sunchild, “those springs were incredible, thank you so much!”  
“It’s the least I could do!” She said, beaming at the two of them.

The trio made their way through the now quiet streets, silver foxes darting around their feet leaving trails of stardust behind them. The air was still warm despite the lack of sun as if it were still only early evening.

“What time is it?” A confused Israfel asked as Sunchild stood waiting for food she had ordered for them all.  
Sunchild shrugged, “Time has no meaning here.”  
“Night drew in so quickly.” Mused Cullen.  
“Oh it’s not night time,” Sunchild said as she bagged up their meal, “it’s dark because the Unconquered Sun lost the Divine Games to Luna, the moon goddess. It will be night for a while, until someone else wins.”  
“What do you mean?” Israfel was even more confused.  
“The highest Gods compete for control over Yu-Shan playing games with each other. Whoever wins decides the configuration of the sky among many other things. Luna has just won, they’ll be a short break before they start up again, then we’ll see what happens after that.” Said Sunchild as she walked ahead.  
Cullen just shrugged at Israfel, “We’re in a completely different realm, I guess our laws of the universe don’t apply here.”

They reached Sunchild’s home and she ushered them in. The interior was warn and soft, the thick carpet bounced underfoot, pillows and plush looking furniture was everywhere, not a single harsh corner or solid surface to be seen. Everywhere Israfel looked there was a small furry hamster, Sunchild picked one up and nuzzled it against her face.

“I hope you’re not allergic, I’ve bred these ones from the originals Evelyn left for me.”  
“No, they do look tasty though!” Cullen said, licking his lips.  
Sunchild laughed and slapped his arm, “Hand’s off wolf-boy! I’ve already bought us dinner!”

The meal laid out before Israfel was perhaps the strangest she had ever seen. She had been presented with a bowl of flowers; lilies, roses, lotus plants and many more she couldn’t identify, petals of all colours some shifting in the flickering candle light. She plucked a petal from a lily and placed it on her tongue and her eyes widened in shock as her taste buds exploded with the overwhelming sweetness. Israfel hummed to herself, relishing the soft texture and exquisite flavours, it was a pleasant change from the stodgy, bland rations she had been eating for the past four days. The petals made a deceptively filling meal, Israfel sat back, warm and satisfied.

After the meal Sunchild had ushered Israfel and Cullen to bed, directing them separately to another soft, plush room. Israfel threw herself down on the bed, ready for sleep to take her, exhausted from the hike.

Sleep wouldn’t come though.

As she laid wrapped in a thick duvet, alone, the tumultuous sounds of Yu-Shan filled her head again, erratic and unorganised, overpowering. Israfel sighed to herself, getting up to don a long fluffy nightdress she had been left and heading out of the bedroom door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this is an entire chapter of smut. Enjoy xD

Israfel stood at Cullen’s door, her hand frozen inches from the dark wood, debating whether to knock, or just to go back and face a sleepless night alone. She sighed. He would be tired too; she had put so much on him recently, it wasn’t fair to deny him his rest. Just as she had convinced herself to turn back, the door opened and there stood Cullen, dressed in only thin button-up trousers, smiling at her. The sight of his bare chest gave her butterflies in her stomach, his warm smile made her heart skip a beat. Her feelings were becoming harder and harder to ignore; she regretted coming to him now.

“I could hear you breathing.” He opened the door wider and stepped aside, “Come on in.”  
She stepped in the room, unable to turn down his invitation “I’m sorry.”  
A hand fell on her shoulder, “Don’t apologise, I told you anytime you need me. Is it too loud still”  
“I can’t sleep with all this noise.” She looked up at him, her head about to explode. “What about you?”  
Cullen shrugged, “I never sleep well.”  
“I just...” She chewed her lip, “I miss my home, I miss falling asleep listening to Dad’s song. Everywhere else is so loud.”  
“Sit down.” he directed her onto the edge of the bed and sat her down, squatting down in front of her so they were at eye level to each other, “When we’re done here, anywhere you wanna go, anywhere you wanna live, I’ll sort it out for you. We’ll find you somewhere quiet.”

Israfel looked at him, he was so close, so beautiful, so kind... His song resonated in her head, filling her heart. She wanted to hear his song forever, to hear nothing else ever again. She raised a shaking hand and touched his face, fingers brushing his cheek, her thumb gently tracing his scar.

“Israfel...?” His voice hushed.

Something inside her snapped.

If she didn’t take this chance, she would regret it forever. She needed him more than she had ever needed anything before. She lent into him, brushing her lips against his, kissing him gently. His lips were so soft, his stubble tickled her skin... Her first kiss... But her heart sank, he wasn’t kissing back, he was as still as a statue. Everything came crashing down around her; her fears of rejection realised. Israfel pulled back, his eyes were wide with shock. 

Her lip began to tremble, “Cullen... I...”

She wanted to say she was sorry, tell him to forget what just happened, but before she had the chance, his hands were on her shoulders, pushing her back into the bed. Everything was moving so fast. Cullen towered over her as his hands moved to her legs, rough skin brushing against her has he moved them higher, his thumbs hooking around her night dress, lifting it up. She blushed as his hands moved over her sensitive thighs, pulling her gown over her hips, over her panties, his hands came to rest on her waist, his eyes staring deep into hers, his cheeks flushed.

“Israfel, I...” his voice was barely above a whisper, “I need you.” He swallowed hard, “Can I...?”  
It felt like her heart stopped in her chest, her mouth went dry, her whole body trembling. She nodded, unable to speak.

Cullen clearly needed no further encouragement as he pushed her gown higher, over her breasts, over her head, then finally thrown aside. He slipped an arm under her waist, lifting her up the bed, his legs pushed hers apart as he knelt over her. She looked up at him, his eyes moving up and down her body as if he were memorising every single detail. She could feel her face redden, exposing herself to Cullen for the first time, she felt so vulnerable under his gaze.

Israfel reached out and cupped his cheek, “Cullen...”  
His eyes shot up, focusing sharply on her. He spoke in between slow, heavy breaths, “Gods, you’re so beautiful.”  
No one had ever called her that before...

She felt his other hand wrap it’s self in her hair as he lowered himself down, brushing her lips with his before kissing her deeper, with urgency as if this moment would end if he didn’t take hold of it now. Israfel parted her lips to let out a moan, but it was instantly muffled as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. His sweet taste filled her as he explored her mouth, low, grumbling moans rising from his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. A gasp escaped her as Cullen lowered his whole body onto hers, feeling his hard bulge pressing into her panties. Their kiss ended and Cullen placed his forehead on hers, grinning mischievously at her as he rocked his hips against her, enjoying the gasp she made each time pressure was placed on her most sensitive area. Her panties grew wet and she groaned, only thin fabric separated them, her legs trembled against him.

“You sure about this?” he asked, shifting his weight onto one arm, the other stroking the side of her face.  
She nodded, still unable to talk, the feeling of his cock pressed against her making her weak. She didnt think she had ever been more sure of something.  
Cullen’s hand traced down her neck, along her collar bone, rough fingers following the swells of her breasts, “So soft...”

Israfel moaned, pushing her chest up, desperate for him to touch her more, not knowing entirely what she needed, just that she needed it. Her signal was understood; Cullen cupped her breast in his hand and squeezing lightly and she moaned again, her need growing further. His fingers began to trace circles round her breast, slowly getting closer and closer to her hard nipple, teasing her, building up her desire until she felt like her chest would burst.

She met his gaze and managed a to whisper, “Cullen... please...”

Fingers gently stroked her nipple before taking it in between his finger and thumb pinching it gently. She moaned again, spurring him on further to pinch harder, pulling on her nipple as he kissed her again, slower this time. With his large hands he teased her, pleasure coursing through her, making her hotter and hotter. She squirmed underneath him, barely able to control her body. The pressure on her nipple eventually eased and she sighed into his mouth, he moaned in reply, his hand moving down the curve of her breast. He traced the lines of her stomach that had started to firm up from all the hiking. His light touches tickling her sensitive skin causing her to squirm even more. Lower and lower his hand travelled, with each inch he moved she could feel her heart pounding faster and faster, her breath quickening. 

His hand paused at the base of her stomach, fingers just teasing the hem of her underwear, his eyes met hers questioningly. Israfel swallowed hard, her heartbeat thumping in her ears, aching for his touch but trembling at the thought of it. His hands were so big... he was so big... would he hurt her? She focused on his eyes again, so full of warmth, full of concern for her. Her heart swelled as she looked at him, despite his strength, despite the ferocity which he fought with, he had always been so gentle with her. She nodded, he bit his lip, sharp fangs showing as his hand continued downwards, fingers intertwining with her fine hair. Cullen shifted his hips, cock now pressing into her thigh, his legs pushing hers further apart, spreading herself for him as his fingers teasing the crest of her womanhood.

His voice was low and guttural, his chest rumbling against her as he spoke, “So wet for me already.”  
Israfel felt her face redden and she turned away from him, flustered by her bodies eagerness for him.  
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he kissed her cheek, “I’m honoured.” His voice a whisper in her ear as he nibbled on her earlobe.

Rough fingers found her sensitive bud and Israfel moaned, raising her hips up to him, silently begging for more pressure. Pleasure coursing through he whole body, it all felt so different when someone else was touching her, so much more intense. Israfel let out another moan as two fingers stroked the sides of her clit, heat rising inside her as he increased the intensity. Just as Israfel thought she was going to burst the pressure ease, his fingers gliding over her wetness to her entrance, a single finger slipped inside her and she bucked underneath him, a whine escaping her lips as he opened her up. The feeling overwhelmed her; huge, rough fingers touching her in places she had never touched before, she tensed around him.

“Israfel...” his voice shook as he explored deeper inside her, his finger curled up stroking her insides, his lips and tongue teasing her sensitive neck.

The fingers of one of her hands scrabbled against the hard muscles of his back, desperate to hold onto him as she gave himself to him. Her other hand slid down his body, fumbling with the buttons of his trousers, freeing his cock. Israfel’s hand paused, trembling as she felt his unleashed member throbbing against the bare skin of her thigh. His finger explored deeper inside her, she gasped again.

Cullen moved to face her, his eyes half closed, his cheeks flushed, “Touch me Israfel...” He begged.  
Urged on by him her fingers stroked the length of his shaft, it was rock solid, twitching as she stroked it. She wrapped her fingers around him and he let out a deep moan. But she suddenly realised she had no idea what to do with him.... Her inexperience overwhelmed her, she suddenly wanted to cry, "Cullen I..." She whimpered.  
"Shush, it's okay." His breath caressed her neck.

He started rocking his hips into her hand, moaning quietly. Then he pushed another finger inside her and gently rubbed her clit with his thumb; she threw her head back, crying out in pleasure. Cullen kissed her as the pressure inside her increasing, heat rising, her legs trembling uncontrollably, she constricted herself around his finger. She cried into his mouth as he moaned “yes” over and over again. Waves of pleasure crashed over as her sex fluttered around his fingers, her nails dug into the firm skin of his back, grip tightening on his cock as her entire body tensed up.

“Cullen... Cullen...” she whispered, repeating his name again and again as pleasure washed over her.

He parted their kiss, eagerly watching her face as it contorted in pleasure.

A disappointed sigh escaped her as Cullen withdrew his fingers as he continued to slowly rock into her hand, her body already missing the feeling of fullness. She moved her hips, desperate to find him again but he already held his hand up to his face, studying her slickness on his fingers. She looked up at him, face flushed, his eyes darted to her and a wry smile spread on his lips, tongue darting out to lick his finger. Her blush deepened.

“You taste so good...” He purred, “I can’t wait for more.”  
Her blush spread down her neck, “Wha... what?” She stammered. Taste her? He couldn’t mean to... she shivered with anticipation.  
Cullen worked his way down from her forehead, leaving a trail of tender kisses, pausing at her neck, “I was wondering how far that beautiful blush of yours would spread.”  
She couldn’t help it, she felt her blush deepen, her chest grew warm, he had been thinking of her? Her head was swimming at the revelation.  
“Now that’s what I wanted to see.” He said in between placing kisses down her chest, around the swell of her blushing breasts.

Her chest heaved as she looked down at him, he was looking at her, eyes dark and heavy, mouth so close to her hard nipple, cock throbbing in her tight grip. He grinned at her, not breaking eye contact as his tongue slide out of his mouth, further and further, then the warm wetness overpowered her as the flat of his soft tongue caressed her nipple. Israfel threw her head back and whimpered, his hand taking hold of her breast, bringing it up to his mouth. Her whimpers continued as his tongue danced around her nipple, desire swelling in her chest, she ached for more.

“Cullen...” She pleaded.

His mouth enclosed around her, greedily sucking on her, his sharp teeth grazing her soft skin. Israfel cried out his name again and again, her free hand gripping his hair pushing his face into her chest more. She wiggled her hips, desperate to feel pressure against her core again, but he moved his body away from her, teasing her, denying her. His cock slipped from her grasp as he sucked harder. Israfel looked down at him, his song pounded in her head in time with his heartbeat, she heard nothing else other than him, could feel nothing other than him, it was as if they were the only two people in the world. His dark brown eyes fluttered open, focusing on her, staring deep into her soul. He pulled his mouth away from her with a loud pop, sending a shudder all the way down her body. A thin trail on saliva still connecting them until he licked his lips, breaking it.

She didn’t break eye contact as he kissed his way down her stomach, teeth nipping at whatever soft flesh he could find. His hands grabbed at her underwear pulling them down off her hips, his fingers brushing her thighs as he pealed them off her. Israfel gripped the bed sheets, her body trembled as his eyes darted down, his intent stare made her even more naked and vulnerable. 

Suddenly his hands grabbed her legs, forcefully hoisting them over his shoulders. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of his head nuzzling up against her inner thighs, his tongue dancing across her sensitive skin. His ears turned back and his eyes glanced back up at her, she couldn’t see his mouth but could tell he was smiling. His tongue flicked out, teasing her outer folds and Israfel’s eyes widened, his creased up as his smile clearly grew. Then Israfel’s entire world collapsed around her, she threw her head back and screamed as his mouth clamped around her womanhood. He sucked hard, tongue lapping at her sensitive clit, teeth scraping her at delicate skin. Cullen’s hands explored her body, dragging his nails across her skin, grabbing hard at her, lifting her up to him. He pushed his face further into her, his stubble scratching her thighs as her feet scrabbled against the hard planes of his back. Israfel could only call his name over and over again until her voice grew hoarse, her cries reducing to a mere whisper as her entire body tensed. Cullen reached up, finding her hand and holding it tight, she gripped it, heart soaring at the gesture of affection. Everything was so intense, she couldn’t breath as pleasure washed over her again, her insides convulsing at every move he made, her legs involuntarily wrapped around his head, holding him fast as she grinded against his face.

It felt like an age before Israfel got her breathing under control, before Cullen untied himself from the knot her legs had him held in.

“Israfel.”

She opened her eyes as he stood above her in all his naked glory. She looked down his body, the three long scars across his muscular chest had darkened, almost matching his complexation now, a fine trail of dark hair led down his six pack to the defined v-cut of his pelvis.

“Israfel,” her eye’s looked up to meet his, full of concern, “are you sure you wanna do this?”

She looked down his body again, her eyes draw to his hard member, pre-cum dripping from the end of. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at it, two of his fingers had filled her up so much... she found herself questioning if he would even fit inside her.

His breathing was heavy as he continued to speak, “We can stop if you want to...”  
She gripped the bed sheets tighter, “I want you Cullen... I... I need you...” She was so scared but her body ached for him, her need for him overcoming her fear.

Cullen smiled at her, kneeling on the bed again, pushing her legs apart as he took hold of his hard cock. He lowered himself onto her, she tensed as she felt him pressing against her tight entrance, her legs shaking. He breathed deeply, murmuring her name as he pushed himself inside her. Israfel gasped as she felt herself opening up to him, filling her up. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt like she was going to break, the muscles of her pelvis tensing around him trying to protect her from the feeling of being torn in two. Her hands gripped the sheets tighter, the fabric ripping in her palms. Her breath got caught in her lungs, chest tightening. He was so big, it hurt so much. Panic started to overtake her and the pleasure from a moment a go was forgotten. Still Cullen pushed, deeper and deeper he entered until their bodies were flush together. His strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer, the other resting by her head, supporting his weight.

“Hey, you okay?” He said softly.  
Israfel nodded. She wasn’t sure if she was okay, this wasn’t what she was expecting, no one ever mentioned the pain to her.  
“Does it hurt?” He asked tenderly.  
She continued to nod.  
“Look at me Israfel.”  
She opened her eyes, his face was so close to hers, tenderness, compassion, lust all mixed together on his face.  
He spoke softly again, “Do you want me to stop?”  
“No.” She replied weakly.  
“I want you to hold me.” Cullen kissed the side of her face gently, “I want you to hold onto me and breathe, okay. If you need me to stop, tell me.”

Israfel nodded, releasing her grip on the sheets and wrapping her arms around him, one hand gripping onto his shoulder blade, the other grabbing onto his hair. Cullen moved slowly at first, rocking his hips against hers. She held him tighter, focusing on her breathing, timing it with his gentle thrusts. Israfel found herself relaxing with the rhythm of her breathing, the fullness she felt becoming more satisfying than painful. She moaned his name aloud.

“Fuck me Israfel,” he growled, “you feel so fucking good.”

Sweat started to bead on his forehead as his pace quicken, his tail wrapped around her leg, pulling it up, opening her up more, allowing him to press in deeper. The angle of his hips changed and Israfel saw stars as his cock pushed on a sensitive spot she didn’t know she had, as his coarse hairs rubbed against her clit with each thrust. She let go of his shoulders, grabbing at the base of his tail, pulling him into her harder. A strangled, almost pained, moan escaped his lips as he slammed into her.

“Oh Cullen! I... I...” She didn’t know what she was trying to say. She couldn’t think straight.

She constricted around his cock, her heart pounded and she couldn’t control her breathing as the heat built up inside her again. The hand on her waist tightened it’s grip, fingers digging into her soft flesh.

“Come for me Israfel.” He begged her.

She pulled his head down to her, moaning into his mouth as she kissed him, pushing her tongue past his lips. Israfel’s orgasm washed over her, nails digging into her lovers skin, teeth biting into his lips as she whimpered, contracting and relaxing as he continued to pound into her.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck...” He murmured into her mouth over and over again.

Israfel felt him explode inside her, cock throbbing as he filled her with his own release.

They laid there still locked together, trembling, unable, unwilling to part.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a bit shorter than usual. That just seemed like a good cliff-hanger to end the chapter on!

A wet drop landed on her face, running down her cheek. Israfel’s eyes fluttered open, expecting to see Cullen above her, grinning at her, dripping with sweat. She wasn’t prepared the sight above her, sweat beaded on his brow, ears hanging limply, but there were tears rolling down his face, falling onto her.

“Cullen...” She grabbed his face with two hands, “you’re crying...”  
He lowered his head down so their foreheads touched, “I’ve laid awake every night since I’ve met you, thinking of this moment, thinking how it would never happen...” Tears continued to fall, “I never thought I would get to feel this way again. The hollowness, the self loathing, it’s gone.”  
Israfel couldn’t speak, there were no words to say as this huge man bared his soul to her. How he felt so incredibly strong as their bodies pressed together yet his tears were so vulnerable.  
“What have I done to deserve someone as perfect as you?” His voice was shaking.  
She stayed silent, letting him continue with his thoughts. Her heart felt like it was going to explode.  
He licked his lips as he looked her in the eyes, “It’s been eating away at me... the way you told me to stop in the forest.”  
Her tears started to come as her heart swelled, realising he cared for her all this time, “I only said that because you would have left me at that point!”  
He kissed her tenderly, “I’ll never leave you, ever.”  
“Gods,” she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly, “we’re both so stupid!”  
He blinked in surprise, “Both of us?”  
“I...” she blushed, “I’ve been thinking of you since that night we spent in front of the fire, but I was so scared of how you made me feel.”  
"Since then?" His wet eyes wide with shock.  
"I should have come to you sooner..." she whispered, thinking bitterly about all the time she had wasted.  
“It doesn’t matter,” he hugger her tightly, crushing her into his chest, “we’re here now.”  
“Cullen...” she wheezed, “I can’t breath...”

He laughed deeply, rolling off of her, making her gasp as he pulled out. Israfel rolled into him placing her head on his shoulder, resting her hand on his chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall as he breathed. 

Cullen stroked her head, running his fingers through her long, red hair. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too much, I’m probably not the best person for your first time.”  
She felt her cheeks redden, “Was it that obvious?” she asked quietly.  
“A little, you were so nervous, you were shaking the whole time.” He looked down at her blushing face, “Thank you for sharing that moment with me.”  
“Don’t thank me!” She slapped his chest playfully, “It’s embarrassing at my age!”  
He took hold of her hand, “I think it’s incredibly cute. I’ve never been with virgin before.”  
Israfel buried her face into his chest, “I've only read about this before, I..." she closed her eyes, suddenly very embarrassed by her inexperience, "I don't know what to do... I’m sorry if I wasn’t very good...”  
“Israfel...” He lifted her chin so she had to face him, “don’t say things like that. You and everything you do it absolutely perfect.” His smile was so honest, so comforting. She just sat there staring at him, drinking in his kindness, unable to speak. Cullen yawned, “Sorry... Gods that tired me out... Is it quiet enough for you now?”  
She nodded, eyes growing heavy, “All I can hear now it you.” She managed to murmur before sleep claimed her.

~~~

Movement in the house brought Cullen out of his sleep. Sunchild must be up already, he mused to himself, looking out the window to see it was still dark. He frowned, remembering what he had been told, that it would be night for a while now. His eyes were draw to his chest, to the woman laid across him. Her dishevelled hair covered her face, he brushed it away, drinking in her beauty, light skin contrasting against the coppery tones of his own, petite features relaxed in her deep sleep, plump lips slightly parted. He grinned to himself, imagining those plump lips kissing their way down his body, wrapping around him, taking him into her mouth.

Cullen shook his head, pushing those thoughts aside, it wasn’t just lust he felt as he looked at her. His heart overflowed with affection, filling the emptiness that had plagued him for so long. For years he had shared himself with numerous women, just to usher them aside when the act left him feeling just as hollow as before, coldly dismissing them as they cried or screamed at him. He sighed, the pain and trauma was still there, but it was accompanied by a feeling of tranquillity in her arms, he could accept the past and embrace the future now.

The loud pattering of feet filled his ears, then a loud voice filled with panic.

“Cullen!” Sunchild’s voice cried out.  
Israfel’s eyes snapped open just as the golden woman burst into his room.  
“Israfel is... missing...” Her voice trailed off as she saw the pair together. “Ohhhh...” she murmured, a cat like grin spreading on her face.  
Israfel buried her face into his chest, he could feel the heat radiating off of it.  
Sunchild backed out of the room, “Breakfast is ready whenever you two are.”

Cullen chuckled as Israfel groaned into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him, a satisfying gasp escaped her lips as his morning erection pressed into her stomach. She pushed herself off his chest, breasts bouncing as she straddled his legs. Seeing his cock standing erect against her, a moan rose from inside him as he could now clearly see just how deep inside her he had been. His heart started to pound in his chest, watching Israfel’s delicate hand tentatively reach for his cock. He bit down on his lip, nodding encouragingly as she wrapped her fingers his shaft, the she faltered, looking at him pleadingly. Her innocence was an absolute joy. Reaching out he placed his hands over hers, guiding hand just the way he liked it; firm, steady. He twitched in her hand, his cock being teased by her soft skin. Releasing her hand, Cullen propped himself up on his elbow, reaching around her body, running his fingers over her soft, warm skin, grabbing her ass, enjoying her soft moans. He reached further, finding her wet entrance, tracing circles around it before he pushed a finger inside her. Israfel was moaning, her chest heaving as she stroked him faster.

"Israfel...” he whispered as the pressure inside him built up, his morning erection almost painfully sensitive in her hands.

He wanted to taste her, bury himself inside her, but he couldn’t move. Mesmerised by the bounce of her breasts as she grinded against his fingers, the blush on her face, her parted lips, the hand that stroked his cock faster and faster.

Cullen’s cock continued to twitched in her grasp, his releasing hitting him suddenly, flowing over Israfel’s hand. He moaned, shaking in between his lovers legs, pleasure pulsating from his cock through the rest of his body. His eyes focused on her hand, watching her intently as she let go of him, bringing her hand up to her face. She was still rocking her hips against his hand as she looked at his cum on her fingers. He watched as she opened her mouth slowly, her face getting redder and redder as she moved her fingers closer to her mouth. Cullen’s cock twitched with anticipation. Surely she isn’t going to...? He inhaled sharply as she placed two fingers in her mouth closing her eyes as she sucked on them, pulling them out with a pop, wet with her saliva.

It was too much for him, she was an absolute picture of lust, licking his cum off her hand, hair cascading down her shoulders, grinding against him. He grabbed her hips with his other hand, quickly rolling them over so he was on top of her. She entwined her hands in his hair, she was smiling brightly at him, eyes half closed. He pushed another finger inside her, enjoying how warm and wet she was, how she squeezed his fingers as he stroked her insides, the way she moaned his name. Time seemed to stop, everything else washed away as he lost himself in this moment with her. Israfel squirmed beneath him, panting as she came around his fingers, looking it at him with her big green eyes.

“Morning...” she said weakly.  
Cullen found himself chuckling at her, “Morning.”

He kissed her cheek and rolled off of her, silently praying that every morning would start so blissfully.

~~~

Israfel sat eating breakfast in silence, avoiding eye contact with Sunchild who had been mercifully quiet about finding them this morning. Gods that woman had already seen her naked twice and they hadn't even know eachother a day yet. How much more of herself would she have to share with Sunchild? Cullen had kept her talking, catching up with her, updating her on how his parents were. Her life sounded surprising uneventful for someone residing in the realm of the Gods, though from how she spoke she seemed grateful for it. 

Even with Sunchild sat in between them, Cullen’s song still thrummed in her head, quieting the symphony of Yu-Shan down to a whisper. It seemed their love making last night had joined them together in more than just body. Cullen kept glancing at her, eyes smiling warmly.

“Hey Israfel,” a metal hand was place on her forearm, “let’s go and get you into that kimono. You ned to look your best if you’re to meet with Luna today.”  
“We’re going to meet Luna?” Cullen asked, clearly shocked.  
“Well I’m going to try to get us to see her. She’s probably the best person to help you, she helped Lisara get her memories back.” She looked to Cullen, “She’s rather fond of your Mother, I figured we might be able to use that to get a favour or two.”  
Israfel filled with doubt, “You’re going to take me to meet one of the most powerful Gods in all of creation so I can ask her a favour?”  
“Exactly,” Sunchild said, standing up, “that’s why you have to look your best.”

Israfel was dragged to her feet and to her bedroom, Cullen shooting her a sympathetic glance as she left.

Closing the door behind them, a cat-like smirk spread across Sunchild’s face, “Just friends, eh?”  
“It just sort of happened!” Israfel blurted out.  
“Oh your first time together,” Sunchild put a hand on her heart and twirled round, “how romantic! And in Yu-Shan of all places! It’s like a fairy tale!”  
Israfel wanted the ground to swallow her up.  
“So tell me al about it.” She took hold of Israfel’s hands, “Did he whisper sweet-nothings in your ear? Did he take you in his arms and tell you he loves you?”  
Something about the woman put her at ease, kindness overflowing from her. Israfel found herself compelled to open up to her, “I... I kissed him and it just went on from there really.”  
“So you initiated it?” Sunchild was beaming, “You don’t seem like the type to do that!” She sat on the bed, pulling Israfel next to her. “Did he tell you he loves you then? Did you tell him?”  
“Love?” Israfel blushed.  
“Oh come on!” she said laughing, “I’ve been around you two less than a day and it’s so obvious how you feel about each other! Tell me, how does he make you feel?”  
She smiled looking to the floor, “Well he scared me a little to start with, but I felt drawn to him, drawn to his song. After my Dad died he was so kind to me, being around him would make me feel a little better. Like there was still something worth carrying on for.” Words kept spilling out of her mouth, “When he leaves it hurts, I get scared I’m not going to see him again. I... I need him.”  
Sunchild patted her knee, “Sounds like love to me. You should tell him.”  
Israfel smiled to herself, her heart swelled in her chest, “I guess I should.”  
“Now let’s get you dressed, you have a big day ahead of you!”  
“Thank you Sunchild.” Israfel said warmly.  
“Call me Sun, all my friends do.” 

Sunchild expertly wrapped the layers of fabric around Israfel, knowing exactly where to tuck it in to highlight her curves. The obi was pulled tightly around her, tied into an elaborate bow at the back. In her hair, Sunchild placed a simple hairpin of silver lilies made from delicate silk.

She was led back into the living area when Cullen was gazing at her in awe.

“You look beautiful.” He murmured, kissing her on the cheek. “It’s enough to impress any God!”

The three of them stepped outside into the moonlight. Israfel paused, the garden was overrun with silver foxes, sat staring at them. Under the lone sakura tree stood the figure of a woman who skin glowed as she basked under the moon. Nine silvery tails spread out behind her as she stood, eyes fixed on the three of them. She was draped in fabric that sparkled like the nights sky, the fabric so brief it left little to the imagination. Cullen yelped as he saw her, dropping to his knees and pressing his forehead into the grass, Sunchild followed suit, but Israfel just stood there, mesmerised by the ethereal figure before her.

The woman stepped forward and spoke, her voice enchanting, celestial, eyes focused on Cullen “I heard the son of the God-Slayer was here, I came to pay my respects.” Her eyes shifted to Israfel and she frowned, walking purposefully towards her, “What of human doesn’t bow in the presence of the great Goddess, Luna?”  
Israfel’s heart sunk, she had already offended the Goddess, there was no hope of finding any answers now.  
“No...” She stopped in front of Israfel, taking hold of her face with one hand, sharp claws digging in, “not human. So tell me star-child, why are you here?”


	14. Chapter 14

If it weren’t for the rough grasp the Goddess had on her face, Israfel might have fallen down. Not human? Her head was swimming, her legs weak, what did that mean? The Goddess’ song roared in her head, celestial choirs calling out to her.

“Speak child.” Luna’s voice was firm. “And you two, get up.”

Cullen and Sunchild scrabbled to their feet as Israfel’s story started to spill from her mouth. How she could hear the songs of essence in her head, how she could draw power from the melodies around her, the way music would materialise out of silence as her mother sung to her when she was a child, of the journey she had been on so far.

“How interesting.” Luna said, grinning, “Let’s have a better look at that mother of yours.”

Luna held up a long claw pressing the tip into Israfel’s forehead painfully. The Goddess pressed harder, plunging the claw into her skull. The pain stopped and the last thing Israfel saw was the fox-like face of the Goddess grinning at her, then her vision went black.

Stars exploded in her head, for the second time this week she was falling through essence, stars shooting past her as she tumbled through the air. Visions of her mother washed over her, painfully sweet memories she had tried to hide away. Her mother in the kitchen, turning to look at her, grinning brightly with flour smudged across her face. Sweet melodies floating around her as she was in her mothers arms as she sung to her. Quick kisses and loving looks her parents had shared. Lessons of The Wilds taught to her as they snuggled up in front of the fire. Her Father, clothes stained with blood, cradling her Mother’s body.

The world imploded around her. Israfel gasped as she was falling again, Luna in front of her with a toothy grin spread across her face. She landed in Cullen’s arms and was pulled in close.

“Are you okay?” He whispered to her.  
She stared at him, her head spinning, trying to reorientation herself to reality once again. Her legs trembled, it felt like she had fallen so far, her body still in shock, expecting her to crash into the ground at any moment. Luna had stepped back from her, tapping her cheek with a claw.  
“So that’s what she did one her last little excursion out.” Luna’s voice was playful, inquisitive.  
Israfel steadied herself, the world started to feel solid underfoot once again, “Excursion? My Mother was from here?”  
Luna flipped out a delicate silken fan and began fanning herself, “Dear, you’re Mother is here. Would you like to see her?”  
She jumped forwards, grabbing Luna’s arm, elated, overflowing with joy, “Yes! Oh yes please!”  
With her free arm raised to the sky, Luna pointed with a slender finger, “See that cluster of stars up there, that look like someone playing the harp?”  
Israfel followed her finger up to the stars, she could see them, twinkling against the dark backdrop. She nodded.  
“That’s the Musician, your Mother.” Luna said, lowering her arm.  
Cullen and Sunchild exchanged bewildered looks.  
Confused, Israfel stepped back, “My Mother is a... constellation?”  
Luna shook her head, “Yes and no, she’s the goddess of that constellation.”  
“Can I meet her?” She asked, wringing her hands together, anxiety rising in her as her mind filled with questions about her mother. Would she remember her? Would she be proud of her? How would a god react to the death of her human husband? Could Israfel stay with her? She looked to Cullen, could he stay with them?  
“No.” Luna’s voice was aloof, “If her vessel was killed, it will take centuries before she has the strength to make another.”  
Cullen’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, she leant into him. “That’s a lot to take in.” His voice soft in her ear, “How are you holding up?”  
She expected herself to cry, to throw herself into Cullen’s arms sobbing, but instead she was filled with serenity. Even if she couldn’t see her again, her Mother wasn’t entirely gone, and now she had the answers to questions she never realised were so important to her.  
Israfel reached up and squeezed Cullen’s hand, trying to reassure him. “I’m fine.” She looked to Luna, meeting the Goddess’ gaze, “Thank you Luna, you’ve been really helpful.”  
The moon goddess grinned, “I have more help to give, you are my kin after all.” The grin widened, a hint of malice in it, “Something tells me you’re going to need all the help you can get.”  
Cullen leaned in close, whispering in her ear, “Careful, she’s known to be the trickster goddess.”  
The grin instantly disappeared. “You are lucky you are one of mine wolf. I have written people out of existence for less.”  
“My patron,” Cullen bowed his head, “I beg your forgiveness...”  
She had never seen Cullen act with such reverence, usually he was such a casual person, even towards his own parents. Patron? What exactly was this God to him?  
Luna roared with laughter, “You mortals are such fun to tease. Now child of the stars,” she clapped her hands together, as she pulled them apart a silver dagger manifested in her parting hands, “take this, attune your essence to it, it should help you master your abilities.”

Israfel took hold of the dagger by the hilt, turning it over, studying it. The blade was long, razor sharp, with the phases of the moon engraved onto one side. The handle was padded with soft, white leather, topped with a pommel jewel that glowed faintly blue. The weapon felt comfortable and familiar in her hand.

“For my newest champion,” Luna pulled a ring off of her finger and tossed it to Cullen who snatched it out of the air, “pull the band of that ring wider, it leads to a pocket realm. You can store whatever you like in there, put your hand in there and think of whatever item you want and you’ll find it. Don’t leave your hand in there too long though, you never know what lurks in the dark.” She winked at him.  
“Luna, forgive me,” Cullen stepped forward, “will you answer some more questions for us? Can you tell us anything about the Abyssals?”  
“Tell Lisara that The Mask of Winters has risen again. She’ll know what is to be done.” The goddess cocked her head to the side, focusing on Israfel again, “I’m assuming you would like to go home now that you have your answers?”  
Israfel nodded reluctantly, remembering that she could have to hike down that mountain. Six days of rough sleeping and insipid food. She sighed to herself.  
“Don’t be so glum little one.” She said in a chipper voice. She clicked her fingers, a shimmery portal appeared in the space behind her, “My final gift to you is a shortcut home.”

Israfel and Cullen both bowed deeply. When they stood up to thank her once more she was gone, a large silvery fox was bounding away, yipping as if it were laughing. Sunchild snuck in between then pair, cosying up to the two of them.

“I’m coming with you.” She chirped.  
“But Sun...” Cullen pulled away from her, crossing his arms.  
“Not buts!” She held a finger up to his mouth, “Luna said Israfel would need as much help as she can get. I’m not about to abandon my new friend!”  
“Thank you Sun.” Israfel squeezed the other woman’s arm.  
“Don’t mention it. Plus I’m dying to go out drinking with Lisara again! That woman is wild when she’s on absinth, I love it.” She laughed heartily as she spoke.  
Cullen began to walk back into the house, “I’ll go get our bags then, see how well this ring Luna gave me works.”  
Sunchild nodded, letting go of Israfel, “I need to get some bits too.”

Bags packed away, Israfel took the lead stepping through the portal, Cullen and Sunchild following closely behind. The world warped around them, colours twisting together, blending and reforming. The elaborate structures of Yu-Shan vanished replaced with an overgrown clearing, surrounded by dense forest. Israfel’s chest grew tight, she knew this place... She turned around slowly, a familiar mossy shrine stood alone.

“Ah fuck.” Cullen grumbled.  
“Where are we?” Asked Sunchild, crouching down to examine the shrubbery.  
“We’re on the edge of The Wilds.” Cullen said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
Israfel walked to the shrine, placing a hand on it, “This is my old home...”  
“The great trickster strikes again.” Sunchild laughed, “Guessing we’re pretty far from Meruvia then.”  
“Cullen.” Israfel said coolly, “I want to leave here. Now.”  
She had just started to come to terms with Jared’s death, but being back here, it was all threatening to come crashing back, breaking her all over again. She needed to get as far away from her as possible.  
He nodded to her, “Let’s get moving, we have a lot of ground to cover.”  
She walked to Cullen and grabbed hold of his hand, needing to feel his warmth. “There’s a village about three miles from my house, we can figure out what we need to do when we get there.” 

They took a wide birth of the charred skeleton of Israfel’s lifelong home, she kept her eyes firmly on the ground ahead of her, she couldn’t bare to look. The fact that she could still smell smoke in the air was bad enough. Tear’s prickled her eyes at the thought of her home being left there to smoulder, everything her parents had worked for reduced to ash and cinder. Even the ground underneath her was scorched, uneven, but at least it gave her something else to focus on. Cullen kept his nose to the air, Israfel assumed he was trying to sniff out any potential threats. Sunchild’s usual bubbly demeanour was replaced with a solemn silence, her song resonating with the sorrow Israfel was filling up with.

The small village of Meyzn appeared on the horizon. Israfel stopped, frowning. There was none of the usual hustle and bustle of the small farming settlement, it was eerily quiet. No sounds of children playing or people working, no songs. There was a deafening silence, an eerie stillness to the usually busy village.

Cullen stopped next to her, screwing up his nose, “It stinks like death around here.” He squeezed her hand, “Stay close and keep your eyes open.”

As they grew closer to Meyzn the smell of rotting flesh filled Israfel’s nose. She whimpered, covering the lower half of her face with the sleeve of her kimono. The outer perimeter of the village was surrounded by a fence, designed to keep the farm animals in, it was too flimsy to keep anything out. From one of the posts hung the remains of a villager, the corpse too mutilated, to decomposed to discern who it once was. Israfel left out a yelp as she saw it, burying her face into Cullen’s arm.

He sighed, “Guess we need to keep going.”  
“Hey look! A car!” Sunchild exclaimed, Israfel couldn’t look up though, “That would speed things up.”

Sunchild skipped off, Cullen followed holding Israfel close to him. A cold chill ran down her spine, the smell of death overpowering as they entered Meyzn, bones cracking underfoot, her companions seemed so unfazed by the horror surrounding them. How different was the world they lived in than hers? The engine spluttered and died as Sunchild tried to start the rusted jeep, Cullen sighed.

“When was the last time you drove Sun?”  
She tapped her chin, “About 36 years ago I piloted a submarine into an underground volcano base.”  
Israfel was led to the passenger side, she sat down and rested her head on the dashboard, trying to ignore her surroundings, the smell of it turning her stomach.  
“Get in the back, I’ll drive. Hopefully this thing can get us closer to home.” Cullen muttered as he ushered Sunchild into the back before taking the drivers seat for himself.

The engine turned over and roared into life in Cullen’s hands as they drove away. It wasn’t until they were out of the village, the smell of decay a thing of the past that Israfel dared to look up. The scenery flew by in a blur. She felt a hand come to rest on her knee, squeezing it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked warmly. “I know how tough it must be, being back here.”  
Her mouth went dry, tongue sticking to the roof of it, “It’s too much, I can’t...”  
Sunchild’s arms draped over Israfel’s shoulders, enveloping her in a warm hug, “We’re all here for you Isu.”  
Isu? No one had ever given her a nickname before.  
“I’m sorry you couldn’t meet your Mother.” Sunchild squeezed her tighter.  
Israfel shrugged, the revelations about her heritage had been shocking, but Luna had given her some peace. “It’s alright, speaking to Mum was always kind of transcendental. At least now I know I can talk to her wherever I am.”

Thy had been driving for a half a day over uneven, forgotten roads. The car had been filled with long periods of silence interrupted by moments of idle chatter as Sunchild clearly got frustrated by the quiet introspection. Israfel glanced to Cullen, his hand had remained on her knee, only moving when he needed to change gear. She smiled looking at him, adoring the way he knew no words were needed, just his presence. The landscape was becoming familiar, they had walked this way. The abandoned town her and Cullen had sheltered at appeared in the distance, the sun setting behind it, giving it an eerie glow.

“We can stop here for the night,” Cullen yelled over the roar of the engine, “We might be able to find some more fuel too.”

Before anyone could voice an agreement, a dark figure stepped into the path of their vehicle. Cullen turned on the wheel sharply, shouting curses as the car rolled, the world spinning around them. Israfel was pinned to the seat, a massive arm held across her chest, preventing her from being tossed around like a rag doll. They lurched to a halt. Israfel blinked, trying to orientate herself, unsure how the sky had suddenly turned from orange to a muddy grey. The moment she realised she was upside down, she fell, landing painfully on her shoulder. A hand reached for her, brown, coppery skin smeared with blood. Israfel grabbed it, broken glass and gravel digging into her painfully as she was dragged out of the wreck.

Cullen was knelt before her, panting, a huge shard of glass sticking out of his bicep. He grasped it firmly, wincing as he pulled it out, blood ebbing from the wound.

“Cullen...” She reached for him.

He grabbed her hand, silver essence glowing around him, his transformation already beginning as he uttered one word to her.

“Run.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Run”

She looked around, bewildered, trying to make sense of what was happening. Cullen was before her, slick, black fur covering him, his snarling muzzle baring rows of sharp fangs, once soft, brown eyes now a piercing yellow. Israfel turned to look behind her, Sunchild was stood atop the car like an Amazonian warrior, golden aura flaring around her, a great lance grasped in her hand. 

Towards them walked the figure that had caused the crash, arms outstretched, a malicious grin spread across half their face. The other half was immovable, charred back with green embers burning underneath. His eyes bore into Israfel, his song screeching in her head.

“We will not be denied again half-breed.” His voice was like nails on a chalk board. “You don’t have that Infernal abomination to protect you this time.”

Israfel clambered backwards. She couldn’t understand what he meant, that she had been protected from him before, she had never seen this man before. Then the pieces fell into place. Was this the one..? The Abyssal that turned her world upside down. The one that took her Father from her.

“I told you to run.”

She looked up at Cullen, saliva dripping from his fangs. Run? Anger filled her, she reached for the dagger Luna gave her, pulling it from the make-shift sheath. She couldn’t run from this, she couldn’t let others protect her all the time. Israfel tried to get into a crouch but Cullen pushed her to the floor again and sprinted forward, leaping over the car. 

Sunchild jumped down from the wreckage, grasping the chasse in one hand, raising the whole vehicle overhead. She tossed it as casually as tossing a ball in a park. It crashed into the ground where the Abyssal had stood. Dust and debris flying everywhere. Israfel’s eyes were drawn up, he was in the air, blood red essence swirling around him. He landed, and barrelled towards her, but Cullen and Sunchild intercepted. A flurry of blows was exchanged, too fast for Israfel to even follow what was happening. Silver, gold and red essence erupting from the melee. 

Israfel lowered her dagger, the realisation that she was seriously outclassed here hit her. She looked to the blade, doubting herself, how could I ever have thought I could do this? These were Exalts, warriors, soldiers, and here she was, a farm girl caught up in their battles. Divine blood or not, she wasn’t a fighter. She looked behind her, debating whether to run, but loathed to leave Cullen behind. The Abyssal beasts that circled the perimeter made the decision for her, even if she ran she wouldn’t get far. Her attention turned back to the battle, the clashing as claw and lance met armour, the crackling of essence, the grunts of exertion. The attacker jumped back, Sunchild’s lance narrowly missing his face as he dodged away.

“Enough of this foolishness!” He snarled.

Blood erupted from his arms as eight thick black chains burst from his skin. Four of them darted towards Sunchild, constricting around her, pinning her arms to her side. She screamed, skin smouldering where she was bound. The Abyssal, gestured with his arm, chains breaking away from him, tossing a still bound Sunchild aside. She rolled around on the floor as her bindings grew tighter and tighter. The remaining chains turned their attention to Cullen, launching towards him. Even with his quick reflexes, he couldn’t avoid the onslaught. One chain wrapped around his already injured arm, the bladed tip digging into the still oozing wound. Everything started moving in slow motion for Israfel as she watched in abject horror. A second chain snaked around Cullen’s neck as he roared in pain, fur singed on contact. He was lifted off the ground, feet kicking, trying to find purchase. The chain around his arm, contorted, twisted, he let out an agonising scream just as there was a sickening crack as his arm was bent into a horrific angle. Cullen started gasping for breath as the chain tightened, his good arm scrabbling helplessly at his neck. 

A strangled cry escaped Israfel’s lips. It couldn’t end like this... She couldn’t lose him so soon after they had found each other, so much left unsaid between them.

Red, smouldering eyes focused on her, a wicked half grin on his face. He threw Cullen towards her, skidding to halt a few feet ahead of her. He laid their, limp. Israfel reached out to him with her essence, his song was still there, weak, but there. There was not time for her to rejoice though, the Abyssal had made his way over to the listless Cullen, chains raised high, deadly points aimed at him. Israfel screamed, stumbling towards him. She leapt in between the two arms crossed before her, the pommel of her dagger pulsing, glowing brightly. She could feel her essence pouring out of her. The chains came towards her with incredible speed. The air around her rumbled, rubble on the floor flying away from her feet. For an instant the chained paused inches away from her face, trembling in the rumbling air before shattering. A flicker of surprise crossed the Exalt’s before her snarled at her and grabbed her by the kimono, lifting her off of the ground.

“The Master will not have you sacrifice yourself, half-breed.”  
Israfel cried out slashing wildly with her blade until he grabbed her wrist. His strength incredible, as he held her fast in a vice-like grip.  
“You are not as pure as your mother was, but you’re body will do.” He pulled her close to his face, breath reeking of death, “Just imagine the power of Celestial blood mixed with that of a Deathlord! What a glorious broodmother you shall become!”

~~~

Cullen’s vision was narrow, being starved of oxygen had left his mind foggy. His arm was screaming out it pain as he managed to move himself into a seated position. As he began to processed the sight before him a tremendous anger started to fill him. Israfel was hanging above him, struggling, shouting, as that bastard tormented her. All he could hear was a whooshing sound in his ears, blood pumping wildly trying to make up for lost time. Cullen focused, his sensitive ears started to make out the words but his oxygen starved brain couldn’t make sense of them. Still, that anger rose inside him, filling him from his toes, creeping up and up, just like two years ago. How dare that monster lay it’s hands on his mate! She was his, and his alone. Then one word hit him, resonating through his head.

“...broodmother...”

Cullen saw red.

~~~

It was as if, just for a moment, she were being crushed. An arm as thick as a tree trunk slammed into her waist, smashing her into the body behind her, crushing her into the mass of muscles, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She looked up, a great maw with teeth as long as her fingers hovered above her. She was free of one monsters grasp, but now found herself in another’s. Then it let go of her, she was falling again, landing in a heap on the floor. This new monster dropped to it’s haunches over her, the arm that once held Israfel was now placed in front of her protectively. The other arm hung limp and useless beside her, the faint outline of a silver tattoo just visible through the thick black fur.

Israfel gasped, struggling to catch her breath. “Cullen!”

The great beast ignored her, snarling as it stepped forward. Whatever had Cullen had done had changed him drastically. He was now nearly twice as big as before, dense black fur covered his entire body, his bones twisted to better represent his wolf-aspect. Cullen was normally muscular, but this was another level all together, every move he made, great cords of muscle could be seen stretching and contracting. There seemed nothing of the humanity Cullen usually clung onto left, his face canvas for a beastial rage, his song had stopped, all she could heart of his essence was a thumping, the beating of his heart.

With a deafening howl the beast leap forward, knocking his prey to the ground. His jaws snapping through upheld arms like they were twigs, sinking into exposed flesh. Even when the body stopped twitching, he continued to rip it apart. Blood and sinew flying into the air as he buried his muzzle into the bodies soft torso. It was all over in an instant. The man that had seemed so threatening just a moment was now a limp pile of meat and bones.

“Can you stand?” A golden hand marred with deep burns reached for her.  
Israfel nodded and took Sunchild’s hand, “You’re hurt.”  
“Nothing time and a bit of meditation won’t fix.” She pulled Israfel to her feet and gestured to Cullen, “That on the other hand might be a bit trickier.”  
Israfel’s heart sunk as she watched the beast greedily tear strips of flesh from the corpse.  
“Go to him.” Sunchild pushed her forward.  
She swallowed hard, trying to push the fear she felt down. No matter how he looks it’s still Cullen... isn’t it? She started to doubt herself. He had been rough with her, her ribs still ached, but he had saved her... Tentatively she reached out a hand. She found herself trembling.  
A cold, wet nose nuzzled into her hand.  
She took hold of his muzzle, blood dripping onto her hands and turned his face to look at her, “What have you done?” She asked him.  
He whimpers at her, pushing his head into her torso.  
“Let’s get you inside, see what we can do about that arm.” Entangling her hand into his fur as she spoke.  
Cullen whimpered again, nudging her in the direction which they had come from.  
She shook her head, remember how he had once explained that Lunars lost to their transformation were drawn to The Wilds. She wasn’t going to let that happen. “No, we’re going home.”

Israfel led him to building they previously stayed it, Cullen limping slowly alongside her. It was just as she remembered it, even the packaging from their make-shift meal was just as they had left it. Cullen sat himself down in the corner and began licking at his injured arm.

“We need to try and set that arm.” Sunchild stated as she entered the room.  
“Yeah...” Israfel looked at Cullen doubtfully. “I don’t know much about the anatomy of... whatever he is right now.”  
“A bone is a bone.” Sunchild said as she knelt down beside him, “Get it straight and support it. He can get it fixed properly when we get back.”  
Cullen growled at Sunchild as she reached to examine his arm.  
“Hmmm...” She tapped her knee, “I’ll try and set it while you distract him, Israfel. Give me your obi, that should be sturdy enough to act as a splint.”  
Israfel remove her obi, her kimono sagged, losing some of it’s shape, but still held in place by the himo belt. Sunchild took it and nodded, telling Israfel it was time to begin.  
“Cullen, look at me.” She took his muzzle in her hands once more. “We’re gonna fix your arm now, it’s gonna hurt, but I need you to be brave.” She laughed, “What am I saying? Of course you’ll be brave, you’ve always been brave enough for the two of us.” She stroked his face, smiling as tears ran down her own.  
Sunchild was humming to herself as she was feeling her way down his arm. Her long golden fingers prodding into the hard planes of muscles. She found the break, the bones crunching together as she explored them. Cullen snarled into Israfel’s hand.  
“Just listen to me.” She kissed his nose. “Do you remember when we first met? I mean when you woke up. No one had ever spoken to me like that before! I was so scared of you!” He whimpered again, “Let me finish! But even then I think I liked you. I couldn’t get you out of my head, you wouldn’t believe the amount of times I almost gave into your flirting.”  
Cullen let out a deafening yelp as Sunchild took the break in between two hands and pulled sharply. Israfel stroked his head, whispering words of comfort to him.  
“That’s the best I can do for now.” Sunchild said kindly as she began to wrap the obi round his arm, Cullen still whimpering. “He’s lost control of his transformation, he needs to meditate to try and centre himself.”  
Israfel looked deep into his eye, he was there, she knew it, but just a little lost. “How do you get a wolf to meditate?"  
"I dunno.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Try sitting with him and meditating. It will give you a chance to attune to that dagger properly.” Sunchild must have noted the obvious look of confusion on Israfels face, “Just focus on your essence, the songs, forget about everything else. I’m gonna go outside, I’ll keep watch.”

Israfel nodded, still unsure but willing to try. She settled herself down in between Cullen’s arms, pushing her head into the underside of his jaw. Cullen shifted, using his enormous paw to pull her in closer, resting his head on her shoulder. She settled down in his embrace, ignoring the blood she could feel soaking into her clothes from his fur, focusing on the thrum of Cullen’s heartbeat, trying to centre herself.

She felt a pull on her essence from her dagger, it was calling out to her. Israfel tried to push her essence into the blade but it resisted her, pushing her back. She sighed to herself, feeling annoyance rising up. The blade continued to try and pull on her, yet wouldn’t accept her offering. Was this another trick by Luna? Perhaps a less forceful approach was needed. She tried to imagine herself unlocking a door between her and the blade, the key made from her own essence. The key didn’t fit. Think, Israfel, think. This was hardly the peaceful experience she had expected from meditating. Her mind still racing from all she had learnt, from what she had seen, from trying to attune to this stupid dagger. It was only the thrumming of Cullen’s essence keeping her centred.

Picturing herself sinking into soft pillows, Israfel tried to think of better times. If she couldn’t clear her mind, the best she could hope for was to try and spend this time focusing on something that wouldn’t annoy her the way that stupid dagger was, something more peaceful. In her mind Cullen appeared above her, his hair cascading around her, rough skin giving gentle touches. Her metaphysical self blushed so hard she as sure her physical body was blushing. No, that was a good thought, but definitely not peaceful. She pushed those thoughts away, saving them for another time.

Soft pillows became a soft lap. Delicate arms embraced her. Israfel looked up, she was in her mothers arms, her father sat beside them, she clearly took so much of her looks from both of them. Her mother was short like she was, they shared the same curvy body and delicate hands. Her mothers black hair flowed over her shoulders, stars sparkling within the waves as round silver eyes looked at her, she felt bright and ethereal. Had her mother always looked like this? Or was knowing what she knew now about her distorting the memories? Jared on the other hand was warm and earthy, his broad frame was comforting. She had inherited his green eyes and fiery red hair.

How old was she when they had sat like this? Was this even a memory or was it a creation of her own mind?

Her mother began speaking softly, words that Israfel knew from the books, stories of the Gods, of the nature of essence... How it was the lifeblood of all the realms, circulating around breathing life into Creation and beyond.

Israfel’s mind eye snapped open. That was it. Rather than pushing her essence into the dagger, she envisioned it flowing between the two of them. It worked, her essence coursed through the dagger, returning to her invigorated, as if it were her own blood and the dagger were an extension of herself, purifying it.

She opened her eyes, feeling essence coursing through her like it never had before.


	16. Chapter 16

The sky had turned from orange to pitch black, the moon nothing but a sliver in it’s current phase, the stars peppering the dark sky. There was a chill in the air but Israfel couldn’t feel it, a warm arm was wrapped around her, holding her close to an even warmer chest. Reaching to run her fingers over the arm, she as greeted by rough skin; grazed and scuffed. A sigh of relief escaped her; skin, not fur. Around them was a blanket, draped over the two of them. She looked around in confusion, certain she hadn’t covered Cullen before meditating. Then she noticed two piles of clean clothes, the ring that doubled as a storage realm placed on the larger set of clothes. At her feet a heart and winking face had been drawn in the dust on the floor. Israfel had to chuckle at the sentiment, Sunchild egging her on even in a place like this. Cullen grumbled against her pulling her closer.

“Did I wake you?” Israfel asked meekly.  
“I wasn’t sleeping.” His chin came to rest on her shoulder, “You saved me. I could feel your essence, it called me back.”  
She held his hand, “I didn’t really do anything...”  
A kiss landed on her cheek, his stubble tickling her, “You do more for me than you’ll ever know.”  
Her other hand reached to stroke his face, a beaming smile written across hers.  
“Turn around Israfel.” 

He relaxed his grip on her, allowing her to shuffle round to face him. Cullen’s face looked drawn, exhausted from the fight, from being pushed past his limits. Dried blood covered his face, Israfel gently wiped it away with her sleeve. His smile was pained, but still made Israfel swoon with his rugged charm. As she leant up to kiss him, he caught her chin in his hand, grasping it firmly. Israfel’s head was turned side to side as Cullen looked at her, searching.

His voice was pained as he spoke, “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”  
“No,” she whispered softly, “you were there to protect me.”  
“I... I didn’t hurt you?” He asked pulling her closer.  
“Of course you didn’t.” She put her arms around him, “You never would.”

She was pulled into him, into his kiss so fully of passion and yearning. The intensity of it causing her heart to pound in her chest. A shaking hand pulled at the fabric of her kimono, loosening it from around her breasts. Pulling away from him, Israfel could feel the heat rising from them both.

“Cullen?”  
“I need you.” The words nothing more than a whisper as he pulled at the fabric, freeing her breasts.  
Despite the warmth between them, her nipples hardened, begging for him. But her eyes were caught by her obi wrapped around his broken arm as it hung limply by his side. “You’re hurt.”  
Encircling her in his arm, she was pulled into a kneeling position, his tongue lapping hungrily at her breasts. “I don’t care,” he purred against her

A desperate whine escaped his lips as she shuffled away from him She found her own hands tracing the lines of his scars, the very thing that had started all of this, the wounds that brought them together. Across her face she could feel a furious blush spreading as an unfamiliar need began to swell inside her. The want to claim him in the way he had claimed her...

“Cullen...” the words almost stuck in her throat, “I want to taste you...”

Just for a moment shock flickered across his face. She faltered, fear that she had been to forward creeping up. Then a cocky smirk spread across his face, boosting her own confidence. Encouraged she bent down before him, his hand placed gently on her head, guiding her, stroking her hair. She paused, his massive cock so close to her face and she was clueless on what to do with it. And Cullen in his infinite kindness just smiled at her, taking her hand in his own.

"You don't have too."  
"I..." she sat red faced staring at his cock, "I want to..."  
"Like this then..." He purred, bringing her fingers up to his mouth.

Israfel copied him, lavishing him with her tongue, making him slick with his saliva, moans escaping his lips as his hand gripped hers even tighter. Ever so slowly she took him into her mouth, struggling to fit his girth into her.

"Gods Israfel..." He released her hand, taking hold of her hair and slowly guiding her rhythm, "use you're hands too..." he pleaded. 

She did as he asked. Cullen leant back, moaning her name as she claimed him, his body trembling. 

His hand gripped her hair tighter, pulling her off of him, “Come up here...”

Knowingly, she nodded at him, bringing herself up to him, straddling him. It was her turn to tremble as he pulled her underwear aside and guided her as she mounted him. Her body was still tender from their first time, she whimpered as he entered her. He nuzzled into her neck, whispering wording of comfort and encouragement to her. With his hand he grabbed at her hips, directing her movements as she held onto him. Her release came quickly and she whimpered as he continued to pull her onto him. Their hips crashed together, Cullen holding her flush with him as she could feel his explosion inside of her.

The passion they had just shared overcame her, the fear of losing him with words left unsaid. Sunchild was she needed to tell him. Israfel took his face in both hands and looked him deep in the eyes, “I... I love you Cullen.” Her voice breathy with exertion. Trepidation started to creep through her, that fear of rejection. She had known him less than a month, it was barely more than a day since she had first given herself to him. She found herself questioning if it was too soon for such words.  
All her fears were negated as a dopey grin spread across Cullen’s face, eyes brimming with tears, “I love you to.” He whispered. “You’ve breathed life into me when I thought there was nothing left...”  
Elated, she threw herself onto him, embracing him tightly, planting kisses over his dopey grin, tears of joy filling her eyes.  
A pained wheeze escaped him as he flinched in her embrace, “Watch the arm though, that fucker hurts.”  
Sliding off of him, she re-adjusted her kimono, “Sorry... maybe we should get dressed and find Sun, figure out what the next step is.”

After dressing herself in the clean clothes laid out for her, the military fatigues that Sunchild must have had washed for them, Israfel assisted Cullen to dress. Tearing her ruined kimono apart, she fashioned a make-shift sling for his arm. The cool outside air hit them as they scanned the area looking for Sunchild, find her sat atop the wreck smiling and waving at them. 

“Hey you two!” She ushered them over to her, “I had an idea, but wanted to run it past you first.”  
Taking care to avoid looking at the grotesque display left on the floor, Israfel led Cullen to their companion.  
“What were you thinking?” Cullen asked, leaning against the car.  
“Well we’re out of range for contacting your parents or Meruvia, but,” she tapped her chin, “what about An-Teng?”  
Cullen chuckled, “I doubt Lisara would have tried it last time we were here, she’s too stubborn to ever ask them for help. So it’s worth a shot.”  
“We’re closer to An-Teng than Meruvia, there might be a signal out here.” Stated Sunchild.

Holding up his hand, an orange interface burst to light around it. A voice began chirping from the interface in a language Israfel couldn’t understand, the words had an odd staccato feel to them, the voice almost monotone. Cullen replied, his usually deep voice now an octave higher to help navigate itself around the foreign language. The voice replied, it’s tone sounded annoyed. Sunchild threw a thumbs up at Israfel, clearly impressed her plan had worked. Then a nearly familiar voice sounded through the interface, Israfel recognised the lilt of it, but it was deeper than the last time she had heard this accent.

“Get out of the way you idiot.” A crash could be heard, as if someone he been roughly shoved aside, “Cullen is that you?”  
“Eddard! Thank the Gods we could get hold of you!” The usual deep ton returned to Cullen’s voice.  
“Why? Where are you?” There was the clacking of a keyboard on the other side, “What in the Seven Hells are you doing out there?”  
“Luna was up to her usual tricks.” Sunchild interjected.  
Eddard snorted through the communicator, “You’re there too Sunchild, of course.” Their voice flat, unimpressed. “I will come and get you. Also, I will let your mother know that you are well.”  
The communication was shut off from the other side before anyone could utter a thanks.  
“She sounded different...” Mused Israfel.  
“They.” Cullen corrected her.  
Confused, Israfel cocked her head to the side.  
“They don’t like gendered pronouns like he or she, they prefer something a little more neutral as they change their gender depending on how they’re feeling that day.” Replied Cullen.  
She smiled at him, “I’ve read a little about people like that, I hope I never offended them.”  
Sunchild put am arm around her, “Eddard might not look it, but they’re tough as old boots. I doubt you said anything, but if you did they wouldn’t mind.”  
“Thank you Sun.” Israfel replied with a smile.  
“Anyway,” the woman stretched, joints cracking as she did, “we have at least a few hours until pickup. I’m gonna try and do something about these burns.”

~~~

Relaxing back into the bed, arms bound above her head, Lisara breathed a heavy sigh. Across her chest laid Evelyn, asleep. Coils of black hair framing her face, plump, brown lips parted as she gently snored. Lisara examined her wife’s features, even the deep umber of her brown skin was never enough to hide the furious blushes Lisara could tease out of her. Every day Lisara was grateful to have this beautiful woman in her life, someone who loved her despite the magnitude of her sins, a woman kind enough to guide her through the depths of her despair. She owed her life to Evelyn, without her intricate knowledge of Lisara’s almost completely artificial body, she would have been dead ten times over. But more it was more than life and love Evelyn had given her, she had given her a family. Lisara, last of the Tepet family, Meruvia’s oldest and greatest heroes, had given up her body and chance of family long ago. First when, as a teenager she had dedicated herself to the service of the Royal Family as a soldier in The Legion of Silence where distractions such as love and family were frowned upon. The true abandonment of it all came when she donated her body to the Alchemical project, stripping her of almost all of her biological parts. Her left arm and legs replaced with robotic prosthetics, her right arm integrated with essence technology, all her internal organs removed to make more room for essence processing. All that remained of her original body was her brain and nervous system, over the years her Exaltation had infiltrated any remaining scraps of her flesh, fusing it with soulsteel. Looking at Evelyn, she smiled, mercifully she had still been left with the ability to enjoy intimacy with her wife, one of the few thing that made her feel human. It was Evelyn who had figured out how to bind their DNA together, how to incubate it, how to keep it safe as it grew into their child.

Her mind wandered to thoughts of her son. Watching him repeat her patterns of self-loathing and despair had broken her heart. Throughout his life she had protected him and given him the tools to protect himself but it had all fallen apart in a one horrific day, leaving him a broken man. Evelyn had supported her though her loss and trauma, but he had lost the one that could have done that for him. She frowned, remembering how her and Evelyn had found him in a beastial form, devouring those who had taken everything from him. Evelyn had used her Solar Exaltation and the close bonds the Lunars once shared with the Solars to coax him back to humanity. He had never forgiven Lisara for her perceived coldness as she tattooed the moonsilver charms into his arm as he held Felicity as he wept. Lisara had already lost one family member that day, her future daughter-in-law, she wasn’t going to lose her son too.

Cullen had begun to change again though. He was still fearful and troubled, but his time spent with Israfel seemed to be easing his old pains. His first interactions with her might have been typical, trying to bed her to find a moment of warmth to distract from the hurt, but he had backed off, instead showing her genuine affection. Never before would he have willingly given up time he could have spent drinking and fucking to help someone else. Lisara just prayed that the girls own reservations wouldn’t get in the way of them both finding happiness. A faint beeping interrupted her train of thoughts, Evelyn’s Omnitool lit up.

Hand’s still bound, Lisara nudged Evelyn with her foot, “Evelyn, someone is trying to get call you.”  
Evelyn murmured in her sleep for a moment before her eyes flew open, “Wha... What?!” Tapping her wedding ring, the interface came to life, “It’s Eddard...”  
“Evelyn, are you there?” Their voice cool as usual.  
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Evenly drowsily spoke, “Eddard, do you know what time it is? Why are you calling me?”  
“I have spoke with your son. He and Israfel as stuck out near The Wilds with Sunchild. I am on my way to extract them.”  
“Why are they out there?” Lisara asked, butting in on the conversation.  
“Apparently Lunar tricked them.” Replied Eddard. “I will bring them to An-Teng, from there I shall set them on course to Meruvia.”  
“Thanks!” Chirped Lisara.  
Eddard was clearly frowning as they spoke, “I am not doing this for you Lisara. I am doing it for my sister and her son.”  
The communication shut off and Lisara grinned at her wife, “Sounds like we have the house to ourselves a little longer...”  
“Would you like me to untie you?” Said Evelyn as she traced a line down in between Lisara’s small breasts.  
Lisara strained against the restraints, bed creaking, “No, you’re so cute when you’re in control.”  
“And you’re cute when you pretend like you couldn’t just break out of those bonds!”


	17. Chapter 17

There was to be no reprieve from the nausea she felt. Israfel sighed as she was hurried off of one aircraft by Eddard only to be greeted by the sight of a familiar Meruvian plane being prepared for take-off. Once again the flight had given her a terrible sickness rendering her unable to speak. Cullen had sat holding her trying to ease her suffering with gentle words while Sunchild and Eddard conversed about the political climate of Yu-Shan. Israfel wanted a break, just enough time to shower and eat something was all she wanted, but instead she was being hurried along, pushed from pillar to post by people far stronger and more important than her. Ever since her father passed away she felt as if all control had been take from her life.

The pathway to the next flight was blocked by a solitary woman. Her heavy red robes, illustrious golden pauldrons and ornate headdress demonstrating her wealth and importance. Her face was painted white, with heavy red and black makeup in bold lines highlighting her features but making her expression unreadable. On her neck was a glowing silver tattoo, similar to Cullen’s but with a full moon rather than his crescent one. Her song was a cacophony of drums, she was another Exalt. A Lunar like Cullen, Israfel guessed, but her song was so strong and confident, her slight body masking great spiritual strength. They approached her slowly, stopping a few feet away and Eddard bowed, Cullen and Sunchild did likewise. Not wanting to offend another person of importance, Israfel bowed as well.

“Explain to me Eddard,” her voice was quiet but full of authority, “why have you wasted our militaries time ferrying these people around?”  
“Forgive me Empress Kagura,” Eddard said, sill bowed, their voice shaking, “this is my nephew, Cullen, and his friends. They have found themselves embroiled with the fight against the Abyssal threat.”  
Empress Kagura walked forward gracefully, almost as if she were gliding. She lifted Cullen to his full height with a single finger placed under his chin. “Cullen Bell, it was you who slew that Abyssal for me, was it not?”  
“Yes your Highness.” He replied.  
“Then you have my thanks.” Her voice sweet like honey, “Will you continue to fight?”  
Cullen’s eyes flickered to Israfel, “If I have to.”  
She nodded, “I am pleased to see you lack the usual bloodlust your aspect inspires.” Kagura’s hand was placed on Israfel’s head, “Stand child, I have a feeling one such as yourself shouldn’t be bowing to me.” Kagura said as she summoned Israfel to stand up straight.  
Israfel’s heart pounded as the Empress stood before her, her face emotionless.  
“Now tell me, jut what are you?”  
She swallowed, “My... my father was human, but Luna told me my Mother was The Musician.”  
The usually reserved Eddard gasped.  
Empress Kagura smiled, “Now that is an interesting heritage you have.” She lifted Israfel’s chin, “I have a feeling that a child born from such light will be valuable in our fight against the darkness. What is your name?”  
“I... Israfel...” She stammered.  
“The Angel of Music, a fitting name for you.” The Empress turned to Eddard, her smile instantly dropping, “Eddard, you will go to Meruvia with Israfel. You will help her in whatever way she needs.”  
Eddard’s song hit a mournful tone, “But Empress...”  
Kagura reached to them and stroked their face, “Eddard, I will see you again soon.” She turned her attention back to Israfel, “The Tengese military will work with Meruvia, you will not face this alone.”  
Israfel looked to Cullen and smiled, “No, I won’t.”

~~~

Finally her feet were on solid ground, safe in the knowledge that they were going to remain there for the time being. She was longing to throw herself into bed after a long shower, but the look on Lisara’s and Evelyn’s faces when they saw them told her that wasn’t going to happen. With a yelp, Evelyn ran over to them, examining the meatball job Sunchild had done on Cullen’s arm, frowning.

“You let yourself get injured. Again.” It was Lisara who spoke first.  
“LISARA!” Sunchild barrelled forward, throwing herself on Lisara.  
The two women fell to the floor, embracing each other as they laughed wildly. “Sun, you bitch! Why has it taken fifteen years to come and see me?”  
Evelyn exhaled sharply as she looked at the two of them. Her face screwed up and she turned to Cullen. “Let’s go inside and I’ll fix this properly.” Her voice was terse and filled with annoyance.  
“Indeed,” Eddard pushed their glasses up, “I believe we have a lot to discuss Evelyn.”

Untangling herself from Sunchild, Lisara jumped up, Evelyn immediately grabbing her hand. The four members of the Bell family all started making their way back to the mansion. Staying behind, Israfel studied Evelyn’s body language, listening intently to her song. The moment she had seen Sunchild her entire body tensed, even as she walked away holding Lisara’s hand, her shoulders were still tight, her movements stiff. Her song was quiet, reserved, lacking the usual high crescendos it played when Lisara was near. Next to Israfel stood Sunchild, dusting herself off, a huge grin on her face.

“I guess Evelyn is still bitter...” Sunchild muttered, rubbing the back of her neck.  
Israfel smiled, “I think it’s sweet that she’s still so in love with her.”  
“Those two are literally the cutest.” Sunchild leant into Israfel, her nose almost touching her cheek, Sunchild’s typical cheshire-cat grin plastered on her face, “You and Cullen have a lot to live up to.”  
“I jut hope we’re given the chance to try.” She replied, remembering their recent encounter with an Abyssal. The terror she felt as Cullen was being strangled, the revulsion at being told she was to be taken away and...  
Sunchild clapped her on the back, interrupting her reflection, “You will do. I’ll make sure of it.” She winked at her, “Come on, I’m sure everyone is waiting to hear your story.”

~~~

“So let me get this straight.” Lisara was drumming her fingers on the arm of her sofa. “You’re a half-god and the Abyssals are after you so they can breed you with the Deathlords?”  
Evelyn was sat with Lisara, she sighed and rubbed her temples, “That is a rather grim prospect.”

At Israfel’s feet sat Cullen, his once broken arm had been healed by a simple touch from Evelyn pouring some of her essence into the injury. She was grateful for the closeness of him; it helped quieten the roaring sounds of essence from the gathering of Exalts. Laid across her lap was his tail, she had been stroking it absent-mindedly the whole time, his fur bristled when Israfel had repeated what the Abyssal had said to her. It did so once again when Lisara brought the subject up once more.

“It is an easy issue to resolve,“ Interjected Eddard from their kneeling position on the floor, “we just keep Israfel away from them.”  
Waving a hand dismissively, Sunchild joined the conversation, “But what are they gonna do to try and find her? They’ve been reaching out further than just a few villages on the edge of creation.”  
“We’re all strong enough to deal with them, and we’re not the only Exalts in creation. We could hide her in Yu-Shan while until we push them back.” Cullen added in a confident tone.  
Lisara shook her head, “They infiltrated Yu-Shan once before, they could easily do it again.” She tapped her nose, “Perhaps the realm of the Infernals, I do have some clout over there.”  
Israfel could feel her face grow red, she was tired, hungry and fed up. Listening to the way she was being talked about was the last straw. “I’m right here you know!” She practically yelled as she stood up, knocking Cullen aside. Everyone turned to look at her, clearly surprised by her sudden outburst “I’m not some piece of cargo to be ferried around! I did not lose everything to spend my life running and hiding!” Israfel could feel her face getting redder, “And I won’t have my friends fight and die for me while I cower away somewhere!”  
A huge grin spread across Lisara’s face, “Then what do you propose Israfel?”  
“Cullen, you’ve seen me use essence in fights before,” she looked down at him as she spoke, “and you’re all so skilled at using yours... teach me to use it, teach me to fight and...” her confidence faulted as she realised all eyes were on her, “... and... I’ll find a way...”  
“No.” The soft tones of Cullen’s voice were gone, his words were harsh and firm.  
“Wha... what?” She felt crushed, embarrassed at being shot down, especially by Cullen of all people.  
“Now Cullen, don’t be so hasty.” Said Eddard calmly, “If she wants to be more than a passive piece in this game, I say let her.”  
The grin across Lisara’s face widened, “We just need to figure out what your essence does.”  
Evelyn pushed her glasses up her face, “From what I’ve heard it doesn’t follow the usual pattern of charm use. It might take a lot of research to understand it.” Her voice full of excitement at the prospect of being able to study celestial essence.  
“No!” Cullen leapt to his feet and grabbed Israfel’s face, “I won’t lose you. Not to the Abyssals... not to anyone.”  
Ever so gently she place a hand on his chest, ignoring the knowing smiles Lisara and Evelyn were sharing, “Then help me Cullen.”  
“But...” He whined.  
Beside them appeared Lisara, “It’s not your choice son.”  
A sigh escaped his lips as he pressed their foreheads together for a moment before turning to his mother, “There is one more thing Lisara, Luna told us to tell you that ‘The Mask of Winters has risen again.’”  
Lisara and Evelyn both groaned in unison.  
“Is that bad?” Israfel asked, still not breaking contact with Cullen.  
With a shrug Lisara replied, “It’s about as bad as any other Deathlords being involved. It’s just...” she sighed, “we’re going to need some help from someone I never wanted to see again.”  
“I think we’ve had enough of this talk for the moment.” Evelyn stated firmly, “Lisara, Eddard, come help me with dinner, the rest of you, go get washed up.”

~~~

Hot water cascaded over her, stinging the cuts and grazes across her back. Still, it felt good to be clean again. She wondered how she had managed before without running water. It was astounding how filthy she had managed to get in just two days, though it had all been from one brief moment. A shudder ran down her spine, remembering the twisted distorted face so close to her, threatening to take her away, the cries of pain he had extracted from Cullen. She never wanted to hear Cullen make those noises ever again... Another shudder ran down her spine, this time it was from a finger gently tracing the lines of her back.

She blushed under the hot water, “Cullen I’m showering!”  
“I don’t care.” He purred in her ear.  
“You’re terrible!” Israfel replied chuckling.  
As she turned to look at look at him, Cullen exhaled sharply, “I thought you said he didn’t hurt you.”  
“He didn’t. What are you talking about?” She reached for his hands.  
Cullen backed away from her, “Then I did that to you?”

She looked down herself to where Cullen’s eyes were fixed to. A large purple bruise stood out sharply against the milky white skin of her abdomen. Her stomach knotted; Cullen had done this to her. Not intentionally, he had grabbed her so hard in his beastial form, but it had saved her.

“Cullen... Come here.” Israfel tried to grab his wrist, pull him close to her, but he was immoveable. “It’s just a bruise, I got it when you grabbed me and pulled me to safety. You know what they want to do to me. This bruise is better.”  
He relaxed a little, enough to be guided under the water, but his movements were still stiff, his eyes full of agony.  
“It doesn’t hurt,” she pushed herself against him, “I’d honestly forgotten about it until now.”  
Reaching up his hand to her face, trembling, “I haven’t frightened you away?”  
She took his hand and hand it to her cheek, “I’m still here aren’t I?”  
He was shaking all over, “But what if I do it again?”  
Israfel wrapped his arms around her, “Then kiss it better.” She put her own arms around his neck, “Kiss me better Cullen.”

Pressing her body had the desired effect, she wanted to distract him from his pain, she wanted him. A low grumble rose from deep inside him as he kissed her, lifting her off of the floor and pressing her against the cool tiles.


	18. Chapter 18

Sweat dripped off the end of Cullen’s nose. He dodged to the right just as a massive crystal blade buried itself into the ground where he once stood. At the other end of the blade was Lisara, wielding the weapon that was as tall and wide she was, in just one hand. In her other hand was a simple black handgun. Without even turning to face him, Lisara casually aimed the gun at his head. Shit, he thought to himself, there’s no way I can dodge this, not at this range, not with her targeting charms. The barrel of the handgun flashed and Cullen’s head snapped back with the force of the impact. He used that momentum to flip, knowing Lisara wouldn’t let up, even in training she was ruthless. Somersaulting into the air, Cullen narrowly avoided another onslaught from Lisara’s sword. Then he saw it, an opening where she had had got complacent with him. Her sword swung down at him while he was still airborne, he twisted in the air, the blade trimming the fur of his tail. He took advantage of the downward motion, planting his feet on the edge on the blade, his weight pushing it deep into the soil. Feet crying out in pain from the razor edge, Cullen ran up the blade and slashed at Lisara with his long claws. He stopped a millimetre from her throat and smirked at her.

“Impressive, but remember I have two weapons.” She nodded downwards.

Looking to where she indicated, Cullen frowned, the barrel of her gun was pressed into his stomach, the trigger a hair’s breadth from firing. So close, he had still never beaten Lisara in a sparring match, even with her holding back for him.

“Where is the bullet?” Her head cocked to the side.  
His smirk opened up into a grin, the bullet clamped firmly in between his teeth. Spitting it aside Cullen jumped to the floor and wiped the sweat from his face.  
Lisara placed a hand on his shoulder, “You’ve improved a lot in a short amount of time.”  
“Thanks Lisara.” He looked to his mother and chewed his lip. Lisara wasn’t the easiest woman to talk to, to open to, but since almost losing himself to another transformation he had longed to speak with her. Desperate to heal the wounds he had inflicted on their relationship.  
With a flick of her wrists, both her weapons vanished, she smiled warmly at him, “Cullen, tell me what’s on your mind.”  
Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, “Lisara, I... I’m sorry.”  
Surprise flickered across her face for an instant, then was replaced by a sympathetic smile, “Come sit with me and then you can tell me what this is all about.”  
Mother and son settled down in a small sandy garden, large rocks buried into the sand.  
“Now Cullen, what’s happened son?” She leant forward towards him.  
With a heavy sigh Cullen spoke, “It happened again Lisara.”  
Lisara tensed, “What happened again?”  
“Like when I Exalted, when Felicity died. I saw red.” Sadness resonating through his voice as he spoke quietly.  
His hand was grasped by Lisara, “You pushed yourself passed your limits. But you’re here now, so it’s ok.”  
Cullen shook his head, “I almost got lost again, it’s a terrifying feeling. So, that’s why I’m sorry Lisara. I’ve been angry at you for so long because I felt you cared more about my Exaltation than me. All I wanted was you to hold me while I wallowed in my misery but instead you engraved that rune into my arm.” He rubbed his temples, “I get it now, I know you we’re trying to do your best for me. I’m so sorry.”  
Lisara squeezed his hand, “I’m sorry too Cullen. I probably could have handled that better, I was just afraid of losing you. I know I’m not the best Mother in the world, I didn’t have a great role model.”  
Cullen’s ears pricked up, Lisara had never opened up to him about her own parents before.  
“Though she was hardly around, I always felt crushed by the weight of her expectations. Even after her death I always lived in her shadow, people looking at what a pale imitation of her I am. I fear I’ve followed in her footsteps in some ways though, always pressuring you to serve your country in the way I failed too.” Her voice mournful.  
“You tried your best though, I’ve just been a dick for not seeing it.” Replied Cullen, meeting Lisara’s gaze. “Considering everything that’s happening now, I’m pretty grateful for how hard you always pushed me with training.”  
She smiled at him, “You’ve found something worth fighting for again.”  
Warmed by the rare show of affection, Cullen returned the smile, “Is it that obvious?”  
Lisara nodded, “It’s been obvious for a long time, neither of you have been particularly subtle.”  
“A long time?” Cullen tapped his nose, “But we’ve only just gotten together...”  
His mother stood up and offered him a hand, “You may have only just started sleeping with her, but your affection has been obvious from the moment I picked you two up from that abandoned town. I’m glad you took your time with her.” Cullen could feel himself flush, this was reserved for Lisara, usually she was much cruder with him when talking about his interaction with women. But she was right, even if a month wasn’t particularly slow, considering he had tried to sleep with her the moment he met her, a month was practically a lifetime. Taking her hand, he hoisted himself to his feet, “Let’s go see how she’s doing. I wonder what Evelyn and Eddard are doing to her.”

~~~

Seeing Cullen walking towards her was a blessed relief. His tall, muscular frame dripping with sweat was a welcome sight. For the last hour she had been staring at a watermelon, trying too will it to explode, the same way the snakes tail did, or the way she had shattered those chains. But she felt nothing from her essence, it stirred inside her but she had no idea how to make it project outwards. Eddard had been going on about the flow of essence, demonstrating his own charms as he flickered in and out of existence, manipulating time so he would know what would happen before it occurred. Evelyn had been silent other than the occasional mutter, her Omnitool focusing on Israfel, bathing her in an orange glow.

He waved at her, “How’s it going?”  
Eddard shook his hand and spoke before she had a chance to reply, “Fruitless so far.”  
“It’s still early days.” Evelyn said with a sigh. She switched her Omnitool off, “Perhaps we should spend some time in the lab, run some more tests.”  
Israfel groaned, she had already spent the morning hooked up to Evelyn’s computer. Electrodes stuck all over her, telling them nothing more than what they already knew. That she had a strong connection with her essence but no charms to channel it through.  
“What about some combat training?” It was Lisara who spoke now, “It seems like you can use your essence when under stress, perhaps a good fight might trigger something.”  
Cullen wrapped her in his arms protectively, “Shouldn’t we figure out what Israfel’s essence can do first?”  
“You don’t need charms for basic CQC.” Replied Lisara, shaking her head.  
Israfel looked around nervously, everyone here was so much stronger than her and she had never even been in a scuffle, let alone a real fight before.  
“What do you want to do?” Cullen said softly to her.  
“I’ve never thrown a punch before, I wouldn’t know where to start...” She said meekly.  
“Come Israfel,” Lisara said, beckoning her over, “we shall start your training now then.”  
“You’re going to train her?” Cullen’s voice was full of doubt.  
Eddard crossed his arm, “I guess it would be impossible for The Mask of Winters to get their hand on Israfel if you’ve already killed her.”  
With a click of Lisara’s fingers, the sleeve of Eddard’s kimono burst into flames. They quickly extinguished it with a flash of purple essence before storming off, muttering in under their breath. Evelyn just shook her head at Lisara.  
“You all seem to have forgotten I trained Cullen when he was a child.” Lisara turned to look at him, “Did I ever injure you?”  
Relaxing his hold on Israfel, Cullen spoke slowly, “Other than a few scrapes and bruises, no...”  
Israfel pulled away from Cullen and grinned at him with her hands clasped in front of her. There was a rush of excitement coursing through her, the chance to make a grab for her own future rather than stand around while everyone else did everything for her.  
“Don’t worry, you get a shower and I’ll see you later.” Her smile beaming.

~~~

Israfel’s earlier enthusiasm was gone. Her knuckles were bleeding, her arms and legs bruised and aching. Lisara was a harsh teacher, she had given little instruction on the basics before declaring it was time to spar. The hum of essence alerted her to another incoming attack before she could see it. Ducking underneath the flying fist, Israfel threw a punch towards Lisara’s exposed abdomen. A black metal hand blocked the blow and Israfel cried out in pain as her raw knuckles grated against the metal plates of Lisara’s hand.

“I think this is a good time to stop.” Lisara’s voice was firm.  
Israfel breathed a sigh of relief and dropped into a seated position.  
Dropping into a squat in front of her, Lisara frowned, “Are you alright?”  
Rubbing her aching hands she nodded, “I think so, I just wasn’t expecting to fight you on the first day of training.”  
“I was always thrown into the deep end when I was learning, I did the same with Evelyn and Cullen. The results speak for themselves.” Lisara wiped a smudge of dirt off Israfel’s face, “It already seems that it’s working well for you.”  
“Really?” She managed a smile.  
“You’re lacking in killer instinct but you make up for it with determination. I’m pleased to see it.” Lisara’s frown deepened. “I don’t want to see Cullen heartbroken again.”  
A blush spread over Israfel’s face.  
Lisara continued, either oblivious or ignoring Israfel’s reddening face, “You’re also starting to learn to use that essence of yours for more than just reading peoples emotions.”  
It was Israfel’s turn to frown, she still hadn’t managed to project her essence outward, so what did Lisara mean?  
“I didn’t pull my speed on that last punch as much as the other ones. Most humans would have ended up with a broken nose or worse.” Lisara grinned, “But you heard it coming didn’t you?”  
Israfel tapped her nose, a gesture she’d picked up since living here, “I guess I did, the sound of your essence revved up.”  
Lisara nodded, “Good, good. Evelyn will heal those cuts and bruises of yours.” Her grin widened and she winked at Israfel, “We can’t have you all beaten up and bruised for Cullen.”

Her blush deepened, she was at a loss for words. Bemused by the fact his mother was so open about her relationship with Cullen, able to joke about it. It was a sharp contrast to her father who had always been so protective over her, to the point where he’d traded her romance books away. She smiled to herself, despite the loss of her father, a man she had always derived her strength from, she was finding new ways to learn and grown in this new family. Cullen was her rock, he’d helped her heal her wounds, given her the love she needed to forge ahead in the new world she had been thrust into. Evelyn helped her keep her feet on the ground with her warmed and words of wisdom. A wisdom that was further fed by Eddard’s calm, collected demeanour they always held. As for Sunchild, her namesake was accurate, Israfel’s first female friend, lighting her up with her infectious joy. Israfel looked to Lisara, she was probably the hardest of her new family to read, her personality swinging so violently from an extroverted teaser and joker, to blank nothingness. She understood why Cullen found it difficult growing up with such inconsistency, but still there were so much determination and dedication to her family from this woman, it was easy to feel like she could do anything with her as a teacher.

“Are you hurt?” Lisara took hold of her chin, “Why are you crying?”  
Crying? Israfel didn’t realise she was. She smiled brightly despite the tears, “I’m just happy to be here with you all. It might not be under the best circumstances but... I’m so grateful to you all”  
Lisara nodded, “You don’t need to say anymore. We’re happy to have you here, you’ve given us our son back.”  
Israfel beamed at her, glowing with the knowledge that these weren’t one sided relationships, the she was able to give something back to them.  
“Right, stop crying now! I don’t want Cullen getting mad at me so soon after we just made up!” Lisara laughed as she stood up.  
Wiping away her tears, Israfel stood up wincing. Every muscle was starting to ache, “Oww... parts of me I didn’t even know I have hurt.”  
“Better stick to your own room tonight so you actually get a chance to rest up then!” Lisara said still laughing.  
Covering her face with her hand, Israfel could feel the heat radiating off of her.


	19. Chapter 19

“Relax.”

It was Cullen’s deep voice in her ear, speaking softly to her.

The idea of relaxing seemed like an impossible dream though. For days Lisara had been telling her to focus, to stay alert, keeping her constantly on edge, trying to push her towards the fighting spirit she was definitely lacking in. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to fight, it was just that she spent her whole life healing others before coming here, trying to hurt someone felt so alien. Not to mention, how was she to relax with Cullen so close to her? His hard body pressed against her, his arms holding hers outstretched before her. She exhaled, closing her eyes to try centre herself, try to relax. In her head Cullen’s symphony echoed around gently, a soothing melody, she clung to it.

“That’s better.” He purred in her ear.

Israfel opened her eyes, gaze focusing on the melon, placed on a rock a few feet in front of her. Explode, crack, move, just do something! Everything else went quiet as another song, unfamiliar burst into life, different from anything she had heard before. A lone voice, their song bright and joyous. Her heart skipped a beat as the voice hit a dazzling crescendo, hitting an impossibly high note.

“Alright, that’s clearly enough for today.”

Eddard’s firm voice brought her crashing back into the garden. Israfel blinked, her face was warm and wet, she reached up to wipe he wetness from her mouth, surprised to see blood on her hand. The taste and smell of iron suddenly overwhelmed her. The sight of blood made her feel weak, Israfel went to lean on Cullen but her was gone from behind her, she hadn’t noticed him letting go of her. Stumbling, Israfel managed to steady herself, leaning forwards with her hands on her knees.

The soft voice of Evelyn filled the air, full of concern, “Are you alright Cullen?”  
Turning to Cullen, Israfel frowned, he was now sat on the floor rubbing his forehead, ears turned down, tail stood to attention.  
“Yeah,” he said doubtfully, “just a headache. It just came on all of a sudden.”  
Evelyn and Eddard nodded at each other, then Evelyn spoke, “There’s a festival happening in Meru tomorrow. I think you two should go and have some fun.”  
“But my training...” Israfel said doubtfully, “Lisara said she wanted to start practicing with weapons tomorrow.”  
“I’ll speak to Lisara.” Replied Evelyn, shaking her head, “you’ve given yourself a nosebleed from stress.”  
“We will arrange everything,” Said Eddard, “you both clearly need something to help you unwind.”  
Lifting himself to his feet, Cullen put am arm around her, “That sounds like a good idea.” He then lent down to whisper in her ear, “I’m looking forward to some time with you, away from prying eyes.”  
Israfel smiled to herself, it sounded like a very good idea.

~~~

She wasn’t really sure why she still had her own room, since returning from Yu-Shan she spent little time in there other than to get dressed. It seemed presumptuous to move her clothes into Cullen’s room though, too forward of her. Not to mention someone was delivering new clothes to her room almost daily, notes with only a smiling face left with each new outfit she received. The broken photographs and empty bottles in Cullen's room had been cleaned away, painful memories stored in the bottom of his wardrobe to make way for hopefully happier times.

Israfel was sat on her bed, next to her was a suitcase filled with more clothes than she would ever need for a couple of days away. In her room, rummaging through her draws was Sunchild. She had seen little of her friend over the past week, who had spent most of her time meditating or training with Eddard. Obviously she had found some free time to go shopping, Israfel mused to herself, looking at the short, brightly coloured dresses Sunchild had delivered to her. They weren’t her normal style, tight fitting and not in the usual earth tones of her normal attire, she hadn’t been brave enough to wear them yet, though it looked like that was all Sunchild was packing for her.

“Isu when did you get these?” Squealed Sunchild gleefully.  
In front of her face Sunchild was dangling the lacy black underwear that Israfel had hidden in the back on her draws.  
“You have to wear these!” Sunchild grinning as she pulled the labels off of them and packed them away, “Cullen will love it!”  
Israfel blushed, “I don’t understand...”  
Sunchild pushed her own breasts together and giggled, “Think of it as fancy wrapping paper for a special present! So,” she grinned at Israfel, “do you know what he likes?”  
“Likes?” She grew redder, “I though people just liked... we you know... being together...”  
Sunchild laughed, “I mean that is good, but maybe Cullen has something in particular that really rocks his world. You should find out and give him a real treat while you two are away!” She winked at Israfel.

A knock on the door made Sunchild quickly close up the suitcase, hiding the contents away. Cullen opened the door and cocked his head seeing the furious blush on Israfel’s face and Sunchild coyly sat on the suitcase.

“The car’s all packed up, are you ready?” His voice eager.

Israfel smiled and nodded. She shared his enthusiasm to get away. For the past week she had little time alone with Cullen, even when trying to share a room with him. The erratic sleep patterns meant people would burst in at any time with ideas for training ideas for Israfel, or insisting she got out of bed before sunrise to start the day early. She was looking forward to getting a good nights sleep, if Cullen would let her of course... They were ushered into the back of the car, waved off by Evelyn and Sunchild, a glass screen separating them from the driver.

“You’ve not been to Meru yet have you?” Cullen said as he pulled her close.  
She shook her head and leaned into his embrace.  
“Make sure you stay close, it’s probably gonna be pretty loud for you.” His voice full of concern.  
Israfel smiled at him, “I will do! So, what is there to do there?”  
Cullen tapped his nose, “Well there’s the Festival of Lights, I assume there will be stalls, food, games, displays, I’ve heard the fireworks are pretty impressive too.”  
“You’ve not been before?”  
“No,” Cullen shook his head, “the festival celebrates the life of Princess Charlotte, Martyr of the Emerald Sun. Mum and Lisara won’t talk about it, but I’ve heard Lisara had a lot to do with the Princess in life and... in death.”  
“Sunchild told me Lisara doesn’t like to talk about her past...” She said softly.  
Cullen shrugged, “Anyway, we get to go and enjoy it. I was thinking we could go do some karaoke too, I heard you singing that first week you were here. I’d love to hear more” He purred the last sentence into her ear.  
Israfel blushed, “You heard?”  
His ears twitched, “These aren’t just for show you know. Sometimes I would sit the other side of the door and just listen to you, it was nice hearing you sing, nice hearing you find some happiness at that point.”  
She buried her head into his chest and laughed, “I can’t believe you listened to that!”  
“Hey,” Cullen lifted her chin and kissed her forehead, “your voice is as beautiful as you are.”  
Israfel smiled brightly at him, “When this is over I’ll sing for you whenever you like!”  
Cullen brushed their lips together softly, “I’ll hold you to that.”

It was late when they arrived at the city and Israfel couldn’t help but stare in awe as they drove through the busy streets. There were people everywhere even after the sun had set, commuters heading home, others heading out into the city centre for a night of fun. She looked up to buildings that reached up high into the night sky, huge neon sighs and adverts plastered on the sides of every building. The city was so bright that it hardly felt like night time. It seemed on every corner there was someone performing, singers, musicians, jugglers, dancers... It was all flying past so far she couldn’t take it all in. They pulled into a tunnel, everything lit up with a warm orange glow from the underground lights and Israfel sat herself back into the seat, away from the window.

“The books I read didn’t do it justice!” She exclaimed excitedly.  
Cullen laughed, “I guess Meru really is something, though it’s pretty normal for me.” He put his hands behind his head and sunk into the seat, “I used to read a lot, anything I could just to try escape the pressure Lisara used to put me under. After Felicity I stopped, she was a writer. It hurt a lot just holding a book...”  
Israfel placed a hand on his leg, “Cullen I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”  
He looked to her and exhaled, “No it’s ok. I’m the one that should be sorry, we’re our first romantic getaway and here I am talking about my exe.”  
She shook her head, “I want you to talk about it if you need too.”  
There was a long silence before he spoke again, “I thought my life was over when she died. I even tried to kill myself a couple of times, but that proved impossible with two Exalts in the house.” He sighed, “It’s why I started going along with Lisara, I hoped that something might happen in the field... Then it did,” He smiled at her, “and I met you. You saved my life that day, and not just by healing my wounds.” He took her chin in his hand and stared at her with his deep brown eyes, “I love you Israfel.”  
It felt like she would get lost in those eyes, lost in his arms, in his love. Being here with him, all the turbulence of her current situation seemed to vanish, it was just the two of them and nothing else in the world. “I love you too.”

They sat there, Israfel curled up next time him, Cullen holding her chin as they continued to gaze at each other. Israfel trying to drink up all the features of his face; his coppery brown skin; long straight nose; the scar over his left eye which just seemed to make him even more handsome; the way his fangs playfully showed as he smiled at her. It was an awkward cough that interrupted the moment, Israfel jumping at the sound.

“Ahem. Mr Tepet and Miss...” the concierge paused, clearly confused by the lack of Israfel’s surname. “Miss Israfel, your table is ready for you, we will take your bags to your suite.”  
Cullen helped her out of the car, keeping hold of her hand, “Thanks.” He put a note into the concierge’s hand, presumably a large one by the way the mans eyes widened.

Israfel was led into the hotel, she clung to his hand desperately, not only to drown out the noise of the people, but to give her the confidence to walk through the crowd that stared at the pair. She looked around, all the men were in suits and bow ties, the women in sparkling evening gowns, and Israfel became very self conscious of her own dress sense. Here she was in a green tunic dress and walking boots, she’d never felt under-dressed in her life until this moment. She looked to Cullen, in his jeans and t-shirt, not giving a second thought to the stares, he was used to them after all...

As they entered the dining room Israfel wanted to run, more stares, but what was worst was the hushed whispers and points at the two of them. Curious stares she could handle, but this was a type of judgement she had never faced before. Her grip on Cullen’s hand tightened, digging her nails into his skin.

“Don’t worry about it,” He whispered in her ear, “you could be wearing a bin bag and still be the most stunning person here.”  
“Yes?” An unimpressed maître-d asked, blocking their path.  
Cullen grinned at the man, “I was told our table was ready.”  
“Are you sure you’re in the right hotel sir?” The man somehow standing firm despite Cullen looming over him. Looking the two of them up and down with a sneer of disgust on his face  
Israfel blushed, even more people were looking now.  
Cullen’s grin widened, his fangs in full display now. “I don’t think you heard me.” He raised his voice so the entire room could hear, “I was told the tablet for Mr Tepet and his guest was ready.”  
There was an audible gasp as everyone suddenly went back to focusing on their meals. The maître-d paled, his voice shaking when he spoke, “Of course Mr Tepet, right this way sir!”

When they were sat down, hidden away in a secluded booth, Israfel got the courage to speak again, “I thought your name was Bell. What’s Tepet mean?”  
Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, “Well it’s Lisara’s family name. The Tepet family is a pretty big deal here in Meruvia. It can be traced right back to some of the great Dragon-Blooded generals of the Terrestrial Age. So it’s a name Lisara throws around when she needs a bit more clout.”  
“What’s a Dragon-Blooded?” Israfel asked.  
“They’re Exalts too, but not as powerful as ones like me. Legends say they got their power from the Elemental Dragons of Creation, where-as me, Mum and Eddard come from the Celestial Incarnate. But Dragon-Blooded have the advantage that their Exaltation can be passed onto their children though.”  
Israfel frowned, “So you’re Exaltation isn’t inherited? But your entire family are Exalts!”  
Cullen shrugged, “I guess it was a bit of having Dragon-Blooded heritage, luck, and the crazy situations that being around other Exalts can put you in did it. I’m just grateful Lisara took Mum’s name when they got married. Generally I prefer the discretion of being a Bell. Tepet is just useful to throw around sometimes.”  
“I can’t imagine you being discrete!” She said as she laughed.  
He chuckled, “It was more important before I Exalted, in university a lot of women tried to take advantage of me when they found out about my family.”  
Looking around the finery she was currently sat in, a pang of guilt hit Israfel, “Am I taking advantage of you?”  
“Gods, no!” Cullen reached across the table and grabbed her hand, “I dragged you out here and essentially forced you into my life. You didn’t ask for any of this.”  
She squeezed his hand. “You’re too good to me.”  
Cullen just smiled in reply, holding her hand tightly.

After their meal, they were shown to their suite, a luxurious space with plush furnishings, a huge bath built into the bathroom floor and balcony overlooking the cityscape. Cullen grabbed her from behind as she admired the view.

“It almost seems like a waste to go out tomorrow when we have a room like this to ourselves.” He murmured in between planting kisses on her neck.  
Israfel could feel herself growing weak in his embrace. Their constant night-time interruptions meant that anything beyond sleeping in each others arms was impossible. She ached for him, desperate to share herself and her love with him. As he held her she could tell he felt the same way, his song slow and seductive.  
“What do you want to do?” He asked flirtatiously.

She trembled. Israfel knew what she wanted him to do, to take things slow, to enjoy each other in a way that hadn’t had time to since their first time together. She wanted to be devoured by him, consumed by his love but the words were hard to come by. Israfel still felt so naive, he was her first and it was all still so new, she knew she wanted him but beyond that she felt lost.

“Tell me my love, do you want me to bend you over this balcony and fuck you hard?” His hand slid over her body, up to her throat, turning her head so she could look at him, “Do you want to ride my cock while we bathe together?”  
Israfel could only moan in reply.  
“I want to hear you tell me what you want.” His voice barely above whisper, “Tell me, my love.”  
“I... I...” she couldn’t speak.  
Cullen turned her around in his arms and lifted her chin, “Anything you want and it’s yours.”  
It was impossible to deny him, he made her feel so raw and vulnerable and she loved every minute of it. She blushed as she spoke, “I want you to... to make love to me Cullen.”

He nodded, taking her in his arms and carrying her to the bed, pinning her down, kissing her with such passion that she was left panting underneath him. Slowly, Cullen peeled her clothes off, kissing every inch of her as he exposed more and more of her skin. With his fingers and tongue he pushed her further and further until she was nothing but a quivering mess in his arms. It was then that he hooked her legs over his shoulders and pressed himself into her, she could only whimper his name as he filled her. His release only came when she was left breathless with the force of her own, unable to do anything other than look him in the eyes as he roared out her name.

~~~

Getting out of bed them next morning had proved harder than she thought, Cullen had kept pulling her back and his warm body was so inviting. But Israfel wasn’t sure when she would next find herself with free time and her curiosity about the city was winning over. It was hard, but she managed to untangle herself from him and climb out of bed and made her way to the dressing room, taking one last look at him before closing the door. Turning back to look had been a mistake. Cullen laid there staring at her, arms behind his head, the corners of his mouth turned up into a delicate smile. The bed sheet had slipped down his chest, down to his hips, barely hiding his naked form. Israfel grinned, her eyes drawn down the v-cut of his pelvis, following the trail of hair... The throbbing in between her legs, a reminder of despite how gentle he tried to be, she was still getting used to him. Used to sharing herself.

“See something you like?” He asked playfully, using his tail to nudge the sheet down even further.  
Israfel continued smiling at him, in the morning sunlight the hues of his rich brown skin were practically glowing. The shine from his tattooed charm bounced off of his abs, further highlighting his perfectly maintained body.  
Her smile widened, “How about later you tell me what you want?”


	20. Chapter 20

The festival was an absolute spectacle. Somehow the neon city of Meru had become even brighter, bathed in green light from lanterns that blotted out the sky. The main events taking place in the central plaza, a vast expanse of greenery and gardens leading up to the looming pagodas of the royal palace. Cullen had explained to her since the death of the princess, Meruvia had become a democracy, with elected leaders rather than being led by a single lineage. The roads running around the plaza were almost entirely blocked off by dancers and parades, leaving only once entrance into the festival grounds. Food and drink stalls were lined up in neat rows, Cullen had taken her to try some of his favourite foods, from spiced meats so hot she hadn’t been able to feel her mouth, to cakes so sweet she squealed with joy as she ate them.

“You have a sweet tooth then?” Cullen asked as he wiped crumbs off of her face.  
Israfel grinned as she nodded, “We never got anything like this back on the farm!”  
His arm snaked around her waist, “I don’t often get to eat like this, Lisara is pretty strict about her diet so we never keep anything fun in.”  
“Surely with the amount of working out you guys do you could eat whatever you want?” She lent into him as they walked. The closeness of him keeping the multitude of harmonies at bay.  
“It’s more of a control thing than actually about food. Mum said their life used to be really unpredictable. It properly unsettled Lisara, so she used to try and take control of any little thing she could.” He said as he led her through the crowds.

Cullen pushed his way through the throngs of people, who for once didn’t seem to be staring at him. Looking around Israfel realised it was because so many people were in different costumes, Cullen’s ears and tail must just look like an accessory to them.

She looked up at him, his long hair tied back in a loose pony tail, “What happened to your hair?”  
He looked at her with a bemused expression on his face, “My hair? Nothing’s happened to it.”  
“I mean when you showed me that photo of you graduating, it was curly, more like Evelyn’s.” She brushed a stray strand from his face.  
“Ohhh... It’s just another side effect of my exaltation.” He smiled at her, “My hair got straighter the more I transformed until it ended up like this.”  
Israfel pictured how otherworldly Exalts like Cullen, Lisara and Sunchild look compared to Evelyn and Eddard, “Why doesn’t everyone who Exalts change so dramatically?”  
Culled shrugged, “All Exalts do, it’s just sometimes it’s internal changes instead. Depends on what type of Exalt they are.”  
“Can I ask you something else?” She asked nervously.  
“Ask me anything you like.”  
She paused, pulling him away from the crowds, “You’ve been touching me with your tail recently but Lisara said you didn’t like people going near it and you recoil whenever someone tries to touch you ears... how come?”  
“I...” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her, his song slowed down. “Like I said before to you, they’re constant reminders of what happened to me. People touching them makes me remember they’re there. As for you and my tail,” it swished behind him, “you make me feel comfortable enough to share that part of myself with you. Plus it’s pretty sensitive where it joins the rest of me.”  
That explained the noises he made when she grabbed it in ecstasy during their first time. Throwing herself to him, Israfel wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly, “Thank you for trusting me.”  
“I want to share everything with you.” Cullen stooped down closer to her height, “You can touch my ears if you like.”  
Israfel reached her hand out tentatively, but paused noticing how tense he had become, “Are you sure?”  
Furred ears bounced as he nodded in reply. Gently her fingers stroked his fur, it felt soft against her skin like brushed felt. Feeling bolder, Israfel rubbed his ears between her fingers and thumbs. A soft moan escaped Cullen’s lips and a blush spread across his face.  
“I guess they’re pretty sensitive too...” He murmured, eyes half closed.  
“I’ll have to remember that.” She said laughing.  
Standing up to his full height again and coughed nervously. “That’s enough of that for now or I’ll be too distracted to enjoy the rest of the festival.”  
It was Israfel’s turn to blush, finding herself amazed and aroused at how easy it was to get him going. “Let’s go see what else is here then.”

The noise of the crowds began to quiet down as they approached the centre of the plaza, the atmosphere warping from a joyous festival to something more mournful. Cullen stopped them at the foot of a small staircase leading up to a great onyx throne cleaved in two. Rows of candles with green flames lined the steps giving the area an otherworldly glow.

“This is where Princess Charlotte was killed 37 years ago.” Cullen said quietly. “The official story is that she was killed by a terrorist Exalt posing as Lisara.” He tapped his nose, “I have my doubts about the truth of that story though.”  
Israfel looked up at the broken throne, trying to imagine the power needed to cleave onyx like that, “You think Lisara did it?”  
He nodded, “She never talks about her past but I know she’s done a lot of things she regrets.”  
“Why would she do something like that?” She asked in a hushed voice.  
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his temples, clearly distressed thinking about it, “Princess Charlotte was an Infernal Exalt and Lisara killed one of the Yozis, an Infernal god. Maybe the Princess was collateral damage in a much bigger fight.”  
She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “I’m sure, whatever bad things she did, she would have had the best of intentions. Lisara can be scary, but she’s not a bad person.”  
Cullen smiled and her and pulled her in for a hug, “Let’s get out of here, fancy going back to the hotel now?”

Israfel nodded into his chest as they walked back to the main part of the festival, eager to get Cullen away from here. Away from painful thoughts about his mother.

He pulled her aside, away from the thinning crowds, “Seeing you in that little dress of yours has been making me think about my answer to your earlier question.”

Cullen’s voice dripped with passion as he whispered in her ear. His tail wrapped around her thighs and pushed her already short dress up. She could feel herself blushing, now painfully aware of how the straps of her lacy underwear dug into her flesh. All day she had regretted wearing the set that Sunchild had made her pack. The minimalist panties had been rubbing against her with every step she took, the straps of the bra hugging her closely all day.

“Maybe I should take you right here.” He whispered seductively as he ran his tongue along her ear.  
She tensed in his arms, there was no one around but she could still hear the crowds. So many people so close by.  
“Then again,” he grabbed her face roughly and forced her to look at him, his eyes burning with passion, “I won’t get to enjoy you properly here.”

Her entire body felt of fire, he was looking at her with such intensity that she could only tremble. The grip on her face help her fast, she couldn’t move even if she tried to. He made her feel totally safe yet utterly powerless at the same time.

“Are you alright Miss?”

Both Israfel and Cullen blinked at each other before looking to where the voice had come from. A young man in a greasy apron, holding a frying pan was looking at them, eyes full of suspicion. The pan began to shake in his hands as Cullen released her and stood up to his full height. Israfel threw her arms around Cullen’s waist an hugged him tightly, smiling brightly at the young man.

“I’m fine thanks!” She looked up to Cullen, his face was bright red from the interruption, “Shall we head back?”  
They walked past the man who was still eyeing them suspiciously and headed back into the crowds.  
“Sorry about that...” Cullen said sheepishly, his ears turned down, “I forget how intimidating I can look sometimes.”  
Israfel squeezed his arm, “It’s ok. I...” she felt herself blushing, “I kinda like it...”  
Cullen’s eyes widened with surprise, “You like that I look intimidating?”  
“Yeah, it’s...” It’s too embarrassing she thought to herself.

They were out of the festival now, walking down a quiet street. The neon lights reflecting off of their skin.

Cullen stopped in front of her, looking a her curiously, “I want you to feel like you can tell me anything Israfel.” He stroked her blushing cheek, “Don’t ever feel embarrassed by anything when you’re with me.”  
Israfel looked up at him, at his rugged, handsome face, so full of love. He made her feel so at ease, so safe, “It’s exciting, how much bigger and stronger you are than me.”  
He leant down and kissed her forehead, “Thank you for trusting me.”  
Her confidence swelled, she wanted to tell him more, “The first time we spoke was kinda scary, but even then it was exciting. Part of me did want to climb up on that table with you.”  
“Would you like me to intimidate you more then?” Cullen purred at her.  
Israfel could feel her blush returning, “But tonight was about what you want...”  
Cullen, grabbed her hand, “Let’s get back to the hotel and I’ll tell you exactly what I want.”

With his song pounding in her head, Cullen dragged her through the streets of Meru, through the hotel lobby and pushed her into the bedroom. Not even giving her a chance to catch her breath, Israfel was pulled into a deep kiss, his hand pulling at her hair, forcing her to look up to him. His other hand held her by the throat, tight enough that she could feel his fingers digging in, but still giving her space to breathe.

He pulled away, “Do you trust me Israfel?”  
The tight grip on her throat made it hard to speak, but she managed to whimper a single word, “Yes.”  
“Good.” He gently pushed her away from him and began circle around her towards the bed. “I want you to give yourself to me, completely and utterly, I want you to do everything I tell you to.” He sat down on the bed and crossed one massive leg over the other, “Now,” he said in a deep, commanding voice, “take your clothes off.”

Feeling the excitement already rising within her, Israfel’s legs grew weak as she grabbed the hem of her dress and started to pull it up. She paused at the top of her thighs, her confidence faltering as she wondered what he would think of her underwear. Would he laugh at her, think she was silly for wearing it all day? Israfel met his gaze, he was patiently sat there staring at her, desire written all over his face. She exhaled and slowly lifted the dress up, wiggling her hips to ease the upward motion. Up over her body she pulled it, over her head and dropping it aside. As she moved her arms behind her back to unclip her bra, Cullen held his hand up.

“Stop.” Despite the commanding tone, he had a huge grin on his face. “Come here.”  
She walked over to him, spurred on by the look of lust on his face and the way he slowly loosened his trousers, pulling his belt free.  
“Did you wear these for me?” He traced his fingers lightly along the pattern of the lace, before tweaking her nipple.  
“Yes!” She gasped. Legs growing weaker as he teased her.  
“You’ve been walking around all day, with this lace rubbing against you as you thought of all the things I’m going to do to you.” Both of his hand were on her breasts now, thumbs rubbing her now pert nipples.  
Israfel nodded, her heart racing over the commanding tone of his voice and the way he teased her body.  
His fingers traced down her body, “I wonder how wet that has made you.”  
Smirking, Cullen pushed two fingers in between her legs, rubbing the fabric against her.  
“Cullen...” She managed to whisper as she felt the heat inside her rising  
His grin widened, “It feels like you’re already prepared for my cock. But you can’t have it just yet.” With his other hand he took hold of one of her bra straps and pulled her close to his face. His voice suddenly became quiet, tender, “If any of this gets too much, tell me right way. Okay?”  
“I will do.” Her heart felt like it was going to overflow from the love that filled it.  
Cullen nodded and kissed her gently on the lips, before his voice resumed a commanding tone, “Turn around.”

As his hand was removed from in between her legs, she moaned, desperate for more, but she did as she was told. Her hands were pulled behind her back as something was wrapped around them, binding them together. Her bonds were pulled tight with the familiar click of Cullen’s belt buckle. She wiggled against the belt, she could move her fingers, but beyond that her arms were held fast. Her chest heaved with each breath, she had once read a book about things like this... It was so different and exciting from the other romance books she had read. Never would she have dreamt that she would be acting something like this out!

Israfel turned to face Cullen, he had uncrossed his legs now and was staring at her, smirking. 

“Now then,” he pushed his trousers down slightly, freeing his cock, “let’s make you mine.”

~~~

“Israfel, are you okay?”  
She felt her eyes flutter open and she managed to look around. Cullen’s face was above hers, he was cradling her in his lap, her arms now free.  
Israfel reached and stroked his face, “I’m fine, just a little tired.”  
His voice was so soft now, “That wasn’t too much was it? I didn’t hurt you did I?”  
“No my love, it was perfect.” She smiled brightly at him.  
He replied, his voice full of doubt, “Are you sure?” He was shaking ever-so-slightly, “I’m scared I’m too rough with you... You’re so small compared to me... But it’s so hard to control myself around you...”

He had been rougher with her than normal, but only because she had begged him to be. Israfel did ache, but it was a good ache, a satisfying ache. Her training had started to toughen her up, she didn’t feel as delicate as she used too.

“I trust you completely Cullen.” She cupped his chin in her hand, “Now trust me when I tell you I’m fine.”

Israfel sat up in his lap and pulled his face down to hers; kissing him deeply. Wanting to kiss away all his pain and fear, desperate to heal his old wounds so he could be truly happy again.


	21. Chapter 21

Together, Cullen and Israfel walked hand in hand down a quiet backstreet, the city now dimly lit in preparation for the firework display. Israfel had spent an enlightening day with him exploring the many museums and galleries Meru had to offer, drinking in every bit of history she could. She had even learnt more about Lisara who had been featured prominently in the military museum. The woman had been a prodigy in her youth, the youngest person ever to join The Legion of Silence, the royal guard and special forces of Meruvia, before going missing in action after five years of service. Then there was her glorious return as a champion of the Church of the Emerald Sun, saving the country from a catastrophic nuclear war with her strength and diplomacy, channelling billions of Pounds into the restoration of the country. 

Now, her and Cullen were heading back to the central plaza to enjoy the firework display before going on the hunt for a Karaoke bar. She was dying to hear Cullen sing, and secretly she was looking forward to singing for him. Her hand was in his as he held it tightly, protectively, his tail curled around her waist. They continued through dark and quiet streets, everyone must already be at the plaza, she thought to herself. Any further thoughts were halted by an unfamiliar voice.

“Israfel! Yoo-hoo!”

She and Cullen stopped dead in their tracts. Who would know her by name? And why did that voice chill her so much, stirring up some long forgotten memory that she couldn’t quite grasp? Israfel looked up to Cullen, his usual calm face replaced by one of absolute disgust and rage, his ears twitching. She let go of his hand to turn around and see where the voice had come from, but the moment she did fear washed over her. A song, distorted and out of tune burst to life in her head and nausea washed over her. As she turned around she saw a lone woman standing in the road waving at her. The woman was dressed all in black, a dress made of frayed strips of fabric crossing over her, ripped and laddered tights covered her legs. Her hair was black with white horizontal stripes bleached into it, her face painted with messy black and white makeup. There was something familiar about tis woman but Israfel couldn’t put her finger on it.

Israfel cocked her head to the side, “Who...?”  
“Don’t you recognise me Israfel? I’m so disappointed!” She pretended to wipe tears from her eyes.  
“Enough foolishness Astra.” A tall, painfully thin man wielding a scythe stepped out of the shadows. He wore ruddy grey jeans and a brown trench coat, no shirt, leaving his scared chest and prominent ribs on full display.  
Cullen snarled, placing an arm protectively in front of her, his transformation starting to take shape.  
“Oh Vin,” the woman, Astra presumably, punched her companion in the arm playfully, “you’re so boring! Can’t I have a little fun? It’s been so long since I’ve been allowed outside.”  
“Israfel you need to go. Get as far away from here as fast as you can, find somewhere safe and contact my parents. Lisara might be able to make it here in time.” Cullen’s voice was shaking as he spoke.  
“In time for what?” She grabbed his sleeve, “I’m not leaving you!”  
“Oh how cute!” Astra squealed as she hugged herself. “The Lunar is going to try and sacrifice himself for her!”  
Vin spat on the floor. “I can deal with him. You take the girl. And don’t kill this one.”

With that Vin appeared right in front of them, in the blink of an eye. Despite Vin’s smaller stature, he had managed to lift Cullen off the floor by his throat and tossed him aside and running after him. Scythe and claw clashed in a flurry blows that Israfel could only just follow. Fur flew into the air as the scythe buried it’s self in Cullen’s thigh, but he had clearly taken the hit on purpose to get close, his fangs sinking into Vin’s shoulder.

“So you really don’t remember me?”  
Israfel’s heart froze as Astra’s arm was placed around her shoulders.  
“Well I guess you were so small.” The woman grinned at her, “But I would have thought you’d remembered when your Mum died. That kind of thing usually sticks with you.”  
“My Mum?” Israfel tried to pull away but the woman held her fast.  
Astra leaned in close, “I got in a lot of trouble for it, but it was worth it to hear such beautiful screams!”

Something in Israfel’s mind snapped. She knew this woman. Her Father had been running, he had carried Israfel in his arms as he ran. Over his should she could remember seeing her Mother glowing with ethereal light, parrying strikes from bone claws with a snap of her fingers, claws bouncing back only inches from her face. Israfel’s focus swung to the woman attacking. Black and white hair flowing in the wind. It was Astra...

It was Astra that took her Mum from her, that broke her Fathers heart, that stole Israfel’s childhood.

Israfel suddenly felt her dagger in her hand, even though she had left it at home...

“You fucking bitch!” Israfel screamed so loudly that the fight between Cullen and Vin stopped to stare at her.

Glass shattered as Israfel screamed, shards raining down on them all as Israfel twisted out of the woman’s grasp, burying the dagger up to the hilt in Astra’s stomach.

Blood dripped from the Abyssal’s mouth as she grinned, “Glad to see you have some fight in you.” She jumped back, the blade squelching as it was withdrawn, “Well I was told not to kill you. Doesn’t mean I can’t squeeze some screams out of you though!”

Israfel could barely hear the woman, as her hate rose within her a new song burst to life in her head, blotting out all other noise. It was her own song she realised. She could feel essence coursing around her, flowing through her and her dagger. Leaping at the woman she swung wildly, as Astra effortlessly dodged out the way. As Astra leapt back great bone claws erupted from her fingers, she taunted Israfel, beckoning her closer. All Israfel could see was this woman, her entire world collapsed around her until it was just the two of them. There was no fear like the time she saw the monster that took her Father, there was only hate. She wasn’t going to cower this time, no one was going to fight her battle for her this time.

“I’m going to kill you, you bitch!” Israfel screamed again, Astra flinched before righting herself.  
“I would like it see a miserable half-breed like you try!” Astra sneered.

The Abyssal leapt at her, claws flying towards her face. This Exalt was much slower than Lisara, her technique less refined, her attacks were easy to dodge. The terrible song of Astra started to play again in her head, her own song harmonising with it, alerting Israfel of her intentions. A kick was aimed at Israfel, but she evaded it easily, taking the opportunity presented to her: an exposed back as Astra spun, following the kick through. Israfel leant down and lunged forwards, dagger in both hands aiming to plunge it into Astra’s flank. Her opponent twisted unnaturally and swung for her. Claws slashing through the flesh of her back, sending her skidding across the floor.

Blue and red lights illuminated the area as police blocked of the street, exchanging nervous glances as they realised it was an Exalted battle they had been called out too. News station vans had pulled up behind the police line, cameras and reporters on the roofs to get the best shots. 

“Israfel!”  
Cullen was trying to run towards her but he was grabbed, thrown back and drawn into another melee.  
“Stay out of this!” Israfel roared, dragging herself to her feet, “This one is mine!”  
Astra walked towards her slowly, blood oozing from her abdomen. “Why won’t you scream for me little one?”

Hate bubbled within Israfel, she roared as she ran at Astra, dagger raised overhead, wanting sink it into the stupid face. But she stumbled, the pain from her mutilated back hitting her. Astra grinned and took the advantage, grabbing Israfel’s weapon hand stopping the blow, the claws of her other hand piercing the flesh of Israfel’s shoulder, pushing through until they exited her body. She was going to lose, either Cullen would have to save her again, she thought bitterly, or he would die and she would be taken away...

Then it all clicked into place. Israfel saw her Mother snapping her fingers to bounce blows back, heard the screams she had made when she had used her own essence before. Everything made sense now: it was sound, or the resonance of it, the way it could reverberate though essence.

“You wanna hear me scream?” Israfel snarled, “I’ll fucking scream for you!”

She threw her head back and let an almighty cry erupt from her throat. Israfel’s essence visibly swirled around her in beautiful blue whorls as the world shook. Astra’s scream joined her own as she let go of Israfel, claws retracting as she tried to cover her bleeding ears, blood flowing from her nose and eyes. Israfel continues to scream, her own nose now flowing with blood as essence painfully vibrated around her. Then Astra’s arms dropped to her side, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she dropped to the floor, limp and unmoving, blood freely flowing from her mouth.

Israfel’s throat became horse and she stopped screaming. All of her hate dissipated, replaced by horror as she looked at the limp woman before her. Israfel dropped her dagger, unnoticed to her, it vanished in a cloud of blue and silver essence. Bile rose up inside her. She had killed someone...

“Israfel!”

She continued to stare at the corpse, her entire body shaking.

“Israfel!” It was Cullen’s voice yelling loudly at her.  
It was Cullen’s strong hands that took hold of her, turning her around.  
“Are you okay?” He was still yelling despite being right in front of her.  
“Cullen...” she managed a whisper out of her raw throat.  
“I can’t hear you! Are you okay?” He continued to yell.

Israfel looked up at him, blood oozing from his ears, the fur of his muzzle slick and red. She broke. Grabbing him with her uninjured arm, she buried her face into the bloodied fur of his chest, sobbing into him. With his arms around her, they both dropped to their knees. She couldn’t stop shaking, there was blood everywhere, she was in so much pain, Cullen was hurt, possibly because of her and people were dead. Even if they were monster,s even if they had killed her mother, she had taken a life. Guilt and fear hit her in equal parts are her entire body shook with each sob.

“I’m so sorry...” Cullen sobbed as he held her, “Israfel I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you!” His voice loud trying to compensate for his current deafness.  
Around her she could hear the crunch of glass as people approached, the click of guns being readied.  
“What do we do sir?” A hushed voice asked.  
“I don’t know, they’re fucking Exalts!” An authoritative voice replied, “We need to wait for backup. Shoot them if they move.”

It felt like they were there for an age, holding each other as they both sobbed. The only sound around them was the wail of sirens are no one dare approach them.

“Ma’am you can’t come through here!” The authoritative voice yelled out, breaking the silence of the crowd.  
“Do you know who I fucking am? What I am? Let me through you idiot!” A mechanical voice yelled out.  
There were more hushed whispers, then the sound of glass being crushed under heavy feet.  
“Cullen, Israfel, are you two alright?”  
A gentle hand landed on each of their shoulders, breaking their embrace apart. It was Lisara squatting down beside them, staring at them questioningly. Sweat dripped from her brow, all she wore was a baggy vest and panties.  
“I got here as soon as I could! Thank the Gods you’re both alive!” Her voice full of urgency.  
Cullen shook his head, “I can’t hear anything!”  
Lisara pulled him to his feet, Cullen scooping Israfel in his arms as he stood up. She directed them towards one of the police cordons, Cullen limping as he carried her.  
“I’m taking one of your vans.” She told the police chief, “Your department will be reimbursed.”  
The chief looked at her doubtfully, but clearly didn’t feel like arguing with a barely dressed Exalt as he threw a set of keys at her.

As the van lurched with the motion of the road Israfel groaned. She was laid on the floor, her head in Cullen’s lap, her entire body shaking with pain. The wounds inflicted on her leaking the same black essence as the ones that had brought her and Cullen together. They burned as if someone had put hot coals under her skin, it was so bad she barely noticed the crunch her shoulder made with each bump of the van. Nausea was washing over her in waves, at one point she had even vomited on the curled up leg she was resting on. Cullen had just laughed, wiping it away with his sleeve before stroking her hair. His injured leg was stretched out behind her, the same black essence swirling up into the air, Cullen shuddered with each breath he took. 

Her eyes were drawn to her hand, resting away from her head so it wasn’t in a pool of vomit. Etched into her palm was a blue swirl of essence, delicate lines of it snaking up her fingers, spiralling onto her fingertips. Cullen stopped stroking her hair and grabbed her hand, tracing the lines of it with his thumb.

“They’re beautiful!” He yelled, still unable to hear his own voice.

She didn’t reply, there was no point and she wasn’t sure she could even speak at the moment. The adrenaline had worn off ages ago and now all she was left with was an overwhelming fear, even though she knew she was safe, she couldn’t tell her body to calm down.

The van screeched to a halt and she could hear raised voices outside.  
“Lisara have you found them?” It was Evelyn’s normally soft voice, raised in panic.  
“Where are they?” Eddard spoke firmly.  
“They’re in the back,” Lisara replied, “help me get them inside.”  
Moonlight streamed into the van as the doors were flung open. Cullen managed a wave but Israfel could only lay there, praying for some kind of respite from how wretched she felt.  
Evelyn peered into the van, “Gods look at you two!”  
“Oh Israfel!” Sunchild said, her voice shaking, on the edge of tears.

Israfel found herself in Sunchild’s arms, wincing as the open wounds of her back rubbed on the hand plates on the Alchemical’s arms. Behind her Eddard and Lisara each had one of Cullen’s massive arms over their shoulders, supporting him as he hopped along. Evelyn hurried in front of them, leading them through a labyrinth of corridors into a familiar room, the laboratory where Israfel had been studied. Israfel was laid on an examination bed, Cullen reluctantly sat across from her on another bed.

“Can you heal them?” Lisara asked Evelyn placing a hand on her shoulder.  
Evelyn frowned, “The wounds have been tainted by Abyssal essence, I can heal the aggravated damage tonight but it will take a lot of essence. I’ll need to rest before I can fully heal them.”  
“Well that’s still good news.” Sunchild said softly as she brushed Israfel’s hair with her long fingers.  
“What?” Cullen said in a raised voice, “What’s happening?”  
Evelyn looked at Lisara, confusion written all over her face.  
“He can’t hear anything. I assume you can fix that too?” Lisara replied.  
“That will be easy,” Evelyn moved over to Israfel, a warm golden glow forming around her hands, “but it will need to wait. I have to fix this first.”

There it was, the sweet relief she had been craving as Evelyn’s golden essence washed over her. Finally the pain eased, all that was left was an overwhelming exhaustion. 

Her eyes grew heavy and sleep finally claimed her.


	22. Chapter 22

Israfel groaned as she opened her eyes. It felt as if she had slept for an age and was finally awake; but at what cost? Even her face ached as she lifted her eyelids, she felt groggy, though thankfully the sickness was gone. Cullen was laid flat out on a separate bed, snoring loudly, dead to the world.

“Hey you.” The familiar lilt of Sunchild’s voice graced her ears, cutting through the snoring.  
She tried to sit up and her entire body roared in her objection, her shoulder making a sickening crunch. Israfel exhaled sharply, trying to push through the pain.  
Sunchild’s long arms hooked under her own, “Let me help you up. How are you feeling?”

Propped up into a seated position, Israfel realised she was hooked up to a multitude of wires and tubes, monitoring her, giving her oxygen and fluids. Her left arm was in a sling, she could wiggle her fingers but beyond that her shoulder would object. Sunchild sat on the side of the bed facing her, smiling gently as she held her hand.

“How long have I been asleep?” Israfel’s throat scratched as she spoke.  
“Just for the night, you needed a good rest.” Her friends voice had a hint of concern hidden under it’s usual brightness.  
“I feel like I’ve been asleep for a lifetime...” She looked around the room, it was only the three of them in there, “How’s Cullen?”  
Sunchild laughed, “He was pretty agitated last night, Evelyn gave him enough sedation to knock out ten horses to get him to calm down.”  
“Sun...” Israfel pulled her hand free, staring at the faintly glowing marks on her skin and felt herself starting to crumble, “Am I gonna be ok?”  
Sunchild cocked her head to the side, “Of course silly, Evelyn will be up in a few hours and she’ll fix you right up!”

She started shaking, unable to let go of the fear that had taken hold of her. She couldn’t understand how her friends could get up and continue on with their daily lives. What she had seen, no, what she had done had shaken her to her core. She could still see blood on her hands, still feel the thrum of essence around her as she fought, still see the dead look in Astra’s eyes. A wet patch started to take shape on the sheet covering her.

“Isu what’s wrong?” Sun child started dabbing her tears away.  
“I don’t know... I don’t know what’s happened to me...” She couldn’t stop staring at her hand, fingers trembling. “I can’t stop shaking, I keep seeing what happened over and over again... It’s horrific... Seeing you and Cullen fight was bad enough, but doing it myself is something else... I thought this was what I wanted but... “ She grabbed her hair with her hand, pulling it over her face, losing control of the volume of her voice, “I just don’t know! It was like something else took over! I’ve never felt like that before! I... I...” She trailed off, looking to where Cullen slept, her face red and puffy, “I think I hurt him... He can’t hear and that’s my fault.”  
“Hey,” Sunchild grabbed her hand again, and took her chin in the other, forcing Israfel to look at her, “Cullen would be dead if it weren’t for you. We’ve all done it, we’ve all lost control and hurt someone by accident. I can’t count how many times Lisara has lost her temper and levelled an entire area with me still in it.”  
“Really?” Israfels voice grew weak again, barely above a whisper. “I guess Cullen did bruise me once when he grabbed me...”  
“And did you forgive him?” Sunchild asked firmly.  
Her eyes went wide, “Of course I did! He never meant it!”  
Sunchild nodded knowingly, “Exactly. Don’t beat yourself up.”  
“But Sun,” her voice pleading, “what if I do it again? I hate how I felt... I hate how I feel! I’m so scared Sunchild!” Israfel sobbed the last few words.

Pulled into hug, Israfel sobbed, the pain she felt from her back and shoulder all but a distant memory as a much deeper pain washed over her. She felt as if she were unravelling, her psyche shaken, terrified of that all consuming hate she had felt. It was as if a storm raged inside her; pain, guilt, fear and hate all swirled inside her and she was lost in the centre of it all. She couldn’t see past the memories of her Mother’s death, the hopelessness she felt when she lost Father, the hate and disgust as she killed Astra, the guilt of seeing blood running from Cullen’s ears from her unchecked power.

“I can’t do this Sun!” She sobbed.  
“Of course you can Isu,” Sunchild started stroking your hair, “you’re just in shock right now, but you’ll feel better soon. Isu, you are so much stronger than all this.”  
“Why can’t things just be like they were before? Why is this happening to me?” She desperately clung onto her friend.  
“Things just don’t work that way.” Sunchild spoke softly, “You have to keep moving forward, but you have all of us with you. We’re not going to let you face this alone.”  
Israfel took a deep breath, trying to centre herself, draw strength from Sunchild and her kind words. She managed to reduce her sobbing to a sniffle. “Thank you Sun.” She said weakly.  
“That’s better!” Sunchild said brightly. “Everything will be fine, trust me.”  
A mechanical hum grew louder in Israfel’s head, “Lisara is coming...”  
“Well then, let’s dry those tears!” Sunchild wiped Israfel’s face, “Put on you’re best face for your Mother-in-Law!”  
“Mother-in-Law?” Lisara appeared in the doorway, a hint of green on her cheeks, “Your little trip sounds even more eventful that I initially thought.”  
Israfel was released from Sunchild’s embrace as the other woman jumped up, “Lisara! Morning!”  
“Sunchild is just being silly!” Israfel was grateful for how red her face was from crying, it hid the blush she could feel spreading.

She could feel herself wilting under the unreadable stare Lisara was giving her. Israfel looked to Cullen, wishing she could be in a deeper sleep as he was. His transformation had been reverted during his slumber, the furred wolf-like features replaced with his familiar strong jaw and long straight nose. Cullen’s face was relaxed as he slept, it was a sight she had sat up during many nights, amazed at how she had managed to end up with someone so perfect, so handsome. He was a man who had deep scars across his body and his soul, yet despite his own suffering he had still found room in his heart to help and love her. His entire family had taken her in, accepted her... the storm inside her just seemed like a blustery wind when she had such strong people around her.

“Don’t make jokes like that around Evelyn, she’ll start picking out dresses for you.” Lisara said with a grin on her face.  
“How is Evelyn?” Israfel looked away, trying to hide her face away.  
The grin dropped into a serious frown, “She used a lot of essence cleansing your wounds, more than expected. It might be a bit longer than we thought before she can do anything else. Until then, I’ll be looking after you two.”

~~~

Cullen was overwhelmed by the silence, he had grown so accustom to his heightened sense of hearing that he felt lost without it. He was trying to make sense of things but the world was spinning around him, his sense of direction and balance shot to pieces. He could smell people in the room with him; Lisara’s petrol-like smell had entered the room; Sunchild was there smelling of lilacs; Israfel was there too. Her usual earthy, sweet scent was drowned out by a medicinal smell and... he inhaled deeply, blood. His eyes shot open in panic, throwing himself off on the bed, his injured leg immediately buckling the moment he put any weight on it. Lisara and Sunchild jumped back in surprise at his sudden movement, but Israfel just sat there quietly smiling at him.

Israfel said something he couldn’t hear, Sunchild nodded in reply and gently helped Israfel to the floor as Lisara disconnected her from a tangle of monitoring wires. Her movements were so slow and painful, Cullen frowned as he noticed the bandages wrapped all around her torso and shoulder. Her wounds were still fresh, that’s why she smelt of blood. Israfel smiled at him as she lowered herself to her knees in front of him, wincing as she tried to support her injured arm. His heart broke seeing her like this, but he was also filled with rage; wishing he had been the one to crush the woman who had dared to lay a finger on Israfel.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, trying to control the volume of his voice.  
She nodded at him, trying to put on a brave face.  
He reached out and touched her face, her cheeks still damp, “Does it hurt?”  
She nodded again, her face growing warmer.  
Cullen couldn’t help but smile, remembering the last time he had asked her those questions. She returned the smile, obviously sharing his train of thought.

Next to them Sunchild squatted down, she spoke to Israfel who nodded eagerly in reply and struggled to her feet, dismissing any help. Her outstretched hand was offered to him. Cullen studied it for a moment, the beautiful whorls of essence were still etched into her hand, faintly glowing, then he took her hand. He was reminded of how small and delicate she seemed as he dwarfed her hand with his, though it all seemed like an illusion now as he remembered the power she had demonstrated. It had been a terrifying experience watching her fight, watching her get hurt, unable to help as he kept being pulled into his own battle. But despite the fear, he had also been overcome with pride, in the few short weeks he had know her she had grown so much, her hard work and determination had paid off.

Careful not to put any weight on the much smaller woman, he ungracefully clambered to his feet. Following her slow guidance out of the laboratory, Sunchild and Lisara stayed behind, grinning at each other. Israfel led him through the corridors, their progress slow as his leg was still stiff, his gait unsteady. He limped alongside her, leaning against the walls for support. He was guided to his room and beckoned in by Israfel and dragged over to the bed. Cullen looked at her quizzically, surely she didn’t want that right now... he doubted either of them were in any fit state. But then he saw her laughing brightly, waving a single finger at him as if to tell him to push any such thoughts aside. She pulled him onto the bed, both of them wincing as they gingerly climbed in together, taking several attempts before they found a way to lay in each others arms somewhat comfortably. He let out a low rumble as she pushed her body against his, her hand gently caressing one of his ears. He found himself wondering why he had always been so repulsed at the thought of anyone touching the marks of his Exaltation. The disgust he felt around them now a distant memory as she played with the soft fur, as he pulled her closer with his tail.

The peace that he felt with her in his embrace was short live though as the door was thrown own with such force it reverberated through the room. Evelyn burst in and Cullen’s stomach dropped seeing how drawn and tired she looked. The rich brown hues of her skin had a greyish tint and the normally shinning caste mark on her forehead was now only dimly glowing. She stormed towards him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, roughly pulling him into a seated position. Red and grey mixed on her face, as she failed her arms about as she spoke to him. He cocked his head to the side, realising she wasn’t speaking to him, she was shouting. Cullen frowned, Mum never shouted at him. Lisara was the one that raged and shouted while Evelyn always gave him love and support.

“Mum, stop shouting, I can’t hear what you’re on about.” He prayed he hadn’t shouted back at her.

Evelyn frowned at him, then grabbed his head. A rush of warm essence washed over him and Evelyn’s caste mark vanished. Her hands came to rest on his shoulders as she lent against him, weak from using the last of her essence.

“What in Creation do you think you are doing?” She yelled.  
Cullen winced, his ears now painfully sensitive, but at least he could hear again.  
Evelyn continued, oblivious to his discomfort, “How can you be so irresponsible?”  
“What are you on about?” It was reassuring to hear his own voice, not just feeling it vibrate through him silently.  
She poked him in the chest, “You should be resting, not running off to fuck her the moment you wake up!”  
Behind him, Israfel groaned.  
“I am sick to death of how little regard you have for yourself! Do you have any idea how hard I worked to bring you into this world? I will not let you kill yourself Cullen!” Tears had started to well up in her eyes.  
“Mum,” Unsteadily he stood up, careful to take his weight on his uninjured leg, “what’s wrong?”  
Her anger visibly dissipated as she started to cry, “I spent an entire lifetime worrying if Lisara was going to come home alive, and now it’s happening all over again with you!”  
“Oh Mum...” He grabbed his mother and held her close to his chest, “Everything is fine, I’m right here, and I always will be. You don’t have to worry about me.”  
“It’s a mother’s prerogative to always worry about her child.” Lisara appeared in the doorway. “And you, young man have given us much to worry about over the last few years.”  
“I’m sorry you guys, I know things have been rough... and that I’ve been a bit of an arse...” He said as he stroked Evelyn’s hair.  
“A lot of an arse.” Lisara interjected.  
“Yes...” He frowned, “but I’m gonna make up for it, I promise.”  
Evelyn looked at him and smiled, “Well you can start by making sure that you get some proper rest!”  
“The same needs to be said to you Evelyn.” Lisara’s voice was cool but Cullen could hear the tenderness hidden underneath it, “Let’s get you back to bed and leave these two alone.”

Evelyn nodded, taking Lisara’s outstretched hand and closed the door behind him.

“Sorry about that.” He turned to Israfel who had hidden herself under the sheets. “I hope that wasn’t too awkward.” He had to laugh as she peeked her head out, her face a brilliant shade of crimson.  
“I can’t believe Evelyn said that!” Israfel groaned at him.  
Cullen sat on the bed, his leg definitely needed more rest, “Just be glad it wasn’t Lisara, she has absolutely zero filter.”

Israfel had managed to get herself back into a seated position, she had tried to muffle her gasps of pain but with his hearing restored, Cullen heard every agonising one. Cullen frowned as he looked at her. She looked so small and frail bundled up in his sheets, wrapped in bandages, dark purple bruising marring her usually pristine skin. He reached out and traced a finger along a scuff mark on her cheek.

“I don’t like seeing you like this.” His voice was probably firmer than he had planned as Israfel looked away from him sadly.  
“I don’t like seeing you hurt either.” It was as if she were shrinking before his eyes, wilting, “But I hurt you.”  
Culled couldn’t help but laugh, here she was, definitely the worst injured out of the two of them, yet all she was worried about was his now healed ears. “Is that what you crying to Sunchild about?”  
She nodded sheepishly at him.  
“Honestly I’ve had worse injuries from training. Don’t worry.” Trying to make his voice sound as nonchalant as possible.  
“You’re not angry with me?”  
He could get lost in those eyes as she gazed at him, “I could never be angry at you Israfel.”

Cullen held out his arms, relief washing over him as she crawled across the bed to him, as she climbed into his lap and rested her head on his chest. She was alive and here with him. It doesn’t matter what happens, he told himself, as long as we always end up back here everything will be okay.


	23. Chapter 23

The sun was hanging low in the sky by the time Israfel felt strong enough to leave Cullen asleep to go and find his parents. The labyrinthine corridors of the great mansion were dark and empty, automatic lights flickering on as Israfel tried to navigate her way to Lisara and Evelyn. Once she realised she was lost, Israfel closed her eyes, focusing on the songs of essence around her. Cullen’s was quiet as he slept, Sunchild’s and Eddard’s was roaring together, in perfect sync, they must be training together she assumed. She strained, listening through all the noise until she could pinpoint Lisara and Evelyn. Israfel followed their songs, turning through corridor after corridor as the volume increased. Eventually she found herself at an unmarked door and knocked.

“Come in.”  
Israfel slowly opened the door, the light from the corridor beaming into the dark room.

Evelyn was sound asleep, a pillow held across her chest as she snored gently. Her hair was untamed, wild, as she slept, her glasses tossed aside, her mouth hanging open slightly as soft breaths were interrupted by occasional snoring. In the corner of the room Lisara sat, curled up in an arm chair, her face obscured by shadow, but the glow in her eyes made it obvious she was staring at Evelyn intently. Her white skin shone brightly as the light beam hit her.

“I can sit here for hours looking at her.” Lisara whispered, before turning to look at Israfel, “But I don’t think that’s why you’ve come here.”  
Israfel shook her head, feeling guilty for intruding on such a tender moment.  
Lisara spoke slowly, “So what can we do for you Israfel?”  
“Sorry Lisara, I can come back tomorrow.” She started to back out of the room.  
“But I’m curious about what’s so pressing that you needed to get out of my sons bed to come and see me.” The robotic voice hummed jovially.  
She could feel the blush spreading on her cheeks, but she was coming to learn there virtually no privacy in this home, that it was best to keep her composure, “I... I think I know how to use my essence.”  
“Oh?” Lisara asked as she cocked her head to the side, “Actually using it rather than it just uncontrolled bursts?”  
“Well it’s not well controlled still,” Israfel tapped her nose, Lisara grinned on seeing the family gesture, “but I know what to do now.”  
“Interesting,” The thin woman uncurled herself from the chair, raising to her full height, “and you feel up to showing me now? In your current state?”  
“I thought Evelyn might be interested.” She said quietly, not wanting to wake the Solar.  
Lisara towered over her, not as much as Cullen did, but even with such a thin frame her stature was intimidating, “She will be, but if you’re eager to share, I’m just as curious.”

She looked up at the woman, even with her slight frame it was obvious there was a huge amount of power there. Taut muscles hid just beneath the surface, harsh lines defined by shadows thrown by the hallway light. It was easy to see why everyone regarded her as being one of the strongest people on Creation. Someone who had pushed their body so far wasn’t one to be trifled with.

“Well Isu?” She was grinning at her. “Shall we go elsewhere and see what you can do?”

Lisara seemed almost clumsy, trying to walk slow enough for Israfel to keep up. He long legs unaccustomed to anything slower than her break-neck walking speed. She was able to easily navigate the twists and turns of the mansion, leading Israfel through yet more unfamiliar rooms They stopped in a room entirely lined with thick metal plates, a heavy metal door creaked as Lisara closed it behind them.

“This is my personal training room.” The door sealed with a hiss, “It’s specially designed to let me practice my Infernal Charms without leaking radiation into the rest of the house.”  
“Radiation? Infernal charms? But I thought you were an Alchemical...” The moment she felt like she was starting to understand this household, something else would crop up leaving her with more questions.  
“My essence was polluted by an Infernal I killed.” Lisara crossed her arms, “I can use some of their charms, but the price I pay to do so is high.”  
“Price?” She asked nervously.  
“It could be that I get radiation sickness, or I get severely burned.” Lisara sighed, “It all depends on what I’ve done.”  
Israfel tapped her nose, “Mine seems to make my nose bleed... I guess that’s not too bad then.”  
Her flippancy worked as Lisara threw her head back and laughed, “I better have some tissue on standby! So Isu,” She tapped a few buttons on a small computer display, “show me what you can do.”

There was a whirl of machinery as the room came to life, harsh lights illuminating the cold, metal room. With the rumbling of gears a panel on the wall to her left folded up. Behind it was rows and rows of silicone mannequins, Lisara grabbed one and unceremoniously tossed it at Israfel’s feet.

“These are built to respond to trauma like a human body.” Lisara poked one in the cheek, the silicone dimpling in like real flesh where she added pressure, “They’re not as messy though, so don’t get nervous.”  
Israfel looked at the crumpled silicone body; it looked so human... Fear and disgust hit her again, as she saw Astra at her feet in the place where the dummy once was. “Lisara... I can’t...” She took a step back, “Don’t you have anything less human shaped?”  
Lisara let out an annoyed sigh, “You told me you wanted to learn to fight, that you wanted to be a part of this game. Did you change your mind?”  
She looked at the way Lisara drummed her fingers over crossed arms, the blank stare she was giving. Israfel wanted to run away, but Lisara was right, she did want to learn. “It’s just after actually fighting, I don’t know if I’m ready... if I’m even able to do it. I’m not made of the same stuff as you.”  
“I was eighteen when I first killed someone, I snapped their neck.” Lisara’s stance softened, opened up, “I couldn’t stop shaking afterwards, I kept throwing up. It’s never easy the first time Israfel, but you do get used to it.”  
Israfel frowned, “I don’t know...”  
“You might feel pretty shit now,” Lisara’s heavy arm was placed across her shoulders, aggravating her injury, “but try and draw some comfort from the fact that Astra was dead long before you met her.”  
She tried to pull out of the iron grip but Lisara held her fast, “What?”  
“Abyssal’s are made when a human is contacted by a Deathlord just as they’re about to die. If they accept the offer they’re reborn as an Exalt.” Her voice was so matter-of-fact, as if Israfel should have known this already. “Just think of it as dealing with a rogue corpse.”  
“She was a very animated corpse...” She said doubtfully.  
Lisara clapped her on the back, pain radiating through her flayed flesh and ruined shoulder, “This one isn’t animated. Now hurry up, I’m dying of curiosity.”

Israfel adjusted the sling, relieving some of the discomfort she felt then held out her right arm, her dagger forming from the whorls of essence etched into her skin. Realising she couldn’t click her fingers while holding a dagger, and that her throat was sore enough to put up with her shouting, Israfel gripped the dagger between her teeth. She focused on the dummy and let the world go quiet, feeling the essence swirling around her. Lisara had taken a step back, brow raised curiously. It started as nothing more than a gentle hum, But Israfel grabbed onto it, grabbed onto her song and the hum became a voice, singing out. Using her dagger as the catalyst and her song as the fuel, she pushed outwards, focusing everything she had on the dummy.

She snapped her fingers. 

For a moment Israfel thought nothing had happened the she felt a trickle from her nose. Then there was a great boom around her, the silicone skin vibrated violently, splitting open, leaking clear viscous fluid on the floor.

Her heart soared, she had done it! And without being under the emotional stress that it usually required! Israfel turned to Lisara, a big grin on her face, any doubt or fear she felt quashed by pride. The Exalt was stood wincing, rubbing her left ear.

“Now that is an unusual use of essence.” She yawned, popping her ears, “So you find the right frequency of sound and essence to essentially vibrate things to death?”  
She took the dagger out of her mouth and wiped away her nosebleed with the back of her hand. “I think so. I remember Mum using it to block blows too, and she could make music.”  
Lisara nodded, “You need to refine it more, you use to much essence because you let it bleed out everywhere. If you can learn to focus it more it will be less draining and less destructive to your allies.”  
Israfel took a step back, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  
“No,” Lisara waved a hand dismissively, “my ears are ringing, but they’re not as sensitive as Cullen’s so I’m fine. You’ll need to train in here, this room in soundproof so you won’t have to worry about anyone else.”

The world suddenly started to spin around her as dizziness hit her. She hadn’t even recovered from her battle and was now regretting trying to use her essence again so soon. Lisara reached out and took her arm, giving her the support she desperately needed.

“Let’s take you back to your room, hopefully Evelyn can fix you up tomorrow and you can do some proper training.” Her voice was unusually gentle.  
Israfel laughed weakly, “Training tomorrow? Did you push Cullen this hard too?”  
Lisara leant into her, touching cheek to cheek, “I’ve seen the way you look at my son, you should thank me.”  
She groaned, “Just help me to my room please.”  
The other woman grinned mischievously, “Your room or his?”  
“His...” Israfel replied with a sigh.

~~~

Five days had passed since she had sustained her injuries and she was finally fully recovered other than some bruises. Evelyn had healed her and Cullen with a touch and a flash of golden essence. Lisara had made her start her training right away, ruptured dummies littered the room and her shirt was stained with blood form repeat nose bleeds.

“Again.” Lisara’s voice was devoid of emotion.  
Israfel sighed, she looked to her right arm. The blue essence was tracking further and further up, the spirals snaking up her arm as she used her essence more. “If this keeps up people are going to end up staring at me whenever I got out.” She muttered to herself.  
“You’re not going out anywhere until you’re not being hunted anymore.” Lisara said flatly.

Remembering what happened last time her and Cullen went out, Israfel had to agree with the depressing prospect of being a prisoner here for the moment. She clicked her fingers, it was becoming more and more natural as the day went on. A simple click of the fingers was all it took, only enough focus to know the location of her target was required. Another dummy split open.

“Better, it’s not reverberating around as much now.” There seemed to be a hint of pride in Lisara’s voice.  
Israfel smiled, “It’s feeling a lot easier.”  
Lisara smile, “Good, we’ll had to start practice using you essence defensively soon.”  
The smile was short lived though as Lisara dropped into a defensive stance.  
“Uhh... right now Lisara?” Israfel raised her fists though she felt exhausted.  
“He’s here.”

Before Israfel got a chance to ask who, the door hissed open and an eruption of sound assaulted her ears. The screeching of an un-oiled machine drowned out Lisara’s controlled hum. Shaking, Israfel turned around, there was so much darkness in this sound, so much unchecked rage. A man stood in the doorway, wearing skin-tight jeans, a grey t-shirt and a pair of combat boots. His hair was long and silver, tied back out of the way. As he frowned, he looked straight past Israfel, glaring at Lisara.

“Tepet.” His voice was toneless.  
“Last Enemy.” Lisara replied, her voice shaking with controlled anger. “I said we were to meet at the Golden River.”  
He walked forward, his lanky legs stepping over the piles of ruptured silicone, “There’s no way in hell you’re getting near there, near her.”  
Israfel looked between the two, he felt like an Exalt yet looked so plain. The tension in the room was palpable, suffocating. Israfel wanted to escape but he was blocking the only exit.  
“How is River by the way? Have you made an honest woman of her yet?” There was genuine tenderness in her voice. Israfel found herself curious about what had happened between these two. Such affection but so much anger...  
He softened a little, “If you can tell me how I go about doing that with a Goddess when I’m banned from Yu-Shan, enlighten me.”  
“A Goddess?” Israfel blurted out, curiosity getting the better of her.  
Last Enemy blinked, as if he suddenly realised that there was another person in the room. “Yes, the Goddess of the Yellow River. Is this the woman you told me about Lisara?”  
“Yes,” Lisara put an arm on Israfel’s shoulder, “this is Israfel, daughter of The Musician.”  
He bowed “I am Last Enemy Defeated,” black essence started to form around him, “I’m your ticket to the Realm of The Neverborn.”


	24. Chapter 24

A staff came crashing down towards her head. She tried to dodge but it was as if the trajectory of it moved along with her and the staff made contact with her shoulder. Israfel yelped and the impact vibrated through her body. Eddard took a step back and sighed.

“I told you there was no point of dodging, you can’t get out of the way of a Sidereal with standard moves.” Lisara was tapping her foot as she spoke.  
“It’s impressive for someone that’s only been training a few weeks, but she won’t last five minutes against an Abyssal.” Last Enemy’s voice did not sound as impressed as he claimed to be, it was flat and monotone.  
Sunchild put her arm around him, “She’s already survived fighting two of them. One she even managed to kill!”  
“Well what is she doing then?” He spat, “She’s wasting everyone’s time.”  
“Fuck you.” Lisara interjected, annoyed at the lack of faith people had in her training.  
“I’m inclined to agree with Last Enemy, Lisara.” Eddard lent against their staff. “She’s not even trying to use her essence.”

Israfel wanted to run to Cullen’s arms and hide away, but he was banned from watching the training sessions. Lisara didn’t trust him enough to not get overprotective. Everyone was pushing her so hard, she was in a constant state of pain, her body aching from the relentless training. There was also no need for Eddard to have hit her that hard, they have the skill to pull their attacks, they just chose not too.

“Raise your weapon Eddard.” Israfel tried to pull a determined face, raising her own dagger up, wanting to prove Lisara right. “Let’s try again.”  
They rolled their eyes and took their staff in two hands, “Very well.”

Eddard glowed with purple essence, a halo of it forming around their staff. Israfel closed her eyes, listening to the Sidereal’s symphony, it was distorted as they warped around. She heard the whistling of their staff moving through the air, so clicked her fingers. There was an almighty boom... and then the staff made contact with her thigh, knocking her legs out from under her.

“Not exactly what we had in mind, but I like it Isu!” Lisara was bent over double laughing.  
Israfel looked up, Eddard was towering over her, blood gushing from their nose staining their white robes a brilliant crimson.  
“This is supposed to be a defensive session.” Their voice and face completely deadpan.  
“I’m sorry Eddard,” Israfel stood up and rubbed her thigh, “I was so focused on your essence. I didn’t mean to.” Her own nose started to trickle blood.  
“It is an improvement at least.” Their expression hadn’t changed.  
“Let’s go get you cleaned up Eddard!” Sunchild winked at them, taking them by the arm and leading them towards the house.

A shiver ran down Israfel’s spine as Last Enemy stepped forward, cracking their knuckles and smirking at her. She hadn’t yet been able to figure this new addition to the household out, he looked like human, his song sounded Alchemical, but it had much darker undertones than Lisara’s.

“How about a little hand-to-hand combat Israfel?” The was a loud crack as he rolled his shoulders. “You’re gonna want to block these.”  
Israfel looked around, praying for some kind of reassurance or guidance. She saw Evelyn frowning, leaning into Lisara and whispering in her ear. Whatever she had said made Lisara join her in frowning, deep lines forming on her pale forehead.  
“I don’t think that’s wise, Israfel still needs a lot of training.” Lisara said as she started walking to Israfel.  
Last Enemy chuckled, “I’m surprised to see you so soft for another woman Lisara. Isn’t Evelyn getting jealous?”

It was Israfel’s turn to frown, she was allowed to doubt herself, but it seemed unfair that everyone else was doubting her. After what she’d been through, what she’d done, how hard she had been working, it was just insulting. She held her arm out, palm facing Lisara, stopping the other woman in her tracks.

“It’s fine Lisara.” She didn’t take her eyes off of Last Enemy, “I can do this.”  
“Now that’s what I like to hear!”

Israfel wasn’t given a moment to think or breathe before the lanky Exalt flew at her fast. It was a blur of feet and fists as Last Enemy danced around her. It was more like a deadly piece of choreography than a battle and Israfel managed to find the rhythm of it. He was faster than Lisara, or at least faster than Lisara when she trained with her, his movements were more fluid too, lacking the routine drills of CQC. Where the attacks could come from were unpredictable but when they would come was easy to follow. Israfel moved on the beat, narrowly avoiding him, he was too fast for her to even think about her trying to use a charm. Dodging was her only choice. His song, if it could be called that, suddenly played a single offbeat note. A wild punch came towards her head, she ducked to the side but it wasn’t quite fast enough. Last Enemy’s knuckle grazed her left cheek as it flew past and with it came a sickening pain.

Jumping away from him, she felt something running down her face. His punch must somehow broke the skin, she thought to herself. Israfel wiped her cheek with the her thumb. There was no blood, but a think black ichor running down her hand. She stared at it.

He jumped back and smirked. “I told you that you would want to block me.”  
She wiped her cheek again and her eyes widened in shock and she started to feel sick as her fingers met with bone.  
“Unless you want more like that, I suggest you start taking me seriously.” He crossed his arms, “I am not Lisara and I don’t care if you get hurt.”

He came hurtling towards her, black essence swirling all around him. Last Enemy was moving even faster, she could feel the wind rushing past her as his assaults narrowly missed her body. Israfel could feel herself slowing, her stamina fading as her dodges became more and more clumsy. A flurry of kicks pushed her back, forcing her to dodge right to left, her legs twisted around each other and Israfel fell back. Claws of black essence formed around Last Enemy’s arms and everything started to move in slow motion. He might not kill her but he was definitely aiming to cause some damage. Instinct took over as her grip on her dagger tightened, her other hand whipped up in front of her face. Her own song cried out to her as she clicked her fingers.

Glorious notes rung out, echoing through the garden and her nose exploded with blood.

Last Enemy skidded back from her, pushed back as it sounded like a crack of thunder. His essence dissipated and he grinned at her, relaxing his stance.

Running forward Lisara grabbed Last Enemy by the shirt and snarled at him, “You could have killed her with those charms!”  
Soft hands took hold of Israfel, making her turn her head. It was Evelyn, normally plump lips pulled thin a frown, her golden caste mark shining as she paced a hand over the wound. Her frown deepened, “It won’t heal...”  
“What have you done?” Lisara was right in his face, her face a picture of rage.  
“What you or no one else here could.” Last Enemy pushed Lisara away from him, “You’re too protective of her Lisara, all of you are. Israfel needs pushing to realised her potential, she needed to feel in danger in order to actually protect herself.”  
The two Alchemicals continued to argue, fierce words and even fiercer punches were exchanged.  
Israfel stood up, trying to intervene but Evelyn held her back, “Don’t get involved Israfel, those two just need to fight it out.”  
“But they don’t need to... I’m fine!” She said, wiping the blood and ichor from her face.  
“It’s fine Isu, this is how they have always worked things out.” Evelyn started leading her away from the fray, towards the house. “If I can’t heal it with essence, I’ll have to patch your face up the old fashioned way.”

In the infirmary/laboratory Israfel inspected the wound. It ran right from the crest of her cheekbone to her ear, down to the bone as if her flesh had just melted away. The wound gapped wide and with the location of it, Israfel knew it would be impossible to suture it. She was going to have an impressive scar.

Once she was cleaned up, Israfel followed the sound of Cullen’s song, excited to tell him how her training went. Would he be proud of her? Would he feel safer now she knew how to defend herself? Cullen wasn’t in their room, she followed the soothing song to her study. He was lounging in a chair, legs resting on the desk, reading one of her reference books. He was reading... She smiled to herself, it seemed like such an insignificant thing, but it was a sign some of his old wounds were starting to heal.

“How was your training?” He lowered the book and held his arms open to her.  
Gleefully she bounded into his arms and he pulled her into his lap. “I managed to block Last Enemy with my essence!”  
“Last Enemy?” He frowned slightly, “Lisara made you spar with that psycho?”  
“No, she tried to stop us.” She kissed him on the cheek, “Everyone was doubting me so I proved them wrong!”  
“I’m sure you did.” He touched her face, running his fingers over the dressed wound.  
She ran her fingers over the scar over his eye, “I’ll have a sexy scar like yours now.”  
“You don’t need a scar to be sexy.” He purred at her.  
Israfel couldn’t help but laugh, she still didn’t understand what he saw when he looked at her.  
He took hold of her chin, “You don’t believe me?”  
“Oh come on Cullen,” She rolled her eyes, “I’m plain and chubby and dress like an old lady.”  
Cullen’s hand slipped under her dress and squeezed her thigh, “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever met Israfel, and I like how soft you are.”

It was hard not to believe him, seeing the hunger and adoration in his eyes. Even if she couldn’t see what he did, he still managed to make her feel like a goddess. This mountainous man, this chiselled Adonis, worshiped every inch of her. Then her mind wandered to the tall, toned figure of Sunchild, a woman that literally glowed with ethereal light. How could she feel beautiful next to someone like that?

She looked away from him, “Would you not prefer someone like Sunchild? She’s gorgeous and you wouldn’t have to worry about her that way you do about me?”  
Cullen blink at her bemusedly, “Sun? You know her entire body is artificial right? There was no human base like Lisara had. She’s a Solar soul bound to a robotic body.”  
“I’ve seen her undressed though.” Israfel pouted, “She looks amazing.”  
“You’re not interested in her, are you?” He grinned at her, pulling her closer, teasing her leg with his tail, “Look Israfel, I told you, you’re who I want. Gods Israfel,” His hand travelled further up her thigh, “it’s less of want and more a case of need.”  
“You need me?” She asked quietly. He kept telling her that but it never seemed to sink in.  
His hand traced lines up and down her thigh. “More than anything else.”  
She snuggled in close to him, “I need you too.”


	25. Chapter 25

The news had become more disturbing as of late. Watching it wasn’t exactly Israfel’s idea of relaxing after a round of training, being pushed between pillar and post with Lisara and Last Enemy. A compromise had been reached; both of them spared with her and it had proved exhausting. Between Lisara’s raw power and Last Enemy’s terrifying charms she had been pushed to her limits and beyond. Her body was bruised and her essence drained, but she had made progress, even blocking with essence was becoming less of a chore. Now all she wanted was to curl up and read a book, Evelyn had lent her an exciting romance novel and it was just starting to get good. Instead, she was sat on the floor watching the news.

The mood in the room was morose as the extent the Abyssal’s were going to try and find her was being revealed. More and more towns were being attacked, Exalts from all corners of the world were pushing back but there was still so much death happening. This wasn’t how it was meant to be, Israfel had declared that she wasn’t going to hide while others died for her, but that’s exactly what was happening now. She was hidden away in this mansion, living in luxury, being doted on by Cullen, being trained by the strongest people she knew, being patched up by Evelyn.

Last Enemy sighed, “It’s getting close to crunch time.”  
“Not yet.” Cullen put a protective hand on her shoulder. “Israfel, you’re doing really well, but I don’t think you’re ready for this.”  
Lisara shook her head, “We’re running out of time Cullen.”  
“Indeed. Empress Kagura has informed me that she has lost four Dragon-Blooded units so far and several Solars.” Eddard said coldly as they sipped their tea, “We need to act soon.”  
“I can’t sit by and let people die for me...” Israfel grabbed hold of Cullen’s hand.  
“And I’m not going to stand by and let you get yourself killed Israfel.” Cullen slid off of the chair and sat next to her.  
“You’ve not seen her fight recently Cullen!” Sun exclaimed gleefully, “I think Isu can do it!”  
“Her essence use is becoming rather formidable.” Lisara interjected, “It’s been keeping Evelyn busy with all the repairs needed on Last Enemy and I.”  
“Really?” Cullen sounded genuinely surprised.  
“Yeah, she really shakes us up with those sonic booms of hers!” Last Enemy said as he cracked his knuckles.  
“And we’re all going to be there to help!” Evelyn said, giving Israfel a warm smile.  
Lisara frowned, “Are we? Because you’re not going Evelyn.”  
It was Evelyn’s turn to frown, “Yes I am! You’re all going to need me there!”  
“Not a chance!” Lisara stood up placing her hands on her hips, “I’m not having you put in danger like that!”  
Israfel watched in morbid curiosity, she had never see these two argue before.  
Evelyn stood up to face her wife, “Lisara, I am going.” She poked Lisara in the shoulder, “I am fed up with sitting at home, waiting to see if my family and friends come home to me alive!”  
“This isn’t some trip to the edge of the Wilds Evelyn!” Lisara’s eyes flared green, “This is the Abyssal realm and it’s too dangerous for you.”  
Israfel looked to Cullen, hoping he would be able to diffuse the situation. He just shrugged at her, then pulled her into his embrace. The song of Evelyn raged as Lisara’s hum intensified.  
“And remember what happened last time you went off to another realm to fight a god Lisara!” Evelyn yelled, “You were brought home to me in pieces! I spent months repairing your body! I’m not going through that again! It was horrendous!”  
“But Evelyn...” Whined Lisara.  
“Enough arguing you two. If my sister wants to come then she is welcome.” It was Eddard who spoke, stepping in between the two.  
“Fighting between ourselves is pointless. We’re all going to be needed.” Sunchild said as she put an arm around Lisara, “Calm down, there’s safety in numbers.”  
“When shall we leave then?” Israfel asked.  
She felt Cullen tighten his embrace around her. His strong arms making her feel safe.  
“I have a few projects that I’m working on that might be useful,” Evelyn tapped her nose, “They should be finished this week though.”  
Stretching and cracking every joint possible, Last Enemy spoke firmly. “One week from today then. I’m getting bored here anyway.”  
“One week...” Cullen muttered, “Is that ok Israfel?”  
It will have to be, she thought to herself. “Yeah, the sooner this is over, the better.”  
“I better get back to work then.” Evelyn announced before leaving the room, Lisara quickly following after her.  
Sunchild winked to Eddard, “Want to go do some... training?”  
“Nice and subtle there Sun.” Last Enemy said with a chuckle.  
Drawing their lips into a thin frown, Eddard crossed their arms, “Mind your own business.”  
“Hey I’m not going to judge.” Last Enemy waved their hand dismissively, “I don’t give a shit what any of you do as long as you’re ready in one week.”  
“Come on Eddard, let’s go.” Sunchild grabbed them by the arm and dragged them out of the room.  
Cullen looked to Israfel questioningly, but she could only shrug. She’d seen so little of Sunchild except during training that she had no idea what Sun and Eddard had been up too. Perhaps the synchronising of their songs was from something other than training.  
Last Enemy turned his attention to Israfel and Cullen, “I suggest that you two start training together.”  
She was pulled closer by Cullen as he spoke, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  
“That’s why you need to do it.” Last Enemy put his hands on his hips, “The Abyssal realm is dangerous, you two need to get used to seeing each other in combat without getting emotional about it.”

They looked at each other doubtfully, she hated the thought of him getting injured, hated those cries of pain she had heard. Israfel doubted she would ever get used to fighting, let alone doing it alongside Cullen. Seeing the fear in his eyes she could see he felt the same. She wanted to be strong for him though.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Israfel tried to smile reassuringly at Cullen, “I’m excited to show how much I’ve improved!”  
“It’s not that I doubt you Israfel,” Cullen’s brows were pulled down into a deep frown, “but I’m not comfortable with you even going on this mission.” His fingers traced the long pink scar across her cheek.  
“Well I’m going.” She kissed him on the cheek, “And I’m gonna kick your butt tomorrow!”  
In a blur of movement she found herself underneath Cullen, her wrists pinned above her head by one of his massive hands. He was grinning at her, fangs bared, “Is that so?”  
“Right I’m out of here...” Last Enemy made a quick exit from the room, leaving them alone.  
Underneath the mass of muscles, Israfel squirmed, trying to break free. Surprised flickered across Cullen’s face as Israfel started to work herself loose from his grasp. He glowed faintly with silver essence and he became completely immovable, her wrists held fast.  
“Now this is interesting,” Cullen licked his lips, he tongue almost dripping with saliva, “No one has ever made me use my essence before.”

Israfel continued to struggle, kicking one of his legs out from under him. She took advantage of his surprise and hooked her other leg around his, using what little weight she had to topple him over. Quickly rolling over, she straddled Cullen, he might still have her hands, but she beamed with pride. Sunchild had been teaching her grappling and she swelled with pride seeing her lessons come fruition.

Her hands were released as Cullen placed both hands on her waist, “You are just full of surprises tonight.”  
She lent forward placing two hands on his chest, pushing her breasts together, “Why don’t we go somewhere private and find out how much more I can surprise you.”  
His grin softened and it became a big dopey smile.  
“What?” She cocked her head to the side.  
“You’ve changed a lot from that blushing virgin you were a few weeks ago.”  
She blushed. “You...you... I...” Israfel sat back covering her face with both her hands and looked away, She knew she shouldn't have been so forwards. “I just feel more comfortable around you.”  
Cullen’s arms wrapped around her and he sat up, pulling her against his chest, “That’s music to my ears Israfel.” He brushed his lips against hers, “Just don’t ever lose that beautiful blush, it drives me wild.”  
“So,” she said coyly, “want to go back to your room?”  
He picked her up and got to his feet, “I have somewhere better in mind.”

She was carried though the house, down yet more unfamiliar corridors and she found herself in an ornate marble bathroom, similar to the one she had never had a chance to experience in Meru. The bath was more akin to a swimming pool, the edges of it lined with countless bottles of scents and oils. Silk embroided with beautiful flowers hung around the bath. Cullen placed her down gently, the tiles cool against her bare feet. He locked the door behind them and winked at her.

“Some actual privacy.” He purred as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Israfel bit her lip, watching the rippling muscles of his torso as he walked about the bath, picking out oils and pouring in generous helpings. The room filled with complimentary sweet scents as steam rose from the water, the temperature in the room rising. As the lights dimmed she studied his glistening skin as stripped off, the way he massive hamstrings and calves contracted and relaxed as he walked. The sheer size and power of his legs making hers grow weak. He lowered himself into the water, breathing a satisfied sigh.

Then his gaze met hers and beckoned her over, “The water is great, come on in.”

She blushed as he watched her undress, studying her the way she had studied him.

The cool marble sent a shiver down her spine as she sat on the edge of the bath, testing the water with her feet. It was so warm and soothing, washing her aches away. Cullen waded over to her and started to massage her legs, strong fingers working out the knots in her muscles. His rough fingers dug in almost painfully to her tender flesh, she could feel cords of her muscles popping as he worked on them.

“You’re so tense.” He whispered as he worked his way up to her thighs.  
She only murmured in reply, enjoying the perfect pressure he was applying.  
“Let’s work some more of it out!”  
Her thighs were pushed apart and Cullen stared at her exposed body. Israfel could feel her blush spreading as he looked at her, eyes filled with adoration. “Cullen?”  
“You are an absolute Goddess.” His eyes flickered up to meet hers, “Let me worship you.”

His mouth was warm an wet against her. She shuddered at his intimate kiss, at the way he lavished her with his tongue. Israfel took hold his ears, stroking the soft fur as she hummed in pleasure. He growled in reply, sending vibrations of pleasure through her body. Israfel fell back against the marble floor as he pushed his tongue inside her, hungrily lapping at her. As her release hit her, Cullen pulled her into the water and cradled her as she moaned his name. Once she felt her strength returning, Israfel traced her fingers down the hard planes of his body until her fingers found his hard cock. She teased him with gentle strokes, running her delicate fingers in circle over the sensitive tip.

As she took him in her hand, stroking him, Cullen kissed her. He still tasted of her making her shudder with excitement. She roughly grabbed his hair as they kissed, pulling him on top of her, both of them crashing beneath the surface of the water. They rolled around, enveloped by the water as they embraced each other, hands exploring the hard lines and soft curves of their bodies. Their kiss broke apart and Israfel wrestled Cullen to the surface, her lungs screaming out, gasping as she inhaled the sweet air.

Cullen grabbed at her, play fighting as they wrestled for control. Cullen had the advantage of size and strength, but skin slick with the oily bathwater Israfel could easily wiggle her way out of his grapples. She pushed herself away from him, playfully trying to escape to the other side of the pool. He caught her; taking a fistful of her hair, pulling her back to him, the other slipping around her waist taking hold of her clit between finger and thumb. Israfel yelped as his cock slammed into her, taking her from behind. It still hurt, but it was only a sting now compared to the overwhelming pain of her first time. He filled her completely, the angle he entered her at making her see stars. She reached for the edge of the bath to brace herself, grateful for the water supporting her body as all strength left her. He fucked her hard, animalistic as he grunted and groaned behind her. Israfel could only whimper as waves of pleasure hit her over and over again, her body trembling as she lost all sense of time. Her hair was griped painfully tight as Cullen let out a howl, shaking with the force of his own release.

She was freed from his embrace. Panting, she pulled herself to the edge of the pool, resting her head on the cool marble. Israfel felt him slide up next to her, she could hear his laboured breathing as he gently took hold of her.

“I love you so much.”  
Adoration filled her as she studied his face; his half closed eyes, his gentle smile.  
“I love you too.” She whispered.


	26. Chapter 26

Cullen’s ears rung painfully as he skidded back.

“Are you ok?”

Israfel was looking at him, fear in her eyes as she clutched her dagger to her chest. He wasn’t ok, every fibre of his being was screaming to stop what he was doing. Mercifully, Israfel was skilled enough now that she had been able to block his attacks, but coming at her claws and fangs bared turned his stomach. Cullen had tried to hold back, but Israfel had scolded him, interpreting his caution with a lack of faith. She had begged him to fight her in his anthropomorphic battle form and he had begrudgingly complied, not wanting to insult her. 

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

She nodded at him, readying her weapon once more. The swirls of essence etched into her arm had snaked up even higher, reaching her upper arm now, glowing with her determination. Cullen tensed before leaping at her. He was impressed, she had found good balance of dodging, parrying and using her essence to bounce attacks away. His confidence in her grew, as he wasn’t able to land a hit, admittedly he wasn’t using his essence it’s full extent, but still she was holding up remarkably well.

“You need to fight back Israfel.” Last Enemy yelled over the booming of her essence.  
Israfel backed off, “But attacking with my essence is too dangerous.”  
“Use your dagger then. You can’t win if you’re only ever on the defensive.”  
“It’s fine Israfel,” Cullen tried to sound as soothing as possible, “You won’t hurt me.”

She pounce at him half-heartedly, her attacks were easy to parry. Israfel went to stab him in the stomach, but her offence was slow and reluctant. Cullen twisted out of the way, taking hold of her wrist and pulling her off balance. Playfully he slapped her shapely ass as she stumbled past him. A roar of laughter erupted from the onlookers clearly infuriating Israfel as she lunged at him again, blue essence swirling around her. She swung at him and he easily parried the attack but Israfel instantly switched the grip on her dagger, the blade now pointing back towards him. Too surprised by her quick thinking, Cullen let his guard down and the blade sunk deep into his forearm as she stabbed backwards. The tip exited the other side of his arm, blood matting his fur, darkening it even further.

Last night in the bath had proved to him she wasn’t as delicate as she had once been, the dagger in his arm cemented that fact.

Cullen reached forward, grabbing her hair with his injured arm and pulling her back to him. His arm screamed out in protest. Her arm twisted forcing here to let go of her weapon, it fading away in a puff of blue essence. Cullen lifted her off the floor. She weighed so little, but still he didn’t want to hurt her, so he encircled her with his other arm, supporting her. He brought his teeth to her neck, careful not to break the soft skin. To his heightened sensed, she smelt so incredible; sweat, fear and excitement all mixed together to make an exhilarating cocktail. It was easy to forget they had an audience as he ran his tongue over her, she tasted sweet. He could feel her trembling against her; was it fear or something else he wondered.

“That’s enough you two, leave the rough sex to the bedroom.” Lisara chuckled as she spoke.  
He could feel the heat radiating off of Israfel.  
“Cullen put me down!”  
Gently, he lowered her to the ground. Her hair was messy and there was dimples in her neck where his teeth had pressed against her.  
“I didn’t hurt you did I?”  
She frowned at him, “You’re asking me that? I stabbed you!”  
Evelyn stepped forward, “It’s nothing Israfel, I can fix him up easily.”  
Cullen smiled at his mother as her warm essence washed over him, the muscle and sinew of his arm knitting back together. “No harm done. See.” He held out a healed arm to Israfel.  
A shiver ran down his spine as her fingers explored the sensitive skin of his fresh scar, ruffling the fur, “As long as you’re okay...”  
“A big strong man like that will be fine!” Sunchild put her arm around Israfel, “Let’s go mediate and replenish your essence.”  
Lisara nodded, “That’s enough for the moment. Everyone go rest up and we’ll continue later.”

Cullen watched as Israfel was dragged away. He desperately wanted to drag her away himself and hold her, comfort her but it seemed like as usual people had other plans for them. He longed for the time when this will be over so he could take her somewhere quiet like he had promised. Somewhere people would stop making plans for them, stop keeping them apart and give them some privacy. It wasn’t like he was shy, but having people walking in on him and Israfel wasn’t his idea of fun. Admittedly the blush it had given Israfel when Lisara had burst while his hand was up her dress was beautiful, but after it Israfel had backed off after that.

His mother’s mechanical voice interrupted his internal monologue, “The harder we push you two, the sooner this will be over Cullen.”  
He frowned at her, annoyed he could be so easily read.  
“You’re underpowered for someone that’s meant to have been Exalted for two years.” Last Enemy spoke up, “What have you been doing with him Lisara.”

Two years of pain smacked him like a sledgehammer.

_After the red faded, all he saw was darkness. His hands were covered in blood, his mouth tasted of iron. He was curled up on the floor, his vision obscured by Evelyn’s face as she spoke softly to him. He couldn’t hear the words though, his mind was racing, what happened? Where is Felicity?_

_Felicity! Those men had been hurting her!_

_He jumped up, eyes scouring the room to try and find her. The entire room was splattered with blood and entrails and in the middle of it laid Felicity. Her body was broken, her eyes glassy. Cullen ran to her, his legs felt weak underneath him, his arms trembling as he reached out to her. She was so cold... The sounds that escaped him as he cradled her sounded so alien, so inhuman. Hot tears streamed down his face. Felicity was gone, this couldn’t be real._

_“Cullen we need to go.”  
It was Lisara’s voice that spoke to him. He looked at her blankly. Why was she here?  
“You’ve Exalted, we need to take you home.”  
She grabbed at him, trying to pull him away, but silver essence flared around him and he didn’t budge.  
“I’m not leaving her!” He yelled.  
“Fine,” she grabbed his arm, “we’ll do this here.”_

_His focused turned back to Felicity, she felt so small and frail in his arms. She had always been so strong... How could this happen? He continued to wail as he held his dead fiancé, Evelyn’s arms around him speaking softly to him, trying to comfort him. Lisara offered him nothing as she engraved his arm with moonsilver. At the time he had been furious at how cold she was, now he understood her actions though._

_Then came the women, a desperate attempt to fill the void. He lost count of how many women he had enticed to sleep with him. Cleaners, cooks, lab assistants and military personnel. If they were young and pretty, he had been with them. Evelyn had been tearing her hair out, screaming at him for making her lose so many good assistants. None of these women had done it for him though, sex had just been mechanical with them, devoid of any emotion as he just went through the motions. Desperate to just try and feel something other than pain. Even Lisara had been getting fed up with him, fed up with having to deal with the fallout of his callousness, the constant turnover of staff._

_Cullen’s mind travelled to months later, that time had been a blur, he had spent his time drinking and fucking away his pain. Trying anything to numb the terrible emptiness he felt. Nothing was working though. All he longed for was an end to the suffering. A feeling of nausea washed over him but he kept it down. Cullen as laid on the floor, surrounded by bottles of vodka and empty pill packets. He wasn’t going to let himself vomit, he had taken enough to kill a dozen humans and he could feel the cocktail he had taken was starting to work. Darkness started to take over him, the sweet void was coming. An end to his pain. Cold metal fingers forced their way into his mouth, he was too weak to bit down on the invader. The fingers pushed further, into his throat. Cullen retched, half dissolved pills bathed in vodka spewed forth from him and he was pulled into a seated position. The darkness retreated as gold essence embraced him. Evelyn was sobbing as she glowed, but Lisara’s face was a picture of rage._

_“You miserable idiot!” Her metal hand slapped him hard around the face as she screamed at him._

_That was only the first time his parents had brought him back from the brink. He had been a nightmare to live with during that time. Lisara and Evelyn must have lived in a constant state of fear, Cullen fought bitterly with them at every chance he got, tried to kill himself again and again. What a nightmare it must have been for them..._

He looked up to Last Enemy, “She did her best. They both did.”  
Lisara grabbed his hand, “Cullen...”  
“Any failure in my training, in my Exaltation, is down to my own weakness.”  
The wind was knocked out of him as Evelyn hugged him tightly, “You had every right to be weak Cullen, but I’m pleased to have my son back at last.”  
Cullen returned the hug with one arm and squeezed Lisara’s hand with the other, “I’m glad to be back.”

~~~

“That was quite the display you two put on!”  
Israfel blushed as she sat cross legged opposite Sunchild.  
“So passionate, so erotic! You two are an absolute dream!” Sunchild was grinning at her.  
“It was just training...”  
“Training my arse,” She laughed, “It looked like he was ready to fuck you right there in front of everyone! I’m so jealous! It’s been so long since I’ve felt that kind of passion!”  
Israfel cocked her head to the side, “But aren’t you and Eddard...?”  
“Oh that’s just a bit of fun.” Sunchild waved her hand dismissively. “Eddard’s heart belongs to the Empress, I’m just a temporary distraction.”  
“Are you okay with that?”  
“I wouldn’t be doing it if I wasn’t.” She replied nonchalantly. “It’s hard to feel love the way you do when I don’t have a heart.”  
Israfel shuffled closer, “Sun you’re one of the brightest, kindest people I know! Of course you have a heart!”  
She shook her head, “There’s an emptiness that comes with having an completely artificial body. I haven’t felt true love since the Golden Age.”  
“The Golden Age?” Her eyes widened with shock, “Are you that old?”  
“My soul is. This body is much younger though.” Sunchild smiled, though it lacked her usual warmth. “I’m not just jealous of you, but of Lisara and Evelyn, of all humans and Exalts really. Their hearts, their soft bodies... It’s why I settled in Yu-Shan it’s easier being among the Gods.”  
Israfel’s heart sank as Sunchild’s song took on a mournful tone, filled with minor notes. She had never imagined the bright Sunchild would harbour such sadness.  
“Sun...”  
“It’s okay Isu, we don’t always get to choose the path we’re put on. We just have to make the best of what we’re given.” Her smile brightened, “Just like you have!”  
“Like me?”  
Sunchild grabbed her hands, “Look at you! Isu you lost everything but here you are forging ahead! I know you still suffer, but you’ve found your own happiness here!”  
“Only because of you and the others!”  
“You don’t give yourself enough credit Isu.” She squeezed her hands tightly, “You’re own strength is what really shines through.”  
“I only hope I’m strong enough to end this.”  
“You are.” Sun let go of her hands, “Now let’s mediate, focus on drawing essence from the world around you to strengthen your own.”

Israfel nodded and sat back, closing her eyes. The song of the world burst into life around her, beautiful and sweet. The world seemed oblivious to the suffering going on, to the fear that was rippling through humanity. Creation was so pure, unable to be contaminated by the Abyssals. Israfel drew on it, invigorated by it’s divinity. Determination washed over her, she couldn’t et the others down. Despite Sunchild telling her how strong she is, she still felt weak compared to everyone else. She wasn’t going to hide behind them though, she only had a few more days of training before departing into the unknown and she wasn’t going to waste that time. Her own song sung out in chorus, Israfel could hear it ringing through her ears, a bright melody reaching up to the Heavens.

“Israfel!”  
Her eyes opened, the world was glowing blue around her.  
“I can hear you’re song Israfel!” Sunchild’s eyes alight with awe.  
Her body felt light, and she could feel essence coursing through her. “Sunchild what’s this feeling?”  
“It’s divine essence Israfel!” Sunchild clapped her hands, “It’s how the gods use it!”

Was this it? The strength she had reached for? Was this the power she needed to end this all and finally live in peace again?


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It feels like it's taken me ages to write this chapter. I just didn't know how to move the story forward.
> 
> I spent some time re-reading and editing the rest of the chapters instead.
> 
> Also this is a lot longer than usual XD

There was a definite tension in the air as Israfel stood under the hard stare of Lisara and Evelyn. The two woman were looking at her intently, having separated her from Cullen and hiding her away in Lisara’s training room. Israfel shifted uncomfortably, unsure what the coming dressing down was going to be about. She was sure that her training was continuing well, and she certainly hadn’t upset Cullen. Lisara was wearing her training gear, a black sports bra and matching hot-pants, it seemed to be Lisara’s prerogative to wear as little clothing as possible. It was understandable, her body was long, sleek and elegant, if Israfel was as toned at that, she would probably be happy showing a bit more of herself off. In contrast Evelyn was far more conservative, long, bright floral dresses and laboratory coats seemed to be her preferred style. The two women seemed like polar opposites of each yet they worked so well together.

“We’ve been talking Israfel.” It was Evelyn who broke the silence.  
Butterflies formed in her stomach. “What about?” Her voice was weak.  
Evelyn sighed, “It’s just that we don’t want to see Cullen hurt again.”  
Israfel found herself actually offended that they would even think such a thing of her, “I would never...”  
Lisara cut her off with a wave of her hand, “Not intentionally, no. But we’re going somewhere dangerous. If you get hurt or...” she frowned, “worse, we’ll end up losing both you and our son.”  
A crushing sensation took over her chest, she had worked so hard, received so much praise, just to be told the day before they were leaving that she wasn’t good enough.  
“It’s not that you’re weak Israfel, it’s that ideally we need more time.” Evelyn tried to sound comforting.  
“That’s not a luxury we have though.” Lisara’s voice was much colder. “The reports I have been receiving are getting worse. If I had six more months with you, I might be happy, but as it stands I don’t know if you are ready”  
“But Lisara...” She could feel the tears coming. All the pain she had been through, all the blood, sweat and tears. Would it all be for nothing now? She was going to be left behind, alone, powerless and afraid. ”I’ve been working so hard...”  
Evelyn’s warm hands grabbed hers, “We know you have, that’s why I’ve managed to convince Lisara to give you a chance. I’ve made you a few pieces of tech that might help.”  
“Help?” She looked to Lisara and gulped.  
The Alchemical had summoned her massive sword and was leaning against it casually.

Cold metal was pressed into her left hand, a plain black band clasped tightly around her palm.  
“This is soulsteel, if you focus your essence through it, it will stun whoever you’re touching.” Explained Evelyn. “Just in case someone get’s close, it’s a bit more protection for you.”  
The band was jet black against her skin, she waited until Evelyn let go of her hands before trying to push her essence through it. The steel immediately accepted her offering of, sucking her essence up greedily before expelling flash of blue lightning. It made her hand tingle, like static. Israfel was grateful to not be on the receiving end of the shock.  
“Very good.” Lisara said gleefully, “You’re heritage is becoming more and more apparent.”  
She was right, just using the band had made the blues whorls of essence start to form on her left hand now. Israfel stared at it curiously, wondering how much further these etchings into her skin would go. She didn’t remember her mother being marked in this way, she hadn’t met an Exalt who looked like this either.  
“I’ve made you some armour too.” Evelyn pulled a silver choker from her pocket, “Discrete Essence Armour; it uses your own essence to absorb minor attacks, freeing you up to focus on things that might cause some real damage.”  
“Thank you Evelyn.” Israfel took the choker and clipped it around her neck. It sat almost completely flush to her skin as she ran her fingers over it, blue essence shimmered over her as if she were covered in a mesh, before it vanished. “You’re giving me these things as if you’re expecting that I’m going to be coming with you all. Have you talked to Cullen about this? He doesn’t want me to go.”  
“I’m giving them to you because I have faith in you.” She tapped her nose, “As for Cullen, this isn’t about him. His reluctance for you to come is purely selfish.”  
“As is yours and Lisara’s.”  
A hearty laugh erupted from Lisara, “True. But that’s not going to stop me from locking you in this room to keep you from coming with us.” Lisara cracked her knuckles, “That is unless you impress me.”  
She already knew the answer, but she felt like she had to ask anyway. “How do I do that?”  
“Fight me.”

Israfel’s blood ran cold. Lisara’s voice was devoid of any emotion and her choice of wording was unnerving. Spar, training, practice were all words that she had used before, but the word fight felt so much more threatening. There was the distinct possibility Lisara could really hurt her.

“I’m not going to hold back this time Israfel.”  
Evelyn coughed and pinched Lisara’s arm.  
“Fine, I’ll fight you with my full Alchemical Exaltation.” Lisara rolled her eyes, “No Infernal charms, we don’t need anymore scars on that pretty face of yours.”

Summoning her dagger in her right hand, Israfel nodded, trying to appear confident. She was shaking though. It wasn’t just the fear of Lisara hurting her, this fight was about more than just trying not to get injured. It as about her life, her freedom, her self worth. If she didn’t impress Lisara she would be left behind as a weak, passive person, hiding behind others to protect her. The Abyssals were her battle to win, they had destroyed her family, were hunting her and causing death and destruction to get to her. It was her job to end this: she would gladly accept the help of Cullen and his family but she wasn’t going to hide behind them.

The tip of Lisara’s massive sword was pointed towards her face, “Or you could just say that you’ll stay here. If you’re afraid of me, you really don’t want to face The Mask of Winters.”  
Israfel readied her weapon, her essence shining as she readied herself, “I don’t know if I can beat you Lisara....” Her voice was trembling as she spoke, “but I’m not going to just give up, after everything I’ve been through, I can’t.”  
“Then prove yourself Israfel.”

Evelyn had backed off into a far corner of the room, giving the pair ample room to fight. Her arms folded across her chest, a deep frown painted on her face. She always frowned when watching Lisara fight. Israfel understood it though, she still felt sick thinking about Cullen’s cries of pain.

The wind rushed around the edge of the blade as it swung towards her, the sharp polished blade reflecting the luminescent light. Israfel barely managed to get out of the way, the tip of sword tearing through the fabric of her dress. She wasn’t given a moment to breath before Lisara swung from her again. With a click of her fingers the blade bounced away from her, but the force was too intense. Israfel skidded backwards, blood pouring from her nose. That was the first time she had ever blocked a blade with her essence, focusing her energy on the sharp edge. Lisara stumbled back and snarled at her, then vanished. Israfel looked around wildly, unsure how she could fight someone she couldn’t see. Her eyes met with Evelyn, the older woman smiled at her and tapped her ears. Of course, she could still hear Lisara’s essence.

In such a small room it was difficult to hear exactly where Lisara was, the mechanical hum seemed to be coming from all around her. It was almost too late by the time she realised that the sound was actually coming from all around her, Lisara was circling her, trying to confuse her. Then her essence roared to life, Israfel saw stars as the hilt of the blade smashed into the underside of her jaw. Teeth snapped together painfully and Israfel tasted blood as her tongue got caught in between her front teeth. The blue mesh of essence flared around her, absorbing enough of the shock so her jaw didn’t shatter from the impact. Push though it, she told herself, you’ve had worse than this... Grabbing out with her left hand, she found Lisara’s wrist and took hold of it. Utilising the new tools Evelyn had given her, Israfel pushed essence into the soulsteel band. In a flash of blue light Lisara cried out, dropping the sword to floor with an almighty crash. Israfel stamped her foot down, next to the blade, sending out a shockwave that made it skid across the floor. She knew Lisara was dangerous even without a weapon, but that sword could easily cut through bone. Scars were one thing that she didn’t mind, but she didn’t like the idea of an amputation.

The pair danced off of each other, neither one landing a hit. Lisara was too fast to land a blow on, but Israfel had quickly learnt how to fight defensively. Able to block and parry the onslaught of punches and kicks, Israfel’s confidence grew. She feigned to grab at Lisara’s ankle as the Alchemical tried to round house kick her. Lisara fell for it, leaning forwards to grab Israfel’s wrist to stop the shock-band making contact with metal flesh. Bones crunched as Israfel felt Lisara’s grip tighten, the pain and sound of it making her feel nauseous, but she had to keep going. If this were an Abyssal there would be no mercy, and she was here to prove she could fight those monsters. Israfel swung with her dagger, aiming for Lisara’s bare shoulder, but it skidded across a green mesh of essence. Of course Lisara had armour too... She stabbed at the woman again, aiming for her face but expecting the same result.

As the tip of her dagger sank into Lisara’s face, Israfel felt sick. The dagger tore through the woman’s cheek, but all Lisara did was grin. Then Israfel’s ears were met with a clacking sound, teeth on metal as Lisara bit down on the blade embedded into her face. A sickening crack filled the room as Lisara flipped away from her, Israfel’s held wrist snapping like kindling, her dagger wretched from her grasp out of her other hand. Suddenly the room was flying past her, Israfel was in the air, thrown by her broken wrist. Just before she hit the hard metal wall, she managed to muster up the strength for one last click of her fingers. She may have lost but she wasn’t going down without a fight. The entire room shook with the force of her essence but Israfel didn’t manage to see the result as her body smashed into the wall, her vision going black.

“Israfel.”  
The voice that called to her was soft and melodic, faintly familiar.  
She tried to open her eyes but couldn’t. She tried to move but her body refused. She was definitely unconscious, so why could she hear someone calling to her?  
“Come now child.”  
A second voice spoke, this one painfully familiar. Deep and gruff but with such tenderness behind it. It felt as if tears filled her eyes, she had never thought she would hear that sweet farmers accent again.  
“Daddy.” She whispered as she opened her mind’s eye.

Jared was sat next to her, his image rippling like the surface of water. Sorrow and joy filled her simultaneously on seeing that familiar broad frame, that inviting, weathered face once again. Israfel had never thought she would see him again, her last memory of him was so brief, glancing at him as he spoke with Lisara drinking coffee, their last conversation to awkward.

Israfel sat up, there was no pain, she wasn’t in her body right now, a blessed relief. “Daddy I’m so sorry...”  
Her face tingled as Jared gently brushed tears away. A blue, ethereal form appeared behind him, long black hair twinkling with starlight.  
“You don’t have long Jared.”  
Her Father looked to the ethereal form, her Mother, and nodded. “You’ve nothing to be sorry about Israfel.”  
“But I wasn’t there for you!” she grabbed his hand.  
“If you had been there for me Israfel, you’d be dead too.”  
The Musician crouched down, “It’s better this way Israfel, even if it does hurt.”  
Jared nodded, “I’m glad he kept you safe. That was all I hoped for.”  
A weak smile spread across her face, “We keep each other safe Dad.”  
“What did I tell you about guys like him Israfel?” Jared said as he chuckled.  
“Dad, don’t make this as awkward as our last conversation.”  
“I’m sorry child, I just worry about you.” He squeezed her hand, “I won’t be able to watch over you soon.”  
Israfel’s heart sank and she grew cold, “What...?”  
Her mother leant forwards, “His soul is being called for reincarnation. Jared will be gone soon, his soul recycled in the never ending circle of essence.”  
Into her Father’s arms, Israfel threw herself, cherishing his strong embrace, “Do you have to go?”  
She felt him nod in reply.  
Pulling herself away from him slightly she planted a wet kiss on his cheek, tears running silently from her eyes, “Goodbye Dad.”  
“Goodbye Israfel.”

The world around her flashed white, then her eyes opened for real. She had been rolled onto her side, into the recovery position. At her head sat Sunchild. Across the room Lisara was on her hands and knees vomiting up green essence. Next to her was Evelyn, Eddard and Last Enemy, all holding Cullen back as he shouted and screamed. His face was red, furious, silver essence flaring around him as it took three people to restrain him.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He roared, “How could you do that to her?”  
“Calm down Cullen!” Golden essence flared around Evelyn and she pushed him away, “Lisara is really hurt, I need to look after her, not waste my time stopping you from killing her!”  
Guilt hit Israfel hard, she had hurt Lisara? Badly at that... “Cullen...” She whispered through winded and protesting lungs.  
Immediately his whole demeanour changed, all his tension and fury disappeared as his attention turned to her. Cullen broke free from the other Exalts and leapt over to her, kneeling at Israfel’s side. “You’re awake!”  
Pushing herself up with her uninjured arm she nodded at him, “Don’t be mad at her, please.”  
Further conversation was interrupted by Evelyn, her voice full of urgency, “Sun, Last Enemy, carry Lisara to the infirmary. Israfel,” the caste mark on Evelyn’s forehead shone brightly, “I’ll have to see to you later.”  
“I’m sorry Evelyn...”  
The Solar only nodded to her; Evelyn's song full of an urgency that Israfel had never heard before. Behind her Lisara was gently carried by the other two Alchemicals as her head rolling about, deep groans pouring from her mouth along with raw essence.  
Eddard walked over to Israfel and squatted down. “It’s been about twenty-five years since anyone properly injured Lisara. I didn’t think it were possible anymore to be honest. Well done.”  
Israfel sat herself, using Cullen as leverage, “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”  
“My sister will patch her up. Everything will be fine.”  
“Are you alright Israfel?” “Cullen pulled her close.  
“My wrist hurts but it’s nothing serious.”  
Eddard laughed, it as an unusual sound coming from the usually reserved person, “A broken wrist is nothing? You’ve changed a lot very quickly.”  
Cullen said as he picked Israfel up and stood to his feet, “Tell me what happened twenty-five years ago. I need to know why she's like this.”  
Pushing their glasses up their nose, Eddard sighed, “Your parents have kept a lot from you it seems. Come have some tea with me and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

Ever-so gently Israfel was carried through the mansion, to a quiet tearoom and placed down in a pile of pillows. She wriggled about, snuggling down in them until she found a position where her body didn’t completely ache, the pillows supporting her throbbing hips and back. Opposite them sat Eddard, pouring out three cups of bitter, green tea.

“So Nephew, what would you like to know about your Mother?”  
Israfel frowned, everyone had told her how much Lisara hated her past being brought up, it felt like she was intruding on something best left to rest, but the eagerness in Cullen’s face kept her quiet. He had heard so many rumours about her, but he barely seemed to know who Lisara really was.  
“How did Lisara Exalt?”  
Eddard tapped their nose, “That was partially Evelyn’s doing. Lisara volunteered herself to be part of an experimental project to create the ultimate soldier. The Alchemical project. Lisara and Last Enemy were the first of their kind. Evelyn was heavily involved in the project, she essentially stripped Lisara down and rebuilt her into what she is.” A prideful smile crossed their face, “My sister is a genius when it comes to essence technology. The Alchemicals are only as powerful as they are because of her. Sadly there were some unexpected side effects. Who would have guess stripping people of everything that made them human would have had such damaging results to their psyche.” The last sentence dripped with sarcasm.  
“Her psyche?” Israfel interjected, Lisara seemed nothing but a pillar of strength. There didn’t seem to be any cracks in that woman, physically or mentally.  
“She is much more stable than she used to be. Lisara has a much tighter control on her emotions these days. In her youth, just after her Exaltation, she had nearly uncontrollable anger issues. My sister was the only one that could calm her. When they were parted it was very dangerous for creation.”  
Cullen’s voice was cautious as he spoke, “How dangerous?”  
Eddard help up their hand, “I am not Lisara’s biggest fan, but I’m going to first tell you everything Lisara has ever done, she did it with the best of intentions to protect Meruvia. Her judgement may have been impaired, but she truly believe in what she was doing at the time, even if she is filled with regret now.”  
Silently, Cullen nodded.  
“You have heard of the archipelago islands of Haven and how they are a nuclear wasteland?”  
The nodding continued.  
“And of the destruction of the Yellow River cities?”  
More nodding.  
“That was all Lisara’s doing. She was sent to those places to neutralise a small threat. She lost her temper and decimated everything in her way.”  
“Gods...” Cullen went pale, “I heard people call her a murderer, but I never thought it was something like that...”  
“People call her a murderer because she pinned Princess Charlotte to her throne with the sword Lisara had sworn to protect the Princess with.”  
“Why?” His voice was shaking.  
Eddard tapped their nose again, “It wasn’t entirely Lisara’s fault. She was given false intel on the Princess, that the young Infernal was working alongside the Yozi to destroy all of Creation. Anyone with the power to do so would have done the sam in Lisara's place.”  
Cullen’s whole body was shaking, Israfel could feel the force of it, see the tears he was trying to blink away.  
A slight frown spread on Eddard’s face, “Remember what I told you Cullen, she has always tried her best, even if her methods were not ideal. And she has done much to try and redeem herself.” They pushed their glasses up and brushed their hair out of their face, “Meruvia is almost entirely build on her money. After it was bombed she spent billions reconstructing cities and supporting charities. She even donated to other countries to help with the fallout of it all.”  
“But still... so many people...” Cullen muttered.  
“I’m going to stop you there.” Eddard held a hand up and sighed, “Lisara has saved far more people that she’s killed. Creation would be gone if it weren’t for her, absorbed by the Infernal realm. She gave everything to protect Creation, she was so severely injured no one ever thought she would recover.”  
“Everyone says that awful time, and then you being born were what changed her.” A new voice joined the conversation.

"Evelyn..." Israfel whispered, guilt filling her as she looked at the pained expression on Evelyn's face. Not only had she injured her wife, but now she was part of a conversation dragging up the worst parts of Lisara. Evelyn was stood in the doorway, frowning. “No one gives Lisara the credit she’s due. She worked so hard to improve herself before then.”  
“You leaving her probably spurred a lot of change in her.” Eddard said as they chuckled.  
“Mum... you left Lisara?” Cullen was clearly as shocked as Israfel was on hearing this.  
The two women were so devoted to each other, so dependent on one another. The idea of them being parted was unfathomable.  
“Briefly. It all got a bit much one day, her self-loathing, her self destruction. I packed my bags and went to stay with Eddard.” Evelyn sat down next to Cullen and placed her head on his shoulder. “It’s why we were so upset with you these last two years. We know exactly how dark that path can get.”  
“Mum... I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be, both you and Lisara have light inside you now. We can’t forget the past, but we can all grow from it. Now,” she clapped her hands, “Lisara will be up and about in a few hours, let’s fix you up Israfel. You’ll need to be in top shape for tomorrow.”

Israfel smiled weakly, through the pain. Tomorrow... She must have passed her test.


	28. Chapter 28

Smiling at the small woman sat in his lap, Cullen tried to push aside his rising anxiety. The desire to scoop her up in his arms and run far away from this, keep Israfel from those who would harm her, raged inside of him. He sighed, knowing she wouldn’t go along with such a plan. For someone so sweet and kind, she was surprisingly determined to fight.

“What’s wrong?” A soft hand stroked his face and Israfel looked up to him, speaking softly.  
“Nothing.” He lied. Tomorrow could be the end of all this, the end of them, the end of his family. There was little comfort to be taken knowing Lisara was going to be there, he’d always wondered exactly how powerful she was, but now he got the answer it just made things worse. If anything happened to Evelyn not only would he lose his Mum, but Gods know what Lisara might do with him and Israfel stuck in the middle of it all.

Lisara had been unusually quiet tonight, he would have assumed that she was pissed off at Israfel for injuring her But the black eye and split lip Eddard wore told a different story. Curling up on chair behind Evelyn, it looked as if Lisara was trying to disappear from the room. Through the thick, black coils of his Mums hair, he could see Lisara glaring at him, her piercing green shining through Evelyn’s great mane. He was struggling to look at her, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions battering him about having found out what she truly was. Their relationship had always been tense, but he did love her, despite the fights, despite her unpredictable nature, despite his own failings. But now, trying to separate who she was from what she had done was difficult.

In his lap Israfel shifted, her soft body rubbing against him, furthering the desire to run away with her. It seemed she was completely oblivious to what she was doing to him, as she had turned herself to face Last Enemy. Intentional or not, it was a welcome distraction from darker thoughts. 

“So what’s the plan tomorrow? How do we get to the...” She tapped her nose, Cullen grinned seeing how quickly she had become a part of his family.  
“The Realm of the Neverborn.” He uncrossed his arms, “I’m glad at least one person actually cares, rather than airing each other’s dirty laundry” Last Enemy looked to Eddard who turned away sharply, “or just sulking.”  
“Fuck you.” A muted voice came from behind Evelyn.  
“Go fuck yourself Lisara. You’re being self centred enough that it should be pretty easy.”  
A stifled giggle escaped Sunchild.

Israfel pushed herself further into him, it seemed the tension was getting to much for her. It took all of Cullen’s mental fortitude not to moan aloud as he could feel each curve of her form pressed against him. She was almost too much for him. Since that first moment when he had first awoke to see her face, he knew he wanted her. Admittedly it took longer to realise how deep his want went, but he had always wanted her. Needed her. His anxiety started to rise again, his heart pounding in his ears; this might be the last time he held her like this. Cullen knew exactly how painful it would be to lose her. He couldn’t go through that again.

Her breath tickled his ear as she propped herself up to whisper to him, “Something is wrong with you. I can hear it in your song.”  
Cullen squeeze her and shook his head, he had try and be strong for her. Israfel had the right idea, getting the plans laid out was the only thing that could be done now to increase their chances of success. “Last Enemy, please continue.”  
The gaunt Exalt nodded, strands of silver hair falling loose from where they were tied back. “We need to get to a gate, like Yu-Shan. Abyssal’s are a corruption of Solar Exalts though, so there isn’t gate here on The Blessed Isle. The closest is in An-Teng, at Akuma’s Refuge.”  
“That’s where you nearly lost your eye Cullen.” Eddard had finally broken their silence.  
Lisara snorted, “He didn’t nearly lose it. That wound was barely a scratch.”  
“Stop bickering you two.” His Mum’s voice was quiet but firm, “It’s a good thing I am coming along, if only to babysit you.”  
“So we’re off to An-Teng... another plane.” Cullen could feel Israfel wilting at the prospect of another flight, they always made her so sick.  
Evelyn smiled at Israfel, “Don’t worry, I can give you something for travel sickness.”  
“So what can we expect then?” Cullen asked, stroking Israfel’s hair. Pleased he wouldn’t have to see her suffering for six hours.  
Last Enemy crossed his arms and frowned deeply, “Expect the worst. Even with my affinity with Abyssals, it’s not a welcoming place for those not in service to a Deathlord. It’s a place devoid of light, being alive there is an insult to the land itself.”  
“Not an ideal place for Celestial Exalts and someone born to from a star then.” Evelyn muttered.  
“We must keep our wits about us then.” Eddard said coolly as they stood up. “For now, I suggest we all rest, Gods know when we’ll next get the chance to.”  
Sunchild stood up too, smiling at Eddard.  
“They said rest Sunchild, calm down.” Last Enemy brought himself to his feet, and started heading out of the door.  
Eddard was blushing, but Sunchild just started giggling, leading the other Exalt out of the room.

“Shall we go to bed too?” Cullen asked, nuzzling into Israfel’s hair. He found himself desperate to taste her again, the way she had been wriggling in his lap feeding his hunger.  
“Not so fast you two. We need to talk.” Lisara had finally come out of her hiding spot.  
Cullen groaned, he was stressed enough as it was, tomorrow was weighing heavily on his mind. They hadn’t been given enough time, Israfel needed more training.  
“Lisara, I’m sorry,” Israfel’s voice was quiet, meek, “for whatever I did to you earlier. I didn’t mean too.”  
His mother blinked, clearly surprised. “You ruptured my essence reservoir. But don’t worry about it, that’s not what we need to discuss.”  
“I’m too old for a scolding Lisara.” Cullen said coolly. Considering what she'd done, she didn't really have a right to try and berate him.  
“As am I.” She replied coldly, “I have spent the last thirty years trying to atone for what I have done, trying to find a way to live with it. I just hope...” Her voice cracked like an old dial-up modem.

Cullen inhaled sharply, unsure what to make of the scene before him. It looked like Lisara was shrinking before his eyes, trying to retreat into herself. There were tears forming in his mothers eyes as Evelyn pulled her close. Many times he’d seen his Lisara in a rage, in a state of mania, there were even rare moments of tenderness they had shared, but never tears. Lisara never cried, not in front of him at least, though the lack of surprise from Evelyn told him this was moment those two had shared many times before.

“I just hope you can learn to live with it too Cullen.” She was holding back sobs as she spoke, “I never wanted you to know what a monster I am.”  
“Mum...” Evelyn looked up to him as he spoke, but he didn’t take his eyes off Lisara. His distrust and horror melting away seeing her genuine sorrow, “I don’t want you guys to judge me by the mistakes of my past. I have to give you that same respect.”  
Lisara laughed through her tears, “You’ve never called me that before. Very well son,” She wiped her eyes, “now there are no secrets between us, I hope we can be a real family now.”  
Israfel’s soft, melodic voice spoke out, “You guys were always a real family.”

Cullen could hear the hint of sadness behind her voice, hidden deep within the melody. With everything that had happened and the bright smiles she always gave him, he’d almost forgotten it had only just been over a month since she lost the last of her family too. She was forced to be so strong so quickly, given little time to grieve.

“You’re a part of this family now too Isu.” Evelyn said, smiling as she held Lisara close.  
“Whether you like it or not!” Lisara chuckled.  
He could feel her shaking against him, her face buried into his chest. Cullen could feel warm tears seeping through his shirt. “Lets get you to bed.”  
“No.” she whispered against him, before pushing herself off of him. Israfel pursed her lips together and bowed to his parents, “Thank you for everything Lisara, Evelyn.” Then she rushed out of the room.  
Cullen watched her go, frowning. Part of Israfel still seemed so frail. He prayed she would be strong enough for what they were about to face.  
“Go take care of her.” Lisara cooed, “She needs you.”

It was easy to follow Israfel’s scent. She had moved quickly through the corridors, knowing the layout of his home now, but that sweet, earthy smell of hers was easy to follow. The scent led him outside, his nose lost track of her, drowned out among the multitude of floral perfumes from the garden. Small, bare footprints were visible in the grass though, the blades bent and broken. The prints were deep, far apart, she had started running. Slowly he followed, knowing where the tracks led. To her garden, her shrine. Cullen hadn’t been there yet, it was her space where she went when she needed some quiet. He passed into the garden, through the low hanging willow branches and found her. She looked so small, kneeling on the damp floor, shoulders heaving with each sob.

Cullen walked towards her, plucking a pink chrysanthemum as he did. Kneeling down beside her, he presented the flower. “What’s wrong my love?” It seemed like a silly question to ask, finding her sat crying at her Father’s shrine, but so much was wrong right now, he had to ask.  
Israfel took the flower, she didn’t look at him as he spoke, staring at the pink petals instead, “He’s gone.”  
He tucked her hair behind her ear so he could see her face, “I know...”  
She shook her head, some strands of hair falling free from where he had just placed them, “No he’s really gone now. His soul is going on to be reincarnated.”  
“How...?” Cullen cocked his head. How could she know something like that?  
Her voice was so quiet and sad, “When Lisara knocked me out, Mum brought him to see me.”  
Placing a hand on her knee, Cullen remained quiet. There were no words to say.  
“It’s not fair... he looked so happy getting to be with Mum. But now they’re parted again.” A tear fell onto Cullen’s hand, “Why can’t he just stay with her?”  
“It’s just not how it works Israfel, but at least he got to see her again. And he got to see you.”  
“I got to say goodbye at last...” She looked to him at last, her face red and blotchy, “If I get reincarnated will you come and find me?”

His heart sank, she was afraid of tomorrow... of what might happen. Cullen wasn’t even sure what would happen to Israfel’s soul, she was part God. Death might not mean the same thing for her as it meant to him. But as he looked at her, her soft face, he knew that he would walk through any realm to find her. Nothing would keep them apart.

“It’s not going to come to that.” The trembling of his voice betrayed the confidence he was trying to portray.  
“You don’t know that.”  
“I don’t...” He said sadly. “Are you scared?”  
“Yeah...” She grabbed his hand, it was so small compared to his, so warm and soft. “You?”  
“I’m fucking terrified.” He couldn’t lie to her, he knew his voice would tell the truth. The way it cracked a he spoke. Cullen had never been more scared in his life.  
Her smile eased him a little, “We’ll get through this together.”  
“Promise me you’ll stay close to me.”  
“I promise. Tonight, tomorrow, forever, I’ll stay by your side.”

Gods he hoped she could keep that promise...

She led him inside, obediently he followed her, he would follow her anywhere. Their destination was his bedroom... their bedroom he corrected himself. She hadn’t slept in her room since they had come back from Yu-Shan. It was unspoken, but they had moved in together. Even her clothes had been moved in here, though from her surprised at the time, he suspected it was Sunchild’s doing. It would have been weird to thank her but he was very grateful. Speaking of clothes, his attention was drawn back to the present. Israfel was removing hers, there was no embarrassment from her anymore, even when she realised he was looking at her, she just smiled at him. Cullen admired her; she had put a little bit of weight back on, his Mother’s cooking was surely something to do with it. She suited it, being softer with powerful muscles hidden beneath the soft surface.

“You’re staring at me.”  
“Just enjoying the view.”  
“Let’s enjoy tonight.” There was sadness in her voice, unspoken words, as if she wanted to say that this could be their last.

He couldn’t bare to think of it like that. But still as he accepted her touches eagerly, as he touched her himself, marked her with his teeth, claimed her, it plagued the back of the mind. He savoured this moment, memorising every detail of her body and from the way she was studying him, he knew she felt the same way. It was a bitter sweet moment, such passion underlined with fear.

It felt like they had hardly had any time to actually sleep before there came a knock came at the door.

It was time to go.


	29. Chapter 29

From how tired everyone looked, it seemed like no one had slept well. At least they might be able to rest on the flight. She was praying that the tablets Evelyn had given her this morning would work so she could rest too. Israfel looked around, the group hardly looked like they were heading towards unknown danger. Cullen and Last Enemy were both wearing loose fitting workout gear and trainers, Sunchild was barefoot in cropped leggings and a fluffy jumper, Evelyn and Israfel were similarly dressed; long, loose dresses and boots, Eddard was in another elaborate kimono as usual. It was only Lisara who looked appropriately dressed in a military uniform. She had told everyone to dress comfortably. No one was carrying any gear beside Evelyn and her first aid pack, they all had weapons that they could summon with their essence, rations and provisions all stored in the trinket Luna had given Cullen.

“Everyone ready?” Lisara asked, voice devoid of any emotion.  
The all nodded in unison.  
“Let’s get going then.”  
“No rousing speech or words of encouragement Lisara?” Sunchild said grinning.  
Lisara tapped her nose, “Don’t die.”  
“Very encouraging.” Eddard said drawly.  
Last Enemy chuckled, “It’s good advice though.”  
Cullen leant down to her and whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear, “Are you ready to go?”  
She blushed, everyone was looking at her. Perhaps they expected her to back out at the last minute... a small part of her wanted to, but she was determined to see this through to the end. “I’m ready.”  
“Come then,” he took her hand, “let’s go.”

The flight wasn’t as bad as the previous ones. It was bad, but actually being somewhat rested and medicated made it bearable this time. She had even managed to sleep, resting forward onto Cullen’s back who sat at her feet. Once again the plane seats were too small for his massive frame. The idle chatter from the rest of the party and the rumbling of the plane lulling her into a deep slumber. Israfel felt like her eyes had only been closed for a moment before the plane lurched to a halt, though from how rejuvenated she felt, she knew it had been longer. The next leg of the journey started immediately, loaded into a military truck and carted along bumpy roads. Israfel gratefully took the medication Evelyn offered her, the uneven journey threatening to bring the nausea back. Conversation had slowed to a halt, the tension rising the closer they got to the gate. Each person seemed lost in their own head.

Finally, after eight hours of travelling by land and air, their journey came to an end. At least the easy part, across Creation. From now on it was uncharted territory for everyone bar Last Enemy, and he hadn’t painted the nicest picture of their destination. The truck pulled to a stop in the courtyard of a crumbling temple.

“Last chance to turn back anyone that wants to.” Last Enemy said as he jumped off of the transport first.  
No one spoke up.

Israfel was the second off of the transport followed closely by Cullen. As she moved away from the vehicle to make room for the others to dismount, there was a sickening crack underfoot. She looked down, her foot resting on the skeletal remains of a hand, the rest of the body laid not fair away, only partially claimed back by nature. Israfel paled looking at the decaying corpse, it was so petite The victim couldn’t have been more than a teenager before they were mutilated, their throat torn out.

“Poor thing... did the Abyssal do that?” She asked turning to Cullen.  
“That was the Abyssal Israfel.”  
“But,” she looked from him to the corpse and back, “they were just a child!”  
A heavy, cold, black arm fell around her shoulders, “Don’t let appearances deceive you, remember how age doesn’t effect our kind like other humans.” Lisara’s grin widened, “You even mistook me and Cullen for a couple.”  
Cullen turned bright red, “You’re joking right?”  
“Husband and wife at that.” She chuckled mechanically.  
Israfel groaned, hiding herself in Cullen’s arms.  
“If you’re all finished.” It was Last Enemy speaking, as he walked over the corpse, it squelching and cracking underfoot. Israfel’s stomach turned at the noise, at the disregard for it’s presence “I will open the gate.”  
“Let’s get this done.” Eddard said, nose turned up at the still giggling Lisara.

Israfel removed herself from her hiding spot and nodded to Last Enemy. The sooner this started, the sooner she could go home and finally relax. He nodded back to her and stopped in front of a crumbling wall. With his teeth, Last Enemy opened his wrist, black blood trickling out. He lowered his arm, the blood flowing downwards, covering his palm. The dark Exalt looked around the party once more, his eyes lingering on Israfel, she nodded to him again, he nodded back. Slapping his blood slick hand to the wall, the air around them all began to tremble and grew cold. The chill caught the breath in Israfels lungs, her blood freezing in her veins as black essence snaked out from Last Enemy’s hand, covering the wall until it was a sheet of darkness. The wall appeared as a void, absorbing all the light around it. Inky, black nothingness.

Without a word, Israfel watched Last Enemy step into the darkness, it rippled around him and then he was gone. She moved forward to follow, but Cullen’s tight grip on her arm stopped her.  
“Together?” His soft voice echoed through the clearing.  
She nodded, “Together.”

His rough hand slipped down her arm, taking her hand. She laced their fingers together and squeezed him tightly, needing to feel his presence as much as possible. In unison they walked up to the void, Cullen tried to stop but Israfel pulled him forward, scared that if she stopped she wouldn’t be able to carry on. Together, they stepped into the darkness. It enveloped them, cold and all consuming darkness. The polar opposite to the light that had consumed them when they went to Yu-Shan.

As she stepped out a wave of uneasiness hit her. Cullen’s song was suddenly muted, his complexion greyed. He must have felt it too: The oppression in the air, they way it pushed against her, raging against the life inside her. The air reeked of death, the landscape, broken, twisted, nightmarish. As the rest of the party joined them, the Alchemicals seemed unfazed by the atmosphere, their artificial bodies seemed not to offend this realm that detested life. Eddard snorted in disgust. It was Evelyn who was hit the hardest, she fell to her knees, gasping, her caste mark burning bright on her forehead. Israfel remembered how Last Enemy had explained Abyssals were a corruption of Solar Exalts. That must be why the oppression was hitting her the hardest.

Lisara squatted down next to her, “You still have time to go back.”  
“No,” Evelyn grabbed her wife’s arm, “I’m staying with you.”  
“Where do we go from here?” The air tasted sour on Israfel’s tongue as she spoke.  
Last Enemy pointed out across the horizon, “The Unliving Palace is that way. They already know we’re here, so be ready for a fight.”

Israfel looked to the horizon, the landscaped twisted and squirmed. Dead trees, pools of black ichor and humungous skeletons littered the land as far at the eye could see. Everything completely devoid of life. The path they needed to take, along the spine of a great skeletal dragon, was already blocked. Abyssal beasts, more twisted than the ones that had attacked her home rose from the dark depths of the lakes of ichor. Every inch of their bodies covered in grotesque mockeries of human features: bloodied slits opening up to reveal mouths lined with needle-like teeth or blood shot eyes, rolling about until they focused on the group.

Lisara took the initiative, leaping forward. In less than a heartbeat two of the beast were cleaved in two by her oversized sword. The bodies writhed on the floor, translucent worms wiggling free from the corpses, fleeing back to the pools. The other Exalts rushed forward to join Lisara. Israfel found herself holding back, the memories of the first time she had seen these beast threatening to crush her. She hadn’t even noticed Evelyn had faltered too, until the Solar’s hand touched her arm. Evelyn looked unnaturally pale, shaking as she held a golden pistol in her other hand.

“They’re all something else, aren’t they?” Evelyn said as she watched the fray.

Israfel just watched, trembling. Sunchild was leaping about the battlefield, skewering the beasts with her golden lance each time she landed. Lisara was flickering in and out of sight leaving a trail of bodies in her wake. One of the beasts closed it’s jaws around her metal arm, she sneered at it and the thing erupted into green flames. Last Enemy had a gleeful look on his face as he danced about the creatures, ripping them apart piece by piece with his bare hands. Above the battle field was Eddard, suspended in mid-air, throwing razor sharp disks of purple essence, each one meeting their target as they manipulated reality to ensure the beasts were wherever their charm would land. With a bloodcurdling roar, one creature broke free from the battle field and bounded towards them. Evelyn raised her gun and fired. The bullet left a trail of golden essence behind it as it hit it’s mark. The beast exploding in a fountain of gold and worms, the empty husk skidding to a halt a few feet from them.

Her eyes scoured the melee for Cullen. He was drenched in black ichor, his fur already matted, his muzzle dripping. She hadn’t even noticed him transforming, he was able to do it so quickly these days... Israfel gasped, as he was tearing the throat out of a foe, one of the beasts stuck up on him, knocking him to the ground. It pinned him down, snapping at him with multiple mouths as he struggled, all his effort spent on trying to hold the beast far enough away that it couldn’t bite down on him. Without thinking, without hesitation Israfel ran forward, through the ever thinning number of creatures, towards Cullen. As she ran the beasts parted, clearing the way for her. She focused on the one attacking Cullen, she had never used her essence with one of her allies so close to her target, but she had to try and save him. A trickle of blood ran from her nose as she clicked her fingers, the beast falling limp on top of Cullen as it vomited writhing worms upon him.

Cullen pushed the empty corpse aside and clambered to his feet. He spoke in a breathy voice, “Thanks.” Before leaping onto the next assailant.

The area was alight with gold, silver, green and purple essence as the number of the beasts thinned even more. In the middle of it stood Israfel, the creatures giving her a wide berth. Still, she helped reduce their ranks even more. She didn’t need them to get close to use her power. In fact it made it easier, not having those terrible mouths snapping at her gave her time to focus. She clicked her fingers until they ached, until blood ran down her neck, staining her dress. 

Finally the onslaught stopped, the few remaining creatures retreating back into the pools where they had come from. The sudden stillness a stark contrast to the chaos that had been happening only moments ago. Panic filled her as she looked across the destruction, Cullen had fallen to his knees, vomiting up black ooze. Israfel ran to him, as did everyone else, she was the first to reach him. Dropping to her knees, not caring about the filth or gore she landed in, Israfel placed a hand on his shoulder as the others crowded around him.

“Cullen! Are you okay?” Her voice quivering.  
He nodded, then heaved once more, but nothing came, “Yeah...” His voice hoarse as he spoke, “they just taste fucking gross.”  
Israfel laughed, “What do you expect when you bite things to death?”  
“I’ve only killed living things before. Blood tastes way better.” He grinned at her, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her close, his long tongue licking the blood from her face. “Especially yours.”  
With the blood gone, her blush was evident. Israfel could feel the heat from it.  
“Gods Lisara,” Last Enemy said with a snicker, “I didn’t think you could raise someone more perverted than yourself.”  
Lisara held her hands up, “I swear this is nothing to do with me.”  
Eddard pulled Cullen to his feet, Israfel was pulled up as Sunchild followed suit.  
“We shouldn’t dally here. We don’t have time to waste if more of those creatures should form.” Eddard said unimpressed.  
Cullen took hold of her arm, ”You’re not hurt, are you?”  
“No,” she shook her head, “it was like they were avoiding me.”  
“Probably not wanting to hurt their Master’s prize.” Last Enemy said apathetically.  
She felt Cullen’s fur bristle at the comment. Her own hair stood on end at the grim reminder of the outcome, should they fail.  
“Let’s get moving.” She said trying to sound as forceful as she could.  
“That’s that attitude Isu.” Sunchild slapped her one the back playfully.

Once again Last Enemy took the lead, guiding them up and over the spinal path. The surface was uneven and her shoes were slick with gore, Israfel clung onto Cullen’s arm, not wanting to think about what would happen should she fall into one of those pools below. Even when her feet touched solid ground again, her fears weren’t relieved. She now found herself on the precipice of a thick dark forest. Despite the eerie stillness to the dead trees, she could hear a haunting song of essence coming from deep within the copse.

“Something is waiting for us in there.” She felt curious stares upon her from her companions, “I can hear their essence.”  
Lisara stepped into the brush, “It doesn’t matter, if this is the quickest route, we’re taking it.”

Israfel followed, what little light was in the sky, now blotted out by the net of overhanging, dead branches.


	30. Chapter 30

The closeness of the trees made traveling through the dead forest a claustrophobic experience. Beside her Cullen was constantly stooped over to keep his head out of the overhanging branches. She held onto his hand tightly, barely able to see where she was going in the darkness. Cullen’s eyes were glowing yellow as he effortlessly transverse the forest, guiding her over the rough terrain. Ahead of them she could make out the silhouette of Lisara glowing faintly green assisting Evelyn along. Behind her Last Enemy was leading the remaining two Exalts.

“Good thing you stayed in that form.” Israfel said quietly, as Cullen’s soft fur warmed her hand.  
“It’s a waste of essence to keep changing back and forth.” He squeezed her hand, “You don’t mind do you?”  
“No, your fur’s nice and warm.” She grabbed onto his arm, pulling herself close to him.  
“If we have to stop for the night, you should change back.” Evelyn stated, “It’s not good for you to stay like that, you don’t want to get stuck.”  
“Will we be here that long?” Asked Sunchild.  
“Perhaps,” replied Last Enemy, “I’ve never entered from that gate before so I don’t know the exact distance.”  
“How do you know the way then?” Israfel asked, curious to know how an Alchemical knew so much of the Abyssal realm.  
Last Enemy chuckled, “Mr Smith longs to return to his Master, I’m following his lead.”  
“Mr Smith?”  
“Like Lisara my Exaltation is tainted by an Exalt I killed, an Abbysal.”  
It was Lisara’s turn to laugh, “Gods what a pain in our ass he was. He’s the reason we’re banned from Yu-Shan.”  
“What a great fight that was though!” Exclaimed Sunchild joyously.  
“How come you’re still allowed in Yu-Shan when the rest of us aren’t?” Lisara asked almost bitterly.  
“I called in a special favour with The Unconquered Sun. We go way back.”  
Israfel laughed, enjoying the nostalgia that the Alchemicals were sharing. “You go way back with a God?”  
“Yeppers,” She said proudly, “I was a Solar in the Golden Age after all.”

The jovial conversation had drowned out the thrum of essence that resonated through the forest. Israfel had almost forgotten where she was. It wasn’t until they entered a clearing that the forest’s song burst to life in her head. In the centre of the clearing was the largest tree Israfel had ever seen. She froze, it was almost deafening.

“Israfel?”  
The group paused around her as she couldn’t move.  
“Something is here.”  
Lisara’s eyes flashed purple as she surveyed the clearing. “She’s right, but it’s well hidden, there’s essence everywhere.”  
“Shall we go around?” Evelyn queried.  
Behind them the forest groaned, Cullen turned to look at it. “I don’t think that’s an option now.”

Israfel turned to where Cullen was looking, the forest was shifting, closing in around them to form an impassable wall of trees. The forest continued to groan as branches intertwined, fortifying the wall. A rumbling from the centre of the clearing drew Israfel’s attention, the song of essence hitting a terrifying crescendo. The huge tree was swaying violently, it’s root ripping out of the ground as if it were a sapling caught in a storm. The roots extended throughout most of the clearing, almost to where they were standing. One of the roots raised high into the air then wiped towards them. Israfel clapped her hands together, the clap echoing above them, bouncing the root away harmlessly. Lisara leapt into the air, cleaving the root from the tree, it withered and turned to ash in the air, raining down of them. The tree somehow turned to them, Israfel could see a black heart beating among the branches.

“You two, attack from afar, cover us.” Last Enemy pointed to Evelyn and Eddard, “Israfel, stay close to them and keep those roots away.”

She nodded to him, summoning her dagger to hand to ease the channelling of her essence. Cullen squeezed her hand once more before jumping impossibly high into the air, running across the flailing roots to join Lisara. Israfel hung back, as directed, protecting Evelyn and Eddard from the vicious onslaught, giving them the opportunity to take out the closer roots, in turn clearing the way for the others to get closer. Cullen pushed forward hardest, making a beeline for the heart tree. Everyone else providing a suitable distraction. Israfel turned her attention back to her current charge, she clicked her fingers again, deflecting another root. She started to feel dizzy, blood freely running down her face, her essence running low. Remembering her last meditation session with Sunchild, Israfel started to draw from the world around her. The essence felt putrid inside of her, the blue whorls of her essence darkened in response to the taint. Still, she pushed through it and continued drawing.

A nauseating crack rang through the grove as a stray root crashed into Sunchild. She fell to the ground limply as the remaining roots all aimed at her with sharp points. Lisara leapt in front of her fallen comrade, using her girth of her sword as a shield to repel the attack. Everyone except Cullen turned their attention to finishing off the weaponised roots. Israfel spent the remainder of the putrid essence inside of her to splinted the rotting wood, sundering roots a part. Cullen disappeared, scrabbling inside of the knot of branches that closed around him. The tree roared in protest before shuddering to a halt. Israfel collapsed to her knees, her vision going blurry as the putrid essence overwhelmed her.

~~~

Cullen clambered out of the pile of ash and bone he found himself under. The moment he had torn the heart open, the wood had disintegrated exposing the skeletal remains of a giant. Now, stood in the clearing, he surveyed the scene before him. Evelyn was running across the field, he followed her trajectory with his eyes. On the floor laid Sunchild, Eddard cradling her head as she was almost cleaved in two, Lisara holding her hand. Last Enemy was stood away, smoking casually. Cullen frowned, looking around. The entire treeline was falling apart, each tree crumbling to reveal a human skeleton, a forest of corpses. He didn’t care about that though. His eye scoured the clearing for Israfel, finding her on her hands and knees. Her chest was heaving. Sprinting across the field, Cullen skidded to a halt next to her.

“Sun...” Israfel said through panted breaths.  
“Mum will do what she can.” Cullen shook his head in disbelief, she was clearly suffering, yet she was still more concerned for her friend. “What happened to you?”  
She sat back, the marks of essence on her body had turned black. He hissed at the sight, the blue markings had become such a familiar sight, seeing them blackened against her skin was unsettling.  
“The essence here...” She gasped, “I drew on it... It’s so rotten...”  
“Cullen! Over here, now!” Lisara yelled at him from across the clearing.  
He picked Israfel up and bounded across to everyone else. Sunchild’s wounds weren’t healing, all of Evelyn’s essence was being dedicated just to keeping her alive. Israfel sobbed as she saw the scene.  
Putting her down he grabbed her face, “Don’t look.”  
“We need the repair kit Cullen!” Evelyn’s voice quivering as she spoke.

Removing his ring and opening it wide, Cullen rammed his hand into the void, picturing the toolkit his Mum had asked him to store away. It came to his hand and he quickly pulled it out, mindful of what Luna had said about lingering too long. Lisara snatched it from his hand, opening it to pull out a glistening sheet of orichalcum.

Lisara looked at him, “Lift her clothes out of the way and try to hold the wound together.”

He nodded, quickly pulling her legging out of the way, lifting her jumper aside and holding Sunchild’s torso as directed. Lisara held the metal up, green fire burst forth from her hand, heating it until it was white hot. The heat from it singed his fur as Lisara pressed the sheet over the wound. Sunchild bucked underneath his hands, screaming, he held her down, letting Lisara melt the metal over the wound.

“Will she be ok?” Eddard’s voice full of genuine concern.  
Evelyn continued to pour her essence into Sunchild after Lisara and Cullen let her go, “She won’t be really ok until I get her back and do some proper repairs, but this will do for now.”  
“I’m not taking her back.” Last Enemy stamped out his cigarette, “She’s clearly let herself get soft.”  
Cullen blanked out the ensuing argument between Lisara and Last Enemy, his focus shifting back to Israfel. She had been watching it all, tears staining her face. “Everything’s gonna be fine Isu. Let’s sort you out.” He picked her up, carrying her away to somewhere more quiet. “I told you not to watch.”  
Her voice sounded so faint, “I’ve treated wounds like that before...”  
He hated whatever the essence here had done to Israfel. Her bright hues now dulled, her movements sluggish and laboured. “Not on your friend though. You didn’t need to see that. Gods I wish I hadn’t.”  
“We shouldn’t have come here...” She whispered as she grabbed his fur tightly.  
Cullen pulled her closer, desperately trying to think of a way to help her, “You’re only saying that because you feel like shit. Why don’t you try pulling on my essence like you did before?”  
“No, yours is too low.”

His heart sank, but he knew it was true, he had barely anything left to offer her. Two battles in such quick succession had proved more than enough for both of them. Looking around for some kind of guidance, his saw Evelyn fall to the floor exhausted, Lisara putting her wife’s head in her lap so she could rest comfortably. Lisara herself quickly dropping into a state of meditation. The other’s were all doing the same.

“Let’s rest then, I’ll keep you warm.”  
Her weak smile soothed him a little, it was a good sign.  
“You’re so snuggly like this.”

Cullen had to laugh, snuggly had never been a word used to describe him. Though he’d never before kept someone this close to him when he was like this. He laid down, Israfel laid on his chest and he embraced her. She quickly fell asleep and he followed not long after, safe in the knowledge that Lisara would be alert even while meditating.

~~~

The feeling of being crushed into Cullen’s chest brought Israfel out of her sleep. He was looking down at her, smiling warmly, his face and body human once more.

“Morning handsome.” She smiled at him as brightly as she could despite how groggy she felt.  
“Morning.” His voice rumbled through her as she laid on his chest, “You feeling better?”  
She nodded. The sleep had recharged her own essence, pushing away the horrible sick feeling the essence here had left her with.  
“Good.” His embrace relaxed, “I’m sorry to wake you but everyone is getting ready to leave.”  
She tensed, remembering what had happened yesterday, “Sunchild!” Israfel pushed herself off of Cullen’s chest, panic filling her as she jumped to her feet.

Her panic was somewhat relieved as her eyes found her injured friend. Sunchild was being helped to her feet by Eddard. Her movements were slow and pained, holding her abdomen with one hand as she moved. Her face grimacing as she stood to her feet. Israfel ran to her, as fast as her feet could carry her. Guilt plaguing her, if it weren’t for her, Sunchild wouldn’t have gotten hurt, no one would even be here if it wasn’t for Israfel.

“Sun, are you ok?” Her voice breathy from running.  
Her friend smiled weakly at her, “Yeah, thanks to Lisara’s meatball surgery.”  
“You need to be need to be more cautious.” Eddard still hadn’t let go of her despite Sunchild being stood up now. “Stay close to me from now on.”

Israfel smiled knowingly at Sunchild. She got the distinct impression things had moved past a it of fun from the affection the usually reserved Eddard was demonstrating. Sunchild winked at her, confirming her suspicions.

“I just hope I don’t slow you all down too much now.”  
Lisara appeared beside them all, “We’ll be going slow for a while anyway. Evelyn isn’t fully recovered yet.”  
“Let’s hope we don’t run into any Abyssals then.” Cullen said joining them.  
Last Enemy stepped forward, “We definitely will, though I imagine the few that remain here will be kept close to their Master.”  
“That give’s us more time for Sunchild and Evelyn to recover then.” Israfel said.  
“And more time for the rest of us to get fucked up.” Last Enemy said coldly.  
“There’s also the issue of fighting a Deathlord and his knights at the same time.” Lisara tapped her nose as she spoke.  
“We can’t do anything about that.” Last Enemy turned away, “It’s time to move.”  
Cullen crouched down, opening up his pocket realm, “We need to eat first, not all of us can run only off of our essence.”  
“Eat on the move then. We’ve already wasted enough time.”

Pulling out a handful of protein bars, Cullen offered them out. Everyone who wasn’t an Alchemical took one, eating as they walked. Sunchild leant heavily on Eddard, limping as she walked. Lisara carried Evelyn, giving her a chance to continue to recover her essence. Hand in hand Israfel walked forward with Cullen, nervous about what further dangers might lie ahead.


	31. Chapter 31

Beneath her feet the land started to squelch. Israfel look down to her feet and instantly regretted her decision. The entire land was a mass of writhing tentacles beneath her feet. Squirming with each step, noxious fumes spewing out when the tentacles split under the weight of her heavier companions. Cullen’s face was almost green, his breathing slow and deliberate.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, squeezing his hand.

He shook his head, eyes widening at the movement. Cullen clamped a hand over his mouth, but that didn’t seem to help. Distressed all Israfel could do was watch as he pulled away from her, distancing himself from everyone to retch up the meagre breakfast he had eaten earlier. Panic clearly written on her face, Israfel tried to move to Cullen but Lisara’s strong grip stopped her.

“You shouldn’t move to far from us.”  
“But Cullen!”  
“He’s fine,” Lisara’s voice was full of warmth, “his nose is just very sensitive and it smells pretty horrendous around here.”

As if on queue, Cullen righted himself and smiled at her, looking slightly less green. Israfel watched as Cullen tried to make his way back to the group, but stumbled clumsily. She would have laughed at seeing the usually sturdy Cullen lose his footing, but something about the way his face dropped made her uneasy. She realised too late what Cullen himself had noticed. Around his leg, one of the tentacles had risen up, coiling itself to bind him. Then another around his other leg. Cullen looked up at her helplessly, then he was gone, pulled below the surface. With strength that she didn’t even know she had, Israfel broke free from Lisara’s grasp. Instinct took over as she tore her way through the mass of tentacles that had closed around where Cullen once stood.

She managed to squeeze her way inside, the writhing around her drowning out the shouts of panic and protest from her companions. Israfel found herself consumed by the landscape, everything went dark and she was pulled deeper and deeper inside. All sense of direction was gone as Israfel tried to swim her way through the unliving filth. she could hear Cullen though, his song booming through her head. His orchestra grew louder and Israfel knew she was heading the right way. Her lungs began to burn with the effort, it was like swimming through tar, thick, sticky and disgusting. But then her fingers met with a new surface in the darkness, something beside the slippery, squirming surfaces that she had been forcing her way through. It was rough, warm skin. She grabbed onto it, relieved to feel thick fingers curling around her wrist. There wasn’t any time to rejoice though, she knew, there was still the issue of how both of them were to get out of this mess.

It was nothing more than a hum to start with, almost indistinguishable from the hum of what was writhing around her, but the intensity of it increased. It was familiar, a sound that once scared her a little but now she was grateful for it’s tones ringing through her mind. Israfel pulled at Cullen, praying he understood her as she tried to guide him along, fearful he might panic and pull her back. He understood. Together, led by Israfel they swam towards the direction of the hum. Her chest felt like it was on fire, her limbs screamed in protest but she kept going until finally she felt the cool air caress her fingers. Another hand found her own, pulling her out, more hands joining the first and she was dragged upwards. The putrid air now seemed sweet and fresh compared to the noxious gasses she had to inhale beneath the surface. Her head broke free and she gasped for air, her chest felt so tight.

It was Lisara and Last Enemy that pulled her and Cullen free, she could make out the others in the distance, on what appeared to be safer looking ground. Israfel was slung over Lisara’s should as she began sprinting, Israfel could see Cullen bounding alongside her. Once she was lowered down, Israfel had never been more relieved to feel solid ground beneath her feet. Even the look of fury on Last Enemy’s face as he marched towards her couldn’t bring her down right now. She’d done it, she had saved Cullen, they were safe.

“Don’t you dare be so fucking reckless again!” Last Enemy snarled in her face, “We’re here to protect you! If you do something that stupid again I will kill you myself!”

How dare she? She hadn’t spent the her last few weeks training almost non-stop to be coddled while she was here. The words ‘go fuck yourself’ tried to form on her lips, but the tightness in her chest became crushing, her throat burned. Involuntarily Israfel coughed, flecks of red landing on Last Enemy’s face. The world around her span as Israfel found herself falling backwards, crashing into the floor. Panic hit her as she coughed and coughed but nothing relived the tightness, she couldn’t breathe. Her throat was starting to close up and her stomach cramped. A sense of doom washed over her and she flailed about... She couldn’t breathe! She clawed at her throat desperately. Strong arms pinned her flailing arms down, holding her hands fingers interlacing together. Cullen’s face appeared above her, he was knelt at her head, smiling at her, though his eyes betrayed the calmness his face was portraying.

“Israfel calm down. Everything’s going to be fine.” He turned away, “Right Mum.”  
Israfel tried to calm down, but her body was rebelling against her. She knew if she kept thrashing about she would be wasting what precious little oxygen she had left but it was so hard to make her body listen.  
“Right.” Evelyn knelt beside her. There was none of the comforting feeling of the Solar’s golden essence though, just a sharp stabbing pain as Evelyn’s fist thumped against her thigh. The relief was almost immediate. Israfel gasped for air, it was difficult and it still hurt, but she felt oxygen start to rush through her again. Voices continued around her as she drank in the sweet air. Cullen pulled her into a seated position, helping her lungs with their expansion, as he buried his face into her hair, wetting it with hidden tears.  
“You’re okay now.” He whispered.  
She wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but she couldn’t answer just yet.  
“What was that Evelyn?” The familiar lilt of Sunchild’s voice rung through the air.  
“An epipen.” The reply was matter-of-fact.  
“You couldn’t have just used your essence?”  
“We need to be more conservative. It looked like an allergic reaction, so the most logical thing is to treat it was one.”  
Cullen’s deep voice rumbled through her soothingly, “Why have you even got one of them? I mean it did come in handy... but it’s kinda specific.”  
Eddard coughed uncomfortably, “It’s for me. I’m allergic to rodents.”  
Under her breath Sunchild muttered, “Well shit...”  
“Can you breathe now?” Lisara asked squatting down next to her.  
Israfel nodded then managed a weak reply, “Yes.”  
“I’m gonna carry you for a bit. Let you get your breath back.” Cullen said softly as he got to his feet, lifting her up with him.  
“Thanks.”  
“Don’t thank me,” the gentle cadence of his voice breathing life into her where her tired lungs struggled, “I should be thanking you.” There was a pensive pause, like he was holding back, “You saved me.”  
“You would have done the same for me.” Talking was starting to become easier.  
His laugh vibrated through her, “I know. I just keep forgetting how strong you are now.”

They had been walking up hill as they continued to talk, Cullen carrying her up it with effortless ease. She treasured being in his arms, memorising every detail about their contact. The warmth of his skin, the size of his hands compared to her, how his chest almost growled with each breath he took. Her eyes traced over his strong features, still in awe of how handsome he was. A disgruntled rumbling interrupted the gentle growl of his breaths and Israfel followed his eyes to the source of his displeasure. Over the crest of the hill was what Israfel assumed was their destination. A huge fortress stood before them, the walls were jet black and jagged as if it were trying to pierce the very world around it. Towers loomed up high into the sky, first obscured by clouds, then as her eyes tracked higher, obscured by darkness. There was an unnatural stillness around the fortress; not a soul to be seen, no defences, nothing.

“There it is. The Unliving Palace.” Last Enemy uttered with disgust.  
Lisara’s eyes flashed purple, scanning the landscape for essence. “It looks undefended.”  
“He’s given up all pretences. No more games.”  
Cullen put Israfel down, she missed his warmth but was pleased to stand on her own two feet again. “How many Abyssals will there be?”  
Crossing his arms, Last Enemy frowned at the horizon. “More than I would like, less than he would though. Many are already dead from the collective effort of Creation, many will be too far from the gates to make it back in time.”  
“How do we stop him?” Israfel asked trying to sound braver than she felt.  
His frown deepening, Last Enemy sighed. “I don’t know...”  
Israfel cocked her head to the side, “But haven’t you stopped him before.”  
Putting a protective arm around her wife’s shoulder, Lisara’s voice was reserved, modulated. “We just killed enough of his Abyssals to make him need to back off and regroup. We need a more permanent solution this time.”  
It was Sunchild who spoke next, still leaning heavily on Eddard for support, “Sadly there is no permanent solution.”  
Protective arms wrapped around her, pulling her into warmth once again. “Then why are we even here?” Cullen asked curtly.  
The answer was given to Israfel though, Sunchild looking at her with a hint of sadness in her eyes. “You can’t just kill Gods. Much like your mother, it’s their vessel that dies, it takes time to form another.”  
“So we stop him for a few hundred years, then have to do this all over again?” Evelyn pushed up her glasses and sighed. Israfel noticed the caste mark on her forehead shining brightly, relieved that the groups actual healer (and not her backwater herb mixtures) was re-energised.  
But the statement confused her, surely they would all be gone by that point. “A few hundred years? But none of us will be around then...” She saw the way people were looking at her, bemused, “will we...?”  
“I have the potential to live that long...” Cullen said, his voice sounded troubled, “Surely you do to what with being half God?”  
There it was, that uncertainty in his voice, he could still be so fearful. She didn’t want to let her ego get too big, but Israfel wondered if it was to do with the idea of him living without her that was bothering him.  
“Don’t worry, she will.” Sunchild said brightly, “I know a few people with similar situations as Isu. Some are so old they don’t even remember their age anymore!”  
“Think you can put up with our son for two hundred years?” Lisara said teasingly.  
This was a lot to take in, Israfel looked to the floor and frowned. She could feel the tension rising between everyone, feel their nervous glances, even Cullen bristled against her. She assumed her was afraid of what her answer would be, the time for an enthusiastic response has passed.  
Her voice trembled as she formed a reply, all the anxiety she had buried threatening to burst out of her. “I haven’t been thinking about the future... It’s too much to bare.” She turned round to take Cullen’s hands but couldn’t bring herself to look at him, “What if I make all these plans and then I have no one to share them with... or I don’t make it home...”  
“Good thing I’ve made plans then.” Cullen’s voice still sounded so fearful, but there was a sense of determination behind it. She looked up at him, surprised that he could even stand to think of sharing such an uncertain future with someone after what he had been through. “We’ll find somewhere quiet for you, I’ll get another dog, nights curled up in front of a fire together... I remember you promising to sing for me whenever I want, I’m gonna hold you to that.”  
“Cullen...” She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Everything he wanted was so simple, so beautiful... yet it could all be undone in the next few hours.  
He laughed for her, “Admittedly we might need something more to keep us occupied if we have hundreds of years... but I’m sure we can figure something out." His voice was mischievous, she could only begin to imagine what he would want to do to occupy his time...

Israfel gripped his hand tighter, starting to lead him down the hill. Confidently she strode forwards leading him and the others onwards. It was hard not to feel confident with such a sweet future ahead of her. Determination filled her as she repeatedly told herself she had to make it. Down the hill and across the lifeless plains Israfel took the lead, heading towards the fortress where everything would end. One way or another.


	32. Chapter 32

Cullen’s muscles rippled as Israfel watched in awe. With an almighty grunt he threw himself against that gates as tall as a house. They creaked and groaned, debris falling down, littering Cullen’s shoulders. A sliver of purple light shone across Israfel’s face as the gate slowly opened. Further and further the gate opened, giving way under Cullen’s strength. But the gate way heavy, once it was open enough for them all to fit through, Last Enemy led them inside, Cullen’s feet beginning to slip on the polished surface. As soon as everyone was clear, Cullen leapt aside, landing himself next to Israfel with a grin, sweat beading his brow. With a deafening crash the gate slammed shut behind them and Israfel managed to peel her eyes off of Cullen to take in her surroundings.

The Unliving palace was a single barren room, devoid of any furnishings or luxury Israfel expectd from a palace. Eight black pillars lined the only lit area of the room, a wide walk way leading to a throne of bones. The throne sat empty beside a plain white mask the hung in the air over it. From above, the mask was drawing in a stream of black essence, drinking it in. Israfel’s eyes followed the stream up, she couldn’t see to the heights of fortress, it was obscured by a miasma of black essence, crackling with purple lightning. Her eyes continued to follow the sharp lines of the fortress, down the pillars before her. At the base of each pillar stood a figure, an Abyssal she could tell from the violent songs all joining together to create a terrifying symphony. It threatened to overwhelm her, but she centred herself, focusing on Cullen’s song, not needing to touch him now to use it as a focal point. Turning her attention to the Exalts before her, Israfel studied then, trying to gleam whatever information she could before the coming battle. Some of them wielded weapons, some she got the distinct impression didn’t need to. A few dressed in modern clothing, black and gothic, one was dressed in simple robes, another in an elaborate black and grey kimono. The rest wore armour that would have been comical in another setting, gaudy, decorated with bones, making massive frames look even bigger.

“You have surprised me Smith.” A disembodied voice echoed through the hall, “I did not expect you to have the capacity to bring her to me.”  
Last Enemy stepped forward but Israfel stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “No one brought me here. I came here of my own free will to end this.”  
A chuckled rumbled though the Abyssals.  
“Does this child really think there’s going to be any other outcome beside the eventual end of everything?” An Abyssal, almost the same size of Cullen levelled a sword towards her. “Creation and all the realms will be destroyed because of your arrogance.”  
“Fuck this.” Last Enemy sprang forwards, knocking the sword aside. Black essence flared as the melee began. 

Quickly, green, silver, gold and purple joined in as the fray began. A clash of great and terrible powers. Israfel moved forward too, her blue essence shining like a beacon in the dimly lit room. The light revealed more Abyssals that had been hiding in the darkness. Israfel’s breath froze, a foe each with one to spare had been daunting enough but now it looked like it was two to one. Around her was the terrible roars of battle, weapons clashing, shouts and grunting, someone was chanting in a tongue that chilled Israfel to the core. Once again the battle was avoiding her, every time she moved to engage someone they slinked back into the shadows, or joined in an assault on one of her friends. She felt so small and useless, her friends were fighting for her while she stood by and did nothing.

Near her was Cullen, his transformation pushed further than normal, less like a man baring signs of a wolven aspect, more lycanthropic. He was engaged with two Exalts, ones punches bounced harmlessly off his thickened hide as the other attacked from a distance, trying to pierce him with a spear. Israfel channelled her essence outwards, her dagger coming to hand as she snapped her fingers. What would have been a devastating stab at Cullen bounced away with a clang, giving him the chance to lunge forward, tearing the throat out of the fist fighter. Satisfied Cullen could easily manage one on one combat, Israfel’s eyes scoured that battlefield. She searched for any other aid she could give as no one would engage her. She found Lisara and Evelyn, the two women fought closely alongside each other, dancing around one another as if they knew the others movements before it happened. After thirty-seven years together, they probably did... a few weeks with Cullen and she was already reading the subtle hints of his body, she wondered how they would work together after being alongside each other for that long. But now was not the time to be distracted, Lisara and Evelyn were fine. Next she found Last Enemy, his bloodlust was unmatched among all the fighters; there was no necessity in movements, only the joy of battle. He was laughing as he beat the mountainous man that squared up to her before, beating the Exalt with his own torn off arm.

The chanting in the room intensified. Israfel found the cause. The robes figure swayed their arms about, obsidian daggers crystallising in the air before them. Too late Israfel realised the target... Sunchild was distracted, her movements lacking their usual grace as she battled, he golden essence beating back the darkness. Israfel cried out. Made to run towards her struggling friend before the daggers would end her, but she knew she wouldn’t make it. It deflect that many targets she needed to be head on, but the distance between her and Sunchild was too great. Suddenly Israfel felt her body ripped from existence, purple essence consuming her. The essence was familiar, she had once swam in a sea of it trying to find her answers. Then in a split second she was next to Sunchild. Clapping her hands together, the daggers that flew towards them bounced back harmlessly. The air flashed purple, one of Eddard’s essence rings taking advantage of the sorcerers shock over their failed attack, cleaving them in two.

“Thanks Isu!” Sunchild said beaming as she caught an arrow that flew over Israfel’s shoulder towards Sunchild’s face.  
Eddard floated down and landed next to them and waved their staff, a volley of arrows bending around them. “I’ll take care of Sun. Press forward.”

Nodding, Israfel looked around, trying to figure out exactly what her role in this all was. No one would fight her... Her eyes were draw to the mask suspended above the throne. Was that The Mask of Winters? A literal mask was the thing that had been causing all this havoc... No, not just a mask. Her eyes were drawn up to the storm of essence raging about them. It sounded like nothing she’d ever heard before, a low thumping, threatening, building up and up. Her stomach turned, they were managing with what was being thrown at them so far, but this was a God.

A pained yelp got her attention. She swung around and gasped. A huge, almost round shaped, Abyssal was standing on Cullen’s tail laughing as the Lunar scrabbled about on the floor, dodging a flurry of blows from the tall one wielding a spear all while being pinned down by his tail. Israfel snarled, her essence flaring. How dare they toy with him like that! A familiar sickening feeling rose up in her, she felt this before with Astra. Such hate and rage towards anyone who would hurt those she loved. The round one turned to her, cocking his head as blood ran from his ears. Screaming in fury, Israfel ran towards him, channelling her essence, building it up and up until she could feel it about to burst. As her body crashed into the fleshy abdomen of her target she let her essence burst forth with a roar, the sound wave knocking everyone nearby off their feet. Israfel clung onto her foe, tumbling to the floor with him. Landing astride his chest Israfel didn’t waste a breath, stabbing downwards again and again with her dagger, hating the man that had mocked Cullen. He held up his arms defensively, mostly her dagger skittered off of his armour uselessly. Several time she met her mark though, dagger slipping in between plates of armour, sinking into soft flesh. Blood splashed all over her, blinding her for just long enough for her guard to drop. An armoured fist burst through the wall off blood, knocking her square across the jaw, sending her flying. A blue mesh of essence shimmered around her, absorbing the worst of the damage, saving her once again from a broken jaw.

Clicking her fingers again, it felt as Israfel’s feet landed on a solid surface as she spring-boarded back towards the melee. The quick thinking of manipulating sound waves to aid her manoeuvrability took her by surprise, but more importantly it shocked her foe. His face completely dumbfounded as her left palm connected with his jaw. Through the soulsteel band she wore, she pushed her essence, it erupting in a torrent of blue lightning sending the pair ricocheting off of each other. Israfel landed on her feet, but her opponent rolled across the floor stunned. Not wanting to waste a moment she clapped her hands together focusing on the man who was slowly rising to his knees. It was like trying to speak underwater, his essence pushed back against her. All she had managed to do was give him a nose bleed. This wasn’t going to be as easy as the practice dummies...

He was barrelling towards her, the stun only temporary. Raising her dagger before her, Israfel breathed slowly, searching for her own song among the noises crashing through her ears and head. It was faint, unsure of itself, but Israfel readied herself, her song swelling as she willed herself to be confident. The essence thudded through the channels etched into her skin, she could feel it pulsating. She clenched her jaw, the power of it all threatening to overwhelm her. Israfel was very aware of what happened when she left her power unchecked, she wasn’t going to be the loose canon hurting her allies. He was only a few foot from her now, reaching out to grab her. Controlled, the earlier fury gone, she snapped her fingers. More blood poured from her nose, she could feel the sound reverberating outwards, but she reigned it in, focusing it on her target. He shuddered then the man popped like a balloon. From underneath his cuirass there was a waterfall of blood and innards.

“Oh...” Israfel felt herself grow weak, that was not what she expected... Normally people just bled from their ears or nose. Though this was more like how her training dummies ruptured. Still as she looked down at her feet, seeing what she assumed was a part of bowel resting against her boot, Israfel’s leg’s gave out. Just for a moment she blacked out, but something warm and wet brought her back. Cullen was holding her up, his tongue lapping at her face.  
“Okay?” She think she heard him ask, though it was more of a bark than a word though. His transformation pushed beyond his normal limits, though not to the point beyond his control. The way the corners of his muzzle turned up into a smile, the gentleness with which he held her, she knew he had mastery over himself.  
Stroking his face gently Israfel cooed at him, “Yes my love.”

A bloodcurdling scream interrupted the moment of tenderness. Both Israfel and Cullen looked to the source: down from the rafters a bolt of lightning stuck Last Enemy. The man grabbed his head in his hands dropped to his knees, screaming over and over again.

“It is time Smith.” The disembodied voice thundered through the air.

Another bolt of lightning hit him and the screaming stopped.

Last Enemy rose to his feet, though his posture was different. The usual stoop was gone, the almost dance-like grace replaced with more stilted movements. There was no recognition in Last Enemy’s eyes as he looked at Israfel and Cullen, his gaze passed over them, settling on Lisara and Evelyn. A smirk spread across his face.

“It is time to settle the score Lisara.”

Last Enemy’s voice was unrecognisable. Now it was quiet and controlled, in complete contrast to his usual raging tones.

A quiet, “Oh fuck...” came in reply as Lisara pushed Evelyn aside. Last Enemy sprang at Lisara, the two of them fighting bitterly, blood flying as claw met flesh. Lisara was on the defensive, though Israfel was certain it was more from not wanting to hurt her brother in arms, than being outclassed by him.

With Lisara and Last Enemy both out of the main fray, the tide of battle became less in her favour. The Abyssals pushed them harder. Cullen’s chest was heaving with exertion, his silver essence spluttering whenever he used it. Lethargically Sunchild continued to fight. In one hand was her lance, stabbing out, the other holding her patched together torso. Next to Sunchild stood Eddard, they gasped as an axe, swung by a woman far to small to wield such a weapon, hurdled towards Sunchild. Eddard pushed their lover out of the way and took the full brunt of the attack, purple essence flickering uselessly as they ran on fumes. With a strangled cry Eddard crumpled, holding the stump where their arm once was. Sunchild lunged forward, her lance piercing the throat of the axe wielder. With a frustrated cry, Evelyn hurled her gun at an Abyssal that stalked towards her: She was out of bullets Israfel realised as Evelyn punched her assailant in the face and was punched back, her plump lip splitting on impact. Even her own essence was faltering, the blue etched into her skin glowed faintly now. She was dizzy and weak from blood loss, her nose freely flowing as she pulled on the last on her strength to end the life of the Abyssal poised to kill Evelyn.

Israfel knew she couldn’t draw on the essence her, it was putrid beyond use, no one else was using it. Only Lisara and Last Enemy fought on, their pools of essence much deeper in their uninjured, artificial bodies. That’s why, as she turned to Cullen, her heart sank. Their eyes met just as a great hammer smashed into the side of Cullen’s head, silver burst around him as his very essence was bashed out of him. As he dropped to the form limply, his transformation reverted. Cullen laid down in a pool of his own blood. Israfel’s stomach knotted for a brief moment, but then his song reverberated through her heart. It was slow, steady but unusually quiet for him, he was hurt badly, but alive.

"It does not have to be this way Israfel."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter. Sorry.

The voice vibrated through Israfel as the world came to a halt around her. Abyssals frozen in time as they moved to finish off her friends, her family. 

“It is your choice.”

It came from the throne.

A form shimmered behind the mask, an athletic man draped in black lace and loose silken trousers, materialised out of the essence the mask had been drawing in. It was a beautifulbut terrifying sight. Bone white skin, lean muscles highlighted by the purple light, long black hair pulled up into a top-knot, face obscuredbusy the mask. Ethereal, transcendental, monstrous.

“The Mask of Winters...” She whispered. There was no song coming from this man. No life, he was death itself. Israfel shuddered, her breath formed a mist in front of her as this terrible being sucked all  
warmth from the air.

He stood up, his movements the epitome of grace as he descended the throne.

“What do you want?” Her voice quivering with fear.  
The Mask of Winters cocked his head to the side. “You already know that. It is why you are here.”

His voice was cold like ice, emotionless, dead.

“I know what you want from me, but why?”  
“I am a Deathlord. I seek to end Creation, to end it all and return us to the void.”  
She couldn’t help but tremble as The Mask of Winters walked closer to her, stopping within arms reach. “And you need me for that?” She asked timidly.   
“No,” he shook his head, “I do not need you. But you will speed up the process. The outcome is inevitable.”  
Israfel’s fight or flight response was completely broken, terror froze her to the spot. “I... I can’t let you do that...” Her voice trembled and cracked as she spoke.  
His laugh was as terrible as everything else about him, “Child you have no choice. You can do nothing. You are the spawn of a minor God. You are nothing.”

It felt like she was shrinking before him. He was right. She couldn’t do anything. All around her, her family were close to death, saved only by this monster who had frozen time.

“It doesn’t have to be this way Israfel.” He held out his hand to her, “Submit yourself and I will spare them for now. They will live until I end Creation.”

Looking around, Israfel could see time was starting to resume. Cullen was standing to his feet in slow motion, everyone’s movements slow. There was no more fighting, all eyes were on her. The Abyssals grinned manically, but her companions only watched her in horror. She had been given a choice, to save those she loved at the cost of herself, or to let them die. Her heart sunk, there was no choice, all would die, but she could give them more time. Tentatively she reached out, now was the time to save those she loved, no matter what the cost.

“Israfel, no!” Her heart broke hearing Cullen’s pained shout, knowing this would be the last time she ever heard his voice. She wished it was something different, she longed for his soft, deep cadence, the soothing way which he told her he loved her. Instead there was only sorrow in his voice.  
“You can end their suffering.”  
Looking him in the deep black eyes, the only part of his face visible through the mask, Israfel smiled at him, “I will end this all.”

She grasped his hand and pulled on his essence. It flowed into her, vicious and poisonous. The Mask of Winters raged against her, trying to break free from her hand, but the essence bound them together in a grip that could not be broken. His essence was rotting her from the inside out, she could feel her body rebelling against the death inside of it, but Israfel kept drinking. She drank until her cup overflowed, until every cell of her body vibrated with power. The pain was unimaginable, her skin burning where her essence marked it, blue replaced with inky blackness.

Throwing her head back, Israfel opened her mouth, she had planned on screaming, but instead a beautiful long note sung out. The essence she had stolen vibrated through the air around her, bleeding out her song further and further. Around her the world shook as she continued to sing. The Mask of Winters shook. She continued to sing even when her lungs begged her to stop, her chest pounding, her throat hoarse, her essence depleted. She sang until the Mask before her cracked and the world imploded around them. Darkness consumed everything.

Israfel found herself laid facedown in dirty grass, the air here fresher than she had tasted in days. She tried to stand but there was no strength left in her. Her body wouldn't move, even breathing was becoming impossible. All she could do was lay there, face buried in the dirt. There was shouting around her, hands pulling at her, turning her over. She didn’t have the strength left to open her eyes, but there was a sun in the sky, she could see the light through her eyelids.

“Israfel...” A soft voice sobbed. Still it lacked his beautiful cadence. She longed to hear his voice without pain.  
She could barely manage a whisper, “Cullen...”

Despite the sunlight, despite the warm embrace she was pulled into, everything was growing cold and dark. Then realisation hit her, she was dying. She could feel the dark taint of essence eating away at her, pushing her soul out of poisoned body. Fear gripped her, this was why she had never dreamt of her future, the one Cullen shared with her was so sweet. Never before had she been so afraid of losing something she didn’t yet have.

Hot tears landed on her face, burning her, “Don’t leave me.”  
Israfel could feel her breathing slowing down, her body growing numb and heavy. “I’m so happy...” she spoke in between laboured breaths, “I got to meet someone like you...”

The last thing she heard before the darkness consumed her was the gentle sobbing of the word “Don’t” over and over again.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finished it ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡
> 
> Legitimately don't know what to do with my life anymore.

He had known hardship and sorrow many times before, but there was something different about it this time. It was like he was stuck in limbo; unable to move forward to drown out the pain, but unable to look back to wallow in his misery. All he could do was watch.

_Cullen’s mind wandered back to how Lisara had blocked him from entering the medical tent._

_“Trust me you don’t want to see this.” She had told him._

_After an hour his Mother had allowed him entry. Everyone, himself included had been patched up by the field medics that waited on the other side of the gate, but Evelyn had taken charge of Israfel’s care personally. As he entered she was sat next to Israfel, slowly squeezing a bag of air into the unconscious woman via a breathing tube. Access lines and ports had been inserted into her neck and wrists._

_Evelyn had sobbed, begging for his forgiveness that there was nothing more she could do. That they just had to wait for a medical transport to get her home and then there might be something else._

_Cullen had stared blankly at Israfel, kept unconscious by a cocktail of drugs, Evelyn breathing for her, black essence scarring her body. Unable to take in what others were saying to him, or to her._

It had been two weeks since then, since they had been ejected from the Abyssal realm, since Israfel had stopped breathing for herself. There was no change. They were home now, Israfel being treated in Evelyn’s familiar infirmary. She was being ventilated, kept paralysed, black still replaced the soft glowing blue of her essence marks. Around him Evelyn busied herself, altering doses, monitoring observations.

“When will she wake?”  
Evelyn blinked at him, “I... I don’t know.”  
He swallowed hard, “Will she...?” He couldn’t finish the question.  
“I don’t know Cullen...” 

Cullen chewed his lip as he looked at Israfel. Since coming home more tubes had been inserting into her. One down her nose for feeding. Others in places he really didn’t want to think about: he knew Israfel would probably die from embarrassment if she knew about them.

Her essence had been completely drained, but it wasn’t just that, she had drawn power from The Mask of Winters himself. From complete and utter darkness, a God of death. The channels her essence flowed through were corrupted, her entire body poisoned.

“You should get some rest.” Lisara appeared beside him, her voice wracked with concern.  
Shaking his head, he sighed, “I can’t leave her.”  
His body felt numb, he couldn’t feel the coldness as Lisara placed a metal hand on his arm, “It’s been two weeks since you’ve slept. You’ve barely eaten Cullen. Don’t make yourself sick.”  
“I... I can’t...” he sobbed, he couldn’t leave her.  
Another hand landed on him, it was Evelyn’s as she spoke softly, “It’s ok, I get it. I didn’t leave this place for three months once when Lisara was injured.”  
“Three months...” He muttered to himself, unsure if could live that long without her.  
Evelyn was trying to sound hopeful, “But Israfel doesn’t have the same physical injuries Lisara had. This is just her essence... It might be quicker.”  
“You need rest too Evelyn.” Lisara said warmly, moving to his Mum’s side, placing an arm around her. “Come get us if there’s any changes son.”  
Without looking at his parents Cullen nodded and he was left alone.

The misery was overwhelming, he felt hollow, empty without Israfel in his life. He hated these feelings, once had been enough, but to go through them again? Fate was so cruel.

Their home felt so barren now with everyone else gone. The now one armed Eddard had stayed in An-Teng. Their separation from Sunchild had been emotional, but Eddard had their duty, something they never turned their back on. Last Enemy had flown straight back to the Golden river. He had been muted since he attacked Lisara, or his other soul attacked her, clearly ashamed of his own weaknesses. Sunchild had been the last to leave them, going back to Yu-Shan as soon as she was patched up. She had told him it was too much to see Israfel like this, she had sobbed. Culled had just let her cry, he had been in no fit state to offer anyone comfort at that point.

Cullen rubbed his temples, this uncertainty would be his undoing. If she would just wake up everything would be fine again, better than fine with nothing looming over them. If she died... tears pricked his eyes at the though... If she died at least he could finally kill himself and be done with all this suffering. Once again he had failed to protect the one he loved. A painful reminder of his own inadequacies.

An alarm brought him back to reality. The ventilator was beeping at him, but his tired eyes couldn’t read the small flashing text. He got up, and walked around the bed, leaning in close to the monitor to read. Cullen wasn’t medically trained like him Mum, he didn’t understand all the different settings on the ventilator. What the Hell did PEEP even mean? But he could understand this alarm...

“RR too high.” Respiratory rate he reminded himself, “Spontaneous breathing detected.”

His eyes darted back to Israfel. He chest was heaving, the blacked marks on her body were now a faint grey-ish blue colour.

“MUM!” he yelled at the top of his lungs as he grabbed Israfel’s hand, squeezing it.

She squeezed back.

~~~

For the first time in what felt like an eternity Israfel could hear something. She had been suspended in darkness for so long, all of her senses blocked. This isn’t how she had imagined death, this certainly didn’t marry up with the experience her Father had. Initially she’d been questioning herself, wondering what sin she had committed to be subjected to such a lonely prison. Had she taken on The Mask of Winters sin? Was she instead facing his punishment? Then came the panic at her situation, death or not, this was no way to exist. Israfel knew she couldn’t stand this for the rest of time, she would break. Finally there came acceptance, she wrapped herself in sweeter thoughts. She might not be able to see him in her memories, hear his voice or feel his touch, but she could remember how he made her feel. The tension between them to start with, then joy from just his presence, the love he had given her. Cullen had made her feel so strong. She could never let go of that feeling.

To start with, she thought she had imagined the song playing faintly. But then Israfel remembered she couldn’t even imagine sound in here. It was a real song, breaking down the barriers of wherever she was...

Israfel latched onto it, clung to it with miniscule amount of essence she had managed to build up. Feeling started to come back. Her limbs felt heavy, her body ached, she could see florescent lights through closed eyes, her mouth tasted terrible, she could hear voices. It was impossible to understand what they were saying, her mind was still foggy. There was a tugging at her throat, that was the moment she realised she was chocking on something, she gagged. There was shouting now. She could feel herself being pushed onto her side, whatever was down her throat was pulled out, past her teeth. Gods the taste was disgusting... She retched, bringing up whatever was in her stomach. Whoever was moving her about, gently laid her onto here back again, a mask placed over her face.

“That’s it Israfel. Breathe.”

Well at least she could understand words again, the fog clearing. 

Squinting, she opened her eyes and groaned, the lights were so bright. Looming of her, at her head was a woman with deep brown skin and huge, black coiled hair.

“E... Evelyn?” Her throat felt like it was lined with sand paper. A soothing hum washed over her, Israfel looked to her left, where the hum was loudest. “Lisara... did we do it?” Gods talking was uncomfortable.  
“You did it Israfel.” Her voice was soft, humming like the sound of her essence.

The song that called her back began to thump, drumming in time to a heartbeat, it hit roaring crescendos. 

“...Cullen” She wanted to jump up, wrap her arms around him, but the most she could manage was to flop her head to the other side, facing him. It barely looked like Cullen, his complexion was grey, heavy bags had formed under his eyes. The light stubble she used to enjoy nuzzling up against was replaced with an unkempt beard.  
“Hey you.” That was what she had longed to hear: the soft, deep tones of his voice rumbling through the air, free from pain and fear. His voice was full of concern for her, but that was a loving tone that she could bask in forever. Rough fingers stroked her face, “I thought I lost you.” Tears started to run down his face.  
“Don’t...” She coughed painfully, “don’t cry my love.”  
She felt so helplessly weak as he lifted her hand up and held it too his cheek, “I’m sorry.”  
Israfel found the strength to move her fingers, scratching them through his beard, “What can I do to make it better?”  
“You’re doing nothing Israfel.” Evelyn replied facing away from her, distracted by the medication pumps attached to her. There was a succession of beeps and Israfel started to feel more human again, several of the pumps were turned off. “I need you to focus on getting your strength back.”  
“Mum’s right, don’t worry about me.” Israfel rocked in the bed as Cullen put his weight on it, learning forward to kiss her on the forehead. His lips felt so soft and warm against her skin, his beard tickled her eyelids. “I’ll be fine after a nights sleep and a shave.”  
“Come to bed with me then.” Dammed how that sounded, dammed that his parents were right there. Israfel needed to feel him next to her after spending an eternity alone.  
Lisara laughed, “What an offer.”  
“Is... Israfel!” He turned bright red, looking about nervously.  
“I think she meant for sleep.” Evelyn tried to sound collected, but she was blushing too, “Just be careful of her lines.”

Cullen nodded to Evelyn, then looked back to Israfel and smiled warmly. He let go of her hand, Lisara now lifted it out f the way, Evelyn minding the numerous lines and wires she was attached too. Slowly Cullen climbed into bed next to her, the frame creaking under his weight, the mattress rocking as he settled down next to her. Israfel murmured at his warmth as he nestled down next to her. Despite the fact that she had only just woken up, she was unbelievably tired, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the soft growl as Cullen breathed in her ear, it all lulled her back into sleep.

~~~

Today was the first day in weeks that Israfel had been allowed outside. She was finally free of all of Evelyn’s invasive and non-invasive treatment and monitoring. Israfel had been begging for days to be taken outside, she dearly missed fresh air and sunshine. Everyone kept telling her she needed more time, but her recovery was frustratingly slow, she had only just managed to take a couple of steps unaided. What she did want was some time alone, away from the near constant beeping of medical equipment and his parents tending to her. Time to mull over everything that had happened. Time with Cullen free from interruptions.

Cullen had carried her outside, he had been treating her like she was made of glass since she awoke. It was frustrating, she missed his touch, the usual urgency of his passion. She crawled across the grass, out from under the shade of the tree to where he was laying a picnic out for them.

He sat back on his haunches and smiled at her, “Hey there. I would have come and got you if you’d just asked.”  
“I need the exercise.” She crawled up to him, taking hold of his shoulders to pull herself up so she could straddle him. “Kiss me Cullen.”

His lips brushed her gently. The he pulled back smiling at her.

Israfel frowned at him, the grabbed him by the hair, pushing their faces together, forcing her tongue into his mouth. She needed a real kiss. He grumbled against her, holding the back of her head, the heat rising between them. She relished the taste of him, drank him in. Gods she needed him, and from the way he grabbed at her she knew he felt the same way. It was clear Cullen had been holding back the last few weeks. 

A whine escaped her lips as he pulled away from her.

“Not hear.” He panted.  
Hating it, she knew he was right, the gardens were hardly private. “Maybe I can spend the night somewhere other than the infirmary tonight.” She purred at him.  
“Gods I hope so.” He grinned at her, resting his forehead against hers.  
“So what now?”  
“What do you mean?” He asked, tracing circles on her back with his fingers.  
“You told me you had all these plans for us. When do we start?”  
The way he smiled at her melted her heart, how the corners of his mouth curl up, the flash of his fangs as his smile broadened, “We’ll have plenty of time for all that, you need to get back on your feet first.”

Israfel moved her hands to hold his face. She looked deep into his eyes, they were just as mesmerising today as the first time she had seen them, staring up at her from her kitchen table. Finally she felt a peace she hadn’t experienced since she had lived on her farm.

“Forgive my eagerness Cullen...” She smiled brightly, “It’s just I can actually think about the future now.”  
“Our future.” Cullen corrected her.  
Israfel nodded.  
“Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the one person that actually read this! I love you.


End file.
